PART SIX– Harvest Haven to Surprise Visitors (cont.)
During this time, I was stirred to cry out to the Lord, and I received a Word from Him:
“Thus says the Lord: I have carried you and cared for you from your mother’s womb. Long before you knew Me, I knew and formed you. Before you were, I purposed to have and to hold you because I chose to do so. There was nobody to stop Me and I have never changed My mind. When you were yet in your sins, I purposed your future with everything in it. I chose your paths, your every step. I chose those with whom you would have to do, both your friends and your enemies.
I prepared you for the tasks to come, not so that you would gain the world’s wealth, but so that you would gain Mine. I want you to have the very best there is. Do you not want the very best for your son? Are you not My son?
Have I not spoken to you and blessed you with many good things? Have I not shared my heart with you? Have I not shared intimately with you? Have I not chastened and scourged you when you’ve needed it? Or have I let you go to do whatever you wished even as does the world, which doesn’t know Me?”
Lord, Father, I’m so afraid. Do not my writings testify or bear witness of myself, as in Here Is the Way It Is? Am I not haughty and proud, dogmatic, critical, self-righteous in those writings, in my thinking, attitude, and conduct towards others? Am I not foul-mouthed, uncharitable, impatient, harsh, demanding, and judgmental? Lord, I even look at women. I envy those with financial or occupational success. I now envy those who have leisure time, those who can go camping or read a book.
Lord, I hated the quiet and now I hate the busyness. I fear the costs, expenses, and our inexperience with the farm. Lord, I’m afraid, yes, terrorized by our circumstances.
I know You’re able to do anything, but I’m at the place now where I almost do not believe at all… so removed in unbelief and covetousness from You.
I read the Bible and find nothing. I pray and get even less. I try to thank and be thankful but to no avail. I try to slave everybody, both those with us and those without and find myself calling the farm a “money pit.” Lord, I am but a heathen in all my ways. I don’t know what to do. It seems my flirtation with money in stocks has destroyed me.
Yes, I have healed, cast out devils, prophesied, and had visions. Your gifts have been there, but have You not said that even those with Your gifts would perish, be banished from You?
Lord, I’m full of should-haves and shouldn’t-haves – Kerri’s house, leaving Raymond [an entirely unreliable worker] to do the corral, the slow weeders, the kind of weeding (approach), giving Cathie freedoms and unwise responsibilities, listening to Archie about the farm – I’m sick of regret. I chafe at my circumstances. I see everyone tired, working… for what? Marilyn cries; we have all cried.
I talk to Harry and Alice Koppert, Bob Gregson, Brenda Pierson, and everyone else only to be deemed an idiot. I seem to be forcing myself on others, and they all hate it. Robinson is another one – Bob Fife, Sean’s parents, name all.
Lord, am I not deceived in my covetousness and love for myself?
“If you can receive this – if nothing else, receive this, that I am with you and that I will never leave you or forsake you. When the chips are down, I will always be there for you. When all is lost, I will be there. You haven’t chosen Me but I have chosen you… not to cast you away or destroy you, but to redeem you.
You are afraid, perplexed, entertaining doubts and misgivings. ”
Lord, what is Your judgment on me now?
“I have you in the palm of My hand and nothing can separate you from My love for you. ”
Father, Lord God, do I write all these things out of my own imaginations or are you speaking to me? I can’t honestly tell, though somehow I believe that what I write, I feel within and am assured of it. Yet, I would like to know “tangible” things to be fulfilled. Lord, is there such a thing as a progress report? If so, I expect I have utterly failed.
God, help, if You will. Otherwise, I have no hope. Help, Lord. Maybe it helps to cry and tell my heart and feelings. Maybe it is evil to express doubt. I’m almost certain Marilyn will hate me for it. God, I die, yet I insist I’m righteous when a stranger comes along. What do I do? Jesus, I don’t believe I love You. Isn’t that the problem – that I don’t love You? No doubt.
I question whether this revelation occurred in this year of ‘96 or earlier, perhaps ’93 or ’94. Though it was discussed more than once, the purpose of this account is to discuss the original time it occurred with Lois. Though there were inklings of this particular matter previously, there was a time in 1996 when my attention was focused on these passages in Scripture:
“And this is the witness of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ And he confessed and did not deny, but confessed, ‘I am not the Christ.’ And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ And he says, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you that prophet?’ And he answered, ‘No.’ Then they said to him, ‘Who are you so that we may give an answer to those who sent us? What do you say of yourself?’ He said, ‘I am “the voice of one crying in the wilderness: Make straight the way of the Lord,” as the prophet Isaiah said’” (John 1:19-23 MKJV).
