PART SIX– Harvest Haven to Surprise Visitors (cont.)
At the time all this was happening, I wondered why Marilyn, Sean, Lois, and Paul couldn’t see how the affair between Sean and Marilyn was wicked and utterly contrary to the Scriptures. I declared the counsel concerning the sanctity of marriage and relationship between man and wife. I pointed out the terrible example being displayed to the young and the children, to everyone.
They were all blind and impervious to reason. They should have been in fasting and prayer. (Paul asserts he was against what was happening, but was letting it happen as I was instructed. I acknowledge that with Paul it could have been only the way I saw it and not as things really were. With the other three, I know it was wickedness at work.)
Marilyn and Sean in particular stayed firmly to their course of Marilyn’s prophecy and her interpretation. I tried to tell them that any revelation coming against Scriptural testimony is not of God, but they didn’t believe me. I was the damned fool being taken to have a glorious ministry as that of Moses. Did they not see the contradiction?
The delusion was awesome, but then, when God sends strong delusion, who can possibly escape it? Yet I knew all this was happening in the process of God’s destroying the man of sin (2 Thessalonians 2). He was exposing us all in our “wrongness.”
I had been receiving from the Lord that Sean was the problem in it all, yet I wasn’t even willing to write it down in my journal, lest Marilyn should see it and be enraged (she would peruse my diary against my wishes and right to privacy). On October 30, Kerri reluctantly confessed it had dawned on her that Sean was the trouble. Paul had received this earlier, as had I. Now confirmation was coming in and we were bringing it all to the surface.
Would Trevor and Lois believe it? We didn’t know. What we did know was that Sean was now insisting that Kerri talk not to me, but to him. If she called me and he was aware of it, she was questioned. “Who were you talking to, and why?”
Paul told Marilyn she had a fantasy and that Sean was bringing division. Marilyn was very troubled and defensive. It was no longer a secret that Sean was suspected of being the divisive element.
Cathie was the first to leave, then Archie, Erin, Ben and Dan, and then I. When Cathie alone left, we thought we wouldn’t be able to handle farm responsibilities. Marilyn was deeply troubled, feeling she would be compelled to assume responsibility. Now, knowing that Paul and Kerri had no marriage blessing from the Lord, would they be leaving? Realizing that Sean was the problem, would he be leaving? If so, who would be left to do all the work? There was so much to do from the very beginning that we could have used three times or more as many of us to keep up with it all. Plainly, the farm had become a troublesome environment.
Prospects looked grim indeed, though the physical business wasn’t the issue to the Lord. Yet we continued with the entire workload, diminishing nothing. Why? I don’t know. We often considered reducing it. Perhaps I was covetous and wasn’t willing to let go of anything.
Added to our personal, mental, and spiritual problems, we had great stocks of perishables – meat and produce – with insufficient consumer demand and no time, knowledge, or skill to market. Would they perish? Would they be given away? Or would sufficient numbers of customers soon come to buy it all? We hoped.
Furthermore, we didn’t know what we were doing. We had terrible chicken batches and losses in our experimentations, losses of sheep and calves, problems with hired labor and with equipment, soil, water, and weather. It was a veritable nightmare. Through it all, and in spite of this, I wasn’t permitted to be personally involved with the farm business and operations.
As I yielded to the Lord, these things came to me:
Sean was the problem.
The Lord had granted me mercy and would finish His program with everything and everyone, though I have meddled.
I asked, “How is it that Marilyn chooses Sean instead of me for husband while I’m yet alive, but seems to want something with me, and rather sincerely at that?” The answer: Her flesh wanted Sean but her spirit in Christ chose to do the Law of God, to be faithful to her husband, her true head. Curiously, it appeared she chose Sean in faithfulness to what she heard and thought she heard from God, but in her delusion, she served the law of sin and had determined to do so… “Two entities vying for power” in her.
Both Paul and Lois, independent of each other, received the following Scripture concerning Sean:
“A David psalm. The God-rebel tunes in to sedition– all ears, eager to sin. He has no regard for God, he stands insolent before Him. He has smooth-talked himself into believing that his evil will never be noticed ” (Psalms 36:1-2 MSG).
They had also independently received revelation via specific Scripture at other times concerning me. The Lord was likening me to Joseph in this circumstance:
Genesis 49:22-26 MKJV
(22) Joseph is a fruitful son, a fruitful son by a well, whose branches run over the wall.
