PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.)
Ever since Ernie Chadwick related his vision in 1976 and prophesied to me of a break coming in my life saying I was not to fear, I often thought I had experienced the fulfillment of his vision.
When Mickey and Lynn left us later in 1976 and we uprooted to Dauphin, I thought that was the break Ernie had spoken of.
When we sold all that we had and were taken to Israel in 1979, I thought again it was the break prophesied.
When we were suddenly forced out of Winnipeg in 1981 when Paul’s parents came after us, I thought it was that break.
When the handyman business was cut short in 1983, and we were to flee to the US, it seemed to be the break.
When business consulting stopped suddenly in 1984, soon followed by a cry for help from Delores and Lois for spiritual ministry, I thought it was the prophesied break.
When the Moon River Estates executive “killed” us on November 10, 1989, and we were much alone, I again believed it to be that break.
When we abruptly pulled out of the stock market in 1995, apparently prematurely, and put our savings in the farm, before the promise of God was fulfilled in terms of quadrupling our investment, I thought surely it was now the break. It certainly was a strange and disconcerting situation, pulling out just as we were beginning to recuperate losses.
Seven uprootings in all.
Only months before this point in 1998, I experienced peace for the first time over quitting the mutual investments as a loser, for I recalled Ernie’s vision and prophecy, seeing how applicable it was.
Each of these events seemed to indicate a breaking in me by trying circumstances, as Ernie described. Perhaps God had spoken of a life of experiencing many such events and not just one. But now something began to crystallize for me. I had never experienced anything like what was upon me.
Now I had to sit, let things I found very unpleasant happen, and wait; that was how the Lord was going to break me, as Mickey prophesied. I had not sat waiting in any of those situations, not one.
The other major difference was that in all those cases, the emphasis was more on our circumstances being broken up than on my being broken. Those seemed more external than internal. Now I was faced with an inner breaking. While the effect of those events would come and go, build and wear off, now something deeper was in operation, something permanent.
I came to perceive that Ernie and Mickey were speaking of the same break that Don Morrison and Theo spoke of, a singular event of great significance. I would know for sure. Four prophets, all speaking the same thing in the same year (1976), each of them entirely independent of each other.
On the morning of March 19th, I awoke praising the Lord in tongues and in English, being thankful. I then began describing angels in these words: powerful, flawless in character, noble, great, lofty, selfless, superior, magnanimous, excellent, intelligent, moral, virtuous, incorruptible, just, trustworthy, dedicated, utterly committed, sober, and determined to fulfill their duties.
They love. I had never thought of angels as persons who love, who care. They are all about us, caring in ever uncompromising attentiveness and vigilance. Their entire being is totally devoted to God. What is important to Him is important to them and vice versa.
People everywhere in the world search for heroes, someone they can look up to, trust, enjoy the company of, and depend upon for anything. They look for friends who have the characteristics or personality features of angels, though they don’t realize that angels are the essence of what they seek.
Angels aren’t physical creatures – they are spirits. One may think they are unisexual, and Jesus said they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but they are always recorded in Scripture as men, never as women. However, I would meet an angel, and it would not be as I expected.
Neither Marilyn nor Lois could receive what I had to say about angels. Why?
If angels are as described, why is it said that we, the saints, would judge them? It doesn’t sound like they would need any judging, and certainly not by us who slog through the fleshly mire until given victory. But the saints in this world will be completed in the Perfection of God, in His image. And if the Son of Man needed to learn obedience by the things He suffered, though sinless, how shall angels not be taught, supervised, directed, corrected, and disciplined?
That morning, a protest continued within me about Marilyn and Sean. I thought of them as in adultery. Sean wanted to get reconciled with me while retaining his “right” to Marilyn as his wife. He expected me to live in peace with them while all that continued? Wasn’t it just a little too much to ask? Men normally shoot those who tamper with their wives, but I was expected to be this smiling, benevolent, fatherly fool, who decides to eat her shit with them and say, “My, isn’t this good! Can I ask you for the recipe?”
