PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.)
We have a suet feeder on our deck that three varieties of woodpeckers enjoy, as do chickadees, nuthatches, and magpies. But at a certain point in spring, starlings come in as a flock and take over. They are a dirty and nasty bird. They chase all others away, squawk, and defecate all over the suet, feeder, and deck. I would take my BB gun and try to shoot them. I usually missed; no matter how I tried to adjust my aim, they would fly away.
After such a time, over the course of a few days, I found perhaps half a dozen dead starlings in the yard. It only appeared these dark, nasty, dirty birds had escaped the gun, but they hadn’t, at least not all of them.
I realized that though there seemed to be little or no effect in using the Sword of the Lord, His Word, with my enemies, it was indeed doing its work, to be seen in due time.
Les Mills gave me a copy of God Has a Misfit by Ray Prinzing, in which is recorded Ray’s manifold tragedies and sufferings. Prinzing was very religious and the wrath of God was on him. He thought himself to be a man of God, but he was nothing of the sort – poetic, affected, educated, zealous, loving in the Luciferian spirit, but not at all pious. He paid a heavy price for his presumption and pretension. The Lord showed me Ray’s heart many years before, and he hadn’t changed.
Is it not reasonable to ask why Pharaoh didn’t apprehend, imprison, or execute Moses and Aaron from the start or any time thereafter? How is it they had the honor of being received by the royal rulership of a superpower? Who were they to be so honored? They had no wealth, fame, money, army, connections, lobbyists, or anything to influence Pharaoh or his country, yet he allowed them – despised Hebrews, abominable shepherds – to return time and again for an audience with him.
Who says there is no God?
An acquaintance of Les Mills, Barny Knelsen, called and paid us a visit. He told me that when Les had talked to him about me, he received that I was “consumed with rejection.” I couldn’t deny that rejection had been a major element in my life, but was I consumed with it?
I was farmed off to my great aunt and uncle for school, being much alone and teased and laughed at by all, including my first- and second-grade teacher, John Urichyn, and rejected by a favored cousin that was always two-faced.
Then when becoming a believer, suddenly the old world with all its inhabitants rejected me. When received by evangelicals, it wasn’t long before the Spirit escorted me out their door, this time Marilyn coming with me.
Then briefly, the Lord took us in and out of Pentecostal/Charismatic circles.
Years later, in 1989, at Moon River Estates, the executive and prominent members of the community trashed us. Now in 1998, as Barny spoke, my wife was contemptuously rejecting me for another man more than young enough to be her son. Perhaps I was consumed with rejection, after all.
While I was no match for my circumstances, I did, by this point, know the Lord would see me through. Barny also said, “The time of rejection and battles with such is over.” This came to pass. He was right.
Now who was Barny Knelsen?
Barny was trying so hard to “love.” The Lord revealed his spirit to me, showing me he was hurting. I told him what I was seeing and told him how, if he acknowledged his state, God would bring him into wide, open spaces of blessing and freedom. Sadly, he wasn’t prepared to be honest about himself and his defeat and failures.
Where did all this begin? Barny once led a spiritual fellowship until a now-famous couple, George and Hazel Hill, came along. I was told the Hills wanted to speak in tongues in Barny’s meetings and he forbade them. They left and took several of the congregation with them. Barny was devastated (though he wouldn’t admit defeat), unable to regain his desired status as the shepherd of the group.
The essence of Barny’s situation was that he had begun a religious fellowship apart from the visible conventional systems, but essentially, he and his followers were still in bed with the harlot, Mystery Babylon the Great – false religion. They weren’t free of the works of the flesh. Oh, I tell you, when the harlot gets a hold of you, her grip is amazing! And her perfume lingers for years, if it ever goes away. I fervently advise all to run from her for your lives. Run!
By God’s mercy, Barny lost his works to the Hills, but he didn’t see it as a blessing. He was a compromiser, clinging to a mixture of truth and error, unwilling to relinquish his own glory and the praise of men.
