PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.)
I received a letter from Paul, confessing that he was bitter towards God for not having been given Sierra Wolfe for a wife, and that he had a hard time making contact with me – a “battle,” he called it. It was that bitterness that drove him to quit Davis Business Machines and go wandering, though, at the time, he had given other reasons. I found that I couldn’t respond, knowing he had a ways to go before we could get together again.
On February 19, 1998, Lois had the following prophecy:
“What is going on? This is the question being asked daily of My people. I hear their cry but could not answer because it was not completed. The work that is and has been done is nearing to a close and I will be free to then speak of the wonderful works which I have been preparing for My saints. My silence has been for your protection and your strength.
Behold, I come quickly, and I will minister to you all. Watch and wait and do not despair. Put your trust in Me. In My written Word, it is said that I go to prepare a place for you, that where I am you may be also. I have prepared a place for you and it will be revealed shortly. Again I say, watch and wait; do not despair.”
On so many occasions, the Lord admonished us to cease trying to understand what was going on. Everything was so strange, so bizarre, even evidently wrong and out of order, if not devilish, yet we were all given a hint of understanding that something was being worked out in ways we couldn’t begin to comprehend. In judging after the appearance, we would bring untold anxiety and suffering upon ourselves. Indeed, it often happened.
I talked to Mark, who came from Japan temporarily to “see me off”; I tried sharing what I believed was happening. There was no reception.
Seeing he had some experience with lathes and woodworking, I told him of a used lathe I nearly bought from a private party but didn’t, trying to get it for less. Mark said the chisels alone were worth the whole asking price. I felt terrible (there was covetousness rearing its ugly head again), not because I had been chintzy, but because I didn’t get the goods.
I wanted to talk to someone. I tried to comfort myself with Jonathan, but he had other interests and playmates. There was nobody. I felt so sad and alone that I wept. Then the Lord spoke:
“Why are you crying? So you lost a lathe. So your boy is selfish. All children are selfish. Do you not have everything you need? Were you not selfish with Me all these years? Didn’t you grow up finally to appreciate Me? Didn’t it all take time and suffering? And you’re afraid your son must suffer. He’ll never be kind to or considerate of anyone, and he will never love you as you would wish, as I have desired of you, unless he suffers.
So, as a physician performs an operation or dispenses bitter medicine to correct a problem, so must I with Jonathan. And as a cancer removed is something for which to be thankful, so will you be thankful when I am done. Be patient, consider your benefits, and be thankful. You have nothing to cry about.
Mark walks away acting superior, seeing your weaknesses; he has and will open his mouth about these things. He too is young and cocky and he too will be dealt with. I take care of all necessities, the proud and self-sufficient or satisfied I abase and humble.
What can you do? Haven’t you tried? Haven’t you failed? Is there any other choice but to leave everything in My hands? Son, relax and enjoy. I’ll give you a lathe, a gas stove, a plane, a city, a country, a continent, the earth! I’ve done it. Believe Me, it’s all yours, all things.”
Lois called immediately after and said all children were as Jonathan was with me. This was an unexpected confirmation of part of what I had just heard.
As Lois pondered what she should be seeing, the Lord promised her He would show her. Marilyn agreed that Lois heard from the Lord, but didn’t expect He would show her what I was expecting her to see.
The next day, Lois called to tell me she was seeing things. She saw that Sean is not after the Lord, but only after power – over the farm, over Marilyn, and over me. We talked, and I could not help sharing with her what I saw and believed.
Mark was also resisting Marilyn’s prophecies. He didn’t like what he saw with the way Sean and Marilyn were carrying on with each other, though he acknowledged he could be wrong.
I recalled the duties of a watchman. He must blow the trumpet with no uncertain sound. So far, I’ve been uncertain, not only wondering if I was wrong, but even believing Marilyn. Now comes the time of believing the Lord and sounding the warning trumpet certainly.
It occurred to me that Marilyn’s prophecy had come to pass. I died, and she did marry Sean. The final thing was for me to believe that I now had the “ministry like that of Moses” as Marilyn prophesied. I began to consider asking Marilyn for a divorce. The situation was looking unresolvable with irreconcilable differences.