I thought to myself, “In her spirit, she serves God and is my faithful wife, but in the flesh she goes whoring, bitter toward, and despising me.” Then I think, “Are we not all that way, having both flesh and spirit – in the one, serving the Law of God, but in the other, the law of sin (Romans 7:25)? So how can I criticize?”
But another thought now entered in: We are not to walk in the flesh, as do Sean and Marilyn. That’s the difference. The difference is not the potentiality in us, but the choice we make.
Now, I asked, “Why do they choose this? Is it God punishing or stripping me? If the latter, how long will it last? Will I die as they wish, or will all this finally come to an end, according to my prophecies?”
But I again recalled: 1) God is in full control; 2) He told me to let it all happen; 3) we are not to judge after the appearance; 4) we weren’t to try and figure it all out; and 5) I was to wait patiently for the Lord and give thanks. Hadn’t He been doing things for me? Surely.
Now Lois forgot all that she saw and once more put her full support behind Marilyn. I could say and do nothing. But I had to remain steadfast; the promise was sure and the outcome victorious, not for sin or for the enemy, but for me.
Lois called to warn me of Archie. They heard that he was in town. Would he be the instrument of my demise?
Where would I go? What could I do? Hide? Where and for how long? No, I believed the Lord would have to take care of this one, as He had done before, if He so willed. And if Archie did attack, it would be on a spiritual level, and there, too, the Lord would have to defend and keep me. What could I do? I prayed and received that he would be no threat.
Particle – The Fear of Overpricing Sales Goods
Another fear I recognized and which I believed came from the Bay retail years in Winnipeg was of pricing product too high and being left with inventory. I’d had a fear of competitors out-pricing and out-marketing me, leaving me with deteriorating stocks and social stigma.
At the same time, I didn’t want to price our farm goods at less than they were worth and for so little that it placed us on the poverty level with all the other farmers who are constantly compelled by the system to give their produce away.
Particle – Failing Farmers Fighting in Futility with Foolishness
Governments and multinational corporations (particularly those in the food, chemical, and agricultural industries) are destroying the livelihood of small farmers and the beneficial contributions they can make to their communities.
Think about it: Many farmers fail to make ends meet so they must work off the farm to survive. I recall Social Studies classes in the fifties wherein we were taught that the early French settlers to Canada in the 1600’s were granted two or three acres per family of land along the St. Lawrence River. They were expected to make a decent living off their plots. Today, farmers fail with several sections of land (1000’s of acres) and must be subsidized by the government.
As an organic farmer, seeing the plight of farmers all around us, I was determined from the outset that unless we received a fair return for our labors, we wouldn’t produce anything. I would refuse to sell in desperation at sacrifice prices, while those buying from us would be receiving fair, if not exorbitant, pay for their labors in their occupations.
I say “exorbitant” because while farmers ideally produce basic necessities of life, there are many people that produce far less important products and services for far more pay.
Examples are numerous – sports, entertainment, currency trading and speculation, stock trade, insurance, arms trade, conventional medicine and pharmaceuticals, tourism, religion, politics, law, real estate, and governmental bureaucracies, to name some significant, legal, but often immoral, enterprises, each a subject in itself to discuss.
Farmers are at the bottom of the food chain; they take risks as few others and often work longer hours with greater dangers. Farmers are often socially and economically taken for granted, if not despised. Yet let society try to do without them.
In defeat, competing with each other at farmers’ markets and markets of every kind around the world, they are coerced into yielding their hard-earned products for unfair prices. With vain hopes and wishful thinking, farmers helplessly sell their produce below cost to avoid total loss.
I vowed I wouldn’t permit ourselves to fall into that trap. I also promised myself we would do what we could to encourage farmers to farm wholesomely and to steadfastly reach for just rewards.
Two great names in the cause of good farming and healthy food production are Michael Pollan and Joel Salatin. A good book to give you an idea of the challenges, defeats, and victories of organic farming is Turn Here Sweet Corn by Atina Diffley. My hat off to excellent farmers Martin and Atina, and Joel. Look them up – their books are worth buying.
