PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.)
Gene Knorr called weeks before, testing the waters, asking how things were with us and how business was. Because business had increased, I told him so. “Well, that’s normal for business to grow the longer it’s around,” he replied. I suspected he was hoping we were falling apart for not listening to him. But I thought, “Yes, I guess it’s normal for a business to grow as people get to know the business is there.”
A few days ago, Marilyn said that she was thankful and that the Lord was bringing business. Repeating Gene’s thought, I said, “It’s natural – many businesses and other things grow after a time of labor and pain for both believers and unbelievers. We shouldn’t assume anything special is happening for us.”
The Lord cut off the business abruptly, dramatically. Then last night, when Marilyn reported the sudden and strange drop, I went to bed and in the night the Lord showed me why. I was the offender, unthankful, not giving the Lord the glory, taking things for granted, and repeating the words of the enemy.
The Lord went on to show us more. He showed us that He is in everything, present both in time and space, in all things, deliberately, actively upholding all things. Nothing is to be taken for granted – not business growth, not income, health, or so much as a single heartbeat or blink of an eye or flutter of a bee wing. He “upholds all things by the Word of His power (Hebrews 1:3). “I Am That I Am.” He is.
“And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist” (Colossians 1:17 MKJV).
Our farm, its business and all, is floating on air. It is held up by God through faith. Others have what they have in spite of their unbelief (God is merciful to both the righteous and unrighteous, the good and the evil, the believer and unbeliever), but we who believe are learning to have what we have by faith; He requires it of us, unlike of others.
Confessing my unbelief, the Lord promptly restored the business.
Six days into her fast, Lois called, hoping I would have something to say about it because she was having her doubts about going on. I did. I told her this fast is “for keeps,” and that she needed to persevere in it until she knew she was done. Although Sean had suggested she fast, she informed me that, now, he and Marilyn were against it.
The reason for her fasting? I had said Marilyn’s prophecy was false, strong delusion from the Lord. She didn’t know what to believe and couldn’t tolerate it anymore. She said she had to know, not from Marilyn, not from Victor, but from God. She thought she had once heard not only that Marilyn’s prophecy was of God, but that it was God. She had to know.
She also said that she was out of control, particularly with Sean. Things were closing, but not, I expected, without one big, final, nasty bang, and that from Marilyn, with Sean’s participation. They were so convinced of, and committed to, their aspirations, feelings, and dreams, which they believed to be of God, but which were His strong delusion. Well, the Lord deludes and He enlightens. He alone can do what is needed.
I shared Merlin Carother’s book with them. The Lord was alerting us to praising and thanking Him for everything. We will and do already have the victory in all our trials and tribulations in acknowledging Jesus’ Lordship. By thanking and praising Him for what was happening to us, we were fulfilling the words of Romans 10:9-10:
“Because if you confess the Lord Jesus…” – We acknowledge that He is doing everything that is happening, that He is the Author and Controller of it all. In other words, He is Lord, not in title only, but in actuality.
“…and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead…” – We confess that He is also over death – how much more loss and failure.
“…you shall be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth one confesses unto salvation” (Romans 10:9-10 MKJV). – By faith, victory in and over anything is guaranteed.
These verses are not merely an expression of an initial encounter with the Lord at conversion, they are a description of the saint’s continual life of faith to the very end.
Sean once adamantly told me to shut up while talking on the phone. This was in the presence of the others. Now he railed on me, telling me I was speaking “crap” to Trevor. Knowing Trevor was hiding away, I had been telling Trevor he couldn’t sit on the fence forever, that he would have to make a decision. I didn’t spell out the decision or the choices.
What right did Sean have to speak to me that way? Let’s say that Sean was Abel and I was Cain. Would Abel treat Cain that way, or Jacob Esau, or Isaac Ishmael, or David Saul? I don’t think so. In fact, I know David didn’t speak that way to Saul. He didn’t dare, in spite of the fact that Saul sought to kill David. David saw it as God’s job to deal with Saul, which is what happened.
Here was Marilyn, loving and publicly choosing Sean over me as her husband, and Sean declaring to me and to all that Marilyn was his wife. She told me that the Lord was taking me to a great ministry as that manifest of Moses on the mount of transfiguration. And Sean was going to talk to me this way? It made no sense.
God even sent an evil spirit to torment Saul, and what did David do? He served to soothe Saul’s torment by playing his harp. Even if I were as Saul, Sean had no right to speak to me that way. Had the Lord sent an evil spirit against me? Was I a wicked man? Neither Marilyn nor Sean would say so, quite the contrary. Indeed, I’d been tormented, but what was Sean doing? Was his conduct as that of David? He treated me with utter contempt.
