PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888
The Third Dimension (cont.)
(More of) The Feast of PENTECOST
On January 23, 1998, 13 years after Dad was “gathered to his fathers,” and about 18 years after Uncle Bill (my surrogate father) passed on, Dad and his uncle came to me in a vision. I was at home alone. Dad was asking my forgiveness, and it seemed he was the spokesperson for Uncle asking the same. I readily gave it and asked if he and Uncle would forgive me for sins against them. He waved his hand at me as if to say (and he did say, in spirit), “You have nothing to be forgiven for! Forget it! No problem here!”
I told Dad I loved him and said to him, “Let your heart be warmed with the love of a son for which you longed in your life. Let all be made right. Dad, the Lord loves you, too. Now, rejoice, kick up your heels, and love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Live in joy, not as the world over fleshly matters, but in the things of God.
“Love your neighbors and do them good – encourage them; help them. Let them know that your son lives, forgives you for everything, and loves you. No greater joy can a father have than to know the love of his son in all its strength and purity! Now you know that! Isn’t it wonderful, Dad? Serve the Lord in gladness.”
“Uncle, I take it that some things I said and our late visits bore some fruit after all! You too can enjoy life. Yes, it’s for you, too! Sorry for the evil I’ve done.”
“Dad, I’m really sorry for all the things I did to cause you pain and sorrow. I’m so sorry. I know you forgive me absolutely. What’s this? You say you’re the one who is sorry for what you’ve done to me and to everyone? Yes. And we forgive you, Dad. Those who know better and can forgive, do. Help your neighbors, Dad. Now you can do something positive for them and for me, too, and mostly for the Lord.”
“Uncle, I’m glad to hear there’s a stirring in you and that you respond; I can perceive it. Go on; it’s good; don’t be afraid.”
Rejoicing that they were forgiven, Dad and Uncle went, arms over shoulders, hopping and skipping down the road with joy. Dad had, in essence, said, “All’s well that end’s well.”
The world they were in seemed the same as this one, yet different. There seemed to be less physical gravity and more capability to do physical things we can’t easily do here. I was moved and thankful for that event. I had spoken many encouraging words to both of them, to love God and neighbor.
Was Dad glad or what! My forgiveness meant so much to him. That was why he came. What all these people need is forgiveness. I see that now. An anger left me that I didn’t realize I had been carrying for a long time.
(As I edit this record years later, I realize their physical abilities, like running, hopping, and skipping with arms over one another’s shoulders were a representation of their spiritual abilities and feelings. It didn’t mean that the next world has less gravity or anything like that.)
I had never experienced anything like that before, where persons I once knew communicated with me from the next world, and I with them. There are those who would ignorantly condemn this experience as necromancy, but the question is: “Was this God-forbidden communication with the dead?” The Bible says:
“There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that uses divination, an observer of clouds, or a fortune-teller, or a witch, or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or one who calls to the dead” (Deuteronomy 18:10-11 MKJV).
Another translation has the second verse this way:
“Or anyone using secret force on people, or putting questions to a spirit, or having secret knowledge, or going to the dead for directions” (Deuteronomy 18:11 BBE).
Had I been calling to the dead or seeking their advice instead of looking to God? Had I enquired into things that didn’t pertain to me or was I seeking the services of a medium or acting as one myself? I had no thought of communicating with anyone passed on; the persons came to me. Furthermore, they were asking forgiveness, sorry that they had sinned against me. I forgave them, and they made it known they forgave me.
Would devils do these things? One may say so, with the suspicion devils are there to deceive. How was I deceived for evil? I forgave, long-established anger left me, and I rejoiced in the Lord for cleansing me of bitterness I didn’t realize I had. If those things were evil, and devils did them, we need more devils and should welcome them with open arms.
Absence of body doesn’t determine the status of life and consciousness. I was dealing with the living, not the dead. Was not Uncle reading the Bible before he passed, rejoicing in what he was finding? Did I not see Dad immediately after he passed on, marveling at what God was doing with me? There was hope for righteousness with them, and God doesn’t dash hopes for righteousness – never has; never will.