Particle – Life in the Hereafter
I was reading in Genesis 48:5 where Jacob was about to die. He told his son, Joseph, that just as Reuben and Simeon were his sons directly, so Joseph’s two sons (Jacob’s grandsons) would be Jacob’s, as well. What was the point of Jacob having two more young sons, when he was about to die?
Furthermore, Jacob made Joseph solemnly promise that when the day came that God would visit them in Egypt after his death, they were to remove his bones with them (Genesis 49:29-30). Why?
Jacob knew that physical death was not the end-all.
Particle – Paul’s Expressed Desire
On March 25, 1998, after having some turmoil and questions, I spoke within me to Paul, saying, “Paul, get out of there! Choose! Get with it! Come on!”
A few minutes later, he called and said several things: 1) He sensed Kerri was bad for him; 2) he had been bitter toward me for telling them their marriage was a good thing and following through on that basis; 3) he knew he had to come to this conclusion of Kerri and the marriage on his own; 4) the Word of the Lord through Kerri, saying the Lord required my life (when I asked Him what He required of me), was related to February 6th when I said to the Lord, “I will serve in my infirmities,” to which the Lord replied, “That is what I’ve been waiting to hear.”
I then thought of Trevor’s prophecy, in which he said I would not be limited by time and space.
It turned out that Paul was unexpectedly coming to Lethbridge with Jim Barngrover, an organic farmer and commodities broker, who would be passing through and decided to visit our farm and give us some advice.
I asked Paul what his heart’s desire was. Thinking briefly on it, he replied that he wanted to be free to come and go and interact with people, not just in business, but in personal and spiritual matters – being alive and involved instead of living separately within, which he knew to be death, not life. I was glad to hear it.
Particle – Visions and Prophecies on the Fiftieth Day
On March 28, 1998, the 50th day since February 6th, Lois had a vision of Paul with hands upraised, happy, worshipping the Lord.
Jonathan then said, “Dad, I just had a vision – an explosion. I saw the ground exploding.”
Particle – The Lord Reigns in Heaven over All
This day, I received that the predominant message we would be taking to the world, generally speaking, was that the Lord reigns in Heaven over all. God is in full control; He is Sovereign, Lord of lords.
As Paul and I prayed together, I asked the Lord for His counsel as to what to do. Paul had these words for me: “Go in your strength. Believe My words to you, but if not the words, then believe Me for My works’ sake (what I have done for you).”
Particle – Talks with Vicky Overbeek
Our neighbor, Vicky Overbeek, didn’t read the letters I wrote them on spiritual matters and neither did her husband, Casey, but Vicky did seem somewhat open to talk.
Casey was a principal owner in a company, Silver Ridge Construction. I believe they could have done well, but Casey wasn’t about to listen to what I had to say, and he told me so. When talking to Vicky, I discovered Silver Ridge wasn’t doing well. If people would only humble themselves and listen! Those in most need to hear are the most reluctant to listen. Isn’t that why they’re in such need?
Particle – The Troublesome Threesome
In the past few weeks, Sean had spoken of wanting to see restored the relationship he and I had when we first met, which he had lost. I asked him what he wanted more – a relationship with me or my wife and possessions – he couldn’t have both. He would have to choose.
Let the nature of my relationship with Marilyn shed some light here as to the difficulty of our situation in determining a course of action between us. A couple nights before, I had a dream that a woman came up to me and put her arm around my waist. It felt so good.
Marilyn and I had similar dreams. It seemed we were like horses that are found chewing the fence posts and wooden rails of their corrals, trying to alleviate some need or craving. I would have liked to have a wife (if a wife at all) who loved me, and she, a husband who loved her. She said she experienced that with Sean. I believed that if the Lord didn’t do something like take me, then we should divorce if such feelings continued.
But the Lord was not taking me, none of us was changing, and so divorce was the only alternative I could see. I didn’t see it as right to go on this way – having a relationship that lacked emotional fulfillment. She didn’t love me and never had; she told me so. She also told me she loved Sean and got from him what she lacked. He said that he loved her.
The day before, Marilyn told Sean there would be no reconciliation between him and me and asked him if he could live with that. He readily said he could.
