PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.)
A journal entry:
What a struggle I’ve had! Cast Sean out – don’t – do – don’t. Let it happen – it’s finished – let it happen – it’s finished. Before my face, Marilyn and Sean act quite cocky and impudent, confident that they will prevail, likely that God will prevent me from interfering with them and their plans. The Bensons tell me that Sean has refused to obey anything of my letter, believing I have no authority in God’s will to require anything of him or of Marilyn.
Today, on June 11, I realized three things, as Jonathan and I took a walk to the river:
One, I said, “Lord, I don’t know what to do!” I immediately heard, “Would you hesitate to cast him out if you had others capable of doing the work?” I knew the answer was, “No.”
Three, I recall the proverb Paul received for our situation years ago: “Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease” (Proverbs 22:10). At the time, we applied it to Archie, but it didn’t witness to me that Archie was the man.
For the record: Now I know that it applies to Sean and that in throwing him out, contention will go with him, and yes, strife and reproach will cease, not instantly, as an axe chop, but as a setting sun. We will all marvel. Marilyn will have her eyes opened and be ashamed. We will wonder that we were so blind to Sean’s influence, yet will know the Lord has done all these things for us.
Four, I’ll be able to come to the farm again and feel at home, not to work… to help, if needful, but to visit, eat, and be free with the others. Yes, this is long overdue or, if I know anything of the Lord and His ways, perfect in timing.
Five, When at last this afternoon I decided that Sean had to go, I was once more singing in my spirit and do have praise for the Lord again. Righteously or otherwise, let the Lord judge.
Sean has had seven days to obey the letter sent to the farm. He has decided to ignore it. The Bensons report nothing has changed. His heart has been made specifically manifest. Marilyn can’t see the farm operating without him, yet says it is the Lord doing it. If the Lord is doing it, then He can manage without Sean.
June 11, 2000
TO: Sean and the farm
Sean, you have rejected my legitimacy and authority as a man of God, a true prophet coming in His stead, sent to you and to others. How? You have despised my prophecies, letters to the farm, particularly “Man of Sin 1, 2, and 3,” and others as well. You prefer to believe the lie. You have rejected many things I’ve said to all of you, writing them off as products of unbelief, pain, and darkness. You not only agreed with, but also orchestrated and presided over, my severance from the people of the farm, my banishment, and my death, and so it had to be.
You have rejected my legitimacy as a spiritual father in that it is I who begat you in the Spirit by the laying on of hands, having cast out devils to which you were in bondage, having taught you many things of the Spirit and the Kingdom, whether directly or by Marilyn, who took those things which were mine of God and which I gave to her freely as I had received them. There is no honor from you towards me as a son to a father – an understatement.
You have rejected my legitimacy as a believer in Christ. How? You have made it a policy and practice to judge me after the flesh, after my infirmities, and have generally concluded that I have very little if anything of spiritual value to offer. Again, the things of the Spirit I have said you have despised, not so much in content (though that, too) as application, serving your own ends.
You have rejected my legitimacy as a simple elder, one old enough to be your father even if not in the Spirit. You know no boundaries, no limits, having no regard for the sake of righteousness or for the Lord or for the sake of others. You may appear respectful and considerate toward others from time to time, but you base your conduct and choices on what is expedient for you and your ends. Your motivation is not love of God and neighbor, nor do you walk by faith, as do saints.
You have rejected my legitimacy as Marilyn’s husband in that you have treated her as, and assumed her to be, yours. By your own lips, twice, I have heard you declare that you view her as your wife. Furthermore, you have had your intimate conversations with her in your liaison, as though she were your lawful mate. You even declared there was no reason to apologize or repent of your sexual fantasies of her. You have rejected our marriage as legitimate. Tied in with that, unavoidably, I think, you have rejected my legitimacy as my son Jonathan’s father and have presumed to begin to “father” him in my stead.