Years later, Barny gave his daughter over in marriage to worshippers and servants of Ashtoreth at the Northside Christian Fellowship, which, he candidly confessed, despised him. He once attended there, but left. He never repented of his past church affiliations. He was as a bat – one not accepted by either heavenly bird or earthly beast. One can leave the external harlot and still take her with him. Her subjects are secure in her, and only a miracle can deliver them.
George and Hazel Hill went on to found Victory Churches International with churches around the world. From them came forth Dick and Joan Deweert (later spelled “Dewert”), who first pastored the Victory Christian Church in Lethbridge and then founded CJIL (“Christ Jesus Is Lord”), the first Canadian 24/7 “Christian” television station, which was later to be known as The Miracle Channel.
The Deweerts lost this earthly glory when Dick fell into adultery .
Les came to me one day and said, “I need to say to you, ‘Blessed is he that comes in the Name of the Lord.’” This reminded me of Mike Trepanier in 1980, who dropped by unannounced to our La Verendrye home, saying the very same thing. (These men understood those words as a verbal formula, not as a spiritual reality of the heart.)
Les was one to gather and read much literature from various Christian writers, primarily those preaching the reconciliation of all things. He brought me writings by Preston Eby, George Hawtin, and some by David Ebaugh, as well as George Warnock (who I don’t think believed in the reconciliation of all men). I appreciated Eby’s “Man of Sin” series, which served well to confirm what the Lord had just been teaching me when Les arrived on the scene.
The man of sin is within; he is us. What are the chances of such rare revelation to be confirmed by a stranger bringing writings I had never seen or heard of?
Who says there is no God?
Though I had already known it, I came to be thankful that God used Les and Gene to focus me more on the blessed truth that all men would be saved in the fulness of times.
My eldest cousin Bob Prestayko, older by 11 years, was one who was derisive of my faith in Christ and subtly mocked me in the family unlike most others who did it behind my back, which was evident by the way Bob “wore his feelings on his sleeve” with confidence the other family members would agree with him. He had never talked to me about what had happened with me but obviously concluded through hearsay that I was to be scorned. This was in the ’70’s.
Marilyn met Bob in Dauphin at Christmas 1974, a month after she and I were married. Bob had returned from Los Angeles perhaps for a visit, if not now living with his parents at Dauphin. To my slight surprise, she found him unpleasant – light and arrogant.
As a kid, I had admired Bob, especially when he visited home from “Hollywood” with his convertible. I so wanted to be able to spend time with him. He was handsome, fun-loving, good with kids, extraverted – all the things the world and the flesh look for and enjoy.
Of course, if Bob hadn’t taken the stance he did against Jesus Christ and had much more soberly listened to what I had to say, things could have turned for him, but it didn’t happen. He lived a sad life in his remaining years, lonely and unfulfilled. I see that his mother had spoiled him as their only son, without social boundaries but with much worship I’d say – he could do no wrong in her sight and she had high hopes of entertainment stardom for him. His life was formed for tragedy and tragedy was fulfilled.
Bob died unmarried, childless and friendless on April 18, 1998, age 62, of prostate cancer, I’ve heard. Aunt Mary sadly suffered the death of her husband and son.
Marquise Harris, our neighbor across the road, was sulking at me, so on April 25, I decided to pay her a visit. It turned out she was upset because I hadn’t permitted Jonathan to attend her son Thomas’ birthday party. (I was teaching Jonathan the wrongfulness and ungodliness of birthday celebrations.) She said she felt sorry for him, insisting he was going to have problems.
Having seen the black angels over their house, having seen her son Thomas as a very angry child when he was about three years old, the apparent lack of discipline with their children, and knowing the children were not being taught the Scriptures and the ways of God, I said to Marquise that perhaps she should be feeling sorry for her own children. She showed me the door.
Gene Knorr called. Having red my writings, he said that he hated them, that they ministered death and condemned him. He said Trevor Benson was a tree with bad fruit. He said I was the tree and Trevor was the evil fruit thereof.