Particle – Declaring My Position
The next day, I went to the farm and told everyone where I stood. I said I didn’t believe in the literal fulfillment of Marilyn’s prophecy. I asked Sean to make his choice considering the same.
I told them I believed the Lord, telling me that as Aaron was given to Moses, so Paul was given to me and would serve with me as spokesperson to the world. However, I saw Paul presently as more into works than faith and dependent on my oil (my faith and spiritual strength) rather than having his own. Mark received a prophecy concerning Paul that “the time was not yet,” and that Paul was “overconfident.”
So often I wanted to communicate with Archie, to see that things were made right between us. I wanted to see good things for all of them. In him was fulfilled the proverb:
“A brother offended is like a strong city; and their disagreements are like the bars of a fortress” (Proverbs 18:19 MKJV).
I’d written several letters to him but he hadn’t responded, avoiding us as a plague. I wasn’t free to simply phone them, knowing the great enmity and expecting to be cut off.
Marilyn prophesied that dark days awaited me. I didn’t believe her, but rejoiced even if it were true. Why would I rejoice? At one time I would have been troubled by the mere mention of such a prospect. I had a victory unknown to me before.
But I believed the dark days ahead were for Marilyn. Lois told me on March 25th that she had a vision of Marilyn swimming in the ocean. Waves came and practically “dissolved” her (as Lois put it again and again). Marilyn didn’t perish but was swimming fiercely while the waves overwhelmed and covered her.
Marilyn also had a vision of a tidal wave that would come and wipe everything clean. A month or so later, I told Marilyn the wave was on its way, but she had nothing to fear because it was for good.
On March 26th, Lois had a dream wherein she and Marilyn were sitting at the kitchen table, crying. She and Marilyn were apologizing to the Lord for speaking against Him. Others had been at the table and left.
Particle – Confirmations of Trevor’s Prophecy
Repeatedly, I was finding fulfilled Trevor’s March 10th prophecy of having no limitations by time and space:
While Paul was hundreds of miles away, I spoke in and by my spirit to him. Minutes later, he called, telling me things pertaining to what I had said.
Strangely, I had a prayer for Mark that a portion of my spirit would go with him to Japan. I also recalled the Lord in the mid-80’s directing me to lift up my spirit, that He would send it to other places. Was this more of Trevor’s space and time prophecy?
Writing Archie a letter, there was opposition to sending it. Trevor spoke up saying that Archie was receiving it though I hadn’t sent it, just by my having written it. I knew that Archie knew what I was saying and that it wasn’t necessary to send it.
I received that it wasn’t going well at this time for Gord and Joan Fuller and that they must suffer the fruits of their presumptuous, obnoxious, arrogant ways. We hadn’t had anything to do with them for years. Why was I thinking of them? We would soon find out in a peculiar way.
Trevor told me he had received that the new we were entering would be gradual and non-eventful, that the change shouldn’t disturb us. The day he received this I wanted to tell him the same thing, before he said it.
On April 1, 1998, I wrote in my journal:
On my 52nd birthday, my weight is on the rise at 178 pounds. If I don’t do something about it and don’t stay away from beaches, I’m liable to get harpooned. I hate myself this way; it’s unhealthy and, most of all, utterly unacceptable to the Lord. Imagine a fat man hanging on the cross! My eating is such a depressing matter to me – it affects me terribly.
A dark night it is today. Yes, I made it to 52, but one can be very sorry and not happy for it. I am bothered about the farm, competition, costs, Sean, Paul, my physical condition and health – bothered about everything. It’s terrible! Dark days are here, as Marilyn said. Is there no respite ever? But I don’t just look for respite – I long for final, lasting relief and not just relief, but a taste of the opposite of pain; not just neutrality (though that would be wonderful about now), but peace, joy, and fulfillment.
I went into the stock market knowing nothing, throwing all our savings on gambles with liars, thieves, and incompetents, and we lost, severely. The Lord replenished. Then we “bought the farm” (a term for downed fighter pilots in the two Great Wars) at a premium price, above appraisal value, paid for junk we didn’t need, bought depleted, abused, useless pasture and hay fields, knowing nothing about anything, yet taking on several things. It has cost much money, health (mine at least), our marriage, privacy, even our lives.
