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PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.)

ParticleI Make Jonathan Ill

Around July 12th, Jonathan and I worked on landscaping in the hot weather. I was demanding of him and didn’t pay attention to his needs for rest and water, not believing his complaints, not that he did much of that. He fell ill. I didn’t realize until days after the work and well into his illness that he had been dehydrated and suffered heat stroke. His body was so hot, and he was so ill.

Oh, how I have hated myself for all the times I’ve hurt him! How strange that though I had the desire to protect him, I so often did the very opposite. I asked the Lord to heal him. Two days later, Jonathan was reviving.

My idolatry of Jonathan was killing him. God was not well pleased with my affection for him. At least that is my explanation for why I, in brutishness and ignorance, have done him so much harm without intent or deliberate effort.

ParticlePaul Confesses Hating Me

On July 13th, Paul faxed me a note from Montana, confessing how he had hated me. Admitting it to himself, it was gone, he said. He went on to talk about the Feast of Tabernacles, the time of restoration. He likened it to the Lord coming to the Feast secretly in John 7. He was so right. I faxed him back, agreeing.

But I was angry at his confession and brought up all the things that made sense in light of it, the things that indicated he had been bitter toward me for some time. I still felt like he was at enmity with me. Marilyn received that he was our enemy. Strange that she would have received something like that of Paul, considering how she conducted herself with me. Did it not occur to her?

ParticleResurrection Reigns Replete

The Lord spoke to me of His being the Resurrection. To the unbelieving, losses are irretrievable and failures irreversible, but to those who believe, we have hope in all things because of the truth, the present reality of the Resurrection.

The Lord was “too late” for Lazarus. Each day is filled with myriads of dead Lazaruses, but each day is also filled with myriads of resurrections or, rather, the Resurrection. Seed falls and produces a new plant; the sun sets to rise again; we tire, rest, and are re-energized; the sick get healed; we face needs each day, and each day needs are met; we are ignorant, and we learn; one thing goes, and its replacement comes; seasons, cycles, and reproductions – all displaying the Resurrection, the One by Whom “all things consist.”

People who die will revive. Even the nation of Israel was raised from the ashes after 1900 years and, in short order, attained to, and even surpassed, the power and accomplishment of many nations larger in size that have been around for centuries.

ParticleThe Lord’s Coming

How has the Lord’s coming been manifested or declared to me?

One, as children, we enacted the crucifixion of Jesus, with Archie and Barb crucifying me as the Lord. It was my idea. Do many children do that?

Two, the Lord Jesus Christ appeared in a dream in 1972, the first time He made Himself known to me. In that dream, a man was walking with Him in His “coming.”

Three, shortly after I received repentance, Don Hafichuk said to me sarcastically, “You think you’re a little Jesus!”

Four, once when praying and asking the Lord for Prince Albert, the Lord said, “I have given you the whole world.”

Five, my song, The Flutterby, prophesies of His coming in me, without my knowing it. Nobody sees or understands, not even I. Yet it keeps coming again and again. I believe it.

Six, there are the great prophecies that came forth from Carroll Vance, Jim Flynn, Mickey Patrick, Don Morrison, and the Sioux believer from South Dakota.

Seven, Dave Roberts remarked to me, saying in a taunting manner, “I suppose you’re the two witnesses.” This was unprovoked and out of context of anything discussed at the time – an unusual remark.

Eight, Archie had a rare insight into my spiritual being, unseen by others, though his insight was given by devils, I believe. Devils saw and confessed things of Jesus that most people couldn’t see (Matthew 8:29; Mark 5:7; Luke 8:28).

Nine, Marv Isom prophesied in Dauphin in 1977 that, “This place will be famous”; he saw a vision of my heart as that of a shepherd under the authority of the Shepherd, the Lord Jesus and His heart.

Ten, Marilyn had the vision of my entering the Golden Gate in the east wall of Jerusalem with Israeli government officials and businessmen.