You have rejected my legitimacy as owner of the farm and all that it contains. You have not been altogether discreet about the fact that you haven’t wanted me there. You have even judged my phone conversations with the Bensons troublesome and illegitimate.
Most recently and pronouncedly, you rejected my right to determine whom I should choose as the authority there and how I should require you and others to conduct yourselves to one another. “The letter is not of God,” you say. Even if it was my own letter, not inspired or directed of God, you have rejected even my right to speak as owner of the farm.
You have, in short, rejected my legitimacy as a person. To you I have been an unwelcome pest, much as a cockroach or fly. You have rejected my right to live. You have declared me persona non grata, unfit for this world, which you have presumed to take over and to reign. I think you would deny some of this. It seems you have even had your pangs of guilt and doubts, wondering why you weren’t having fellowship with me. I have voluntarily given it from time to time, in spite of your stance, but you have, in the end, laid the cause of lack of fellowship at my feet and have chosen the path you have chosen.
Absalom did the very same with his father, David, whose legitimacy he rejected as a prophet chosen of God, believer, king (ruler of the people), father (his father), elder, husband (of the concubines he ravished publicly), and person (he sought his very life). “Beloved enemy, bitter friend,” you say of our relationship? Indeed, but by your choice and not mine, yet I suppose, as with David, for my past sins and ways.
At this moment, I have a bitter woman, defiled by you. But the Lord has given us this promise: “Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease.” Archie was not the scorner. Though he had his sins and problems, he believed and received according to his faith. Neither did contention cease – proof that he wasn’t the scorner.
You are the scorner, and with you will go contention; strife and reproach shall cease, and peace will come to us at last. This I have received of the Lord and I go on record for all. Therefore, the sooner you go, the better for all of us. Woe to us if we do not expedite the command of the Lord in this matter as we ought.
While you have been industrious, studious, and responsible at and for the farm (giving you the benefit of the doubt), you have either forgotten or have never recognized me as a legitimate factor in the whole equation, as discussed above in various aspects and offices. You have rejected God Himself: “He that rejects you rejects Me, and he that rejects Me rejects Him that sent Me.”
To you I was as good as dead, and you even once declared to others quite some time ago, “The sooner he’s gone, the better.” The Pharisees, too, were zealous of the Law (though never keeping it themselves where it didn’t suit them), fulfilling many and diverse religious works, not considering that their dedication and works of sacrifice were an abomination to God because they weren’t serving Him from the heart as they pretended.
“The fool has said in his heart, There is no God.” You are that fool. For you to be so presumptuous and impudent as to declare in the face of the husband that his wife is yours, and that in the midst of a group of believers, is to proclaim yourself the fool of fools. Can there be any greater fool? In rejecting me in all those ways as stated above, you have plainly said, “There is no God; I am a God unto myself; I AM; I do as I please and legislate as I please, being God.”
What does God do with such a one? What do you expect me to do? Believe and humor you forever? Even nature, both physical and spiritual, cries out against such perversity and abomination. Sooner or later something must give. It has been later because of both the purposes and longsuffering of God.
When Archie was cast out, my question to those who insisted on it was, “For what sin? What charge do you bring against him?” They had none. Much like Pilate presiding over the judgment of Christ, Whom they condemned because they wanted their own way. But you! If there was ever sure foundation not only by the Law of God, but by all that is good and pure and holy and honest and just and righteous and true and godly for, not only expulsion but execution, it’s with you and your presumption, impudence, arrogance – your unapologetic wickedness. Christ was cast out and Barabbas was embraced when it should have been the other way around. Was Archie innocent? I don’t think so, but compared to you, he was an angel. He believed; you don’t.
You once said I had called you a bastard. I denied it, not realizing I had. Did I do it subconsciously, inadvertently, yet in truth? You insisted I had called you a bastard. Perhaps I had, and for good reason. You have certainly despised chastening in any form, determining that you alone have the wisdom, faith, and spirituality to decide right and wrong, good and evil.