Surely my prophecy of him over two years before was drawing near to fulfillment. I hoped in the Lord that He would grant me to deal justly with Sean and to forgive his offenses. His hour drew near when he would be humbled. I also perceived that I couldn’t talk to him. He was unrepentant and convinced he and Marilyn were so right. He had become a law to himself. This angered me, yet I rejoiced for what the Lord was doing. Saul didn’t think, feel, speak, or do toward David as I did toward Sean.
God is good to me. He has given me to praise Him and give thanks, encouraging me to accept whatever I must for His and righteousness’ sake. He’s showing me what He’s doing. Not that He hasn’t been showing me things all along – I’ve just been too hard and unbelieving to receive – so utterly unbelieving it boggles the mind. These things I write partially in code in my journal so that Marilyn will not see them, so fearful I am of her wrath, but here they are:
One, the Lord is delivering Lois, and she will be victorious.
Two, Sean will be exposed.
Three, The Lord controls both sides of the battle and coordinates them for His purposes (even as He showed me in the battle visions).
Four, Trevor will not be in agreement with Marilyn.
Five, I will have spent 3½ years in subjection to evil, darkness, and isolation. At the end of that time, I will not die, but be restored in newness.
Six, I’ve been worshipping not Jesus Christ, but the man of sin, by seeing myself as Cain, Ishmael, Esau, Balaam, Nabal, and Saul, men exemplifying the flesh.
As David’s own son, Absalom, tried to kill David and take his kingdom, even defiling David’s concubines in the sight of all Israel, so Sean has been doing to me. He plots to take all that is mine. David wept for Absalom when Absalom was killed. My vision of crying for Sean as he lay dying tells me that I am as David and Sean as Absalom, a vain usurper and patricidal murderer.
In my darkness and confusion in believing Marilyn, and as elder over Sean, I saw myself as Saul and Sean as David. Now I see that I am as David and Sean as Absalom, David’s son. As Absalom, Sean has persuaded the people his way. He has determined to usurp my position and authority with all those with us.
As with Absalom towards David, Sean has shown no shame or mercy in his doings against me. As Absalom, he has defiled my marriage bed. He has openly criticized, severely rebuked, and treated me as one of his subjects before all. He has condemned Lois, Mark, and Trevor for talking to me, saying, “You should be talking to me.”
Why did David have an Absalom? The Bible says it was because of his sins. So I have an Absalom because of my sins, and the chickens have come home to roost. Yet, though the Lord judged David for his sins, He spared him. God also has spared me, forgiving me. He granted David repentance, and He has granted me repentance. Absalom, however, He destroyed. So will it be with Sean.
Jonathan came home with an injury, saying he had tripped and fallen, a stick poking his eye. It continued to get worse. I called people for advice and felt something happening. He went to bed, eye light sensitive, eyeball aching, and lower lid growing redder as time passed.
Jonathan awoke the next morning and came to me confessing that he lied to me. He had been cutting wood with his hatchet, and a piece flew up and hit his eye. I asked him why he lied. Was he afraid I’d be angry? “Yes.” So I asked him why. I discovered he had been showing off to the neighbor’s kids, the Den Hertogs. “They liked to watch me,” he said. I had been warning Jonathan of boasting and showing off.
He awoke with a sore eye. I awoke thanking the Lord for the situation. Almost immediately, following that confession and his confessing and apologizing to Mark for giving him a nosebleed with his head, the eye began to recover marvelously. He was now fine.
Today, March 7, 2000, Lord, on this 1260th day since Marilyn’s prophecy (3½ Hebrew years), I praise and thank You for what is, not so You would change it, but acknowledging Your will and accepting at Your hand all things. “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you,” and, “Rejoice forevermore,” and, “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.”
“Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me; bless His Holy Name!”
Thank You, Lord Jesus, thank You!
I awoke this morning praising God, and I shall not cease to praise and give Him thanks everywhere in everything. I owe it; He has it coming. I shall praise the Lord “for” and not “so that.” He shall do whatever He pleases and it behooves us to accept all at His hand, both good and evil.
Who are we to know what is good or bad, what is needed or not, coming or not? Who are we but clay? Bless the Lord, every creature, always and forevermore. To God be all the praise and glory and honor and power and thanksgiving and blessing and wisdom and might and salvation and worship! HalleluYAH, HalleluYAH, HalleluYAH!