Lois had once received a vision of my being a watchman on fortress walls. I too received that I was a watchman for the others. These are the elements of a watchman’s responsibilities:
He is alone.
He can feel like he’s doing nothing while everyone else is busy.
He can’t be involved in any of their activities.
He can’t even watch them or be preoccupied.
He must face outwardly to where the enemy may approach.
The whole city or garrison can perish if he doesn’t do his job.
The watchman deserves to die if he doesn’t do his part.
When Mark left the farm to come and visit me at my home for a day or two, Sean complained that he felt shortchanged. He had told Mark that the sooner I was gone, the better. Sean chafed when Marilyn asked Mark questions about farm business. When Lois told Sean Marilyn had a right to know as owner, being responsible to me for her duties there, he responded, “I totally disagree, case closed! I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”
Sean reminded me of the keepers of the vineyard of Luke 20, who rejected and abused the owner’s servants and finally killed the owner’s son when he was sent to collect the fruits. I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, “You shall see Me no more henceforth, until you shall say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the Name of the Lord,’” and, “He that receives you, receives Me, and he that rejects you rejects Me.” Was Sean not conducting himself in a manner that these words condemn? Surely. If we were the Lord’s, could he escape consequences with such an attitude?
On February 23, 1998, I delivered the lengthy prophecies I had for each of the people there. Marilyn insisted on it when she found out about them, though I didn’t tell her what they were.
We prayed, talked, and had great struggles. I wondered if I had heard correctly from the Lord. The next day, we were on the phone with Sean, Mark, and Lois. I told Mark to tell everyone else that I stood on those prophecies, right or wrong.
Sean confessed sexual thoughts concerning Marilyn, yet justified himself in having them, in light of her prophecy and their convictions, as though he had a right to those thoughts because “she was his wife.” But, then, why confess?
Marilyn began to confess her feelings of bitterness towards God and me. She spoke of having wanted to see her mother and was very angry at me that I had cut things off between them. Lois felt that Marilyn and Jonathan should go and see her mother. I agreed to it. Then when I said I was beginning to see these prophecies with Trevor, Sean, and Lois being fulfilled, Marilyn became angry and retreated.
Each of them soon reported spiritual attacks at the farm house – Lois, Marilyn, and Sean once each, and Mark twice. In the Name of the Lord, I came against the spirits. Though the attacks subsided considerably, they didn’t cease entirely.
Marilyn and I had prayer and a talk in the middle of the night. In conclusion:
Marilyn was responsible for the operation of the farm;
I was separated unto the Lord as priest and prophet;
We were all to wait on the Lord;
We were to go about our business in our respective duties;
We were to mind only what we know and to refrain from trying to understand what is happening with us. Many times we were told this.
As Samuel had no business helping in the war with the Philistines, and Saul had no business offering up sacrifice, presuming to perform Samuel’s duties, so we are to each mind our own business and not despise one another’s positions. Obeying, there would be order and harmony; disregarding these principles, there would be chaos and confusion.
Kerri called about a commercial dough mixer we had, which she wanted to use in the tiny bakery and café she was developing in Great Falls called “Neighbors.” She revealed that she and Paul were together again. Paul had written me asking what I meant about fornication in their relationship as a married couple, but he didn’t tell me they were reunited. Kerri insisted they were man and wife. I had nothing to say to them and wasn’t interested in making anything happen. Instead of divorcing Kerri, Paul was divorcing the Lord, those at the farm, and me.
On March 3, 1998, I had a vision. I saw a tree spade with a large tree in it, about three or four feet off the ground, in the process of being moved for transplanting. One of the main taproots had been severed. It seemed like a death, and certainly was a shock to the tree as it was taken out of its established and comfortable elements to new and strange circumstances. I knew I was that tree, and it had happened.
This was not a case of the tree dying, but of being moved. It was not an uprooting, but a transplanting. However, a transplantation can be like death – shocking, possibly some main roots severed, the tree made subject to a new environment and set back for a time.
