PART EIGHT– Day 888 to Victory
The Third Dimension (cont.)
(More of) The Feast of PENTECOST
Sean and my wife, Marilyn, talked of how much and in what way they loved each other, a way, Marilyn declared, I’d never known. Yet I didn’t see their love for each other or for anyone else.
I have long preached that the love the world talks about, the love of romance, sentiment, and feeling, is not the true or highest love to which God calls us and in which we must all walk at the cost of any other kind, such as love of family and friendship. To fall short of the highest love is to fall short of God, His glory, and His Kingdom.
The Greeks had specific words for these two loves, one being “phileo,” a love those in the world are capable of having for one another, it being predominantly a love of emotion and feelings. The other is “agape,” the spiritual love no person possesses without the grace of God. This love is one of unselfish will for another. It is not one of feelings or sentiment, but one of determination, a matter of will. The agape love is not reactive only, but proactive.
Satan and his children have phileo (they can do no better), but God and His children deal in the realm of agape. I noted how Jesus was somehow different after the resurrection toward His disciples than before. After the resurrection, He seemed more distant or almost detached. Yet His Spirit, compassion, and motivation were true and perfectly dependable. His love was not what He felt, but what He willed. His love was of Heaven and not of this world. (I’m not saying He didn’t have this highest love before He was resurrected, only that He was constrained by the human nature and was compelled to live with human characteristics, such as phileo love, which is legitimate, in and of itself.)
Marriage among men and women is in phileo love, if not in an even lower form of love the Greeks call “eros,” one predominantly sensual, as with animals. The marriage supper of the Lamb, however, is one of agape love. That is why Jesus said that in Heaven (the spiritual realm, as opposed to the carnal realm), they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels.
In Ephesians 5:25-33, husbands are called upon to lay their lives down for their wives (agape love). When man enters the Kingdom of God (the spiritual realm), he is called on to live in agape, not in emotion or lust or affection, but in sacrificial love. Wives, however, aren’t called upon to live that way, according to the Scriptures. Titus 2:4 calls for wives to love their husbands in the sense of being affectionate (G5362 – philandros), this being the only reference to wives loving their husbands.
Still, in Christ, wives love with a spiritual love for, in Christ, there is neither male nor female. As Christ laid down His life for His congregation, His Body, His Bride and Wife known as the Church, so the husband lays down his life for his wife. As the Bride of Christ is thus moved by her Husband to lay down her life for others in agape love, so the wife of the man is moved to reciprocal agape, not only for the husband, but for all.
The world loves its own, but it hates the Lord and those walking with Him. This is partly because those who walk with Him don’t dwell in the realm of affection or worldly religious motivation. True believers don’t go to church in search of emotional good times or uplifting, which counterfeit believers call “spiritual.” The believer’s basis of life is the truth, not good feelings; agape love, not phileo love; faith, not willpower; service to, and appreciation of, God, not gratification of his senses or one of heroics.
Satan presumes to “save” man in his unconverted state and keep him in the world, even if he calls himself a Christian. Jesus said to Peter, “When you are converted….” Peter only knew phileo love (John 21:15-19; Luke 22:32-34). What would Satan seek to accomplish in sifting Peter? It would not be destroying his carnal man, but influencing him to trust in the earthly realm, to “serve God” in the unconverted state, in phileo love.
Before Peter could be God’s vessel of ministry, he had to overcome to the place of agape love. He was converted at Pentecost when receiving the Spirit and was turned into another man, from weakness to strength, fear to boldness, denial to declaration, flesh to spirit, first Adam to Last Adam, phileo to agape, from faith to faith.
Today, many profess to be born again, and one cannot tell many of them otherwise. Who is in error? Was I wrongfully critical or skeptical of their claims, or is there a deceptive, treacherous mixture, as in Noah’s day, which now has no remedy except a fearful, fiery cleansing? These people use the right words and definitions, but I only hear words. I see religiosity, custom, affectation, hypocrisy, lukewarmness, and contradiction, but I don’t see fruits.