(23) The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and an archer lurks for him.
(24) But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob (from the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel);
(25) by the God of your father, who shall help you. And may the Almighty bless you with blessings of Heaven above, blessings of the deep that lies beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb.
(26) The blessings of your father are above the blessings of my ancestors, to the utmost bound of the everlasting hills. They shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him, the ruler, the leader of his brothers.
Speaking of Joseph, who was given seven years to prepare Egypt for the coming famine, I received that we had seven years to prepare the farm, two of which were now gone. In these years, we would develop the farm, learning how to operate it effectively so that in the coming economic, agricultural crunch, we would be prepared. The wickedness within and among us would be purged so that we might survive the grievous times to come, wherein there would be tribulation throughout the land.
Did not Paul and Archie prophesy and have visions of our farm being a safe haven for us and for others the Lord would bring? Does not God intend to deliver His people, as He did Jacob, Noah, Lot, and the Israelites? Were there not fearful trials for them prior to deliverance?
What fearful trials await and are even upon us! But will they not lead us to salvation? I also received that there would come an order at the farm, which would be accepted by those the Lord chooses, and rejected by those who didn’t belong.
I advised all persons at the farm to accept the status quo for now, to submit, like it or not, to Sean, who was appointed manager, and who in turn was to submit to Marilyn, she having responsibility, particularly in my absence, to manage the affairs. I spoke to Chris and Nathan (both of whom had a very hard time with Sean), to Paul and Kerri (who had chafed at Sean), and to Lois and Trevor. What a mix-up – apparently! Lord, Jesus, only You can deliver us from ourselves!
Note: Marilyn expected Sean to obey her, seeing she was owner and in charge of the farm, yet she deemed him to be her husband. Wasn’t she supposed to be submitting to her husband, “calling him ‘lord’?”
On November 10th (a significant date to us) of 1997, Bob Gregson called saying he had a dream on November 8, which he was compelled to tell me about, not able to rest until he did. He said it was for me and not for him.
In it, he saw a multitude gathered at a river’s edge on a very bright day. Those gathered were all dressed in golden white garments. Gender was not discernible. They were gathered around who seemed to be two very important persons. Those two persons wore roses on their chests, as one would put one on a lapel. One had a red rose, while the other had a black rose.
All of these people were waiting in great anticipation of an event, for someone very, very important coming down the stream and who was to arrive any minute. They were all waiting with great expectation and excitement; all was very still. Bob believed that the one coming was the Lord Jesus, but didn’t really know.
In the dream, Bob had broken out of some bushes and had come on the scene. He was also dressed in similar garments but wasn’t gathered with us.
Later, in discussing this dream, Bob, his wife Lynn, Kerri, and perhaps others received that both those two persons with black and red roses were me. I agreed that I was both. I was expecting a reconciliation to occur in me, which the Lord alone could do, “making of twain one new man” (Ephesians 2:13-16).
Bob was given to deliver this message to us. He didn’t know the interpretation.
I wrote: “The Lord is coming for me to make ‘of two, one new man’ in me, as He did in Himself and as He must do for all.
The time was almost here for this to happen. Everybody is waiting quietly, knowing the Lord’s appearing is close. Both the waiting persons are very important; otherwise, why would the Lord raise the corruptible from the dead? This doesn’t speak of the spirit man, the one in Christ, because that man, being also important, isn’t corruptible. Yet there will be made of two, one new man, the corruptible finally unified and harmonized with the incorruptible to establish peace at last – no more enmity within.”
Concerning the vision I had of Bob in 1985, I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t see him in earnest appreciation of the Lord and truth. Perhaps I simply didn’t see. He and his wife certainly weren’t with us, having their own lives, friends, desires, interests, preferences, and activities in the world. Yet there he was, receiving a dream from the Lord for us.
Marilyn also had an observation concerning Bob. She saw that he had come too late and “missed the boat.” Was that true?
The dream would be fulfilled.
I rebuked Sean one morning for playing hide-and-seek or cat-and-mouse with me, answering my questions with questions, asking the same thing of me that I asked of him. If I submitted to his tactic, he still withheld from me. He took what I gave and then decided by what he heard whether he wished to be open with me or not.