He spoke of his teen daughter, Abby Lynn, who was headed to Ireland, paying her way by dancing and working in bars. I had written Gene a long letter, advising in the Lord that his daughter not go, especially if she was naming the Name of the Lord. Trevor had also written her a letter, advising her against it, although his letter was not of God (thus the reference to the tree and fruit). Trevor was simply after another woman.
Finally, Gene said that I was a preacher of bondage and that God didn’t normally speak a specific word “to the natural realm,” saying, “Go here,” or, “Don’t go there”; “Do this,” or, “Don’t do that,” and especially not through another man. I guess he hadn’t read of Agabus, who prophesied by the Spirit that Paul not go to Jerusalem because chains awaited him there (Acts 21:10-11). Nor did Gene recall the many times the Lord told the disciples what to do concerning the natural realm.
Gene was a carpenter. We hired him to help finish building a chicken barn at the farm. While there, he was advising Trevor that he didn’t have to listen to me, that we were in false works, building our own kingdom, a Babylonish creation. He counseled Sean to flee for his life from Marilyn, likening Sean to Joseph and Marilyn to Potiphar’s wife who sought to lay with Joseph.
There was some truth in all of it, but where was Gene coming from and what all was he considering or failing to consider? What Satan said to Jesus in the temptations was true, but the application was lethal. So with Job’s three friends, whom Satan had brought to mislead and torment him by speaking things that were, of themselves, certainly true.
Gene also advised that I take over the farm and have my wife removed from the operation. While I understood it was the counsel of the Scriptures that wives be “keepers at home,” the Lord had said to me concerning Marilyn and Sean, “Let it happen,” and I was to stay out of farm affairs. Speak of my looking wrong according to the Scriptures and my detractors being the wise of God!
While Gene’s instructions made perfect sense, I had to go by faith, obeying God, Whose counsel or command was quite contrary to logic, reason, or His Law. Was not Abraham commanded to sacrifice his son, an apparently heinous trespass against God’s Law (Genesis 9:6)? Yet he knew what was required of him and Who required it. Had others known, they would have told him he was insane or demon-possessed.
I knew there was nothing more to be said to Gene, so I didn’t argue with him. When talking about how the Knorrs and Mills had suffered in their past, Marilyn received, “They have suffered, but they haven’t suffered enough.”
Gene hated God, hating the Law. He was presumptuous, arrogant, heady, high-minded, smooth as oil, vindictive, fearful, vicious, a lover of pleasure, boastful, proud, a blasphemer, incontinent, despising us, ever learning and never able to come to knowledge of the truth, withstanding the truth, a man with a corrupt mind, reprobate.
He and his companions, I heard as I weeded the lawn, were of the synagogue of Satan. He would proceed no further and his folly was about to be unveiled to all. He was a false accuser, judging entirely after the appearance, wise in his own eyes. He was… a devil sent to try me in an hour of temptation.
Without being told what was going on with Sean and Marilyn, Les Mills came to me saying he immediately saw an unhealthy relationship between them. He knew there was adultery, suspecting it might be physical. I told him I didn’t believe there was anything physical, but did admit and inform him of what was going on between them.
I marveled at what I was hearing, wondering what the Lord was doing, and I showed him the prophecies I had for Marilyn and Sean. I think I did this against the counsel of the Lord. I was not to tell them anything, as I recall. I have been notorious for disobedience; notwithstanding, God has been very patient and merciful to me.
Les decided he needed to go to the farm and confront Marilyn and Sean. I said if that is what he believed he needed to do, he should do it. When he and Penny did so, Marilyn denied there was anything happening between Sean and her.
“What IS your relationship with Sean?” asked Penny at one point. Marilyn said they were just friends. Of course she lied, and if the relationship had been a clean one, would she have answered so?
Hearing what happened, I asked Marilyn, “Doesn’t it occur to you that there’s something very wrong with what you’re doing if you have to lie about it? Why couldn’t you say, ‘We’re brother and sister in Christ’?” But she refused to listen, justifying herself, saying they wouldn’t understand. “I should think not,” I replied.