How can one be born again, yet speak against the gifts of the Spirit? How can one have the Spirit of Truth, yet celebrate pagan holidays, especially Christmas, Easter, and Halloween? How can God-fearing people continue in religious systems contrary to the ways of the Lord? How can they be so contrary to the Bible and its doctrines? How can they love the world so? James declares that friendship with the world is enmity with God (James 4:4).
I often saw Jonathan’s physical frailties manifest, and it bothered me. I recalled the prophecy, “and you will miss him when he’s gone.” Would the Lord take him in frailty before we go? Would we lose him?
This torment was not of God. “He is in Your hands, Lord, and You have blessed him with Your gifts and powers, with Your life. Is that not good?”
(In 2015, years after these concerns, Jonathan is a strong, healthy man, apart from the recreational injuries he often suffers doing parkour and free running.)
There are four possible levels of existence I know of on this earth, with many levels within these levels. First is the heathen state where multitudes dwell, where I dwelt until 1973. A search was put in me to go higher. Searching, I was granted repentance of sin, the second dimension. I thought, “This is it! How wonderful!”
And it surely was wonderful, but this second level wasn’t enough. A small voice within me was saying, “You’re not where you need to be yet; there’s more.” Searching for more, this time with my newly-wed wife, Marilyn, we were baptized in the Spirit, this becoming the third dimension or level.
As in the entrance to repentance, the Bible again became a new book, but on a new and deeper level of understanding. It was glorious! But upon entering in, as wonderful as it was, with the increased knowledge and understanding of God, we soon realized there was more, and there were others to urge us on. So I kept going, waiting, hoping, searching to the day of this record, a quarter century later.
Now there were indications I’d entered a new dimension, as per Lois’ vision, one with a throne. This was that 4th dimension, the Feast of Tabernacles, the overcoming, the rest, the unveiling, presence, and manifestation of the Lord – more commonly called the Second Coming. I would even liken it to what many believe of the state of a rapture. Yes, I’d been “raptured.”
Feeling chest pains and shortness of breath, I wondered if I wasn’t, in fact, leaving this world after all. Lois and Marilyn urged me to see the doctor, so I drove from home to emergency while they drove in from the farm to meet me. The doctor examined me and found nothing wrong with my heart. Strange how those who seemed to want me to leave this realm still wanted me to receive medical care! I went. You know what it was? A pulled muscle in the chest. And you know what caused it? Laughing! I was so out of shape!
Then Marilyn had a message in tongues and interpretation: “Rejoice and give thanks. Watch what I will do. Set your eyes on the Lord and not on the things of this world.”
In the night of March 13-14, 1999, in a dream, Lois saw a wall of fire, and in front of the fire were two hands shaking, as in friendship. One hand or arm was bare while the other had a sleeve showing. To me this spoke of reconciliation in the fire, making of two one new man. I saw the dream as a present occurrence and the breakthrough I’d spoken about.
John Schussler‘s saskatoon berry business appeared to be thriving. On the other hand, he reported to us that someone had sent a truck up from the southern states to pick up a shipment of jam at his facilities while he was away. There went an unauthorized $70,000 of jam, according to him. John said that some time later, he found the jam selling in a retail outlet in the US, for which he never saw a penny. Other significant problems arose as well. Was this the judgment of God on deceptive marketing practices? Where would it end? We would see.
On March 15, 1999, 900 days after Marilyn’s prophecy, she had a vision of us in our tiny community coming out of a dark, closed place into a broad, open space with light.
One does not get socially, intimately, and emotionally involved with anyone for years without effect, especially evident when a parting of ways comes. To me, it was tragic the way Archie and his family had to leave and were robbed of what I envisioned to be potential wonderful blessings. If only they could have believed and endured to the end. While I could do nothing about their unbelief, I was bothered about some things I could have done something about, or so I supposed.
Archie resented many things, one of those being that, by his estimation, I had sold our 1987 Ford LTD car to him for too much. It bothered me that I had passed a Charles Givens financial package on to him for a few hundred dollars instead of returning it for fear I would not receive a refund. Archie claimed it paid for itself, but it still bothered me that I had the idea of using him to cover myself. I wondered if I shouldn’t compensate him.