While Sean’s father, Bob Fife, visited with us at the farm on March 3, 1998, Marilyn had to break out and tell him he didn’t have the Spirit of God and therefore couldn’t comprehend what was going on with us. Bob was somewhat offended. At that time, she had a vision, wherein she hit a rock with a hammer. It had been hit in the right place; however, it remained unchanged for moments before shattering in many pieces.
I didn’t know what to make of things Marilyn was seeing, feeling, and speaking as though of the Lord. I was learning to be skeptical. Of Bob Fife at that time, I heard these strangest of words, “He is a damn good churchman.”
What is one to make of such words that seem so profane, coming from the Lord?
On the morning of March 4th, after 4 AM, it seemed like my life system shut down as I lay in bed, and I began to float downward into darkness and oblivion. I said, “This is it!” I thought of the Lord and my first reaction was to begin to thank Him, but with some effort and apprehension. It didn’t seem as just a “twinkle” – as Marilyn described it would be – as a drop of water in a hot flame. Then I wondered, “What about Jonathan here at home without Marilyn?” He was with me while she was at the farm. “What happens to him if I die while he’s alone with me?”
I was conscious, but my whole body seemed to shut down. I began to slowly float downward like a balloon settling on the floor. From a standing position, my legs had come up at first until I was horizontal. Though I was physically laying down, spiritually it seemed I wasn’t. All sound also faded out, as when one is immersed in water.
It seemed that for a few seconds, I was dead, but then I revived. A while later, the same thing happened again. Even oblivion felt good. But how can oblivion feel good without consciousness? It was mysterious, somewhat scary and sad.
I calculated that this happened 40 days from the time Dad and Uncle appeared to me, asking my forgiveness. Did I experience a death for them in proxy or as a substitute in Christ for each of them? It did happen twice and it was connected to their appearance by the 40 days. There are things happening in the spiritual realm we have no clue about, being totally beyond our understanding.
I was constantly struggling with dependence on people rather than looking to the Lord as our Source. Yet each time someone left, like Cathie, then Archie, Ben and Erin, then Danny, hired hand Hugh Lumley, then Paul and Kerri, and finally Chris and Nathan, things only got better. Who could have imagined? How could one person do the work of three? But it was always better and the work wasn’t cut back; instead, there was frequently more added. Now I was struggling with the possible loss of one more person, the alleged manager, no less. How could we possibly manage if he left?
Sean did the books, supervised all departments and activities, worked in all areas, and was involved in all of the decisions in consultation with Marilyn. While she was supposed to have the authority, he sought and succeeded to have the final word. Furthermore, the thought of Sean’s leaving was unimaginable to her. As far as she was concerned, if he left, the farm was done for.
But Sean continued to be that selfish, miserable, self-centered wretch, wanting all attention, respect, preeminence, and power. Lois had a description of his attitude speaking in these words: “You do as I say and I’ll do as I please.”
Notwithstanding his conduct and attitude, I was afraid that if he were to leave, all would be lost. I couldn’t see anyone else taking charge. In that kind of thinking and fear, I was ever reticent to confront or correct Sean in any way. At the same time, the predominant fact (and command) was that I was to leave the affairs to Marilyn and him. I had to let it all happen.
“Today, Lord, I release myself of Sean. If You will, take him and remove him quickly. Please forgive us for setting him up as indispensable. Forgive us, Father. Let the farm go, if need be, but don’t let our souls go. We have looked to man. No More.”
Lois had two visions of Sean. In the first, she saw him sitting on a throne with unkempt robe and a crown askew on his head. He had an arrogant, silly look on his face. It was the vision of a fool.
In the second, he was on a throne that was tottering side to side. An eagle sat on one side of the back of it, calmly watching. Suddenly, Sean got up and ran away.
“Blood, fire, and smoke mingle… it is war, war such as never was nor will ever be again. Woe to the earthly inhabitant! It is a day of great tribulation, sorrow, and pain – the pains of the forthcoming of a new creation! What a turbulent, convulsive time this is… short in duration, but great in intensity. Blessed are those who endure unto the end, because few they be and powerless in themselves to prevail. Many are the casualties, never to rise again, except the Lord should raise them up.