Eleven, in 1984 (12 years after the dream in 1972 of His coming), the Lord revealed to me that I was that man of my 1972 dream, walking with the Lord.

Twelve, without being told, Delores knew who was that second man with the Lord, as did Kerri.

Thirteen, He once spoke saying, “To other men at other times have I given the throne, but today I give you the throne. As I gave the throne to Solomon, so I give it to you…. You are My Solomon in this day.”

Fourteen, the Lord said that I was the Sabbath, His last and final day, that He took up His abode in me, resting in me, and I in Him.

Fifteen, once in the mid-eighties, when I told Lois I was the “second coming” of the Lord, she received a witness and marveled, rejoicing. This was only temporary, as I am sure it was with Peter, who, by the Father, saw that Jesus was the Christ. Not that I am the Christ; I’m not. Jesus is and He alone, but I come with Him as His prime ambassador in this day.

Sixteen, meeting Sandy McClimens but for a few minutes at Moon River in 1988, she asked me if I was God’s emissary. Only the week before, she said she received that God came, or would come, in a man. I affirmed that I was His emissary.

Seventeen, once when Anders Neu and Quinn Van Liere harassed us on the phone, they asked me if I was the “second coming.” When the police questioned me on the phone calls, I spoke as though I denied the Lord was coming by me, though I didn’t directly deny it; nevertheless, I felt bad about doing that.

Eighteen, Danny Hafichuk had a dream in 1996 that indicated that what was happening was the biggest event in several centuries.

Nineteen, there are our various July 10th events (Day of Atonement).

Twenty, there is Bob Gregson’s dream of me as a “very important personage.”

Twenty One, I have been hated by all – no one else I know of has been hated among us as I have, often inexplicably so. I am always “the issue,” the lightning rod.

Twenty Two, there are all the timings as recorded; big things are happening.

Twenty Three, I have always felt personally identified with these Scriptures: “Is any so blind as My servant?” (Isaiah 42:19), as humbling as it is; and, “He shall magnify the Law, and make it honorable” (42:21).

ParticleSean a Bastard

It was quite obvious to me that Sean cared only about himself. He sulked when he wasn’t glorified, pacified, praised, honored, loved, obeyed, catered to, listened to, or agreed with. I once called him something and he insisted I called him a bastard. I was right. He refused any correctional judgment.

Marilyn and I were in horrid strife. Any form or degree of criticism of her concerning the farm caused an instant flare-up from which I must jump back or get burned. I dared not criticize her handling of the farm, and if I criticized Sean especially, I touched the apple of her eye… both of them.

Perhaps I deserved some of the blame because she said that I expressed myself dogmatically, without tolerance, mercy, or patience.

I wrote: “Marilyn, if Sean does not change, repent, and he leaves, you’re free to go with him because this I know, you’ll never be happy with me – our marriage is finished. You go. I fully expect that if he left and you stayed, I’d have the most miserable creature to live with that one could imagine. Your remaining here would do nobody justice or service of any kind, least of all God; your legalism in remaining would mean nothing to Him and certainly nothing to me.”

I spoke to Marilyn of the Lord’s coming in me. We battled for the good part of the day, but there was a wrestling with God over this truth even in me – so hard to believe, impossible to understand.

ParticleLois’ Vision: Horse Leading Others

On July 19, 1998, Lois had a vision of a large sandy-colored horse with a long blond mane and fair face, leading a great herd of horses. She saw them in a “V” formation, he being in the lead, running with purpose.

ParticleMarilyn’s Vision: Calf with No Sense of Atmosphere

Curiously, on the same day, Marilyn had a vision of a calf the same color as Lois’s horse. It stood looking up, with “no sense of atmosphere” as Marilyn put it. I believed I was both the horse and the calf.