Yet he expected everyone at the farm to submit to him completely. I asked him: “Is it that you don’t recognize me as an authority over you or is it that you choose not to acknowledge me, though I’m an authority over you?”
“Both,” he replied.
“Then will those same things plague you there,” I said. Again, I told him that he recognized no boundaries, no authorities, that he was a mechanical being acting by law, not spirit. I said that he dared climb the steps to my throne and presumed to sit down beside me and insist that we were equals in every way. (I had limited understanding of how untrue those words were – he demanded the entire throne.)
Marilyn was upset at my words to him, as I knew she would be. The next day, I encountered a mean, vicious, rebellious, hateful creature, menacing, snarling and spitting, with fangs bared and claws protruded. Defiance was the primary essence of her spirit.
Lois had a vision during our period of conflict and chastening wherein I was standing in light. The light was shining toward Marilyn where she was somewhat lower down. She had her back turned to me and was looking down.
As so many times before, but this time with vehemence, Marilyn again came to Sean’s defense and support. She said I was completely wrong in all that had come to me and that Paul was also wrong concerning Sean. Many times before, I had determined to let things happen, even as the Lord commanded me, yet I divulged to Marilyn and Paul in general what had come to me on Sean. I shouldn’t have done so.
In case I was wrong, I didn’t say anything to Sean, but now Marilyn told me I was two-faced. I considered and accepted that I was wrong. I didn’t necessarily believe or know I was wrong, but she got the benefit of the doubt to do with as she would. Lord, the judgment rests with You and only You can bring the truth to light. I am in darkness.
Marilyn called the next morning, saying an evil presence attacked her in the night. She hadn’t experienced such a thing in many years. Only the day before, I had withdrawn all declarations against Sean in the ears of Paul, Lois, and Marilyn. Was there a connection between her evil experience last night and her stand yesterday, along with my resignation to let her have her way? I wasn’t sure.
She red Zechariah chapters two to six and asked that I read them. I expected to receive a different interpretation than she. Reading those passages, it occurred to me that God is comfortable with Satan, even as in one of my visions.
Wasn’t Satan among the sons of God in Heaven? They are also comfortable with him. Didn’t God seem to strike up a casual conversation with Satan concerning Job? Wasn’t Satan free to speak to God? Didn’t God make arrangements with Satan, confidently exposing His beloved servant Job to him?
The Lord’s power is in the laying down of His life, laying all bare. Didn’t the Father give His Son to His enemies? Didn’t God leave the Garden of Eden and permit the serpent to do evil? Didn’t the father of the prodigal give to his son half his goods, knowing they would be squandered? So I must learn God’s way and overcome, if I’m to reign with Him. “Let it happen,” He tells me repeatedly.
The Lord comes, but He doesn’t come alone. He comes with a great train, an army of angels, a multitude of saints, of perfected spirits. Why does He come? He comes to establish His reign and order. He comes to exalt His beloved and to put down under foot the enemies of truth and righteousness.
He comes to free the captives, to reveal Himself, to wipe away all tears, and to banish sorrow from His sons and daughters. Their fears are all dispelled when He comes, and only milk and honey remain. All bitter things are disposed of.
The Lord has served us notice that He comes. He served notice to Abraham that He was going to Sodom and Gomorrah. Not long after, He delivered the godly and destroyed the wicked.
“The time is at hand,” said the Lord in Gethsemane, when the mob came for Him. He was taken and slain. But now He comes to be glorified, received with open arms and great joy. Whereas His sheep were scattered then, now will He gather them. Now roles are reversed – it is He Who comes to take the mob that once took Him.
Lord, we have waited; we have all waited for You to show Yourself. Deliver and heal! Yes, with Your arrival come deliverance and healing.
Sean was making foolish errors that were costing thousands of dollars, this time with the haying and the strawing of strawberries, as well as other matters. Here he was insisting he was the man for the job, and not only for the job but for ownership of all, including my wife. Here was Marilyn seeing him as perfect and faultless in every way, and here were costly errors in judgment. It was all I could do at times to contain myself.
However, the Lord reminded me of all my blunders and foolishnesses in the past, of the great losses in the stock market and how He replenished all in spite of my whoring after money. He reminded me of His promise that He would cover for mistakes and losses. He reminded me He could make more of whatever I might need or want, being the Source of all.