The day of rest comes with the most pain and trouble of all. Feet stamping, swords flashing, shields smashing, teeth gnashing, for very life they fight to the death – this is that war, that great, great war to determine all things. Down is the enemy cast forth from the presence and throne of God. Usurpers are found out, exposed, and with violence thrust out to regions below where they belong, but even there for but a short duration because enemies will be forbidden to dwell anywhere.
The besom of destruction will sweep away every lie, every unclean thing. There will not be one stone left unturned, or one crack ignored or overlooked, as the Lord purges all to make an end of all evil, of every particle of leaven that could defile.
In the days of Noah, Ham remained; in the days of David, Absalom remained; in the days of Solomon, desire remained to pollute and defile; but in this Last, Great Day, no evil will remain. The wolf will eat grass, the lion will lie down, yes, has lain down, with the lamb, and in all of the land of the Lord, in all His holy mountain, there will be no more fear of evil near at hand or from within.
The Lord will seize the scepters from out of the hands of the shameful, the mockers, the usurpers, the vain, and the proud, and will clothe the humble and faithful with the robes of those that rule. Glory shall be upon the heads of the righteous and faithful, their faces shining with the oil of God and with His joy, no more to be stained with tears of sorrow and sweat of turmoil and toil.
Blessed be the Name of Jesus and blessed be the names of those He dispatches for the judgment and good of the nations everywhere. He who rejects that emissary of God curses himself and banishes himself to everlasting fire prepared for fools and adversaries.
Why do devils mock and fools take no heed? Because they will not see beyond themselves, being a law unto themselves, limiting the Holy One, Who conceals Himself from the unbelieving, the boastful, the resisters.
As a shepherd divides the sheep from the goats, so the Lord divides the submissive from the resistive. Who has seen the Lord? Who can say what He does or what He is like? Those who deny themselves and strive for peace, those who lie down to the evil, baring their backs to the smiters, those who do not resist the chastening rod, these are the ones who see the Lord. The saints of the Lord say, ‘Thy will, not mine be done,’ and devils say, as they battle against Michael and angels, ‘My will, not yours be done.’
Devils choose to rule, to ascribe wisdom to themselves, to be served, honored, and glorified. They wish nothing but to reign – to reign is their desire, their goal, their motivation for all they do and say.
The righteous seek to be ruled, ascribing wisdom to God. The former have their thrones forbidden, but the righteous reign with the Lord of lords, acknowledging that He alone is worthy and not they.
Persevere, all you who trust in the Lord, and know He is faithful and able to save to the uttermost, which only He can. Is anything too hard for the Lord? Has He not created all things? Is anything in His creation out of His control? Is there a higher power than He? Though the sky flees and the earth is removed, still He sends His angels to deliver and sustain those who are His, those He chooses to keep.
Yes, there is sorrow for the chastened, suffering for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness. Their consciences are pained and exercised so that all endurance must be summoned. The rebellious reject out of hand any and all things that are an offense to, and out of keeping with, their desires; they see their desire in the short term, despising patience; they look at the outward, scorning faith; to them, gain is godliness. The righteous are given to lose not so that they might gain for themselves only, but that good may come and the will of God be done.
Come out of your prisons, you captives! Is it not the time of your release? Is this not the day that the Lord has made? Is this not the day of His crowning? Shall He not show mercy on This, His Great Day of Glory? Surely! Can He celebrate victory while His own are bound and imprisoned? But the day of His rejoicing is also the day for yours and not only of rejoicing but reward, redemption.
Freedom alone is not enough, but there is a purpose for the freedom, which is unveiled for all of creation’s benefit and redemption. Your honor shall be according to the honor of the Lord. Those who honor Him shall be honored; those who dishonor Him shall be dishonored.