What choice do you leave me with in your unrepentance, but to purge the leaven that breeds contempt for God’s order, authority, and righteousness, condemning them and displacing them with your own personal brands, yet in the Name of the Lord and of faith, and accusing me of same?
I heard nothing but what I expected on the June 4th meeting that Marilyn requested. You were calculating and crafty as usual, answering in vagaries and generalities, avoiding incrimination justly yours, yet condemning yourself with your own mouth. And who can possibly say that my actions have been hasty, passionate without reason, uncompromising, impatient, intolerant, without longsuffering? Only a wicked, blind, and unrepentant fool would say so. You and you alone leave me no choice but to ask you to leave. With your offences, you ought to be thankful to leave alive. You don’t deserve it.
So you tell the others that they must think for themselves. That is the essence of what the serpent said to Eve. I come, in the Name of the Lord, saying, “Here is what God says; here is how He sees things; this is His Law and will,” but you say, “Don’t listen to him; think for yourselves, else you are his sycophants.” I inform you that they are thinking for themselves. They could just as easily choose to believe that you represent the Lord as you claim, and not I.
Lois and Trevor both believed you for a while, until they were delivered by the power of God resting in me. They, without force or threat, chose to think for themselves. Yet they aren’t thinking for themselves. Lois, for example, decided to seek out the Lord’s verdict and received, finding that I did indeed speak as of the Lord.
“It is right what man does in his own eyes,” is your motto, provided they agree with you. “Think for yourselves!” the serpent declares, promoting the essence of sin – independence of God.
For all that, if there were repentance, surely I would forgive, because I want to, and hold no bitterness, nor does any other person there hold bitterness. There is not one person there that wants to see you go that I’m aware, yet they all (except my wife), even Jonathan, agree that you must go and go as soon as possible.
There need be no damaging, inconsiderate haste; on the other hand, there must be no lagging. Let’s get this over with. You need to go, according to the command of the Lord. The Lord will take care of matters as He always has and shall, in ways beyond what He has in the past, His hands having been partially tied until we all have repented of our idols and unbelief, turning to Him, loving, believing, and obeying God.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. ”
Sean had his way, demanded it, and would go out as a devil, according to the prophecy recorded in December 1997. I knew he would despise my command to leave. He encouraged Marilyn’s rebellion against me and contempt by all towards me. He was an evil influence against all authority and God. He knew no boundaries. He disrespected any and all authorities and despised any relationships not expedient to him.
He spoke of faith and walking by faith but had the faith of devils, the lawless kind, independent of God and His will. He practiced the principles of faith to gain his own ends. He was the serpent.
What is a bastard? One who refuses chastening. Sean refused any and all correction. He is a bastard, not a son. Speaking as a man, Sean made himself indispensable to us, taking control of all things. “All these kingdoms will I give you if you will fall down and worship me.” Sean, in nature, demanded honor and respect of all and had it. What a price I paid for “these things and the glory of them,” the organic farm, the image, and the business.
For these earthly things we have been robbed of peace, joy, favor of God, and prosperity. We have forsaken the Law of God, countenancing adultery, having the Name of God blasphemed. And all the time, the words of Jesus in reply to Satan ring true: “You shall worship the Lord, your God, and Him only shall you serve.” It is time to say, “Get out, Satan!”
When I went to the farm those four times in one day, speaking to everyone there, I saw Sean opposing me. He was the core of opposition in all evil. He was finished.
To Lois, Trevor said, “Victor doesn’t have to worry about the farm; we can handle it.” He also said that in kicking Sean out, our marriage would be restored and, moreover, changed to something we never had, a harmony wherein she took her proper place. Then God would begin to do good things.
All this came to me probably about the very same time that Trevor and Lois were speaking. Did I believe Trevor’s claim of being able to handle the farm? No, except that the Lord would enable them. I had no confidence in them, but had to have it in the Lord.