“This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!” This is the day I have been waiting 25 years for. Bless the Lord! Praise the Lord! Today, I awoke for the first time in my life praising the Lord Jesus. Thank You, Lord Jesus! And I shall not cease for anything to give You the praise due to You, Lord. Thank You for filling my mouth with praise! Thank You, Lord Jesus, thank You!
“Praise the Lord: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.”
“Let the high praises of God be in their [saints’] mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand; to execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people; to bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron; to execute upon them the judgment written: this honor have all His saints. Praise the Lord!”
“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!”
On this March 8th morning, I awoke with a puffy left eye. I had dreamt of being at George Warnock’s, crying much for their autistic granddaughter, desiring the Lord to heal her. There were many handicapped people there, and I was wondering what the Lord was going to do. Warnock’s daughters were there. It seemed he had three, but I don’t know that is true. It seemed a junk dream to me. I was crying so hard in the dream that I was really crying in my sleep. I was laying on my left side.
My eye continued to get worse. Praying, I was told I had to give my latest revelations, Man of Sin 2, to those at the farm. In deciding to do so, my eye immediately began to get better.
Within four days, both Jonathan and I suffered problems with our left eyes, which condition grew steadily and considerably worse, and when each of us obeyed God, the problem dramatically cleared. It was also on the second day for each of us that the trouble cleared. It was strange for me to awake with a swollen, yet painless eye, and this, two days after Jonathan had his eye problem. We had never had eye problems previously.
Marilyn called from the farm, upset at my sending the material to them. She said, “I’m not going to read it. That’s all I have to say,” and hung up.
Talking to Mark the next morning, he said the paper was timely and that he was thankful. He said Sean had been wrestling in the past weeks (I had begun to avoid Sean, knowing there was no talking to him at all). Now Marilyn and Sean were upset with Mark and me.
However, with them adamantly firm on believing the prophecy, Mark became very upset – the worst ever, he said. I told him to praise the Lord and give thanks. Mark said that Jonathan was also quite disturbed at the breakfast table because Marilyn and Sean were very angry with Mark.
I told Lois on her 15th day of fasting that she needed to persevere; she had nothing to fear; she mustn’t be afraid of anyone or anything; she must receive for herself from God, and believe what she receives. [By the way, all the fasts mentioned in this book are “water only.”] As she continued, she began to see things about herself that weren’t pleasant. She began to see herself as having been a whore, having hatred and bitterness toward me, having sympathy for Marilyn, and taking pleasure in what Sean and Marilyn were doing.
It suddenly hit me that I had killed Alaythia, a daughter I could have had were it not for my whoring after money and consequent bitterness toward God. When Marilyn had her miscarriage, Archie had prophesied, saying, “The Lord showed me that you lost the baby because of bitterness toward God for the stock market.”
Jonathan might have had a five-year-old sister by now, Bob Gregson and Paul’s dreams fulfilled. Marilyn and I brushed off what Archie said. So hard was I that it wasn’t enough to lose a child and regret it. I had to lose the rest of my family! How hard and blind! How wicked!
“Lord, I have grievously sinned against You. I didn’t even know or see the price I was paying, and I’m sure I see but the scratching of the surface. I murdered our own child. Is that why Marilyn hates me so, Lord?”
Back in the 80s, the Lord spoke to me, saying, “There is a pestilence that seeks to destroy you from before My face.” So often have I been troubled with dreams and thoughts, particularly in the night. I would come to the conclusion that what I had just felt and thought about Marilyn’s miscarriage wasn’t true.
Prophesied by Mickey Patrick, Don Morrison, Theo, and Ernie Chadwick, all in 1976, that I would be broken, I realized it was now coming to pass. Mickey also said that the Lord would break me by causing me to be still. I have had to “let it happen.” Three times I was told. I had to sit and do nothing for nearly 3½ years now, from September 24, 1996.
A man by the name of Bill Britton once had a vision he recorded and published, called The Harness of the Lord. I have always felt like that vision applied personally to me (not that it doesn’t apply to others).
I told Marilyn I believed that everyone was afraid of her. Lois confessed so, and I know I’ve been afraid of Marilyn. I also suggested to her that she was operating in black faith, that is, a carnal one, which, in its own right, also had power to do miracles (1 Corinthians 13:2), as was the case with Jannes and Jambres, the sorcerers withstanding Moses and Aaron in Pharaoh’s court.