Because Dad and Uncle had appeared to me, I wondered about seeing and speaking to so many others who had passed on. As I thought of them, this is what I saw….
A different kind of vision – more like an envisioning. I saw George Lynn at the gates of Heaven, trying to get in, but the gates were closed to him. He was insisting he was righteous, that he believed the Lord and the Scriptures, and that only by faith in the blood of Christ could he enter, but they wouldn’t let him in.
Some stood outside telling him to go away, rejecting him because, though he had right doctrine, he was trusting in his own righteousness, not possessing the reality of Christ’s righteousness. He was quite frustrated, perhaps somewhat indignant, but also confounded.
When he was alive, I tried to talk to him about the baptism in the Holy Spirit and the gifts. He wouldn’t listen and was distressed, regretful that I, whom he had led to the Lord, was deluded.
I searched out and called George Lynn’s widow in Red Deer to find out what had happened with him. She told me of George’s passing. He died a very painful death of cancer. This could be expected, seeing George had operated a trailer manufacturing business and was constantly exposed to the chemicals and sawdust. When I knew him, he would wheeze when he breathed.
Mrs. Lynn told me that George’s death was a great testimony to all those at the hospital because he took it without complaining or fear of death, constantly talking to everyone about their need for salvation. My question was: Why didn’t the Lord heal him? “No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.”
“If My people, who are called by My Name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14 MKJV).
Is God a liar, or were things not right with George?
Many years after my brother David had passed on, I saw him in a vision, working in what appeared to be a shipping place, putting boxes on a steel roller conveyor to be pushed along. He was happy, energetic, busy, and responsible, fulfilling his duties.
I perceived that after passing into the next world, Nestor Rushinka hadn’t changed from the time he visited us at Thorndale Apartments in Dauphin. He was still in a fog, with skepticism and hardness. I couldn’t talk with him; he wouldn’t believe me even now.
Another vision: Through a doorway, I saw Delores sitting in a room with other people, having what seemed like a Bible study. She was mentally working on things, wondering and questioning, quite sober and intense about it. She realized she had missed the boat in this life and was determined to find out how or why, in order to try to correct herself.
With these four “visions,” I thought that perhaps I was imagining things. I then asked the Lord about other departed people, hoping to get a glimpse of where or how they might be. I wasn’t given to see anybody else, and I couldn’t use my imagination to do so. Therefore, I don’t believe these things were imagination.
A reason I wondered if it was my imagination was because all these people seemed to be in circumstances and environments quite similar to those in this world. Truly, the next world is similar to this one in many ways, and in that world, there are many realms and many kinds of places, as there are here.
Very soon after these visions, I heard these words while taking a walk:
“First one must reconcile himself with his father and then he will be reconciled with his son.”
One hour later, Jonathan called from the farm. He wanted to come home and see me. This was highly unusual – like the moon dropping in the backyard. He was crying. He said he tried getting a ride with someone there who lived at Moon River, but the woman, Dagmar Kropek, our neighbor, said she needed to go shopping first. I said, “Go shopping with her if she will take you.”
“Thanks for the idea, Dad!” he exclaimed, ran out again, and succeeded. He was on the way home to see me!
I look back at how I have failed Jonathan. I wanted so much to do him good and to protect him, but I failed miserably.
It started with permitting the Vitamin K shot right after his birth. (Parents, don’t do that to your children!) We tend to think that the medical world of doctors and nurses knows what it’s doing. It doesn’t. What’s worse, pharmaceutical companies do know what they’re doing, and it isn’t good.
Then I let him fall on the stairs, though I was warned he would fall. (Saints, believe Him when the Lord speaks in a still, small voice.) Jonathan looked like he was in full control. Appearances are deceptive; the Word of the Lord holds true.
Once I failed to safeguard him when he stuck his leg in a rope handle on our wood box. He fell over and twisted his leg. I still haven’t forgotten the look on his face, as if to say, “Why did you let that happen, Dad?” He wasn’t even two years old. I could see disillusionment grasping his soul concerning me at that moment. (Be watchful, caregivers; injuries can happen without warning.)