ParticlePaul’s Apology

On July 21, 1998, Paul wrote:

Your fax arrived last Tuesday and I thought surely you were wrong. Oh, how wrong I have been! I have found out this past week the truth about my attitude and stance. I feel so, so sorry. I am so sorry. I have been your enemy; I have nurtured myself in independence, as separate. What a lie! I have no life independently – NONE. My life is with God, which is, or Who is, with you. I’m not just talking about the way things are, but what is, when all the sins and other gods are disposed of. The true desire of my heart. It is to be your friend and do your bidding.

I can tell you that the one thing I know is true, that you were wrong about, is that I intended to hurt you with the statement I made about Sean and Marilyn. I never intended to hurt you there or anywhere else.

I don’t know if you can forgive me but I believe you will if you can. I want to do whatever, anything I can to be with you. That is all that matters to me.

If you have anything you can or want to say you can fax me today or tomorrow around noon. Otherwise, I will be in touch again soon (unless you tell me otherwise). Paul

Particle Fife Faints and Falters

Lois called with concern for Sean, saying he was suffering serious memory lapses. They had all been under great pressure with so many responsibilities. It was decided that Sean should come to our home at Moon River and rest. This happened to be on Day 666 from the day of Marilyn’s prophecy of September 24, 1996.

I spent the day with Sean and found him to be very indecisive, realizing that Marilyn was making the decisions while he could only implement them. It occurred to me that the day was approaching when Sean would need to change or leave.

I told him Marilyn’s 3-part prophecy was spiritual and that the parts were fulfilled, the first part about my being taken, and the second of my having a ministry like Moses. I was mistaken in that, however, as well as in the third part, telling him it had also been fulfilled of him and Marilyn marrying, even if not in physical consummation.

After being presumptuous in many matters and eating all the ice cream, Sean returned to the farm after a day. There, Marilyn convinced him I was wrong (and in a way I was, but not in the way she thought). She insisted that the prophecies would not be fulfilled until Sean believed them.

What? Is God’s Prophetic Word wholly dependent on believing hearts receiving it to be fulfilled? Doesn’t that notion effectively and conditionally transfer ultimate power from the Creator to the creature?

Sean called me and said he was standing on all Marilyn’s prophecies and that they must yet be literally fulfilled. Believing that, he said, his mind cleared.

Ironically, I was glad I hadn’t convinced Sean, but was able instead, even if unintentionally, to “let it happen,” as I had been commanded three times. Furthermore, if Marilyn was right and the prophecy of having a glorious ministry such as that of Moses was not yet fulfilled, I had very much to look forward to.

Particle Marilyn’s Dream: Prison Escapee

Marilyn had a strange dream on the night of July 26, 1998. She was confronted with a man wearing light blue prison garb coming into our midst, who had escaped from another realm and was not supposed to be there with us. He had “cast a mist” on others so that they could not know what he was all about or see that he was with them.

He disappeared and Marilyn asked the Lord to open her eyes so she could see him. She saw him proceeding to make himself comfortable on a beach among the people there. She then began to walk toward him with hands outstretched, saying, “In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, go back to where you came from.” She said he was an evil man and she had the impression that his time in prison was not yet completed.

Marilyn believed the man was Paul. I saw that it was Sean, though that wouldn’t explain her commanding him in the Name of the Lord to leave, but then commanding Paul in such manner to leave wouldn’t make any more sense. In her present state, Sean could think, say, or do no wrong. She worshipped the ground his foot touched. I had my breath taken away with incredulity at her blatant, contradictory partiality of, and blindness to, him. Had he not cast a spell on us? Had he not “made himself comfortable” with us, to the extent of taking over everything?

Had Paul ever done any such thing, even in part? Was she right about the man being Paul? Didn’t both Paul and Lois receive an identical verse of Sean, independently of each other, which agreed with this dream being of Sean?

The others and I also had been blind to Sean and his ways. He despised Marilyn, her ways, and her beliefs, yet said he loved her as a wife. He despised Lois, as well as the others. He was flippant, caring about nothing and nobody but himself.