In discussing my thoughts and feelings with others, Marilyn was angry that I should entertain any notions of giving him anything. “We once gave him a car, paid for plates and insurance, and we paid off their credit cards. Why did he never complain about or remember that?” she objected. Lois declared that all Archie could ever think of was what they could get from us. They also reminded me that, had Archie been open and honest, things would be very different for them and between us. All of this was true; I couldn’t argue.
I left things, concluding there was nothing under God that was required of me, but I was never to be satisfied until something more happened or was done somehow. Lois received that I would be doing the right thing by them.
Rob and Corinne Hepher made an appointment to come and visit us at Harvest Haven. They were new customers interested in eating properly. We met on March 21, 1999. Lois had a Word for them, saying that they were perishing (which they were, spiritually) and that Rob had a hearing ear.
I was expecting good things of them, even thinking I had heard they would be the firstfruits of a general spiritual, corporate turnaround with us. However, while Rob seemed positive in the visit, Corinne was resisting. In following up, it turned out they didn’t like to hear what we had to say to them. They felt there was “a heavy” with us, that we were “controlling.”
“You’re too serious,” they said. “We’ve never met people like you.” They decided they wanted no part of us. People are so unaccustomed to, and fearful of, sober spiritual discipline. What, is Christianity all about wonderful feelings, fun, and games? What about denying self, forsaking all, dealing with sin, taking up the cross, sobriety, vigilance, discipline, correction, persecution, and even martyrdom?
I was troubled by the Hephers’ rejection, as usual, until the Lord told me that their trouble was that I had spoken with authority, which they hated. Lois said Corinne “wore the pants” in the marriage, and I knew that was true, not only with them, but with married couples in general. Men prefer wives’ authority to God’s. I told Rob he needed to forsake his wife.
I wrote Miyuki on March 19, 1999:
You phoned asking for prayer, saying you were going to give your notice at work. I tried even then to encourage you and did not feel at that time that it was too late for your decision, though it seemed late and you were halting. Now Mark has written on March 9th, expressing frustration, saying he had been talking to you the night before and had been angry with you. You apparently had no faith whatsoever and were in terrible shape. You said your health was deteriorating and that your family was in tears, distressed.
Yes, you had a house, debt, family to support, and no other income. That is what the Lord is all about. How can He prove Himself as a Savior to you with situations possible for us to handle? How can He answer your prayer or request, as stated above, if you are able to trust in things other than Him? Faith is not about having other things to fall back on if we forsake something. And “without faith, it is impossible to please God,” say the Scriptures.
You wrote me on November 22nd, asking if the Lord wanted you to quit the job “right now.” I thought that it should be clear. In that letter you said, “There’s nothing to ask you about the message anymore. I know what I should do.” So I decided that you understood and that it was now only a matter of doing.
Days went by which turned into weeks, months, which now turn into more months. I believe that even if I weren’t clear as to when you should quit, in faith you would act and not hesitate; in unbelief, you would falter.
Miyuki, in praying in the last few days concerning this matter, I received that you have already disobeyed in that you delayed instead of giving “the shortest notice allowable to your employer.” Because of fear and unbelief, the children of Israel could not enter into the promised land when they had opportunity. The Lord thus turned them back into the wilderness. I do not believe that if you were to quit now, it would be profitable to either you or to the Lord. In fact, without faith, I suspect it would be disastrous, though the Lord still provides, one way or another.
I believe that if you had obeyed, you would have received all you had asked for and more. I believe you can talk to your employer, remain working, and request a different arrangement whereby you can have time with Ruth, as they offered you, and perhaps receive some other changes suitable for you and your family.
You had asked that we pray for Ruth, your mother, aunt, and family. I realize, now that I re-red your Nov. 22nd letter, that you were somehow taking your family with you, that you expected them to believe with you, to somehow understand, even if in limited ways or degrees. When the Lord calls one, He calls that one alone, even as with Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, and so many others. It’s you and God, nobody else. He takes care of everybody else and expects you to come alone, stripped of everything and everyone.