On May 5th, I paid Bob and Lynn Gregson a visit and told them everything that was happening at the farm with Marilyn and Sean. Lynn said, “Even if there is nothing physical, it’s there!” I agreed. Bob felt I should “let go,” which is what the Lord had already told me more than once saying, “Let it happen.” Those were both pieces of counsel I accepted as being from the Lord, though neither of them professed active faith in God.
Lynn told me she had been deeply hurt by things I said in 1985. I didn’t realize how I had affected her. I cried and apologized, but in the days thereafter, I tried to recall exactly what I might have said that had troubled her so. All Lynn said was that I had “judged” her. She had resisted Christian teaching I was giving Bob in 1984 and ‘85.
I recalled telling Bob that if he was going to follow the Lord and she wasn’t willing or able to do the same, he’d have to forsake her, according to Matthew 10. He reported her negative reactions. I began to wonder if Bob had accurately told her what I said. It seems there could have been confusion; perhaps not.
More than once after our May 5th meeting, I tried to meet with them and clarify matters, but it never happened. Bob resisted my attempts at meeting.
Particle – “It’s There,” Number Two
On May 6th, I called Mickey Patrick, telling him I could now more easily identify with what he had gone through when his wife left him. He said my words were very timely but didn’t explain. Telling him what was happening, he used the very same words Lynn Gregson used only the day before, “Yes, maybe the physical hasn’t happened, but it’s there!” with the same peculiar emphasis.
A friend of Mark and Amanda’s, Debbie Summers, came visiting. She left me with literature and tapes of a Universalist preacher, Mike Williams. Mike preached “grace.” According to what I understood of his message, there really was no need to recognize sin, repentance, or obedience to God. I bring Debbie up because she, as an example of others of like mind and belief, became quite belligerent and downright nasty with me, quite offended at things I was saying, as though we had no right to judge or correct anything or anyone because “it has all been perfectly settled at the cross.”
Then why have a problem with me? Debbie was quite troubled, rebelling against the false gospel, replacing one false one for another, yet not knowing the True. Mystery has the unrepentant sinner coming and going.
I perceived in their doctrine the fulfillment of the words the Lord spoke to me years before. He said, “They will come to you saying, ‘Law, Law!’ accusing you of trusting in the Law because they hate the Law, and they hate the Law because they hate Me. They will come to you saying, ‘Grace! Grace!’ but I will show both you and them the fruits of their supposed grace, which is iniquity (lawlessness). While they will be cast into outer darkness with their grace, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, I will grant you to bask in the true grace I have afforded you and all those who love My Law and Me.”
When Barny prophesied that I was “consumed with rejection,” I remembered the question-and-answer period I had with the Lord in Bernalillo in 1984. I realized that the Lord was also suffering greatly from rejection.
“He is despised and rejected of men; a Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as it were a hiding of faces from Him, He being despised, and we esteemed Him not” (Isaiah 53:3 MKJV).
By now, Barny was turning others against me because, I suppose, I was a threat to his territory, those he sought to lead, namely Mark and Amanda, Debbie Summers, and Les and Penny (not that they needed encouragement to turn away. Barny was possessive and territorial, all the time denying it. I again felt the rejection that was there from all those who came. It was persistent and invariable, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I found out that Mark and Amanda had sent Debbie, in her troubled spirit and all her turmoil, to minister to me. Everybody knows better and chooses his or her own way, thereby suffering and causing others to suffer. While they witness my rejection, they all think I’m weak and in need of ministering. What about God and His rejection? Does He need ministering, too?
“Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was on Him; and with His stripes we ourselves are healed” (Isaiah 53:4-5 MKJV).
A journal entry:
Tonight, Sean told me he heard three times in a strong voice, one time immediately after another, as he was milking the cow, that Marilyn was going to be his wife. But I say the Lord speaks in a still, small voice, and He doesn’t repeat Himself. Does one read in the Scriptures of God speaking to Elijah saying, “Ahab is going to die; Ahab is going to die; Ahab is going to die”? Or saying to Saul of Tarsus, “Go to Ananias; go to Ananias; go to Ananias”?