There was no fear of God in his heart, only fear of God’s judgment on his wickedness. With that fear, he displayed a dedicated effort to escape, rather than to accept, the judgment. Indeed, he wanted the best of both worlds, though he spoke and appeared otherwise. He called Paul’s letter of apology to me “pitiful.” While I could understand the carnal man seeing it that way, I saw humility manifest in Paul that is found among saints, but entirely foreign and contemptible to the proud and wicked.

Les Mills called saying he saw Sean as one after the mastery without apprenticeship. In other words, he was after the throne without the cross, a thief and robber coming up some other way (John 10:1), dining at the banquet without a wedding garment (Matthew 22:12). Was this not representative of the stranger in Marilyn’s dream? Was he not the one of whom I prophesied, saying he would come as an angel and leave as a devil? Lois expected his fall to be imminent, saying it would be up to Marilyn to send him away.

Particle Visit with Paul at Glacier

Paul faxed me on July 29, 1998, telling me how he was going through a successful process of forsaking Kerri. He also informed me that his neighbor, Deborah Speyer, a 47-year old single Jewish lady, invited him to her cabin at Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park in Montana, ostensibly afraid to be there by herself, having suffered a break-in and robbery in India, where she lived much of the time. He invited me to join him for a few days. I decided to go, and Marilyn was troubled about it. Jonathan would come with me.

We headed up on the 31st for the weekend. Paul did most of the talking. We did some hiking and canoeing, and Deborah made us an East Indian breakfast. We shared with her about God and faith. She wasn’t interested; on the contrary, she was quite challenged, but we knew that seeds were planted to bear fruit in the future.

ParticleThe Lord Tells Me Three Things

On the day we left for the US, the Lord told me He had done three things for us: one, He paid for and pardoned all our sins; two, He delivered us from the power of sin so that we were no longer prisoners of it; and three, He granted us to reign with Him. This I likened to a governor pardoning a criminal, setting him free, and then inviting him to be governor with him. Amazing! This I felt to share with Marilyn to be shared with the farm.

Why would I do that? There was a need to do so.

ParticleSon’s Pain the Father’s

When back in Lethbridge, while having another argument with Marilyn, I said to her, “Go! Get out!” repeatedly; I was so angry with her. Jonathan was there and interpreted the words to mean, “Get out completely, permanently!” which wasn’t the intended meaning. I thought Marilyn knew what I meant yet allowed Jonathan to think as he did, and this enraged me when I saw Jonathan crying and pleading, so much so that I began to mean the interpretation he had believed.

Jonathan proceeded to go back and forth as arbiter, mediating, firmly and intelligently. It hurt so to see him suffer. Marilyn was so hard, so very hard. I cried perceiving her hardness. As they left for the farm, she was as hard as steel – cold and impersonal – it was the face I saw in both the 1976 dream and the 1997 vision. Very disturbing, almost frightening – so hard, so hard….

I often asked myself if I was responsible for her hardness. Had my brutishness produced this fruit? More importantly, I asked the Lord, but He didn’t reveal anything to me, though He had spoken to me of so many other matters.

ParticleThe God of Self-Sufficiency

On the morning of August 11th, I awoke feeling my attitude to the farm, gathering people to it and promoting self-sufficiency, was idolatrous. In it all, I was looking for fulfillment, security, provision, and satisfaction, but ended up greatly frustrated. To so many, the “good, clean, simple, quiet life” on a farm or acreage, growing one’s own food, is an idol. To idolaters, a farm is turned into a nightmare. As a result of that idolatry, I’d lost everything, including my family and my marriage. I thanked the Lord for this revelation.

ParticleAccepting Marilyn’s Marriage to Sean

Marilyn praised and adored Sean as a hero, a god, though he had no use for me whatsoever. I told Marilyn that seeing as how I was supposed to be as good as dead, she loved Sean emotionally, romantically, and wistfully, and her prophecy said they would marry, that we should simply get on with it… the sooner the better.