Blast the trumpets! Let their sounds resound throughout the earth, beginning at Lethbridge. Now has the foundation been laid, the battle lines have been drawn, the enemies have been notified. The enemies have also prepared for battle, their foundations laid and preparations made. They come with hissing and great vehemence; their intent to destroy utterly all things pertaining to you, including you.
Never have preparations been made for such a great battle now set in array. The enemy is eager to destroy; it is in their nature to destroy and in their nature to destroy you in particular. But as the enemies choose and desire, so will it be to them and more. I, the Lord, will fight for you and in your stead. It is My pleasure to do away with My enemies and yours at long last.
Break forth into singing and rejoicing, all you lands in bondage. Redemption at the hands of the sons of God, My sons, is here. Already the Word goes forth from Lethbridge to prevail to the uttermost, accomplishing all it was sent forth to do. This is My Day, your Day, the Day of Power, wherein the Kingdom of Heaven is established in the earth. Fire and blood and smoke mingle, but a river of life springs forth to water a dry and parched land, and all its inhabitants. This is the Year of Redemption. ”
I can count many losses financially, but I seldom count the gains. I focus on what has been taken, not on what has been given me. I can be given a million dollars, have ten stolen from me, and fret about what was stolen. We need to learn to count our blessings. Why do we need to learn to count our blessings while mourning our losses comes naturally, without any practice? The flesh can’t be satisfied or pacified any more than a bottomless bucket can be filled.
I’m bitter toward Marilyn and Sean, but have You not done these things, Lord? Have You not taken my wife and given her to another? Shall I complain or be bitter? If I’m bitter, then it’s toward You. You’ve commanded that I let things happen, but in my attitude, I haven’t done so, obviously… and I can’t.
Do You want me to smile and jump up and down with joy, crying jubilantly, “My wife has been given to another man who despises me!”? My wife flaunts her love for him in my face and he has love of her before me, and I’m to sing for joy? My wife says I should have no problem with that because You’ve done it. When the lash comes on my back, shall I smile?
I’m bitter, yes, bitter. Mutuals, thieves, raw deals, cheats, losses, hurts, errors, failures, destruction, weaknesses, isolation, betrayal; yes, I’m bitter.
Promises, promises – carrots dangling, disappointment, hope after hope dashed, mirages, empty clouds.
Tests – I fail every time, accompanied with egg on my face, delusion, disillusion, defeat, shame, humiliation, false hopes – more trials, more evil, more sadness, despair, depression, strife, listlessness, and disunity.
Hell and death, anguish, fear, worries, regret, ignorance, foolishness, darkness, guessing, foolish imaginations, vain hopes, stupidity, damnation, curses, hatred, pressure.
Faults, sins, and bad habits remain; sorrow and sorrow again; void of pleasure and full of pain.
A man can be so rich and yet so poor. I don’t want to be anything anymore.
Yesterday I saw what I’ve been verbalizing for many years – that we try and try to be good, right, and righteous, and fail miserably. I see that we are meant to try and fail. I’ve done what was meant – to try and fail; but why?
God, I’m bitter toward You and You’ll condemn me for it. Why not? I recognize that I’ve lived for 26 years or more, trying to be right, succeed, know what is what, and prosper by it… all in vain. I am shit.
Yet, there’s something there – the man of faith – whatever. I never or seldom see him. Mostly, I see this other bugger, who does anything he pleases and cannot help but do evil. God, I murmur.
Marilyn and I both felt terrible. I asked the Lord to open my eyes. Then Lois called, and she and Marilyn were talking, speculating, introspecting, analyzing, and worrying. Lois in particular was trying to dig things up to feed her addiction for excitement and sensationalism. I called them back, rebuking and admonishing them to stop it all and obey the Lord Who said: “Go about your business, stop figuring things out, don’t judge after the appearance, put away the old, and damn your self-analysis and introspection.”
That settled it. He answered my prayer, opening my eyes. The troubling and desolation immediately disappeared for both Marilyn and me.
On March 10, 1998, I received two things:
One, that Trevor would be receiving a significant and wonderful revelation soon; and two, that Sean would be struggling, perceiving that he wasn’t going to receive that which he had been waiting, hoping, and striving for – me out of the way with him in control and authority over everything. Even now, he struggled with the thought of my not dying as Marilyn has prophesied I would.