I was drawn to the words, “Are you that prophet?” There are those who believe Jesus Christ was that prophet, especially when they read Peter’s words at Pentecost:
Acts 3:20-24 MKJV
(20) And He shall send Jesus Christ, Who before was proclaimed to you,
(21) Whom Heaven truly needs to receive until the times of restoration of all things, which God has spoken by the mouth of His holy prophets since the world began.
(22) For Moses truly said to the fathers, “The Lord your God shall raise up a Prophet to you from your brothers, One like me. You shall hear Him in all things, whatever He may say to you.
(23) And it shall be that every soul who will not hear that Prophet shall be destroyed from among the people.”
(24) And also all the prophets from Samuel and those following after, as many as spoke, have likewise foretold of these days.
There’s also Stephen’s testimony:
“This is that Moses who said to the sons of Israel, ‘The Lord your God shall raise up a Prophet to you from your brothers, One like me; you shall hear Him’” (Acts 7:37 MKJV).
Here are Moses’ words, to which Peter and Stephen referred:
Deuteronomy 18:17-19 MKJV
(17) And the LORD said to me, “They have spoken well what they have spoken.
(18) I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brothers, one like you, and will put My words in His mouth. And He shall speak to them all that I shall command Him.
(19) And it shall happen, whatever man will not listen to My Words which He shall speak in My Name, I will require it of him.”
As you can see, the translators (or publishers/printers) of the KJV and MKJV capitalize the word “prophet” in Deuteronomy, apparently believing the reference is to Jesus Christ (other versions do not). However, that is only their belief or interpretation. It is not what the Bible says.
In fact, the Jews were asking John about three personages – Christ, Elijah, and “that prophet.” Jesus was and is more than a prophet, though He was that too, but if the Christ, which He was and is, He could not be “that prophet.” John knew the legitimacy of three distinct references, but denied he was “that prophet,” Elijah, or Christ.
John didn’t correct the Jews as though they were mistaken about the Messiah and “that prophet” being two separate identities.
Who then was “that prophet”? There was something else occurring to me. I called Lois, gave her these verses without saying anything else, and asked her to tell me what she saw. She red them and soon called back with amazement and said, “You are ‘that prophet’.”
I said, “That is what I was receiving, Lois.”
Two witnesses (Lois reminds me that Archie also believed I was “that prophet”). But I found it difficult to believe such a thing. I suspected I was being quite presumptuous, with a touch of egomania for even thinking such a thing.
Perhaps I might have been afraid of the enormous implications, though I was also excited that such a thing could be true of me. I left it, thinking, “I really don’t know; I can’t see it. Why me? How can this be?” So I left it.
Arnold Willms was a nearby farmer who professed evangelical faith in Christ. He did some backhoeing and grain harvesting for us. We had some talks about the Lord. Arnold was blunt with me. He said he was very concerned about the presence of a cult in the neighborhood. He was disturbed about some writings I had given him, one of those being Counterfeit Christianity and some others, possibly The Case for Coming Out and The Church. As far as he was concerned, I was a cult leader, little different from David Koresh and Jim Jones.
There was no reasoning with him. He had no answers for my questions and no Scripture to refute me or back up what he was saying. He was religious, self-righteous, stubborn, and ignorant. I told everyone that the Lord would deal with him.
One day, I was annoyed with Chris, who wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing with Arnold while digging a hole for our irrigation. I was firm with him, and had been much harsher with him and others. Arnold promptly latched on to that incident and repeated it several times to others thereafter, making it sound as though I had verbally bludgeoned Chris.
I didn’t know at the time that Arnold and his wife, Clara, were the ones Cathie went to stay with when leaving Harvest Haven. After a while she left his place and stayed at Harbour House, the YWCA women’s shelter.
Andy owned the acreage on the southern boundary of our farm. When we first moved there, he saw his chance to take advantage of us. “Seeing you’re going to haul some old cement foundation away, do you mind if I dump mine off with yours?” (He didn’t offer to cover any of the expense involved.)