Will we survive? Will we still believe and be counted among those written in the Book of Life? Our competitor comes in, professionally, studied, with less investment, and ruthless. He has a better location, not only to do well for himself, but also to cut off business traffic from us. We are fuel for his fire, drawing traffic for him.
I do everything in utter ignorance, without knowledge or planning, contrary to the instructional wisdom of the Scriptures, and I burn for it, thinking I go by faith.
Particle – Recovery from an Attack of Darkness
Yet, we did buy the farm on July 10th, the one that came our way with the business it had, with all those involved. It is the Lord’s doing and what can I say? If it’s my undoing, so be it. If I need it, better to have it. In spite of what I describe above, I still say the sitting and breaking is over and I’m excited in spite of the darkness. The breaking is something hidden, which must soon come forth. This is not whimsical, but something that defies appearances.
We have received prophecies in the past of many people coming, that many would be blessed, joining us, and blessing others. We have said, “Abraham didn’t get his promises in his lifetime,” meaning it was possible we wouldn’t, either. But it was plain that he wasn’t to receive the land or his greatly multiplied seed in his lifetime. He was told he would receive a son in this life, and the rest in the future. The Lord made known to him what applied to which life. If our promises were for the life to come, He would have told us so. Abraham knew and so should we – and we do. Today, I know. The Lord’s promises to us are for this life.
Telling Marilyn what I received, she immediately rejected it, denouncing it as speculation. But then, it goes against all that she has believed recently. She can’t accept that I will be here to receive the Lord’s promises.
Particle – Roy Rogers and Dale Evans
Years before, the Lord had separated us from religious people, books, and activities. He told us He was separating us from destructive religion. Now I red of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, my childhood heroes, who came to profess faith in Christ.
What terrible tragedies they suffered! They were also immensely popular. I saw neither of these things having a place in the lives of victorious, believing Christians. Was I judgmental or in error? Would the same happen to me that happened to them, as I preached these things? Or have we been spared, being given to understand? If given to understand, have I fallen by attitudinal reaction like pride and cynicism of those who haven’t been as blessed and enlightened as I believe I’ve been?
Roy and Dale praised and supported Billy Graham. Why didn’t they see, or was I the blind one? I say they paid a heavy price for taking on themselves the Name of the Lord in vain.
(Curiously, Roy Rogers died not long after I wrote about these things. He died on July 6, 1998.)
Particle – More Religious Works
Somewhere around this time, I decided to call Ernie Chadwick in Prince George, BC. He had recently suffered a heart attack. He wanted to send me some audiotapes to listen to, strongly declaring that the move of the Spirit of God was with the speakers on the tapes. I consented, expecting nothing. I listened to Rick Joyner, Paul Cain, John Poole, and certain others. The Lord showed me these men were not in His anointing, but doing their own thing. Ernie was deceived.
Matthew 24:23-28 MKJV
(23) Then if any man shall say to you, “Lo, here is Christ!” Or, “There!” Do not believe it.
(24) For false Christs and false prophets will arise and show great signs and wonders; so much so that, if it were possible, they would deceive even the elect.
(25) Behold, I have told you beforehand.
(26) Therefore if they shall say to you, “Behold, He is in the desert!” Do not go out. “Behold, He is in the secret rooms!” Do not believe it.
(27) For as the lightning comes out of the east and shines even to the west, so also will be the coming of the Son of Man.
(28) For wherever the carcass is, there the eagles will be gathered.
Ernie had a prophecy and vision for me in 1976 that I believed was of God and was fulfilled. Should I, therefore, continue to believe him and follow his advice thereafter?
It doesn’t matter if men are used by God at any time to deliver a message or revelation. They are not God. They are earthen vessels like anyone else. Men can err, they can lie, and they can fall, even as prophets of God did (read 1 Kings 13).
As well, Paul declared, “But even if we or an angel from Heaven preach a gospel to you beside what we preached to you, let him be accursed” (Galatians 1:8 MKJV).