It isn’t our righteousness, Miyuki. The way we find that out is when the Lord requires of us difficult, if not impossible, things and we discover that unless we have faith, we can’t do it (obey). When the spies of Israel returned from searching out Canaan, they said, “The land is a wonderful land, very fruitful, but we can’t do it, we can’t take the land; the enemy is too big and strong.”
The children of Israel were afraid and wept; they murmured against the Lord and against Moses and Aaron. They decided they would rather go back to Egypt, to the old life. The Lord was angry and said to them, “Therefore you will not be entering that land I promised you. Your children will, but you won’t” (Numbers 13 and 14).
Did the Lord cast them off entirely, then? No. He provided them with all the necessities in a wilderness where there was no other provision. Their clothes and their shoes never wore out in forty years. They fought armies of enemies and were victorious. In a wilderness of heat and drought, a million and a half people or more survived for forty years along with their livestock. They had all they needed in shelter, clothing, food, water, and security from enemies, disease, and a hostile environment.
Most importantly, God was with them and He was still their God, though that first generation could not enter the promised land, but perished in the wilderness. His miraculous provision testified against their unbelief.
Every one of us discovers that Christ is our righteousness and we have none of our own. We only think we do.
These are not tall tales, Miyuki, but Scriptural fact, recorded for our sakes. You have been exposed for who you are… a phony, insincere unbeliever, prizing your own life, favouring yourself and not God, making a show of faith in God, yet not having faith. And so must it be for me and all of us – we must fail and see ourselves as we really are.
Even Abraham faltered when having sexual relations with Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar, to have a son by his own strength, rather than by trusting God. He also lied to Pharaoh to preserve himself, not trusting God to protect him, and repeated that very same deed with Abimelech as though he had never learned or grown spiritually. But he also had his victories and is now known as our father in faith, the father of many nations. In the final analysis or observation, he overcame in the Lord, though he was weak, as are we. He believed, and it was counted to him for righteousness.
Do not quit your job. That option is not now available to you.
Miyuki replied, distressed, as expected, but there was nothing to be done.
On March 24th, I was moved to write a letter to Bob Fife and tell him I saw three gods in his life with which he needed to deal. Food, a ministry to homosexuals, and his son, Sean, for whom he seemed to have an inordinate affection. The latter was not a physical thing, but a carnal connection that seemed too important to him in relation to God. As expected, he didn’t reply on these matters, which I was seeing and hearing when he visited us. Bob loved his food and was quite obese. He spoke of an outreach to homosexuals and of his great love for his son. All these appeared disproportionate to his relationship to the Lord.
Dick Deweert and those at The Miracle Channel were claiming to miraculously receive gold fillings replacing amalgams. I asked the Lord (not that I didn’t already strongly suspect, but I wanted to be sure), “Father, is this of You?”
He immediately replied, “Are they with you?” I knew the answer to that one. Those “miracles” were the “signs and lying wonders” of the man of sin, the first Adam.
I was finding myself still falling far short of godliness. We held a garage sale at Marj Tennant’s to get rid of unwanted goods. I found myself trying to get as much as I could for the goods, exaggerating and passing on information of which I wasn’t absolutely sure. Oh, the covetous, selfish heart! Lord! When? When would I love you and neighbor as myself?
Jonathan had an inguinal hernia for a few years and finally it was troubling him, so we decided he needed another operation (the first being his circumcision). An appointment is slated. Why did the Lord not take care of it without the scalpel? I don’t know. He hadn’t done it with Jonathan’s eczema or his circumcision. Was it lack of faith? I don’t believe so, but I can’t say I really know. He had his operation May 10, 1999. It wouldn’t be his last.
To say, “I believe God is in me because the Bible says so,” is vain and legalistic. To say, “I believe the Bible because God is in me,” is a natural, unspoken reality. The former easily entertains doubt and faltering, whereas the latter is a foundation of rock, and the Lord is that Rock and the Alpha. The Bible originates with Him, not He with the Bible. To say otherwise is to worship the Bible, not God.