Jonathan informed Marilyn I was set on kicking Sean out. She broke down and begged me to reconsider. She then asked for time, “At least until the strawberries are done in September.” I said I would consider, but not promise.
She called my letter to Sean and the farm one of condemnation. She likened Sean to David and me to King Saul. I said that may be so, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to do what I had to do. But has God Himself ever condemned me and told me I was finished? Indeed, He told me I wouldn’t be dying, and I didn’t have an evil spirit, as far as I knew, quite the contrary.
And if I was as Saul, why would Marilyn have prophesied I would have a ministry like that of Moses? Can one imagine giving King Saul to meet with Jesus on the mount of transfiguration to discuss what must be accomplished in Jerusalem? Even David didn’t have that privilege!
The Lord taught me much these past few years, dealt with me, delivered, exposed, chastened, blessed me, and opened my eyes. He didn’t do these things with Saul, Nabal, Cain, Esau, Absalom, Ishmael, or Balaam. And David didn’t treat Saul the way Sean has treated me.
Marilyn’s reaction only told me I was taking the way of the Lord. She now told me she had a journal and she didn’t want me reading it, yet she always insisted on reading mine, even if I told her I wished to keep it to myself. She said that she didn’t want anything to do with me, that her life has been Hell with me, that I’d made it so, especially this past recent while, and that she wished to go her way. I said she was free to do as she chose, and I wouldn’t so much as reason with her.
Marilyn asked my permission to call Sean and talk to him about my decision (the Bensons hadn’t yet been told). She said he was “sick” and considering his options. Now they knew I meant business.
On June 12, I made the following entry in my journal: “I am back from the dead to do as I will with my enemies and my will is to replace false authority with true, feigned godliness with real, self-righteousness with Christ’s, the enemy’s rule with God’s. Mark reports to me that Sean has gone to fasting. This reminds me of Joab fleeing to the altar and grasping the horns thereof to save himself from Solomon.”
Marilyn told Jonathan that he was responsible for Sean’s expulsion because of his prophecy to kick him out! He immediately came to me, asking if in the Bible there were examples of where God caused men to prophesy words they didn’t want to prophesy (he told Marilyn that he didn’t want Sean to go, but that he stood on his prophecy).
I red to him about Balaam. “See, Mom? Here’s an example of where people had to prophesy something they didn’t want to.” I marveled at his wisdom and unwavering. “I’m a million percent sure, Dad, that Sean has to go.” It is the Lord, not Jonathan.
As at other occasions, Sean told Trevor that he was not their enemy, that they saw him as such because of my influence, and that they needed to think for themselves. I realized that while that sounds so good, it is yet another diabolical doctrine. To think for oneself, in and of itself neither good nor bad, can be the essence of sin, of independence of God. While independence of man can be a good thing (though not always), if a man of God comes and says, “Here is what God says; here is how He sees things; these are His Laws, and this is His will,” then it is an evil thing for man to think for himself instead of believing and obeying God.
To think for oneself is the essence of what the serpent was saying to Eve: “If you eat from this Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, your eyes will be opened, you’ll be as God, knowing good and evil.” In other words, “Who needs God, or who needs to listen to Him, if you can be like Him, knowing what He knows? Think for yourself!”
“In those days there was no king in Israel. Every man did the right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25 MKJV).
I wondered, “Have I laid down my life, or have I resisted all the way and finally caved by kicking Sean out?” Then it occurred to me that with the threat of my wife leaving, the farm going down to nothing, and the possibility of losing Jonathan by kicking Sean out, I was indeed laying down my life, though it may easily be interpreted as the opposite.
If it’s true that God has surely been limited in blessing and will now be free to do so with our obedience, we’ll see it eventually, even shortly. He’s faithful and swift to reward and to replenish.
On the morning of June 14th, Marilyn wanted to talk and did so for over an hour, asking me to just listen, which I did. She thanked me for it, having seemed to express all that she desired.