While at the playground at about age three, he was climbing a row of tires, hung side-by-side, ascending. At the platform at the top, there should have been one more tire to fill a gap. We both had our doubts, but I didn’t do anything about it, and Jonathan fell to the ground, eight feet below. He cried; he didn’t seem to be hurt, but it wasn’t pleasant. (Pay attention to the doubts.)
We think playground designers know what they’re doing. After all, there are children involved and perhaps even lawsuits to face. No matter. Experts, specialists, professionals, executives, and bureaucrats are all merely people, with ignorance, weaknesses, oversights, foolishness, inattentiveness, carelessness, irresponsibility, and yes, criminality.
The world isn’t a perfect place, and those in it aren’t to be trusted. I guess that’s what Jonathan had to learn with me and I with him. It seems I had more disillusioning to experience than he. Who was I to think I could do things perfectly for him? None of us can ever take God’s place of protection.
When he was about four, I put him in a wagon and let him go down the hill of the road. I should have known better. All it took was one false move on the handle, which he used to steer, and the wagon tipped, sending him to the pavement, incurring a bruise and scratch on his head. (Try to anticipate the possibilities and risks and take precautions.)
When he was about six or seven, I had him help me do some landscaping on a warm day, not paying attention to the heat or the sun. While I could go for hours without water, I didn’t consider Jonathan’s needs. He didn’t say he was thirsty, didn’t drink any water, and got sunstroke or overheated and fell quite ill, with high fever, for several days. I was wondering if we weren’t going to lose him. (Pay close attention to the needs of others at all times.)
One day, we ate some melon that had been in the fridge for several days. He and I were sick from both ends for a day. (Waste is better than illness – toss it; better still, eat food while it’s fresh.)
I had idolized Jonathan. As I look back, I believe the Lord wasn’t pleased with my inordinate affection for him, and so I was oft confounded. We would see Jonathan continue to suffer for one or more of these incidents.
In discussing with Marilyn my encounter with Dad and Uncle Bill, I wondered out loud, “Why was Uncle with Dad? There could have been any number of people with him, like his son, David.” Marilyn replied, “Both were your fathers.” Surely! Uncle had been my surrogate father on and off for perhaps two years or more. I had to be reconciled with both, and they with me.
On January 23, 1998, I received that Archie and Cathie would be back. I knew that if that were to happen, they would be very different and there would be no doubt of their positions, motives, or attitudes, and unlike before, I would readily receive them with open arms. I had no bitterness for them, but I knew they had it for me.
Around this time, I was feeling that there needed to be time spent in prayer. On the morning of January 27, 1998, I knew Lois would have something to say to me. She called to tell me she received the night before that I was to fast for 10 days, and to be alone. Were these the 10 days to which Marilyn had referred? Was my time for departure from this world imminent?
As each day passed, I grew stronger in my belief that I would die physically. I recalled that Moses was taken alone. Was this part of my being “as Moses,” according to Marilyn’s prophecy? I didn’t mind dying, or dying alone, at all.
I considered that if I started my fast this day, it would end on February 6th, 88 days after Bob Gregson called me to tell me of his dream of the coming of the Lord and the reconciliation of the two persons. The number “8” signifies new things, a new creation.
The end of the fast would also be the 11th anniversary of my vision of the star hitting the earth. One could assume that the star would suffer damage, if not total destruction. In any event, if the star wasn’t damaged or destroyed, its trajectory would be rather altered, wouldn’t it? What awaited me? What would my condition and trajectory be?
Other timing coincidences: Going back from Bob’s dream to the last day of my last fast, August 14, was 88 days. Going forward from the last day of my last fast to the anniversary of Marilyn’s prophecy was 40 days. How could one put such dates together, with such significant events and so many factors apparently related?