It is true that, as the Israelites, we must move as does the pillar of fire or pillar of cloud, without doubt or hesitation. If the pillar lifted and moved on in the wilderness while Moses decided to remain, which should the people follow? Moses was not to be followed, but the Lord. Moses was only to be followed as he followed the Lord, if the Lord required that any follow. Should once-appointed leaders go aside from the Lord, their followers become shipwrecked with them.
But was there a difference between a man of God and a believer who was used of God to deliver a certain message? Was Ernie Chadwick a man of God or just someone in Christ’s Body used at one time to minister to another member? Do non-ministerial Body members fall away? Yes, they do. The Scriptures give a few examples. Do men of God like Moses or Paul fall away? I don’t know of any such examples in Scripture.
(I now find an obituary of Ernest Chadwick of Prince George, BC with a death date about this time of March 4, 1998.)
Particle – My Strength Renewed
Without self-righteousness and contention, it seemed time for me to regroup, to recognize once again that God had His hand on me all this time and has taught us truth, keeping us from this present generation that presumes to know and appears to prosper, but which is in great jeopardy.
I considered our next-door neighbors, for example. They led artificial Christian lives, self-made, and were being called into account for it, suffering the judgments of God on every side. Ironically, the religious who consider themselves beacons stumble in a darkness many in the world have never known.
Particle – Vision: Living Boulders
On April 11, 1998, Mark and Amanda Ogden came to the farm with a friend, Erin Schipper, to talk about the Lord. Later, Amanda called to say that others were interested in visiting with us and would come the next day.
On April 12, about 3:30 a.m., I had a vision wherein I saw a large oblong boulder laying on the ground. It represented a person, and I was that person. The “head” of the boulder was on the right. At my head were six or seven similar boulders laying all about the grounds, in scattered array and various positions.
I saw those boulders rise up and make their way along the far side of me (the central boulder) to the other end (my foot) and lean forward toward me, in harmony, at about a sixty-degree angle from the ground. They were in a straight-lined formation perpendicular to the line in which my body lay. Their leaning forward was one of obeisance. The boulder that represented me lay entirely still throughout the vision. I hadn’t moved.
That day, Les and Penny Mills, Gene and Vicky Knorr, Mark and Amanda Ogden and their friend, Erin Schipper, came and met with us at the farm. Having spent nearly a year in semi-isolation, I had a hard time with having that many strangers around, besides the fact that things were hard for all of us as we were in the midst of a prolonged and difficult spiritual process and considering what was going on with Marilyn and Sean.
Before meeting, I felt like there was a “disturbance in the Force.” I was apprehensive, but I didn’t think it was merely my being out of sorts because of my own circumstances. There was more to it, as I would soon find.
We visited for three or four hours. We really had nothing to share with one another though one matter did arise. I happened to say something about spiritual authority and submission to it. There was a sudden, strong negative reaction from them, particularly from Mark Ogden. I told them they despised authority.
Particle – Spiritual Speech to the Seven
I was disappointed with the outcome of our meeting with the seven people. We had always been hoping many would come and join us, according to promises I’ve received of God. By the end of the meeting it was becoming apparent we had enmity on our hands. Time would tell.
A day after our visit, I was given things and wrote them a letter, addressing all seven commonly, yet as individuals, according to what I saw in their lives.
Receiving the letter, Les called saying he agreed with all that was written, saying it was the Word of God. However, the letter didn’t go down well with the others. They resented what I said, besides the fact it was distributed publicly to them as a group. I thought, “Why should one be ashamed or afraid of the truth shared with others? If it comes against you, repent if you’re wrong and rejoice if you’re innocent when ‘men speak all manner of evil against you,’ as the Lord directed. What is the problem?”
A week later, I called Gene Knorr. He and Vicky came with their daughter, Abby Lynn, visited with us for half a day, and stayed for supper. Gene was hurting, hiding, tossing out all sorts of nonsensical, unscriptural opinions and speculations, and was generally an empty, untethered boat tossing on the waves, with a few holes in its hull. It seemed there was no helping them.