She awoke wanting to talk about not throwing Sean out, saying that doing so was insanity. She wanted a month for Sean, and if I didn’t see fruits that would satisfy, then he would go. Otherwise, things could be settled by this Sunday (four days hence), she would come home, leaving the farm to me and the Bensons.
She saw me as Nabal, an entirely unreasonable fool, and herself as Abigail, and she felt entirely justified in withdrawing if I kicked Sean out. She saw herself as more noble than Saul’s son, Jonathan, who remained with his father and died on the battlefield with him.
She saw Sean as wise, virtuous, innocent, victimized, loyal, faithful, caring, understanding, and justified in all his ways. She saw me as unreasonable, foolish, unbelieving, striving, guilty, “insane” (referring to the “suicidal” foolishness of throwing Sean out), selfish, unjustified, a false prophet (she didn’t believe my original prophecies for them all), and unappreciative of her, Sean, the Lord, and His blessings and provisions.
Oh, Sean makes mistakes – everyone does (I was surprised to hear that unusual concession from her mouth) – but in essence, you, Victor, are a mistake. And she would only say Sean makes mistakes or has faults when he has admitted to them, though she would never make that admission to me. If he says he’s wrong on a minor point, she agreed. If he were to tell her he’s God and come in secret to judge me, she would believe him. If he were to say, “Come with me; we are meant to be man and wife; forget and leave Victor,” she would believe him and do so immediately – of that I had no doubt.
I had cause to doubt Marilyn would believe Sean, being that she, of all people, was familiar enough with the Scriptures and God’s Law, but I’d seen her cast those away as soiled menstrual pads in His Name and in the name of faith. And I could do nothing to change that.
Trevor called, feeling to encourage me to stand strong and not waver or compromise because of perceived or threatened consequences. Mark received a letter from Kumiko Konoshita of Japan, who received words a few weeks before and held back till the night before. They seemed to be meant for our situation. She had to relay them. “Don’t let that which you are waiting for control you.” Kumiko also said that if there was something that I needed to do, do it without hesitation or debate.
On June 15th, I woke up troubled. Marilyn threatened me with leaving, and the farm would be left to us incompetents. I couldn’t see it. I might have been speaking and acting out of passion, reacting to Marilyn’s attitude and stance, thus kicking Sean out for the wrong reasons.
I wrote what came to me, but when the chips were down, I questioned, doubted, and feared. “Am I doing what God wants? Have I truly heard from Him? I have to admit that I don’t honestly know.”
When I talked to Lois and Mark, I told them I would prefer to leave things, to let Sean and Marilyn have their way, to not use force or exert my “authority,” which was perhaps not true authority. What was this – an ego issue? Maybe.
I saw Marilyn as a witch, but I also suspected that I couldn’t fight her on her terms. I thought I needed to let them have their way, their relationship, whatever they choose it to be, the farm management – just let them go, and Jonathan, too. Stop hanging on, forcing, insisting, striving. Was I copping out, or was I delaying dangerously? I honestly didn’t know. Was I now lost? I didn’t know. Unbelief stunts, stumps, and stuns.
I decided to talk to Sean, as Marilyn repeatedly asked of me. She wanted me to hear where he was coming from. We talked and I listened and heard. For the first two to three hours, he spoke of what he believed and how he saw things. In the last one or two hours, I saw and articulated to him what the problem was – knowing no boundaries, not recognizing and acknowledging the inherent rights of various persons, authorities, and institutions.
“Whose wife is Marilyn?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied.
“Therein is expressed your problem. If you had an understanding of God’s ways, Law, and authority, you would know whose wife she is. In presuming she is or may be yours, you commit adultery, not recognizing the boundaries of God established by the institution of marriage and its vows taken by the participants. That is lawlessness. If you don’t have a problem with the commandment, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’ neither do you have a problem with, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’ This is iniquity – lawlessness.