Marilyn and Jonathan left with instructions not to call me. I would hear from nobody for 10 days. I decided to eliminate radio, TV, telephone, newspapers, and any profane or secular literature, as well as any other human contact for the full term.
Without planning such timing, I determined that from the day of Marilyn’s prophecy of September 24, 1996 to January 27, 1998, the beginning of this fast, was 490 days, or 7 X 70, and to the end of the fast, 500 days, or 10 X 50. Jubilee in Scripture, which came every 50 years, was the day when debts were forgiven, and all things were released and restored. Fifty days after Christ’s resurrection, His Spirit was given at Pentecost to indwell mankind. Jubilee was announced on the Day of Atonement, the tenth day of the seventh month, which on the Gentile calendar is July 10th (Leviticus 25:9-11).
The number “50” came to Marilyn, though she didn’t know why. I found that from December 17, 1997, the day of the prophecy of the man that troubled us to February 6, 1998, the end of the fast, was 50 days. It seemed that the prophecy had a double meaning, pertaining to some person, but also to the “man of sin,” the carnal nature referred to by the apostle Paul in 2 Thessalonians chapter two.
A curious note: It likely means nothing; however, I heard, or thought I heard, on the radio, just before beginning the fast, “The next 10 days will be trying, decisive, and/or important for Bill Clinton and his presidency” (words to that effect). Did I hear right? How much of a coincidence is that? Let statisticians declare it.
My days would be 10, or 240 hours, or 14,400 minutes! Fourteen thousand, four hundred days would be 40 years, a generation, 40 representing the end of flesh in Scripture. After 40 days, Jesus came out in power from the wilderness.
I was also reminded that to the church of Smyrna, Jesus said:
“Have no fear of the things which you will have to undergo: see, the Evil One will send some of you into prison, so that you may be put to the test; and you will have great trouble for ten days. Be true till death, and I will give you the crown of life” (Revelation 2:10 BBE).
I noted on December 28 that I had taken an important step to believing Marilyn’s prophecy. From then to February 6, the end of the fast, was 40 days.
Just before Marilyn and Jonathan left, Jonathan asked me a question, out of the blue: “Dad, what is half of seven?” The number 3½ has quite a significance in the Bible. Why did he ask that? Nobody knows, including him. I don’t recall if I had an answer. Did it signify unfinished business? The first half of the story or program? (Jonathan also wanted to stay with me.)
In the second day of my fast, I began to see my carnality. Where was the fruit of the Spirit in my life? Where were love, joy, longsuffering, peace, faith, meekness, and temperance? Whom did I love? Where was there ever a moment’s joy? When was I ever patient? When did I experience peace? When was I ever gentle or good? When did I ever believe?
I was always worried, fearful, anxious, troubled, vexed, angry – so angry – frustrated, discontented, and inconsolable. I fought, argued, criticized, demanded, and condemned. Temperance? Look at my food, TV, and alcohol consumption (when there was any), greed in money, stinginess, sexual conduct, and covetousness.
I realized it was only blasphemy to say I had the fruit of the Spirit at any time. Therefore I had never received the Spirit. Oh, visions, revelations, prophecies, yes. So had Balaam, Saul, Caiaphas, and even Balaam’s ass, true or false. “Lord, Lord, we prophesied in Your Name and cast out devils” …and He answers, “I don’t know you; go away.”
In my dream of 1972, I was wandering, searching and discovering nothing, least of all the Lord. Now He comes. Would the fast end as the dream ended, with the Lord coming, going, and I remaining lost? I knew I was lost; I was condemned; I wasn’t born again; I wasn’t His; I wasn’t received; I was rejected.
Who was that man walking with Jesus in the dream? When Jesus came in nine days, would He redeem me? Marilyn’s prophecy said so. Was she true or had she been deceived with me? In any case, the dream had to be fulfilled, not as I chose, but as God would choose.
I had no say, no rights, nothing. But I saw that I deserved punishment, total destruction. My sins and failings were over my head. Unless there was mercy, I was reprobate.