We found out they had undergone some traumatic, painful circumstances in Kindersley, Saskatchewan. A “Word of Faith” church was split in two and they seemed to be ostracized and condemned in the process, coming away bruised and beaten, certainly without satisfaction for a job well done or victory over any enemy.
For a time, I thought the boulders represented these visitors, seeing I had the vision the day they came and there were about as many of them as boulders in the vision. I would find I was wrong.
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Page 7 PART ONE – Darkness to Light (cont.) Particle – “The Dance of Death” That is what the Regina Leader Post called it in a tiny article about the death of my father's father, Michael Hafichuk. He died while dancing at the King's Hotel in Dauphin during a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. I was at the Grange Café with my friends, when Park Chow, the owner, a rather cynical fellow, shouted to me in his Chinese accent, “Ey, Ahfeechok, you granfadah jes drop dea' at King Otel!” What a way to break such news to a kid! I thought he was teasing, but why would he tease about something like that? He was serious, and I was incredulous and annoyed. The King's Hotel was just across the street from the Grange. I dashed over, found that there had indeed been a tragic event, and ran home ten blocks away. Sure enough, my grandfather, at age 72 and considerably overweight, died of a heart attack while dancing. Particle – Omens and Spirits Before Grandpa died, it was reported in the family that, as he lay on the floor, he wanted to speak to someone. Two of his daughters-in-law spoke of how they were able to see a demon trying to pass from him to another vessel. For this reason, they did not wish to come near him. There were omens in the days and weeks leading up to my grandfather's passing. That morning at Catholic Mass held in my grandparents' honor (for their anniversary), I was told there were two tapered candles on the altar in front of them as they renewed t...
Page 11 PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.) Particle – Emptiness Within Often and for long periods of time, God has hidden Himself from His called ones, as with all the saints and prophets of old. We desire so much to walk by sight, but we need to learn to walk by faith, by the little given knowledge of the unknown, in order that we may know Him. And though He hides Himself to try us, He's always there; there's nowhere one can go from His presence. Emptiness isn't a bad sign in itself, as one might suppose. I am ill with sorrow and grief, Vexation and loneliness; My soul is filled with groanings and longings; I look in all directions; I reach out; My hand returns empty. Tears fill my soul; I cry and cry and cry; There is no one to comfort, to console, to ease my pain. Day after day, year after year, Decade after decade, I wait, I long, I cry; I heave and sigh. There is none to understand. I wait for morning; I wait for evening; I'm desolate. I eat, I sleep, I cry. Is it sin I say I don't have That causes me to be this way – Desperate, sad, lonely, unfulfilled, Useless, despised, unwanted? This is not the abundant life. Though I have my carnal needs met And freedom to come and go, I have nowhere to come and go. All is quiet, uneventful, drab, and grey. Do I complain, Or do I merely state the way things are For those appointed to such by Divine order, Not for sin, But for His purposes? I don't know. I do know I...
Page 19 PART ONE – Darkness to Light (cont.) Particle – John R. Rice The Sword of the Lord was a publication that stirred up considerable controversy among the evangelicals in the early seventies. John R. Rice was bombastic, lambasting evangelicals. I recall them saying he was a brother, but not very loving or Christlike. I didn't know what to make of Mr. Rice. Though he stood out as different among evangelicals, I was not drawn to his teaching. Particle – Heeding Head or Heart The issue was never a matter of doctrine to me so much as spirit and life. My guidelines for choosing my teachers seemed different than those of most others. I was led more by the strings of the heart than by the chains of the head or denominational partisanship, though I didn't know it. Particle – Lukewarm Lambs, Likewise Leaders Members of the Alliance Church once talked of how a visiting preacher confronted a congregation. He asked, “How many people here hate God?” No hands went up. “How many people are on absolute fire for God, willing to do anything for Him?” Very few, if any, hands went up. Finally, he asked, “How many are somewhere in between?” There was a great show of hands. He then had them open their Bibles to the following passage: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I would that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16 MKJV). The fellow telling the story (himself an or...