His horses, mule, and llamas ate the boundary fence posts, broke down our fences, broke into our orchard, and ate the bark of our fruit trees. When we asked him to help us repair the fence (we didn’t demand that he do it all himself), he refused, claiming it was our responsibility. We later found out it was all his responsibility, but knew that to get him to fulfill it was to expect blood from a stone.
He claimed that our cats were catching the chickens he had penned in his yard. When we gave him strawberries to more than compensate for a chicken allegedly killed by our cat, he wasn’t content.
One day our dugout accidently overflowed and his dugout, being in a low spot, was consequently flooded. He raised a ruckus and threatened to do something (I don’t recall what), though nothing came of it. We may have given him more strawberries. He incurred damages, paid for nothing, and complained about everything.
We discovered Andy attended River of Life Church led by senior pastor, Bill Calderwood, and assistant, Todd Atkinson, I believe. We asked him why he went. He indignantly replied, “Because I accepted Christ as my Savior!” I thought, “Wow! So that’s it, is it? We are scum because we don’t go to church and he therefore reserves the right to treat us as dirt. That must be some church he goes to that can aid and abet him in such attitude and conduct. In the true church, the pastor should be boxing his ears or kicking him out!”
When he planned to sell, he made strong efforts to sell his property to us.
Sean, Kerri, Ben Hafichuk, and Lois were visiting us at Moon River one weekend. (Kerri was back from Florida and was taking the cooking curriculum at Lethbridge College, while Paul remained in Florida to sell her late grandparents’ house that Kerri’s grandmother had bequeathed to her.)
As we sat at the table, I was down and struggling with something (I don’t recall what), and did some complaining or expressed doubt or unbelief. Sean promptly came out with a railing criticism of me before all. He unreservedly expressed contempt for how I was talking.
Marilyn immediately and openly agreed with Sean, and seemed rather impressed with him and his position. I was slightly taken aback by her stance, too — slightly because it wasn’t uncommon for Marilyn to disagree with me, but this instance was different; there seemed to be more going on than I was aware of, but I couldn’t comprehend it. I believed I had correction coming to me; I shouldn’t have been complaining, and so I acknowledged I was wrong. However, the Scripture declares this:
“Do not sharply rebuke an elder, but exhort as a father, and the younger ones as brothers…” (1 Timothy 5:1 MKJV).
It was one of the first, more obvious, signs of Sean’s conduct toward, and utter disregard for, any person, authority, or status. I said nothing, knowing I was in the wrong. I also said nothing because I believed that Marilyn had godly wisdom and that I should be slow to question it. When she spoke in a spiritual context (which she did in this case), I listened, not that we didn’t have our disagreements at various times.
Within the hour, I developed a deep sadness, loneliness, and emptiness. It wasn’t the rebuke that did it. These conditions of Sean’s attitude and Marilyn’s standing toward Sean had been developing over weeks, if not months, but it seemed to come to a new threshold now. I headed to the back yard, broke down, and cried, something I had not done for this kind of reason, a rejection of sorts, in a long time, perhaps since a child.
Marilyn came out to see what was happening. She assumed I was crying because I was losing her. I likely was — I don’t know. Her answer was, “Victor, I have to be available for others. I have to go and serve the Lord. You have to let go of me.” I believed her, but there was something that didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t understand, though I knew somehow that I would have to let it happen, however it happened.
Again, I must relate something for which I’m very ashamed. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. How uncontrolled in my spirit I’ve been, how angry, and how loose with words!
One day, I was in the old shop at the farm, and I was trying to talk to Marilyn on the phone. The cooler unit was running noisily in the background. Things were hectic; I was hurried and harried, frustrated, and confounded. I don’t recall what Marilyn and I were discussing, but it seems that I couldn’t hear her above the noise and she had to repeat to me what she was saying. As she repeated, she became impatient and angry, or so it certainly seemed to me. I got very angry, said, “Go to hell!” and hung up on her.
I remember Erin came to me minutes later, saying Marilyn was on the phone wanting to talk to me. I said to her, “Tell her to go to hell!” Erin was surprised, shocked even, and gave a nervous giggle.
“She wants to talk to you, Uncle Victor.”
“I said, ‘Tell her to go to hell.’”
A young, frail, emotionally-disturbed transient fellow in his late twenties, professing faith in Christ, came to work on our farm from Streets Alive, a drop-in center for the homeless in Lethbridge. He told us he was the great grandson of a founder of Prairie Bible Institute in Three Hills, Alberta.