Finally, He told me to sit back and let things fail and be lost, while He did what needed to be done in all of us. When done, He would be faithful and restore, being the Resurrection from the dead.
I’ve often felt singly inept and foolish in losing and failing, but it takes little effort or acuity to see loss and failure everywhere, on all levels.
As with many cities, ours has added malls it didn’t need, effectively stressing, if not eliminating, viable retailers that had served satisfactorily for years. Major construction projects suffer cost overruns all the time. Government waste is proverbial. Great opportunists like P.T. Barnum have repeatedly made and lost fortunes.
In the American Civil War, General Grant was supposed to have erred so greatly under Abraham Lincoln’s presidency that tens of thousands of men perished, apparently needlessly. This is not uncommon in war.
Aside from battle skills and strategies, medical attendants on the battlefield needed only refer to Scripture for instruction in sterilization. Had they done something so simple, many soldiers wouldn’t have lost their lives to infection from caregivers spreading disease from patient to patient.
Going back to the beginning, Adam and Eve lost the Garden of Eden and two sons, one slain and one slaying. Solomon, the wisest king that ever lived, foolishly turned to idols. In due time, Israel and its kings erred so badly, the whole nation was lost, the nation of God’s chosen people, no less. Solomon even wrote that there was a time to gain and a time to lose, a time to laugh and a time to cry, a time to live and a time to die.
I see our losses through a magnifying glass and fail to perceive the great gains God has constantly granted. I cry over pennies when gaining dollars. How our fallen natures are given to mourn losses more than appreciate gains!
“Lord, why should I hope for You to redeem lost earthly possessions when You have redeemed our souls, each of which, You have said, is worth more than the whole world?”
The Alberta Report, operated by Ted Byfield and Link, his son, was an outspoken right-wing “Christian” magazine that dealt with controversial social, religious, and political issues like abortion, rights of homosexuals, deterioration of free speech and religion, and the proliferation of Liberal government corruption.
While I agreed with them on many things and was thankful they were taking public stands others weren’t prepared to take, there were other things on which I couldn’t agree, as usual. However, even on points of agreement, I found myself disturbed, because I wasn’t in a position to do anything about them. I concluded that the best thing to do was to avoid being exposed to them altogether unless I was to be involved.
The magazine was persistent in selling subscriptions, constantly canvassing. On one call, when questioning them about a rumor that they were financially in difficulty, the caller exuberantly declared they had sound financial status. I signed up and paid for three years. After some weeks, the magazine was no more.
The lesson? I asked the Lord about my loss and why it happened. I wondered why I should lose when trying to encourage free speech and Christian perspective. He told me, “Unless something is entirely clean, directed by Me, don’t get involved; it is condemned.”
Since that time, many have been the telemarketers canvassing for donations to purported noble causes and I’ve had to refuse them all, and rightly so. There is much corruption in charity organizations, though they try hard to justify themselves and make it appear otherwise.
Occasionally, I would check to see what was on The Miracle Channel. I watched Jesse Duplantis for a few minutes – utterly demonic; the teen programs – demonic; Benny Hinn – demonic; Ken and Gloria Copeland – demonic; Victory Christian Church – demonic. The channel is a tree and no tree produces both good and bad fruit; it is one or the other. God wouldn’t involve or identify Himself with these satanic works parading as pious works of God.
Multitudes flock to these people, and the constant message, one way or another, sooner or later, is, “Send us money!” They sell “offers,” calling them bargains and urging people to act fast before they’re gone. Diabolical. It is a burden lifted not to listen to any of it and try to sort for anything of value. One may as well look for intact vitamin pills in a sewer.
“Lord, You have told me to ‘turn away from the old.’ How do I do that? I’m troubled on every side. One hundred and thirty days after fasting, all my excess weight has returned. I believe I have prostate problems, my hair is falling out in gobs, like dry leaves off a tree in the fall, my joints ache, and my skin has lost its elasticity in my face; it is wrinkled and saggy beyond my years.
I’ve done stupid, stupid things. I have been full of covetousness and now pay in heart-rending pain the price for my wickedness. Surely, God, You are against me! I bleed and die. I want to die and don’t want to die. I feel so trapped in this farm – helpless and hopeless. Yet are You not over all? Can You not do anything? Lord, my life is cut short.
I hardly ever get to spend time with my son. Even when he was around, I was swimming in torment over the mutuals, afflicting him and my wife.