“The children of iniquity, curiously enough, believed they were walking in faith and righteousness, and when calling on the Lord to let them in, they were told, ‘Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity; I never knew you.’ They had claimed powers and gifts of the Spirit and great works in the Lord’s Name and all was for nought. So is it with you, Sean,” I said.
I then pronounced a blessing on him to the effect that the Lord would enlighten him on His ways and laws and authority, delivering him.
In our midst have been fulfilled these words:
“And he shall speak words against the Most High, and shall wear out the saints of the Most High, and plot to change times and laws. And they shall be given into his hand until a time and times and one-half time” (Daniel 7:25 MKJV).
On the night of June 15, 2000, Lois had two dreams, one of rebuking Marilyn, and another of taking her over her knee and spanking her. These dreams came to pass the next day. It was 88 days before that I had the vision of Lois shooting the bear dead.
On June 16th, we went to the farm to bring matters to a conclusion. Sean was once more called to repentance, as several times before, but there was no response. Marilyn was fighting, interfering, and interrupting. Lois rose up and put her in her place with a sharp rebuke. Surprisingly, Sean agreed with us in our judgment of Marilyn, contrary to her. What now?
It was 40 days before, on May 7th, that I addressed Sean as the enemy of all that is godly and good. Mark felt as though something concluded, and I felt that the power of evil was broken, though not convinced that Sean wouldn’t be cast out. I hoped otherwise.
When going that day, I had expected to send Sean packing. Did I delay too long? Had I disobeyed the Lord? Did the enemy win because I faltered under Marilyn’s threats? Maybe. Trevor said he felt something die the day before, and the Benson estate, over which he and Mark were battling in court, was now down the drain.
“Lord, have I failed You and lost all? Has the enemy prevailed by my delay and hesitation? I was warned by Mark, Trevor, Kumiko, and perhaps Jonathan. I don’t know what to think!”
I awoke on June 17th full of fear. Out loud, I cried, “I blew it! I failed! I disobeyed! Even as Saul, with sacrifice instead of obedience (1 Samuel 15)! I was commanded to kick Sean out long ago but Marilyn protested, pleading that I at least talk to him, which I did, the day before yesterday, the day Trevor said he felt all went dead.”
I called Lois at the farm at 5:30 AM. Marilyn answered. I told her I lost everything because I had compromised, listening to her and talking to Sean. It was all gone. I was supposed to sacrifice everything. Instead, I halted and hung on, listening to the one to whom I gave control decades ago (her). Ironically, I was often castigating Paul for giving control of himself to women.
Lois called back and disagreed, pointing out where Trevor and Mark were coming from, saying that we had to take time, that God doesn’t rush, that I had revelations and words on Sean, and that she had dreams on Marilyn that had been fulfilled. Mark had a good sense of conclusion, and Lois said she was thankful for what was happening.
In the evening, Marilyn returned home, happy-go-lucky, like she got her way and continued in the driver’s seat. If anyone had been a scorner, I need only look to her. She surely seemed to enjoy seeing me in torment.
On June 20th, Lois revealed that she had received a Word for me on Saturday the 17th. It was: “The next time you are talking to Victor, tell him everything is right on track, and he has not denied Me; quite the contrary.”
On June 21, 2000, after long last, Trevor and Mark received a verdict in the Court of Queen’s Bench in Calgary, concerning their father’s estate, terminating Carol Reesor’s unacceptable and unpleasant hold as executrix on assets that were rightfully theirs. The female judge declared the mess of high legal costs to be Howard’s fault because he foolishly hired a lawyer as executor of the estate, which he shouldn’t have. She gave the boys a small remuneration for their trouble and effectively removed Reesor’s power.
Reesor had spiritually, legally, and financially opposed us at every turn, utterly refusing to cooperate with us or understand our position. While we weren’t entirely satisfied with the fact that she had milked the estate, we were glad it was over. Carol Reesor was also relieved, I think, though grudgingly so. That morning, before court, she suffered a break-in at her home – her car was broken into in her garage, with some items stolen, so she wasn’t in the best of form in court against Trevor and Mark. Heaven was against her.