The wait for my death had already been nearly two years. From the beginning, however, she was constantly declaring it to be in days. Marilyn considered divorce for the first time as a viable option, seeing the possibility that my death would not be a literal one. How darkened and contradictory in reasoning can one possibly be? One must break God’s commandment to obey Him?!

We decided that we both had to accept her marrying Sean even though I was alive (which marrying she had little problem with). The hardest part for me would be if I were expected to continue in continuous fellowship with them thereafter. “This,” I said, “would be worse than eating dog droppings off the lawn publicly.” I said I wouldn’t do it. “Divorce, if need be, yes, but don’t expect me to enjoy having my nose rubbed in it for a moment, never mind constantly.”

Marilyn pointed out that I never did want a wife, children, money, house, or farm. I had asked God not to give me those things, having some fear I might lose them, so… He gave me these things so that I might come through my fears. She said she could always see that I was His and that I desired nothing but Him, truly. How then could she be so right and I so wrong?

Realizing that the Lord could give me grace to endure anything, knowing that His rewards far outweigh the cost and that I wanted, above all, to walk with Him, I resigned and accepted even this last scenario of them marrying while I was alive. “Lord, You have my consent and, by Your grace alone, I both give it and submit to the reality. Frankly, I can’t see how I can possibly do it but by Your grace.”

On the heels of this submission and the revelation on farming and self-sufficiency, I received more revelation and wrote Agriculture – Abel’s Occupation.

ParticleSeptember ‘96 in The Bible Code

Reading The Bible Code by Michael Drosnin, I found it interesting that he said September 1996 would be the beginning of the “End of Days.” Marilyn was interested too, of course, and related her apparent vindication to Sean, intimately, passionately, and whisperingly.

This provoked me to tell Jonathan that she loved Sean more than me. He argued that it wasn’t true. I said, “Ask her if you want.” He asked, pressed her, and wouldn’t relent. She tried to evade his question, but finally said, “I love Dad more.”

“See, Dad? I told you. Mom wouldn’t lie to me.”

“She once lied to me, son.”

“She loves you more, Dad. I know it…. Dad, I just had a prophecy.”


“Do you want to hear it, Dad?”

“Yes, son.”

“Mom loves Sean more than you.”

“That’s the Lord, Jonathan; the prophecy is true.”

He told her. Then, in what I consider to be his dissatisfaction, he thought he heard that the prophecy wasn’t true, that it wasn’t from the Lord, and said, “I’m not sure about this one.”

I said, “The first is true, Jonathan.”

This happened on Day 700 after Marilyn’s prophecy.

Genesis 7:24 says the waters of Noah prevailed for 150 days, at which time “God remembered Noah.” Which equates to August 25th of the Gentile calendar. This happens to be the 700th day of Marilyn’s prophecy.

(A thought in retrospect, as I edit in 2015: Knowing Jonathan’s precious honesty and unwavering commitment to doing right that followed in the next two years from that 700th day, I believe he had good reason to question what he heard. I believe Marilyn was forced to be honest with him when he pressed her.)

ParticleMore Inner Conflict

I was discouraged. I hadn’t changed at all – I got angry, worried, ate too much, watched TV I shouldn’t, and judged others; I didn’t pray, give thanks, fast, or give alms. I did nothing good and everything evil. I paid the price, but to no avail. I continued to do evil. Marilyn hated me more and more; I dug the hole deeper with her; I saw it and seemed powerless to change my ways. I was to let go and stop trying altogether, yet I wasn’t to yield to temptations.

I was confused, heartbroken, and desolate. Enemies laughed, and my wife with them. I was a spectacle, a source of pity and derision both. The people viewed me as anti-Christ; I saw that nature in me yet was persuaded I wasn’t that way.