Could I ask for mercy? Certainly not! I was never, ever merciful. To the merciful alone, He shows mercy, but to the froward, He shows Himself froward:
“With the pure You will show Yourself pure; and with the froward You will show Yourself froward” (Psalms 18:26 KJV).
So I was condemned, according to Romans:
“Therefore you are without excuse, O man, everyone who judges; for in that in which you judge another, you condemn yourself, for you who judge do the same things. But know that the judgment of God is according to truth on those who practice such things” (Romans 2:1-2 MKJV).
And I read in the Book of Hebrews:
“Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful looking for judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.
He who despised Moses’ Law died without mercy on the word of two or three witnesses. Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy of punishment, the one who has trampled the Son of God, and who has counted the blood of the covenant with which he was sanctified an unholy thing, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?” (Hebrews 10:25-29 MKJV)
With whom had I fellowshipped or assembled? What was left but a “certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation” to “devour” me? But it was up to God.
I knew this much: I could do nothing and He decides all. I could only submit and accept whatever His judgment was. Did I hope for grace and mercy? Yes, of course. Would I receive it? According to Marilyn, yes; according to me, I didn’t see how or why. Yet, I hoped.
Must I believe? I’m tired of trying, having never succeeded. I’m dead if it’s up to me to believe; that’s all there is to it. If He gives me to believe, I live; if I must try to believe, I’d sooner take my chances catching the four winds of heaven in my fist. I’ve tried and utterly failed. That should go without saying, but saying it manifests my unbelief and proves what I say.
Do I know what to do? How to pray? No. Do I know how to praise or give thanks? No, I have nothing, nothing, nothing. I can only wait on the Lord. I think that as I fast from everything for nine more days, I shall go mad. I can only wait. Wait for what, for whom? For the Lord – nothing and nobody else. And He knows it. I take consolation that I wait for Him. Would I do so if it weren’t given me? Are not others in agreement? Indeed, it started with Lois, not me.
It just occurred to me that it will be an awesome thing to watch the last minute of the last hour of the tenth day approaching. Such has never ever happened to me. That moment holds the truth of everything forever!
Another hope I have: The Scriptures declare that children of darkness don’t know when He comes but the children of light do (I Thessalonians 5:1-5). Yet verse 8 speaks of faith and love, both of which I am utterly void.
He decides and, I’m told, has decided. What He has written, He has written. If this is true with Pilate, how much more with God!
I see a power, somewhat like radioactivity – it can’t be seen, heard, tasted, felt, or smelt, but it’s there, doing its work. In time, the results show. So it is with the power of God on a man. Jesus spoke to the men on the road to Emmaus. “Their eyes were held that they should not know Him.” But the power was there: “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us by the way, and while He opened to us the Scriptures?”
Readers, you’ll have noticed how I’ve gone back and forth, believing and unbelieving these past years. You’ll see much more of that in the pages to come. I’m very ashamed of it all and afraid to include much of it in this book. To see how I’ve been in such unbelief is so embarrassing, but I must tell it, in order to do you and Truth justice. I want you to know these things, the struggles, faults, errors, weaknesses, horrid unbelief, battles, and consequences. It’s been a bloody battle with unbelief. Continuing now…
In my journal, I wrote:
I recall the first dream I had from the Lord. Did it not end with the Lord coming and passing me by, while I was condemned? I recall the vision I had nearly two decades ago wherein Marilyn was in white, helping me in my struggles of life. Was she a guide appointed from above? I have no reason to believe otherwise. She was told I would be her husband; it happened. She received a vision wherein she was giving me drink – it’s been happening for years. And she was the one told what’s happening now – to name but a few proofs of her help to me.
Then my days ended when I cursed my appointed guide, telling her to “go to hell!” God said to Abraham and his descendants, “I will bless them that bless you and curse them that curse you.” This promise was for Marilyn, too, and I fell victim to the curse by cursing His anointed. Now it is hell for me; it is my loss.
She’s the one who always stood in faith, the one who tolerated patiently, loved as love is described in 1 Corinthians 13. She’s the one who has had the power of love and favor with others. What is the power of God? Love! That is the power that moves mountains, saves souls, honors God, and brings peace and victory. Love is the victory.