Who says there is no God?
The boys had prayed as to what to say to, or ask of, the judge. They decided to declare to her that whatever she decided, they would accept as the judgment of God in the matter.
Page 12 PART NINE - Signs of New Times (cont.) Particle - Forrest Expelled After leaving us for a few days, Forrest called, having misgivings and doubts about everything. He was returning to the former thoughts with which we had found him, and he believed we were leading him astray from God and interfering with his calling and ministry. We visited more with Forrest, and I was losing it with him. The whole affair became contemptible to me, and I ceased trying to conceal my misgivings. Particle - More Tidbits At this time, Paul and I were completing his paper, The Reconciliation of All Things and a Diabolical Doctrine on Jewish worship practices. Mariko was now being addressed personally and corrected. There was conflict between Mark and her. They were talking about marriage. I told them that if they wished to marry, fine, but there would be hell to pay for it (speaking as things then stood between them). Paul had written a letter on marriage, encouraging all to remain single, if they could bear it, as with the apostle Paul's counsel to the Corinthians: "Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you did not sin; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you. But this I say, brothers, The time is short. It remains that both those who have wives should be as not having one" (1 Corinthians 7:27-29 MKJV). It was rather ironic tha...
Page 4 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle - Words Come to Pass In talking to Ric and Sharon later, they told me that after they bought the trailer, they discovered an unexpected cost of necessary insulation in their attic, and Sharon fell on her open dishwasher door, having nothing to grab to break the fall. I thought of the words in the poem, "You will fall, make no mistake, and there'll be none to catch you." These words, while fulfilled in a minor way with Sharon, will be fulfilled in a major way with the harlot church that deceives and abuses the entire earth. Particle - Unbelief Alone Hurts A bit of back-tracking: We fled Winnipeg in a trailer in 1981 and were on the road for perhaps 3½ months, not knowing where we were going, ending up in Westlock. We left Westlock in 1982 and were on the road in our Casa Rolla for about 4 months, again not knowing where we were going, until we found a home in Lethbridge. Then moving into our Holiday trailer near the end of August 1983, we fled Lethbridge, heading to the U.S., not knowing where we were going, until we reached Bernalillo, New Mexico in October. We didn't know what to do or where to go from there. Finally, nearly six months later, the Lord spoke, returning us to Lethbridge in April. We continued to live in the trailer until September 20, a total of another 13 months, when we moved into 104 Bluefox. In all that time of trailering, we were often anxious, asking God and ourselves where ...
Page 9 PART ELEVEN - The Issues of Life to Troublous Times (cont.) Particle – Another Healing On the Sabbath, May 19, 2007, Marilyn and I began the day with a battle. I was speculating the worst that would happen because of my doing something ignorantly - setting up the sprinkler system valve boxes without canceling the factory-preprogrammed, 10-minute time cycles, thus risking burning out the valves (something I knew nothing about). Marilyn then went into her usual defensive mode and preaching, unable and unwilling in her fear to acknowledge any blame. I suddenly realized that my habit was always to assume the worst outcome to mentally prepare for it with the hopes I won’t be so disappointed if there were disastrous results. If things turned out not so bad, I could rationalize and console myself, saying, “Oh well, we only lost $3000; we could have lost $5000.” While I had sensed this tendency and habit, I had never fully realized, acknowledged or confessed it. I could do so today. I also realized that Marilyn’s tendency to overreact to my overreaction was with purpose. Yes, I was guilty of bracing for the worst but was she right in throwing gasoline on it? No, but her infirmity in such cases, which are numberless, served to bring me to realize my infirmity. Therefore, her infirmity has been a tool in God’s hand to deal with my problem. She may be wrong but He’s always right, working both good and evil for ultimate good. Conclusion: The faults and infirm...