I thought I wouldn’t speak harshly to anyone again, but Marilyn brought home constant reports of the selfishness and wickedness of the people at the farm until I became fed up and angry. I spoke and, lo, it was evidently needful to speak harshly – I called them “pigs.” And results for the better seemed to occur. Truly, they’d been swine devouring themselves. I spoke it, and the activity subsided… apparently. But if arrested, to what end? For how long? It always reverted to former ways. It seemed like a losing battle and doom was inevitable.

Marilyn held her tongue and masked her true thoughts and feelings. Yet, I saw a division in her, unless I was deceived.

Conflicts abounded, some with Marilyn, but primarily within. I experienced deep sorrow, insecurity, perplexity, and fear… of loss, of the unknown, of condemnation. I was being taken away for transgression. I suffered the shame of being stripped naked before all, the pain of separation from my son, and the ugly reality of my wife’s heart being steadfastly set on another man.

On August 31st, I apologized to Marilyn for all I’d been and done. I was confounded, doubting many things. I didn’t know what to believe. What had I heard from the Lord, and what had I heard from myself? I didn’t know.

I suffered deep helplessness – like the kind I experienced as a 7-year-old boy in 1953 (Jonathan’s age at this point) when bullied by those much bigger and older, with no defense, hope, help, or sympathy from anyone. There was nothing I could do at that time but suffer for a year or more. Then the school year ended and I was taken entirely out of my old circumstances – home, enemies, school, bullies – everything, and brought into companionship and new adventure.

The ordeal was over and I was transported into another life, befriended by a personable, joyous, popular Gordon, one my age. It was marvelous, so different. It could be compared to dying and going to Heaven, though not idyllic by any means. I looked for that kind of transport from my troubles now.

Note: It wasn’t until around the time of this editing that I realized I had been delivered from a Gordon six years my senior, who hated and scornfully bullied me, to a Gordon my age who was thrilled to have me for his choicest friend – from the very worst to the very best one can expect in this world. What are the chances of such a coincidence? Was this not another allegory God created to display His sovereignty? First the night of sorrow and suffering, then the day of peace and joy (Psalm 30:5)?

Who says there is no God?

ParticleMarilyn’s Desire

Seventy days before November 10th, on September 1st, in the night, Marilyn expressed a desire that she and Sean be free to express their feelings for each other.

ParticleMickey Patrick’s Problems

Mickey Patrick called to talk and reported many troubles. He said his mother was dying of bone cancer. He was forced to commit his father to a psych ward because of violence and irrationality, though he was later released. Mickey’s son was beat up in a park and police were involved. Mickey also packed in his restaurant business, saying it was too demanding, and planned to focus on a home for handicapped kids.

Were my troubles so bad?

ParticleReins on Jonathan

We had to deal with Jonathan and make decisions on things like the annual circus, friends’ birthday parties, swimming at pools and beaches with the scantily dressed, toxic candy and other unhealthy treats, restaurants, movies, silly fads and mercenary fashions, disturbing music, enticing and numerous games and toys, risky trampolines, internet influences, religious issues, vaccinations, GMO’s, tantalizing, deceptive commercials for so many products not worth buying or consuming… the list goes on.

Where to draw the line? I didn’t want to suffocate Jonathan or disease him with the Preacher’s Kid Syndrome. I saw that Marilyn could be rather too liberal for my liking and I didn’t know that I could trust her judgment. I also saw her looking to Jonathan for comfort and solace, as she didn’t get it from me in a way that satisfied her, which could have resulted in pampering and spoiling him. (Wasn’t she getting any solace or satisfaction from Sean?)

Discipline wasn’t so hard to be enforced with Archie’s children. Now we had our “only child of our old age” and our heart strings were tested. It was hard denying Jonathan privileges and pleasures he desired while he witnessed other children having fun. What should we allow or not allow? What was important and what wasn’t? Thankfully, the answer would come in due time.