Paul Iddings was a good worker, somewhat appreciative to discover our farm and make our acquaintance, and so decided to stay with us a while. Paul seemed to have some fixation on homosexuals and how terrible they were. He spent no little time on the subject. I tried addressing him on this matter, and our discussion didn’t seem to offend or change him.
However, when he discovered that we didn’t believe in the trinity, it offended him so much that he could no longer remain with us, not that we strove with him or required that he believe what we believed. He simply could not, in his conscience, it seemed, associate with us because we believed that Jesus Christ is the One God, the Almighty. I was surprised that the pagan trinitarian doctrine was so important to him and, as I would discover, to many others. (See The Trinity and Jesus Christ Is God).
Before we parted ways, Paul Iddings, seeing jobless people at the Lethbridge Soup Kitchen, approached their tables and gave them the good news that there was work for pay available to them, even if unskilled. Besides some pay, he pointed out the healthy benefits of exercise, fresh air, good food, and sunshine. There were no takers. He was rather surprised.
Furthermore, he was reprimanded by someone in charge for approaching the street people and offering them work. How evil of him (I speak tongue-in-cheek)! We hadn’t sent him on such an errand — it was solely his enthusiastic initiative — but when he related his experience to us, we were all annoyed, not at Paul, but at those frequenting the soup kitchen. So beggars choose to get for nothing; forget about working? I thought, “Let them starve, then!”
A neighbor friend of Lois Benson’s, Lisa Labuhn, told us of a time when she worked as a volunteer at the Lethbridge Soup Kitchen. She was shocked when the people rudely demanded things of the staff. She quit, thinking it insulting that the beneficiaries should be so contemptuous of her and others working there without pay, freely offering help and charity.
I thought, “We have given to the Lethbridge Soup Kitchen, but why should we? If the people being fed feel we owe them a living, forget it, especially if they’re able to work yet refuse to do so. Then adding insult to injury, they complain when we don’t do things their way in their judgment? Even if they can’t work, who gives them the right to demand and to bite the hand that feeds them?”
We may or may not have the right to expect gratitude, but we’re certainly under no obligation to help the scorner and sluggard. Let them scrounge where they can for themselves. And let it be said this kind of thinking is so un-Christlike of me. But here’s what the Bible has to say about such:
“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10 KJV).
That is Christlike, coming straight from His Word!
Kerri had unrealistic ideas of many things. One of those was how provision for the farm would come. She insisted that we didn’t have to be concerned about trying to make the farm pay for itself, that all we had to do was trust God and He would provide. While what she was saying was certainly true, I didn’t find the thought even inviting, much less tempting. I didn’t have a witness that she was coming from the right place.
What she was advocating could well have been a matter of exercising faith, but I just couldn’t imagine taking the approach she seemed to be suggesting and still being provided for. When asking her what we should be doing in the meantime, she had no ideas or suggestions.
The bad part wasn’t her having an opinion, but her not submitting to authority and what the Lord was doing and what we were asking of her as part of the community. She therefore couldn’t learn and wasn’t corrected of unreality, which was soon to lead her to one of her fantasy ventures, her bakery and café, “Neighbors,” in Great Falls.
Danny was always lying and doing things as though he deliberately devised harm and ruin. When asked to wash eggs, the others would often find eggs tossed out with the wash water. There was a time when I saw him carelessly washing the chicken waterers and resentfully dashing them to the ground (he wasn’t aware I was watching).
I could never trust him to tell us the truth. It was bad enough having to deal with the known facts; it was too much for me to have to establish them when they were already known to some who concealed them. One day in trying to get to the bottom of a situation, I lost it with Danny, commanding him to come to my chair and lay face down to the floor as I sat at the table. He lay down prostrate but wouldn’t put his face down, though I told him to do so more than once. With my sock foot, in anger, I pressed his head down to the floor.
I didn’t intend to give him a nosebleed, but it happened. I felt really bad about it ever since, and at the time Marilyn was very angry about what I did. Archie, of course, wasn’t at all happy about it, but it was done. I later apologized to Danny and Archie, but the apology seemed to go nowhere; the offense seemed unforgivable, even to me. It really bothered me and has ever since.