Another example: Some say that one must believe in the virgin birth to be a true believer. I say that as a true believer, one will believe in the virgin birth, but it isn’t necessary to believe in the virgin birth to be a believer. To say otherwise is to be dependent on externals, which is counterfeit to the reality. Who of all the believers in the Scriptures believed in the virgin birth? How about Zacchaeus, Saul of Tarsus, Nicodemus, and so many, if not all, others? There’s no indication any of these knew Jesus was born of a virgin, and it wasn’t an issue of faith for salvation.
These thoughts were provoked when reading The Handwriting of God by Grant Jeffrey. He criticized Emil Brunner, whom he called a “modern, liberal theologian,” who seemed to be saying what I’m saying here. Jeffrey doesn’t understand and thus goes on to falsely denounce Brunner as a non-Christian who denies the “original” orthodox Christian, Biblical faith.
If I only went by the words Jeffrey quoted of Brunner, I would have to say it was Brunner who had the genuine Christian experience. Jeffrey certainly didn’t have it. He depended on the Bible, not on God. To eat directly from the Bible is to eat of the Tree of Knowledge, which brings death. It is an act of independence from God; it is trusting in one’s own understanding and power for salvation.
Grant Jeffrey died of cardiac arrest at age 63.
A wonderful revelation! How does the Lord protect us from liars? He does so by keeping us honest!
“A wicked-doer gives heed to false lips; a liar gives ear to an evil tongue” (Proverbs 17:4 MKJV).
“The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a vanity tossed to and fro by those who seek death” (Proverbs 21:6 MKJV).
“Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who do the truth are His delight” (Proverbs 12:22 HNV).
Because there was some conflict and misunderstanding with the Overbeek children, I decided to talk to Casey. Again, I told him, “You mock God in all your ways. You run around ‘ministering’ to the youth, etc., but your own family is ignored.” I told him that I appreciated the effect his brother, George, had on Jamie by giving him attention, that Jamie and Kalista were ignored and neglected by them, and that Kalista’s countenance had so lit up when we lent her a bike.
I chastised them for believing their children’s lies instead of coming to us for both sides of the story. (I said these things to them primarily because they professed faith in Christ, yet lived lives so contrary to Him and the counsel of the Scriptures.)
“Victor, I tell you now, the reason we stayed away from you is because you are so critical.”
“Yes, I am critical,” I answered.
“If you enjoy it, fine!” he replied.
“No, I don’t enjoy it,” I said, “but I have to speak up. They saw the prophets as critical and stoned them. The Bible says to reprove the works of darkness. Isaiah was told to tell the people their sins. You are to leave your gift at the altar when your neighbor has something against you, but no, you pretend there’s nothing wrong. Is that right? Your children are liars because you (the parents) are liars.”
“Kids do things…. Shrug it off…. Kids will be kids,” he said.
I replied, “No, you don’t shrug it off. You face it and deal with it.”
“Well, if it works for me, fine,” he retorted.
I said, “It isn’t working for you. You’ve reaped consequences and you’ll reap more.”
“That’s fine,” he said.
I said, “No, it isn’t fine. You need to repent. God isn’t condemning you and I don’t condemn you, but it won’t go well for you if you don’t repent.”
“We’re not going to do things just because Victor told us,” he said. There were other things said, and then he hung up on me.
We didn’t win a popularity contest with the Arnoldussens. The Overbeeks decided to agree with them after living next to us. Now Overbeeks were gone and we had new neighbors, the Den Hertogs, Chris and Wilma. So far, it was three Dutch families, all Reform, and all religious. Would these also have a problem with me? Likely. We were hoping for, and expecting, better things.
I confessed to Marilyn a few years before that I hated her. I confessed it again on April 7, 1999. The thought of her choosing me now over Sean was abhorrent to me; I wouldn’t want it. I think I hated her for two reasons: She had rejected me for someone else (which makes me childish at least and anti-Christ at most); and she had been domineering our lives and marriage. How free I felt at home without her! I realized she had always “worn the pants.” Who but a fool could argue with that? And I didn’t have any interest in laying down my life for anyone, least of all for her.