Then Trevor called, saying he received that March 18th was the end of the old and March 28th was the beginning of the new. He said that I would be able to move freely, not bound or limited by time or space, appearing and disappearing at will, anywhere, with anyone, instantly. I expect he didn’t take the prophecy literally; it was figurative.
I told Marilyn her prophecy of my death wouldn’t be fulfilled physically and that Trevor’s prophecy agreed with what I was saying. She didn’t believe me. What Trevor didn’t know (nor did anyone else) was the year of his prophecy. When the immediate 18th and the 28th came, there was nothing noticeable or significant that I could tell. However, the matter of time and space was manifesting itself, as one will see.
Kerri called, confessing she hated Lois and Sean, though not with repentance. She also had criticisms of Paul, saying he had said many foolish things. He and she were together again.
I rebuked her, and I let Paul have it in her ears, as well. I told her they were contrary to God and His authorities, murmuring and backbiting. I said that she was fork-tongued and that Paul was incapable of almost anything, including wiping his own nose.
Frankly, as I understood it, his ways stank, and unless he repented of them, there was no way I would ever want to have anything more to do with him.
On the night of March 15, 1998, I dreamt there was a debate among some persons as to what to do about my carnal man or me – to change me and keep me in this world, or to take me and change me in the next. I was objectively involved in this discussion. It was business-like, not emotional or negative, much like I feel the discussion on the mount of transfiguration was between Moses, Elijah, and Jesus, wherein they discussed His appointment at Jerusalem. This discussion about my fate seemed to be a dream, yet not.
Immediately after this, I dreamt that Chris and Nathan had returned to the farm, presumptuously, expecting me to receive them back gladly, which I did not. Chris was agitated, fretful, and angry at my reaction.
After this dream, two things came to me: 1) We were trying to get people to accept the true value of food against the present tide. We must wait for the Lord to change things and not expect an immediate payoff. 2) We were trying to find ways to deal with governmental oppression, taxes, and regulations, etc. I knew we needed to comply and the Lord would compensate and protect us.
Jonathan had a vision of me at about 1 p.m. on March 15th during his naptime. The scene was one fully white with light, except for me. I was bowing from the waist, but Jonathan couldn’t see to whom.
This vision seemed related to the dream I had the night before. The interpretation I had was that I was honoring the Truth, the Lord.
On March 17, 1998, I had this vision: As a boy, I was bringing my food problem like an object in my hand to my Father (the Lord), knowing that He would take care of it for me. He took me instead, and that automatically solved the problem. He was seated, tall, and lanky; I, the boy, was also lanky, somewhat like Jonathan, only a bit older. Jonathan was going on seven at the time.
Forty days after my 10-day fast, on March 18, 1998, Marilyn confronted me on my fears of governmental authorities. I had red an article in a farm magazine about unreasonable government regulations and was disturbed. At first, I was upset at Marilyn, but then we prayed and I confessed the fear. I believe it went back to my childhood days when Cy Puls, the health inspector for our dairy operation, visited our farm. I also recall when Revenue Canada sent the young zealot to strike me with fear over an error H&R Block made in my returns in 1972.
My fear was not so much of punishment for wrongdoing, as of injustice, tyranny, and oppression from those in power, be they civil servants, lawyers, law enforcement, medical system, the religious, or any other persons or groups who had official or unofficial powers to exercise as they chose, while I was helpless to do anything.
It hadn’t occurred to me that the fault was with me in that I feared. It doesn’t matter if the authorities are right or wrong; I needn’t fear. Is God not the Ultimate Authority? Jesus said, “All power and authority has been given Me in Heaven and earth….” How is it I should fear if the earth is my footstool as I reign with Jesus Christ on His throne?
On this very day of my deliverance from that fear, Revenue Canada called to cancel and refund penalties and approve our books. Sean had erred, we were penalized, I appealed, and they reversed their decision – all on this very day!
Who says there is no God?