Preston Manning finally honestly, faithfully replied to the letter I wrote him about testifying of Jesus Christ in all places, including Parliament. His letter was dated September 23rd, 1996. I am impressed with it and wish to include as much as possible here. He writes:
Dear Mr. Hafichuk:
Earlier this year, you sent a letter to Sandra and me urging me to proclaim my Christian faith more publicly in the course of my political work. I have read your letter, and apologize that it has taken me so long to reply. I appreciate the thought behind your letter, and wanted to take the time to give it my full attention.
You made specific reference to the recent controversial debate over the government’s gay-rights legislation, Bill C-33. I have enclosed the text of my own remarks in the House of Commons during final debate on this bill, and I would draw your attention particularly to pages seven and eight.
To address the general concern expressed in your letter, I would like to describe the dilemma for Christians like myself in national politics. First, I am the leader of a political party, the majority of whose members and supporters do not share my particular Christian perspective. For every member who elected me to be the leader of the party because of my Christian views, there were probably many more who elected me in spite of them. And, undoubtedly, the party will someday be led by someone who does not share my Christian perspective at all. I am also a member of the Canadian Parliament, a secular institution, the majority of whose members, including the government, do not share a Christian perspective.
I am therefore not in a position to impose my Christian perspective or views on either the party or the Parliament, though I am free to make arguments from a Christian perspective and endeavour to persuade others to accept those views. In other words, I am in the position of endeavouring to function as ‘salt and light’ – the function Christ told his disciples to fill at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:13-16).
The danger for Christians in this position is, of course, that we may lose our saltiness or hide our light under a bushel, unless constantly renewed and encouraged to do otherwise. I believe that was the intent of your thoughtful letter, and I want to thank you for taking the time to write to share your perceptions with me.
Preston Manning, M.P.
Leader, Reform Party of Canada
I appreciated Mr. Manning’s reply but, at the same time, I wasn’t satisfied, though perhaps I should have been – his perspective seemed reasonable. I didn’t have more to say at the time, as I recall.
I would say more now. While I understand his described dilemma, I have some questions. He said that because of his political position, “I am therefore not in a position to impose my Christian perspective or views on either the party or the Parliament….” I would ask, “Are we ever in a position, as Christians, to impose our perspective or views on anyone?” I don’t think so. It’s not a matter of imposition.
I gather Mr. Manning believed I was suggesting imposition. Perhaps it may be perceived that way, perhaps legitimately so. People to whom the prophets and apostles were sent also felt imposed upon. “Who gave You authority?” the rulers of the Jews asked of Jesus. “They turn our world upside down, thinking to change our laws and defy Caesar,” were common accusations of people and rulers against the disciples.
I believe the dilemma is that in democracy and politics, we encourage people to vote for men, which means we must please men to get elected. The problem is that men are antagonistic to God and His Law. A politician hoping to get elected can’t faithfully serve two masters at the same time, though wishing and trying to do otherwise.
Read in our section, “Thy Kingdom Come”.
Does not the dilemma boil down to deciding on whether we should vote, on the one hand, for men to lead us (as Israel chose a king to lead them like other nations around them) or, on the other hand, for Jesus Christ to be our Leader? Can it be both? I’ve come to the conclusion it can’t be both, any more than we can mix oil and water. Are our leaders anointed believers in God, as were David and few other kings of Israel and Judah? If not, our trying to mesh the carnal with the spiritual is partly, if not substantially, why we have the problems we have in this world – we’re voting not for God, but for men.
We’re trusting in men to guide, protect, and provide. God wants to do all those things for us, and much more, not indirectly, but directly. “Vote for Me!” He cries, and our response is, “Lord, we are voting for You! We are voting for men who promise us good things and who mean well! And we go to church. We are voting for Republicans, supporting the ‘Moral Majority’. Is that not voting for You?”
No, that is compromise. We must vote for God directly. I believe that if any man is walking wholly in Christ, he must of necessity come to that conclusion. I must acknowledge, even concede, however, that God has His men in various places for various purposes, even unbelievers, be it in politics, business, or whatever. But now it’s time to sound the call to total, unabashed, public commitment of all those naming the Name of Christ, to declare His Name everywhere.
After all, the Scriptures speak of all men’s kingdoms going “the way of all flesh,” to be replaced forever by the Kingdom of God. Men have had their turn and amply demonstrated their utter incapacity to rid themselves and the world of evil. It is high time God had His turn. Is this not the only solution? These are the final days of Nebuchadnezzar’s image (Daniel 2) – time for the faithful to get on board.