Marilyn, I rebelled against you and God. Now your work is done. You could do no more. In your vision, you and I were on the train. You jumped off while I remained on it, screaming, as it sped to destruction.
“Some have entertained angels unawares,” says the Hebrews writer, admonishing us. I’ve entertained an angel nearly all my “Christian” life. I’ve been married to one! Look what I’ve done to the angel the Lord sent me! See therefore what I’ve done to the Lord – “Inasmuch as you have done it to the least of My brothers (sisters), you have done it to Me.”
But now I must believe the angel’s last words to me, those of Marilyn’s prophecy of September 1996.
In the shower this morning, I cried bitterly, realizing my sin, my whole life of death and torment upon me and upon others because of me. Marilyn, you once said that I would be crying (you saw me crying at the end, saying, “I’m sorry”). So it is. I’m dreadfully sorry, especially to you, but to all the others, too – Lois, Trevor, Mark, Sean, Chris, Nathan, Paul – believers and unbelievers. I’m absolutely indebted to all – sorry, so sorry.
I used to read the Bible all the time while Marilyn would read much less. Yet she had the faith, love, hope, power, wisdom, and favor. Why? Because I, as a carnal man, trusted in the letter, having nothing else, but she has had the Law written all along in her heart. I thought I had the Book, but she had the Book and the Author.
Marilyn, I write to you now, not expecting to see you again; I don’t really know. Do you remember receiving that I was a “lost soul”? Another term would be “son of perdition.” That’s the man in my first dream, who was condemned. Marilyn, I’ve been a lost soul all my life.
But notice: Besides Lois, I too received those verses in Deuteronomy 13 on myself as a false prophet! Why? Yet, was I not that man of faith on November 10, 1989? I have always so wanted the perfect will of God. Going back to my childhood, I wanted to be with Him, identifying and even suffering with Him, and I thought it was fulfilled, at least in part.
Do you remember I once said, “Lord, even if I have to be the anti-Christ for Your sake, if that is what Your will is for me, so be it”? It looks like that is also fulfilled.
Universalism – sure salvation for all, the reconciliation of all things and persons – including Satan. Remember Peter Marshall defining Satan as the “personification of man”? Shall not the corruptible put on incorruption, having been sown in dishonor and raised in honor and glory? Shall not the mortal put on immortality, sown in weakness and raised in power? That’s what the Bible says. My point is that though I am utterly corrupt, is there not hope for me?
Marilyn, seeing as how you’ve been so right, I take hope for the last. Lois, my dream agrees with your visions and prophecies, and I presume (rightly or wrongly) that Bob’s dream speaks positively for me. The way I see Bob’s dream now is that those two persons are you and me, Marilyn – I with the black rose, you accompanying me to the Lord, Who comes to receive me (Who but He knows why).
Faithful, ministering spirit in the Lord, receive your reward. Bless you in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. God be with you always. May He continue to empower you to serve, fight on, be courageous… and to be of good cheer always, knowing that your end is more than heart could wish or mind could imagine.
You are on the throne, reigning in heavenly, regal splendor, at ease, in wisdom. Beware lest these words carry you away (God forbid). Be faithful and always, as you have done, humble yourself, even as a ruler, and God will be with you to establish both you and your throne, that golden throne, in mercy, truth, and justice. And all shall honor you, woman of faith, woman of peace and righteousness, woman of God.
Marilyn, you said the time would go quickly in these 10 days. It is. A sixth of my time is already gone and that hour draws so near, so fast. I haven’t gone for walks. I don’t feel I should be in contact with anyone, even to greet or wave. You and Lois expected I would return to let you in on what happened and how it is. I believe the Lord will give you that.
How did I know it was 88 days back from Bob’s call to the day I ended the first fast? I had numbered the days and saw #89 as the day Bob called. We had already known there were 88 days to February 6. Aren’t these things amazing and wonderful?