I awoke on April 8th, realizing that in the night, the Lord ministered to me, reminding me that true love doesn’t need reciprocation. Jesus came to His own and His own rejected Him. Knowing it would be so, He still came and did what He had to do – nothing less than lay down His life for those hating Him.
I had a very unpleasant dream of Archie, wherein he was troubled and antagonistic. I awoke and asked Marilyn if I had not offended a little one. Then suddenly I was reminded of the picture I bought at a garage sale 12 or 13 years ago. Do you recall the picture of the men on winged horses, one of those being doomed on forbidden territory? I realized that the picture was fulfilled in Archie and that I was not the one to blame for his situation. Still, how tragic it was!
We had another battle, out of nowhere, for no good reason. Whereas I often found Marilyn to be utterly unreasonable during her time of the month, this was two days after she finished. The Bible designates 7 days of uncleanness after a woman’s time. Does this include the emotional/spiritual state as well as the physical?
She could be so interruptive, impudent, argumentative, defensive, and self-justifying. She made me so very angry.
It’s an awful shame for any couple to fight so, especially those who name the Lord, and even more so those who presume to lead and teach, supposing to understand and be a light. “Don’t do as we do. Just do as we say!” Why the furious war between us? There could be lulls between the battles, some short, some longer, but they were always sure to erupt, one way or another. Why?
She complained about all the time it took to home-school Jonathan and deal with the farm. I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn’t listen. Why was there no time? Was God unjust? She said she couldn’t take any more, squarely laying the blame on me. And I didn’t know who was to blame. I was sure we were both guilty, but I was getting fed up with her.
I finished The Lovely Essence of Satan.
Surprisingly, Les Mills came by, and we talked for three hours. Les didn’t believe a thing I said. He reminded me very much of Art Beals, one professing faith, dogmatically so, yet believing nothing, a constant enemy of the faith.
Two things I said to him defeated Les on this day. One, he wondered why I wasn’t getting in touch with him. I told him that while he was free to come and go, I wasn’t. Two, he thought I wasn’t in touch with him because I was hurt or offended. I told him that such wasn’t at all the case, that I had hurt them and not they me. He didn’t like that. Not that I had intentions of hurting anyone.
Les said they had wanted to come to the farm and get to know us all, but my letter nixed it. He walked away with defeat written all over him. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do about it. He acknowledged that perhaps the words I had been speaking to him were true, but the timing was wrong. I told him that if God was giving me the words, He was also over the timing. I saw the words I was given to speak as good seed sown to come to fruition in due time.
On the day that Les visited, Bob Fife called Sean and told him the very same thing I heard from Les. Bob said that he had been prepared to come to the farm, but my letter to him precluded a visit. This was a double witness in one day from two entirely independent sources that my letters discouraged people from us. Was God telling me I’m wrong, that I do great damage in my letter writing? I didn’t know; I just didn’t. What I did know was that my vision was fulfilled of landing on enemy territory and defeating the enemy coming to stop me, which included Les. Was stopping the enemy from wasting our time not a good thing?
As for Bob, he spewed out all sorts of absurdities to Sean and wasn’t prepared to be corrected or to consider anything else. Would there, then, have been any point in his coming?
Now for some apparent blasphemy. The Christian we have been must go. We must become Christians all over again; that is what is meant by the Lord’s “second coming” or His return. Whereas we “followed” Christ and were therefore “Christians,” now it must be that we are Christ. This is the manifestation of a son of God.
Were we not legitimate as we were? Surely, just as the Jews, the Tabernacle, and the Temple were legitimate. But there came a day when those were done away. So with us. And while we served in weakness, in uncertainty, knowing only in part, in due time the perfect must come, seeing face to face and knowing even as also we are known (1 Corinthians 13:12). This is the day for which we as creatures have been groaning (Romans 8:19-21), even as a caterpillar in a cocoon strives to take on its new nature.
This is that Day of the Lord. This is the day of the dethronement of the son of perdition, of his consummation, and the day for the Lord to take the reins and rule (2 Thessalonians 2:8).