Mr. Manning did speak of being salt and light. I believe his example is a godly one, and if his influence were the influence of all men, our world would be so, so much better. However, perhaps we need to consider that we have come to a crossroads in the history of mankind, where we pull out all the stops. How about it? The Muslims are doing it for their Allah and their Muhammad. Think about it. May the Lord God raise up mankind for righteousness’ sake, once for all.
On September 24, 1996, there came forth a prophecy from Marilyn that would plunge every one of us into a bizarre and trying experience that would rearrange our lives permanently, both within and without. It would purge some of weaknesses and impurities, while removing others altogether. We were about to be tempted by the One to and by Whom I prophesied, “You are He that divides us as wood and casts us into the fire.”
From henceforth, the words from Marilyn would be referred to as “the prophecy.”
I was at the farm, and Marilyn called me from home. She sounded disturbed, saying she had something to say to me. She told me she had heard from the Lord that He was going to take me and that I would be given a ministry like Moses in the next world. In other words, she said I was going to die – physically.
Why was the Lord taking me? She didn’t say, except that He had a great plan for me, as with Moses. We understand that Moses did have a glorious ministry in the world to come, manifested in this realm at the transfiguration, almost 1500 years after his death. It is also recorded that he was taken because he had offended when striking the rock for water and failing to sanctify God before the Israelites. For that offense, the Lord wouldn’t permit Moses to enter the promised land in this life (Numbers 20).
Marilyn’s words hit hard, not because I was afraid to die; they were just such a surprise to me, and suddenly it seemed it was all over for me… so soon. Why was I not permitted to see the development of what was happening with us all or the fulfillment of many prophecies I had received? I had heard nothing from the Lord about this, and neither had anyone else, but I believed Marilyn and her interpretation of what she heard; I trusted her spiritual integrity and comprehension.
I also believed Marilyn’s physical interpretation of her prophecy because I felt I had overstepped my bounds in so many ways, with anger and with harsh, if not criminal, words to everyone, like telling her to go to hell. I was troubled, abusive, and consumed with money matters.
There are some words of Paul to the Romans with which I could identify:
Romans 2:3-9 MKJV
(3) And, O man, the one judging those who do such things, and practice them, do you think this, that you shall escape the judgment of God?
(4) Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, and the forbearance and long-suffering, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?
(5) But according to your hardness and your impenitent heart, do you treasure up wrath for yourself in a day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
(6) who will render to each according to his works;
(7) indeed to those who with patience in good work are seeking for glory, and honor, and incorruptibility, everlasting life.
(8) But to those who indeed disobeying the truth out of self-seeking, and obeying unrighteousness, will be anger and wrath,
(9) tribulation and anguish upon every soul of man who has worked out evil; of the Jew first, and also of the Greek.
I knew I deserved to die, and so I accepted Marilyn’s words and understanding as from God. But why would one who deserved to die be appointed a glorious ministry such as that of Moses?
When Archie first heard the news I was physically dying, his reaction was one of unbelief. “No! I don’t believe it,” he declared. But as I believed, he believed, and so did everyone else.
Paul recalls that I told him to believe it was physical – as a commandment and not an option, which was why he said he went with it. He believed at first it was a spiritual matter, not a physical death.
Perhaps it wasn’t to be a physical but a spiritual death. That would make much more sense. I would be judged (“slain,” if you will) and would become a new person. However, Marilyn insisted it was a physical death, and trusting her apparently righteous judgment, we believed her. She also expected the Lord to take me in a matter of days, so we notified Trevor, who was out of town, Paul, who was in Florida, and Mark, who was in Japan.
John Schussler paid us a visit. John was a bachelor neighbor of ours and owner of Bridge Berry Farms a mile and a half south of Harvest Haven. John didn’t believe we’d succeed as organic farmers because he believed the conventional agricultural line that organics could never make it and because we were a small, 80-acre operation. He was ever watching us to see what would happen.
I told him what I had just heard from Marilyn. He was attentive and marveled somewhat. Opening up, he related to me an experience he had in the hospital years before. He told me they gave him anesthetic in preparation for an operation. He had a traumatic reaction to it and, as a result, had a near death experience.