Last night, Marilyn spoke of how my health was gone and how she was full of vigor and renewed youth. She also said she was feeling like I was her father! And Sean yesterday was trying to tell me how he was succeeding me and spoke of being greater than me.
What are these two doing? Where are they coming from, and Lois with them? I say, ‘Let it all hang out.’ And if they’re right, they’re right.
One very interesting question: Where will I be one year from now? Five years from now?
Now Marilyn is my enemy, my friends are separated from me, and Sean seeks to eliminate me and take everything. I wait and long for You, Father, to come by and rescue me, even as my father did when I, as a boy, nearly went up in flames with the straw stack, fighting desperately and helplessly. I have caused all to suffer and now I suffer for all. I die a death, a horrible one, exposed to all – rejection, adultery, hate, loneliness, loss, despair, sadness, and abandonment.
But Lord, have You not made some promises, or are we deceived? All is cursed. Will You or will You not, once and for all, Lord God, deliver me from evil, covetousness, greed, hypocrisy, selfishness – from myself? Can I not escape? Can I not at least be destroyed?
Do I murmur? Am I destroyed in unbelief? The psalmist complains and then turns in faith to You, but I fall in despair, as Saul, slain by Philistines. Is there no hope?”
One night, I saw Dick and Joan Deweert and John Avanzini from Texas, who was helping them solicit. I thought, “They don’t believe. They don’t believe!” I was thinking of how they talked, laughed, and jested. Light and treacherous they were! Yet they were happy. I was miserable, tormented, without mission or occupation, sick, and disintegrating. Then I read Psalm 73. In various ways, I have been given cause to believe these verses in particular:
“But I am always with You; You have held me by my right hand [as with the man on the Lord’s left when the Lord appeared to me in my first dream of 1972]. You shall lead me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in Heaven? And besides You I desire none on earth. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart, and my part forever” (Psalms 73:23-26 MKJV).
Lord, where else can I go but to You? Who else is there?
Lois had a vision on December 1, 1997. Two soldiers, not in full armor, were holding me with my hands bound behind my back. I was stooped over and facing a third soldier who was in full Roman armor and in command. He was saying, “Kill him,” pointing to his left. I was looking at him as if to say, “Do you know what you’re doing?” or, “You don’t know what you’re doing.” (The soldier’s garment was beautiful.)
There was an outstanding white building of Roman architecture with pillars. It looked like some kind of temple, with a peaked roof. The sun was shining over that building and there were white and fluffy clouds above, but around us was cloudy darkness.
As Lois was relating this vision to me, she said it was representative of the way things have been, with people opposing and condemning me. Lois, days later, had another vision, seeing the temple-type building collapse completely beginning at the center peak.
Could this be related to the image of Daniel 2?
Particle – Coincidence, Not an Accident
I find it peculiar, and not a chance coincidence, that The Miracle Channel should begin in 1995, the same year as Harvest Haven. It was the first 24-hour Christian television station in Canada. Why was it in Lethbridge? Why were we in Lethbridge?
Soon after our beginning, a CJIL (Christ Jesus Is Lord – former name of The Miracle Channel) crew came to investigate us, not as brothers and sisters in Christ, but as the enemy, looking for a story, pursuing the lies and accusations of professing Christians of the evangelical world.
In 1984, the Lord spoke to me, saying He would begin in Lethbridge the work to which He was calling me. And so it is. Where He is at work, the enemy is also at work.
Particle – A Three-Pronged Counter Weight to Harvest Haven
Remarkably, Harvest Haven Market Farm began as a commercial retail business dealing with organic foods and matters of health. On this front, we were simultaneously facing the beginning of the first organic store in Lethbridge, Or-Kids. Owner Cherie Petrie took offense with us from the start, which forced us to be her unwilling competition. We hadn’t intended to operate as a commercial operation similar to hers, hoping to do business with her. She didn’t see things that way and there was no reasoning with her.
Harvest Haven also began as an agricultural operation, dealing as a country market and U-pick farm. On this front, Paul De Jonge, owner of Broxburn Vegetables, simultaneously began a market farm and strawberry U-pick in a favorable location, one superior and in interference to ours for commercial purposes, just three miles from us. Paul immediately paid us a visit, accosting us as though we had no right to be what or where we were.