While one might blame Marilyn for people being afraid of her, “fear of man brings a snare,” and the fault is with those who fear. The fearful, the Bible says, have their part in the lake of fire, along with every other kind of sinner (Revelation 21:8).
Marilyn was very fearful; she infected all with fear. She dominated because she feared, and in dominating, she injected fear into others. What a horrible condition! And I have been subjected to fearing her. How many husbands have been recorded to turn to drink, hobby, sport, drugs, occupation, or mistress to gain respite from a domineering wife?
People live in fear, which they inherited from eating of the Tree of Knowledge. The first thing Adam and Eve experienced upon eating of that Tree was fear (Genesis 3:7-10). In their insecurity, wives pass fear on to their husbands who have chosen to believe and follow them instead of God.
On March 14th, forty days after I prayed for Lois at the farm, she ended her fast. She received answers of the Lord for her questions she put to Him. I told her that she needed to stand by herself in what she received and that the battle would be great. I told her, “Hell will break loose,” when she spoke.
She said she had become unsettled soon after my praying for her.
In giving thanks to the Lord for my circumstances, I was seeing a remarkable similarity between Jezebel of Revelation 2:20-23 and Marilyn. Here is the passage and the similarities:
Revelation 2:20-23 MKJV
(20) But I have a few things against you because you allow that woman Jezebel to teach…
Marilyn and Sean both originally insisted that they be free to talk together and that Marilyn counsel Sean. Marilyn also took it upon herself to direct the others.
…she saying herself to be a prophetess …
Marilyn prophesied and not only so, but has insisted that we must believe her and her prophecy as the oracle of God. She calls herself a prophetess.
…and to cause My servants to go astray, and to commit fornication, and to eat idol-sacrifices.
By choosing another husband instead of me in the presence of all, did she not go contrary to God and the counsel of Scripture, thus teaching both spiritual and physical fornication and the worship of other gods? Indeed, how could one see it any other way? Were not others influenced to think, speak, and do the same? Does not a little leaven leaven the whole lump?
(21) And I gave her time that she might repent of her fornication, and she did not repent.
The Lord has said to me, “Let it happen.” He was giving her time to repent of her fornication. It had now been over three years and, thus far, she hadn’t repented.
(22) Behold, I am throwing her into a bed, and those who commit adultery with her into great affliction, unless they repent of their deeds.
If by choosing Baal instead of God, the children of Israel committed adultery, how was Marilyn’s choosing Sean instead of me not counted adultery? The Lord promises a bed of great affliction for all partakers of adultery if they don’t repent.
(23) And I will kill her children with death. And all the churches will know that I am He Who searches the reins and hearts, and I will give to every one of you according to your works.
It’s remarkable that the Lord didn’t say He would kill Jezebel with death, but her children. I hadn’t seen or heard that Marilyn would die, but I did have a vision of Sean dying.
The name “Jezebel” is defined as “non-cohabited, un-husbanded.” Remarkable! Marilyn, in spirit, had no husband now. She moved, contrary to the Law and will of God, from under the covering of her true husband, and the second is not her husband.
(Another, yet similar, Jezebel took over the power in Israel as King Ahab’s wife – see 1 Kings 16 to 21 – and did wickedly.)
Marilyn said to Sean that when he believed the Lord, that is, her prophecy, all this battle would end. I suspected she meant that I would die. That explained why Sean was growing so strong against me, not in righteousness, but in arrogance and presumption.
“Lord, they brought Scripture.”
“As does Satan.”
“Lord, they brought the Law and spoke against sin.”
“So did Job’s friends.”
“Lord, they had much true doctrine.”
“As did the Pharisees.”
“Lord, they talked about You.”
“Was it about Me or doctrines of men? Did you ever hear them speak of Me, bless Me, pray to, or praise, Me?”
“Lord, they never attacked me. They sympathized with me.”
“Oh? What did Gene do here in your house, there at the farm, over the phone? Was Les honest and straightforward with you or vacillating, fickle, and critical of your words? And what about Les’ friends, Barny and Mark? And what about Mark and Amanda’s friends, Debbie and Erin? And what about Les and Penny’s friend, Trudy? You spoke to her and she’s better for it, but have you heard from her? Why not? Don’t you think Les had anything to do with that? Where did Barny get all his notions about you? And why aren’t they receiving you now?”
People attribute the power and glory due to God alone to many other things or persons, without realizing it. It is said that violence on TV conditions children to be violent. Yet long before TV came into being, there was great violence in the earth in all cultures. In the second generation of man, elder brother killed younger brother.