ParticleA Beloved Baal Worshipper

As I perused some of his books, I knew T. L. Osborn was my enemy and not a man of God. When Peter preached at Pentecost, he notified the people of the evil they had done. There was conviction of sin, the foundation of the salvation process, establishing the need. Osborn had no use whatsoever for conviction of sin. He was saving the carnal man, and therefore carnal men thronged him, hearing exactly what they wanted to hear. He required no price from them. There was no cross involved to qualify people. So it is with all those who associated with Osborn – Kenneth Copeland, Oral Roberts, and every other famous and popular preacher – yes, every other.

ParticleProphetic Words by Gene and Les

Les Mills and I talked by phone. He said he and Gene sought the Lord and received that the Lord would not be physically taking me. Gene said my calling and election were sure. Gene and Vicky were coming to stay with the Mills and hoped to be gathering with others this winter.

Les and Gene more than once remarked that there were two of me. They said that when they talked face-to-face with me, I was friendly, and then, days later, they would get my hard letters. My problem seemed to be that while I visited with people, I saw very little if any of the issues, but as I considered and prayed, I received understanding of the people and the things they said.

Sometimes this would be within three days, sometimes longer. I’ve often wished I could be like some who are so very capable of sizing up a person or situation, sometimes in seconds, and make their required decisions. While I haven’t seen this kind of ability in any man of God (I haven’t seen another man of God, for that matter), I have seen it often in great men of the world.

Mark and Amanda decided to stay away, not knowing what to make of me. Helgrid, Barny’s wife, was afraid of me because of what I had written to Barny about her. Why was she afraid?

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Page 9 PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.) Particle – Going Up or Down the Ladder? I saw an extension ladder at a garage sale. It was used and priced as a new one. I wanted it for a fair used price. The lady holding the sale was Pat Holt. She professed faith in Christ and was a member of the Victory Christian Church. Her husband had either died or left her, and she claimed she was in financial straits. She wasn't open to anything I had to say, especially if I told her what I had heard from the Lord concerning Victory Church. I ended up buying the ladder for a price I believe she thought was too little. I thought perhaps I should give her more, simply because she told me she was poor, though she was the former wife of a doctor. However, I couldn't bring myself to pay more. Whether I was too cheap or was prevented, I don't know; likely the former. Particle – The Prince of Reason Each of us has our peculiar weaknesses and faults. Mark Benson's is reasoning everything out, utterly contrary to wisdom or walking by revelation. My problem, and that of others in relation to him, is that he's persuasive in argument and unless we're on our guard, we soon fall prey. On one occasion, we held a garage sale at Archie's place at 1720 Ashgrove, where we were selling many books, mostly educational texts. I decided to clear them out at fire sale prices, 12 for a dollar. New, some of them would have cost 20 or even 30 dollars each. I bundled them, determining that if I was ...

wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part V, Page 11

Page 11 PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.) Particle – Emptiness Within Often and for long periods of time, God has hidden Himself from His called ones, as with all the saints and prophets of old. We desire so much to walk by sight, but we need to learn to walk by faith, by the little given knowledge of the unknown, in order that we may know Him. And though He hides Himself to try us, He's always there; there's nowhere one can go from His presence. Emptiness isn't a bad sign in itself, as one might suppose. I am ill with sorrow and grief, Vexation and loneliness; My soul is filled with groanings and longings; I look in all directions; I reach out; My hand returns empty. Tears fill my soul; I cry and cry and cry; There is no one to comfort, to console, to ease my pain. Day after day, year after year, Decade after decade, I wait, I long, I cry; I heave and sigh. There is none to understand. I wait for morning; I wait for evening; I'm desolate. I eat, I sleep, I cry. Is it sin I say I don't have That causes me to be this way – Desperate, sad, lonely, unfulfilled, Useless, despised, unwanted? This is not the abundant life. Though I have my carnal needs met And freedom to come and go, I have nowhere to come and go. All is quiet, uneventful, drab, and grey. Do I complain, Or do I merely state the way things are For those appointed to such by Divine order, Not for sin, But for His purposes? I don't know. I do know I...
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