When you left, I really didn’t know I’d never see you in this life again, but now I know, and it’s so sad. But Jesus is our resurrection and life, and one day He’ll wipe away all the bad memories and tears and we’ll laugh and sing together, shout for joy, and be able to enjoy one another fully. Though I really don’t know this, I surely, dearly hope it.
The Lord heal you of all your hurts, all of them, especially those I’ve caused.
Page 3 PART TWO – Pentecost to Israel (cont.) Particle – My First Letter of Spiritual Criticism When we left the Baptists after being rejected because we had received the Spirit, we returned to the Alliance church. It was now quite different in spirit or atmosphere. Granted, we were in a new spiritual realm within, but I could see that, compared to what the congregation was like before their new building - relatively more humble, alive, and busy - now they were subdued. The people had lost something in their construction and expansion. In my pre-Spirit baptism days as a repentant convert to Christ, I had admired the Alliance pastor, Ernest Regier. I saw him as a meek and humble man. After I received the Spirit, however, I realized that he didn't have the spiritual traits of meekness and humility, that what I had seen was only an attempt of the flesh to be godly or Christlike. I was now seeing through him. This was at least the fifth pastor in the first few months since being baptized in the Spirit, whose heart had been partially revealed to me. I now wrote my first letter after receiving the Spirit, and I told Mr. Regier what I saw. Why didn't I tell him personally? I don't know. Was it fear or lack of confidence? Maybe. I did think that perhaps he wouldn't listen to me if I tried talking to him, and I had a better chance of expressing myself more accurately and completely on paper. The following Sunday, he and his wife made a beeline for Marilyn and me when...
Page 13 PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.) Particle – Husbands Set Apart for Children I recall how Howard Benson remarked that when their first child was born, Howard felt neglected, if not abandoned, by Lois. Consequently, he said, he went and found other ways to occupy and fulfill himself, apart from his wife. I recall Jim Puls confessing in the 70's he was miserably depressed. I believe it was at a time when he and Ilene just had their first child. After many years, I realized the depression I had been feeling since Jonathan was born was due to a major portion of Marilyn's attention transferred from me to the one who needed and deserved it so much more. I didn't realize what was happening at the time. Had someone explained it to me and I understood, I think I would have found it significantly easier to cope with. But then, perhaps the poems I wrote a month after his birth might not have been written and wouldn't be serving others. (I don't believe they only expressed my feelings about what was happening in that situation, but how our lives were in our spiritual pilgrimage.) Particle – Consummate Inventor of the Wheel I often wonder why I've had to learn many things the hard way, re-inventing the wheel again and again. Where were the parents and grandparents, the teachers and counselors who could have helped me so much? There were none. Why didn't God provide them? Particle – Jonathan Falls Jonathan was just over a year old when he climbe...
Page 18 PART THREE– Israel to Bernalillo (cont.) Particle – Prophecies Pour Forth Prophecies began to come forth for several days, pages of them. Regretfully, I don't have the record now, but I will report what I remember. The Lord said, “You will have nothing to fear. Can stubble stand up to a fire? Your enemies will be as stubble before a fire. If stubble can stand up to a fire, then your enemies will be able to stand up to you. The fire that I send is an invincible foe to your enemies, but a friend to you and to the righteous.” He said, “I have put a sword in your mouth to execute judgment and to rebuke the enemy, and nothing will prevail against you. Many will fall because of the sword I have placed in your right hand. Take the land; wrest it out of the hands of the wicked; make it a good land, clean and pure - make it My land. Smear it with the pitch of claim. Where you set your foot, it is yours. As My foot steps in your foot, and as your foot steps in Mine, so the land is yours and Mine. When they come to Me, you will know it, because they will come to you, because you are in Me and I in You. I am finished winking.” (This is the second time He said this to me, the first being in 1977.) “I have been waiting a long time for this Day. It is the great and terrible Day of which the prophets have spoken, great for the righteous and terrible for the wicked. I am glad it has finally come. I have been hurting and grieving, but now I ...