Because there was violence before doesn’t logically mean that TV violence isn’t corruptive. However, if violence causes violence, why is it that when men come home from war, they often don’t wish to even talk about it? Why is it that many who see it in movies and TV don’t practice or approve of violence?
Those who practice and copy what they see for violence on TV are also void of discipline, instruction, wisdom, knowledge, faith, the Law, and the love of God in the home, particularly in their formative environment. No, God keeps those He chooses by providing them with all the good things I mention.
On March 17th, Day 1270, I received revelation of the meaning of Lois’ vision that showed me raising my hand and stopping the battle. She had the vision 144 days before, on Day 1225 of the prophecy. The battle was in Lois, my praying for her led to its termination, and now Lois told me her fear was gone and she had peace since receiving revelation from God concerning our situation.
In the evening of March 17th, Marilyn had a vision, wherein she saw all foundations crumbling, with clouds of dust everywhere, leaving only the Lord, as represented by a thin silver pillar. She prophesied that everything was going to be shaken and those who didn’t have the Lord as their foundation were going to fall.
When reading Exodus 22:29, I realized with horror and shame that I had never consecrated my firstborn son to the Lord, acknowledging the fact that Jonathan is not mine but the Lord’s. Today, I joyfully consecrated him, thankful for the privilege of being able to give him to You, Lord. Thank You! He is Yours!
After her fast was ended on the 14th, having received an answer from the Lord, Lois was hesitant to declare it to others, though she had told me. What had come to her during the fast was that she had been a whore, and that Marilyn was a false prophetess or that Marilyn’s prophecy concerning my dying, and her marrying Sean, was false.
I had a vision at 2:00 AM of March 18, 2000, while in prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord. I saw Lois standing with her back to me, leaning on a large wooden crate about four- to five-feet cubed, while a great and raging bear was charging at her. I had handed her a long, old-fashioned loaded musket. Somewhat apprehensive, she rested the gun on the crate, took aim, and fired at the bear, hitting it squarely in the chest, surprising the bear. The bear kept coming for a few yards more, though its chest had been ripped open. Surprised that it should be a victim, incapacitated so quickly and easily, it finally collapsed, dead.
On the 18th, I took a two-hour nap, unusual for me. When I awoke, I knew and said, “It is finished.” It was done.
I talked to Lois about declaring to all the others what came to her. She finally got up the courage to do so on Sunday the 19th by telephone. After she spoke, I told her and everyone else the vision I had. In declaring to everyone what the Lord had told her in the fast, Lois realized her fear was gone. She had been afraid of Marilyn and Sean, perhaps primarily of Marilyn, but no more. She had the victory over fear and over herself.
Marilyn was in horrible distress. What a battle! And what contradiction! She danced about and tried to find any way to see herself as right. She refused to be wrong and denied things that were clearly evident. She alone was in the light and all others who disagreed in darkness.
I recalled the day at the farm when I hugged everyone. In hugging, I was able to read spirits. Trevor was neutral; Mark was pondering, struggling, yet unbiased; Marilyn was saying, “I’m not your wife!”; Sean, “You’re pitiful; you’ve lost, I’m in charge, and that’s the way it is, but I’ll give you a big hug now that I sit in the victory seat” (patronizing); Lois, “I’m with everybody here, and you’re wrong, but why are things this way?”
However, it was only for Lois that I prayed, as I hugged her, that she would see clearly and understand what was going on, that the Lord would give her what she needed. I asked the Lord to show her mercy and to give her healing and deliverance.
I had recently written three papers (1, 2, and 3) on the revelations God gave me concerning the man of sin and how He was dealing with him in our midst. I asked Marilyn if she believed what I was receiving and saying. She said she couldn’t answer. Indeed, we were dealing with the “mystery of iniquity” and a cunning enemy that practices evasion, smoke and mirrors, deception, and denial, insisting on a righteousness that only God possesses and that He does not claim for Himself in like fashion.
When I talked to Lois, she said Marilyn’s power was broken, and that was what was referred to when I heard, “It is finished.” I know that word also referred to what was done in me and the others. Lois was also delivered, confirmed by the vision of fatally shooting the bear, a formidable, dangerous beast.
As for Marilyn, it was as though I had on my hands the greatest spoiled, selfish brat that ever lived. Pondering the matter, I received that Marilyn had to be intractable for my sake – she was my spiritual conditioner. I had to take a solid stand, believing the Lord instead of her, whom I had made my god all these years. I was guilty of idolatry, making her to be as God to me when seeking answers and guidance on many matters in the name of confirmation from God.