He said he was separated from his body and could see it from above the operating table. He saw the medical staff scrambling to revive him. Wherever he was, he didn’t want to return to the earthly life, but a voice loudly proclaimed, “It’s not his (or your) time yet.” In other words, John had to go back to the world he just left. The medical staff revived him and he came to. I believed John’s story, whether true or made up.
I also told Clarence Halma, an organic farmer supplying our store with some vegetables and turkey, that the Lord was taking me. Of course, these two farmers didn’t know what to make of it. They were wondering, “What’s going on here?”
They were the only two farmers I told. The dream of 1972 was being fulfilled over 24 years later.
Page 3 PART TEN - The Issues of Life (cont.) Particle - Dream: Marilyn Discovered and Confronted From my journal: Last night I gave Marilyn a hug before bedtime, but when I slept, I had a terrible dream of her, which I believe represented her true feelings. In the dream I told her that she simply wouldn't be happy until she married Sean (she was very miserable). She blew up, came at me with her fists, crying and screaming, then went away to slash her wrists, resulting in blood on the carpet and floors. Particle - Had it with Marilyn I've now had it with Marilyn; I am simply done. She can do as she pleases, but it won't be with me. I also know that Jonathan is one with her and he goes too. I can't accept her any more as she is, whoever may be at fault. I don't know what else to do, but I refuse to allow her to substitute sacrifice for obedience and submission any longer. Particle - The Fifteenth Eviction for our Faith On May 19, 2002, Mark, Ingrid and I went to the West Raley Hutterite Colony. The colony invited Mark to interpret for some visiting Japanese Hutterites in their celebration of Pentecost, which they observed in their way. As we met with them, it was a bit peculiar if not humorous to see Japanese people dressed in black Hutterite garb with hats, scarves, beards and all. The meeting was with them and about 15 to 20 women and children from West Raley. A woman near 70 years of age was ruling the meeting while the men of the colony wer...
Page 7 PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.) Particle – George and Gerry Croteau We had a slightly challenging time contacting George Croteau in Saskatoon. His name wasn't in the book, but his father's was. His father said George was very fussy as to who could talk to him. He had sheltered himself away, preferring not to talk to anyone. His father had tried pleading with him, to no avail. He gave us George's number, against his son's instructions to keep his number confidential, likely hoping we could help him. His father informed us George's wife, Gerry, had divorced him. The last time we saw George he had paid us a visit at our country home near Prince Albert in 1976. Gerry finally packed it in with George and we were told it was a nasty divorce. George crashed, big time – a major nervous breakdown. We found him in a cheap, unkempt apartment, watching TV, lying half naked on his bed. He meticulously tape-recorded every word we spoke, asking us to speak slowly; he declared he would analyze and classify everything said and done. He claimed he would produce a monumental, comprehensive work, even greater than the Bible. He had created a world of his own, one of delusive self-importance, an escape from his unpleasant reality. What we saw we deemed to be essentially self-pity and bitterness. George hadn't treated Gerry well at all. With her leaving, he began to mistreat himself. We tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't hear it. Yet again, we found our trip w...
Page 13 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle - An Almost Hair-Raising Experience While Marilyn and I were visiting Paul in Great Falls, we took a walk to the Magic Mill, which was in a mall. As we passed through the double-door entrance, a middle-aged couple was leaving. I was a bit uplifted in spirit at the time and, as I momentarily set eyes on the man passing us, I noticed that he was very likely (and perhaps gingerly) sporting a toupee. Though he was a stranger, I felt like saying, lightheartedly and sincerely, “Hey, nice hairpiece you have there!” Inside, we immediately met Al, a hairdresser standing at the entrance to his salon. He was smiling like Carroll's proverbial Cheshire cat that had just swallowed the canary, yet he somewhat nervously looked beyond us as he watched the couple we just passed leaving the mall. Paul knew Al, so we decided to say hi. Al could barely contain himself. It turned out he was so relieved and proud of a fresh-out-of-the-oven accomplishment. He just had to express himself to someone, and we happened to be the nearest, soonest available people. He came sauntering over and said, “I finally, finally finished a super hard-earned deal on an expensive hairpiece. Lots of sweat equity in that one! I feel like celebrating!” I asked him if it was the couple that just left. “Yes, it was,” he replied, surprised. He anxiously asked, “How did you know? Do you know him? Did you notice something?” Barely able to hold back from bur...