And Harvest Haven began as a spiritual enterprise, a community identified as one representing God and His interests. So what begins at the same time? CJIL (now The Miracle Channel), Canada’s first “Christian” television station. And they also came to us in opposition, planning to identify and condemn us as a dangerous cult.
What did the future hold in store for them and for us? It would be interesting, and you will know.
Who says there is no God?
Particle – The Proof Was There All the Time
As I review my journals to write this autobiography, I’m reminded and marvel that I knew what the Lord was telling and showing me long before I finally believed Him. I was so stuck on believing my wife, who, to my great shame, was my god. To be fair to myself, I also realize that God had His timetable of release from my prison of unbelief and darkness. In my turmoil, I questioned Marilyn’s interpretation of her prophecy (that I would be physically dying) and thought of several points that refuted its validity:
- Moses was told his offense, barring him from the promised land. The Lord never did tell me of any offense.
- If I was cut off from “entering the land” as was Moses, then how was it the others were in the land while I was still alive? They acted like they were in already in or at least entering victory, on the next stage of spiritual advancement while I was a remnant of the past, a nuisance still hanging around. Moses wasn’t alive when they went into Canaan. This supported my belief that the ministry to which I was called was in this life…no physical death necessary or determined.
- My dream of 1972 showed no physical death.
- Lois’ vision showed no death.
- The Old Testament lives were classical allegories, which we experience spiritually, as with Job. This included the death of Moses.
- My vision of being on the other side of a wall, and calling the others to come through, displayed that I “cross over” without a physical death.
- There were the unfulfilled prophecies, like starting the work in Lethbridge, slaying many, and being haled to other places.
- There was a lack of witness from others of Marilyn’s declaration of a physical demise.
- No males or elders had witness of her assertion. The example of Joseph not believing Mary when she heard from God that she would miraculously bear a child wasn’t legitimate. God did confirm the truth to Joseph. Furthermore, there was nothing said of some important ministry or calling for Joseph, which would necessitate revelation to him in their trials.
- Part of Marilyn’s prophecy was withheld – a good indication and practice of darkness.
- The withheld portion (that Marilyn would marry Sean) was contrary to God’s Law and will. One husband must go before another enters (Romans 7:1-3).
- The Lord spoke, saying, “You will not be dying. Will you believe Me?”
- What of Marilyn’s vision of the horse being let go into darkness and then the next vision of the horse returning home to the ranch from the hills with others? Didn’t it say I would return? Could I do that if I were to literally die?
- Was Moses cut off from his people before his death? Was his wife “betrothed” to another before he died? But it was evident I was not cut off in that I communicated with all and ministered to Marilyn.
- What of all the speculations and even the “Word from the Lord” predictions of my going at certain times like on the Feast of Tabernacles, “in 10 days,” “before last winter set in,” etc., and I’m still here? Indeed, there has been a death, but You, Lord, are coming to raise me up to a new calling, the likes of which is a new thing and heretofore not witnessed on earth that I’ve never heard of. What is it?
- Given many factors, several of which are not mentioned in this book, I suspect we are experiencing the ushering in and establishment of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ on earth, the former empires to be done away once and for all. I believe that is what is about to happen. If I’m to have a part in this, how can it be that I’m physically removed, unless it is as it was with Moses and Elijah meeting with Jesus on the mount though they had passed into the next world?
- What about Bob’s dream and the black rose? In that dream was an excitement and great anticipation. Do impending deaths cause such?
- Marilyn and I both agreed that in my remaining at the farm, I was headed for destruction. Why would the Lord remove me only to die?
- We went through a long period of good-byes to all, and for three nights, I went to bed expecting to die. Thereafter, the belief or expectation came and went. Does the Lord do things this way?
- Marilyn said that after Archie and his family were put away, as Moses put away the Midianites, I would go. Archie had been gone for a year, and I was still here. She has said many things that have turned out to be false.
- If Marilyn was so right, why did I have the vision of her and Sean eating her dung? She rejects that vision as not of God.
- Why did I awake one morning, seeing 50 common denominators and indications of evil with Sean? He feeds from her.
- Why did Marilyn so defend, praise, and worship Sean? Why did she incessantly snarl at her husband, who, she claims, has this great and glorious calling? Why was she always so defensive about Sean, the farm, and her work there, and so agitated when I intervened or “meddled”?