I dropped into St. Martha’s Retreat Center on Scenic Drive in Lethbridge, enquiring as to what it was all about. I met two nuns and borrowed Merlin Carothers’ Prison to Praise. I came away feeling somewhat bad.
I had attacked false religion and its adherents. I was reminded of the prophecy saying I had provoked people to persecute me so that I would suffer as did the Lord. I never got anywhere with provocation. Now I saw that I must do and be different – patient, tolerant, understanding, merciful, compassionate, gentle, focused not on evil or evil ways and attacking those, but focused on the Lord, in peace, joy, righteousness, and thankfulness to Him.
I had closed off nearly the entire world from myself and from all of us in this masochistic, self-righteous, holier-than-thou conduct. I had only myself to blame for the alienation. I expected that things would be turning and that I would have to destroy most of my writings or change them drastically.
Correspondence with Jason Vetter From Computer Trends On November 20, 2006, Victor sent the following letter to Jason Vetter, general manager of Computer Trends in Lethbridge, Alberta: COMPUTER TRENDS REFUSES TO HONOR EXTENDED WARRANTY FROM THE HOME PAGE OF COMPUTER TRENDS: [Emphases are mine (Victor Hafichuk’s)] “Our Core Values Quality Quality is meeting our customer’s requirements at all times and striving to exceed them whenever possible. There is only one way to have a successful company… have a lot of happy, satisfied customers. Service To give real service, we must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. A satisfied customer is our best business strategy. Excellence Go far beyond the call of duty, do more than others expect. Strive and maintain the highest standards, look after the smallest detail and go the extra mile. Excellence.” November 20, 2006. Jason, Victor here. I have written the following letter to record the events of our warranty dispute concerning Jonathan’s laptop. I am not aware that you know the details of this situation, though I have no doubt you are aware of the situation itself. I would have preferred to deal with you directly but I was told you were unavailable. I write this letter with obvious dissatisfaction at the way Computer Trends is handling this. We have neither misused nor abused your product as charged, but you, contrary to yo...
Page 8 PART NINE - Signs of New Times (cont.) Particle - Letter to My Mother and Sister in the Flesh I received some understanding of my life's dealings and relationship with my mother and sister and decided to write them: TO: Anne Hafichuk Ron and Barb Hrehirchuk All others concerned March 2, 2001 I have borne witness to all of you of the Lord Jesus Christ, in God's idea of perfection (obviously not yours or mine), in my frailty or what the apostle Paul called the "foolishness of preaching." As with the apostle Paul and all other saints, I know that in myself, that is, in my flesh, "dwells no good thing." That is the way it is. Nevertheless, Paul preached in spite of his infirmity, sent by God to do so, to bear witness to unbelievers. There were those who believed the Gospel and many more who didn't. Jesus declared that those nearest of kin to His disciple would be his foes. He declared that a prophet is not recognized in his own country. So it has been between you and me. From the day I believed, 28 years ago, you have not believed, but have opposed and shunned me till now. You have laid all blame for the break and lack in our relationship squarely on me and have rejected all accountability for yourselves. I've tried to tell you that the Lord has apprehended me and given me to know the truth, that you haven't known the truth, and that you don't know it now. I've tried many times to make amends, if perchance there was faltering or unfairness or sel...
Page 7 PART NINE - Signs of New Times (cont.) Particle - Lingering Pains and Troubles I awoke on January 27, 2001, troubled. I was still hurting from the two or three times Marilyn publicly stood with Sean against me. "You have all the Scriptures; we have nothing we can say in our defense, isn't that right, Sean?" she would say, standing by his side, interrupting me several times, venomously retorting. It was horrible. And I had never heard a word of true repentance. Lord, I had words come forth in the night, and this morning; it's like it's just not worth living. I've lived in torment for 55 years, ruled by greed, self-concern, pride, emotion, regret, and confusion. Oh, that I could have that new life, that we all could be in a constant peace, enjoying Your Presence, knowing absolutely that all is very good, experiencing it in every way. But we obey where we can, give thanks, and go by faith. It is ever a battle of faith. Battle? Has not the battle passed? Or was there a storm passed? Is there a difference? Are there two battles? Lord, You know all things. Particle - The Difference between Doubts and Things of Doubt I think that if I have any doubts, I must discern the difference between the necessity of putting away those doubts and putting away those things of which I have doubt. If I can discern between these two and obey, I'll have peace in the matter. "Lord, grant me to believe Your Word, which is Lig...