The synagogue (church) of Satan came, thinking they were at the front lines to see the coming of the Lord, and not only to see, but also to reign with Him. But they came and went, missing the whole event. Now judgment alone awaited them, because the Day of the Lord is a day of judgment, great for the righteous but terrible for the wicked. It is the day of their rebuke.
Satan came to devour and he failed, as purposed; he found nothing in me. The man child has been “raptured,” caught up to where nothing can touch him anymore, and Satan’s power is broken.
We must be born again, again. This is that third and final Feast. The Lord was with, came to be in, and now comes to BE, that God may be all in all. The Feast of Tabernacles is the present reality, the finality of His work, ready to begin a new day.
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Page 5 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle – Pioneers The unknown brings fear to some. To others there comes a sense of excitement and adventure, especially if they believe that all will be well in the end. Added to the blessings of excitement and adventure are surprise and elation when it is discovered that the journey has been internal, and the unknown none other than the pioneer himself. Pioneers we are and nothing else. Strange country we're compelled to tread; Hostile inhabitants deplore our presence; We take their ground from under them. Of our own kind there are but few; The farther we advance, the fewer there are. We go on and on until there are none; Front lines are the goal for us all. Where we stand no one has come To comfort and to hold our hand Except for the Great One, The Pioneer Who has blazed the trail alone. Irony of ironies, where does that trail lead? To bush and barren place, a land of dire need? But no, it leads us home at last Where rest prevails and torment is past. Particle - The Rest of God I thought I entered rest when I was first converted... and I had! Compared to the former horrible state of darkness and misery, the realm of repentance was glorious and restful indeed. But I had not arrived. Then came trials, urgings, and purgings leading to the receiving of God's Spirit. Again, the realm of the Spirit was glorious compared to the one of repentance, and I rested as revelations came and great bu...
Page 3 PART THREE– Israel to Bernalillo (cont.) Particle – Seeking Signs, Fornication, and Forsaking Paul had become a believer before he and Alison married. He told me that he had been sleeping with her before marriage, and he had asked God for a sign as to whether they should marry or not. One night, he asked that, if they were not to be married, Alison would wake in the morning facing away from him, but if they were to marry, that she would wake facing him. “She woke facing me,” Paul said, arguing that he received a sign from God as requested, thus proving that Alison was to be his lawful wife. In this way, Paul confirmed what I was seeing. I now began to understand the implications of what I first saw of them, when viewing the room next to ours. It became more and more evident that I would have to deliver a message to him that I didn't want to deliver. I struggled, wondering if I was right, but I realized the Lord required it of me to speak and I would have no peace until I did. Paul and Alison weren't supposed to have been married. Marriage license or not, they were living in fornication as far as the Lord was concerned, and I had to break the news to them that Paul was to forsake her. I tried to communicate subtly to him, hoping he would come to the realization on his own, but it didn't happen. I was afraid that if this message was clearly recognized by others in the community as coming from me, my name in Revivim would be mud. Likely we would be expelled from...
Page 8 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle – Split Tree Falls on Fred's House While visiting Fred and Delores, I had a vision wherein I saw a great tree, cut off at the top and bottom, trimmed, and split in two down the center. I saw half of it come slamming down on top of Fred's log house, crushing it. The second half of that log fell, landing on top of the first, matching the splits (the first with split up, the second with split down). I interpreted it to mean that Fred's house was finished. Particle – Ivah and Leah Revealed Delores wanted us to visit her friend, Ivah. Ivah's husband was in prison, and her daughter, Leah, was living with her. Ivah was in her fifties, very thin, and professed to believe, though she seemed quite confused. Scars on her neck evidenced her having undergone surgery for cancer. Leah was in her early twenties. While Leah had gone along with her mother's religious activities, she was now dating a Catholic fellow, drinking, and generally living contrary to her mother's wishes. When I asked her about it, she said she wasn't interested in following after God, that she had tried it and gotten nowhere. (Of course, it was a case of the blind leading the blind and having fallen into the ditch.) I had thought that the vision I had was of them. The strange thing, however, was that Leah's hair wasn't thick, long, and black at all, but medium brown and short, and her skin wasn't dark, but very pale, almost a light cream. The...