- What about the prophecies from Don Morrison, Mickey Patrick, Ernie Chadwick, and Theo in 1976? Must they not be fulfilled in this life?
- If the Lord was doing such a wonderful thing with me, as voiced by Marilyn herself, why was there so much strife and turmoil between us?
- If I was a father figure to Marilyn, why did she not believe and submit to me, as a daughter should?
- Why would Sean have such an antipathy toward me but “love” her and she him, if we were all in the Lord and he was to succeed me? Did Joshua despise Moses? Did Solomon despise David? Did Elisha despise Elijah? Did Timothy despise Paul?
- Would any successors claim the wives of those they succeeded? Would their wives declare the successors as husbands, even while their husbands were still alive?
Page 7 PART NINE - Signs of New Times (cont.) Particle - Lingering Pains and Troubles I awoke on January 27, 2001, troubled. I was still hurting from the two or three times Marilyn publicly stood with Sean against me. "You have all the Scriptures; we have nothing we can say in our defense, isn't that right, Sean?" she would say, standing by his side, interrupting me several times, venomously retorting. It was horrible. And I had never heard a word of true repentance. Lord, I had words come forth in the night, and this morning; it's like it's just not worth living. I've lived in torment for 55 years, ruled by greed, self-concern, pride, emotion, regret, and confusion. Oh, that I could have that new life, that we all could be in a constant peace, enjoying Your Presence, knowing absolutely that all is very good, experiencing it in every way. But we obey where we can, give thanks, and go by faith. It is ever a battle of faith. Battle? Has not the battle passed? Or was there a storm passed? Is there a difference? Are there two battles? Lord, You know all things. Particle - The Difference between Doubts and Things of Doubt I think that if I have any doubts, I must discern the difference between the necessity of putting away those doubts and putting away those things of which I have doubt. If I can discern between these two and obey, I'll have peace in the matter. "Lord, grant me to believe Your Word, which is Lig...
Page 17 PART TWO – Pentecost to Israel (cont.) Particle – Learning My Father's Business On more than one occasion, Aunt Hazel tried to tone me down in my zeal to speak to my family about the Lord. I recall speaking to my sister Barbara on the phone from Aunt Hazel's home. Barbara foolishly and ignorantly accused me of reading a prepared script to her. Hazel felt I shouldn't have been saying anything to her. She was right, and she was wrong. I wasn't ready to sow or reap, and my sister wasn't ready to receive. I was preachy. It seems to me it would have been better to just share my life's experience, if anything at all, and leave it at that. Or perhaps I simply should have walked away. Yet, as I now see it, babies must burp, gurgle, soil their diapers, fail, be disappointed, and learn by trial and error. It is part of the process in all of His creation. These things are natural and necessary. I must therefore conclude that, as awkward as I was, and as foolish as it appeared, it was good that I spoke – all part of His plan. Sadly, Barb would pay a horrific price for her opposition in time to come. Particle – Battling and Baffling the Baha'i There was an arts instructor at the technical institute in Dauphin who did some ceramics. I decided to meet with him to seek out possible benefits for ARC Industries. He was an Egyptian and a member of the Baha'i religion. He invited me to his home, so Marilyn and I visited him and his wife. They soon brought forth their b...
Page 11 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle – Archie to Open Up or Else I found myself incessantly having to get Archie to express himself. He was always withholding his thoughts. One day, Archie said the Lord spoke to him saying, “If you don't tell Victor what is going on, I'm going to send the devils in again.” I solemnly warned Archie to heed those words with all his heart, that it would be a great tragedy to go back to where he had been. For a time, it seemed he made the effort, confessing doubts, disagreement, and resentment toward me. Particle – Not Sparing the Rod Believing the counsel of Scripture to corporally discipline children where necessary, though not limited to physical chastisement, we moved Archie and Cathie to enforce spankings. There would be many spankings for all of the children. They were so often disobedient. I look back at those times in great regret. While we didn't witness the spankings, and didn't know their extent, we'd get reports from the children on occasion that they were sometimes severe. Did they do any good? God alone knows. It doesn't at all seem so. I do believe that unless punishment or discipline is administered with wisdom and love, it can do more damage than good. Particle – Golf There were times of stress with all of us in a small home and with Archie and Cathie resisting. Marilyn and I needed to get out. That winter was often mild enough to go golfing at Bridge Valley and Henderson Lake...