Men foolishly repeat and emphasize themselves, but not the Creator, Who speaks quietly, with chosen words and few. Yet I’m not believed, and things must continue and conclude.
Early in the morning of May 16, 1998, I dreamt that I was at Les and Penny’s. They had a large house and were having a feast with numerous other people. Les was reserved and Penny quite cool toward me, even directly disregarding Marilyn and me, closing a door leading to the kitchen in my face and turning her back on us as we were leaving.
Sitting at the table with Les, I said, “There’s a problem between us, isn’t there, Les?” He looked at me knowingly and sheepishly. “You talked to Gene and Barny and concluded that I am a false prophet or at least that my prophecies are false, right?” He nodded. “Well, things are going to happen and you’ll know otherwise. See, Marilyn? I told you so.”
“I was wrong,” Marilyn replied, annoyed as she went about busy with serving food.
I said, “You think I’m in darkness, Les, don’t you? Perhaps you feel you may try to deliver me out of darkness.” He nodded with a slight, timid smile. “Do you know the difference between light and darkness, Les? You came to me saying, ‘Blessed is he that comes in the Name of the Lord,’ but now you’ve changed your mind.”
He began interrupting, but I proceeded, “Les, just let me finish…you’ll find things happen and you’ll see that what I spoke is true. Let’s go, Marilyn.”
Marilyn was preoccupied and reluctant to heed me. As we were leaving, she tried to get (or someone was giving her) some cabbage rolls and something else. I said, “I don’t think we should (accept).”
The dream ended.
I ended up sending a hard-hitting letter to Mark, Amanda, and Debbie, rebuking them sharply. Did they like it? Like most cats love to be in water. Days later, they came out with Barny to contend with me, quite upset. Barny thought to come and minister and correct “in love.” The Lord gave me to stand my ground with a Word from Isaiah, with the emphasis as indicated:
“Cry aloud, do not spare, lift up your voice like a ram’s horn, and show My people their rebellion, and the house of Jacob their sins” (Isaiah 58:1 MKJV).
Several times I wondered if we should sell the farm and be free of it. We didn’t know what we were doing, everyone was overrun with the work every day, Marilyn was constantly tired, unable to spend time with her young son, and there was nothing but dissension and strife both at the farm and in our home, triggered by elements and persons at the farm.
Gene and Les urged us to sell, saying it was a Babylonish project that God condemned. Bob Fife, Les Mills, and the Gregsons urged me to go back to the farm and take control, and many suggested that we somehow change operations, though none had any specific solutions or recommendations.
In prayer, I received that we should not sell; we should continue as we were doing, with Marilyn responsible and I remaining where I was, with greater issues at stake above all the farm aspects.
The empty come as full, and the full are empty. I called Erin Schipper. Her words I am now about to relate are typical of the thoughts and words of so many people professing faith in Christ.
My journal entry:
She thinks to have and know it all. She has chosen her own way and judged God, rather than submitting to His judgment. It will not go well for her. But what confusion! She calls me a false prophet. She says I am not a prophet, but perhaps a man of God*. She says I am a “people reader,” like her. The problem is, I’ve never been able to read people that I can tell, and the second problem is that if she’s a people reader, why can’t she read me?
She said I have no love in saying they have no idea what real love is. She said I have a “smooth way with words” and control people by fear. She says we serve two different gods (she’s right, yet allows that I may be a man of God). She says she will hear directly from God for herself (she won’t, but will think she does) and wants no further communications from me, questioning my right to be involved in her life on any matter. That may be true, especially if I’m not a prophet of God, but if I am a prophet sent of God, doesn’t God have the right to speak to anyone as He chooses, through whom He will? She says she knows I appreciate honesty so she was ‘letting me have it.’ She finally said I should “go be a martyr.”
I must ask: Does a false prophet appreciate honesty? Does a man of God not appreciate it? ”
I feel to record these things she has said for future to be used against her. Sounds vengeful. It appears Erin has been discussing all this with Mark and Amanda, and that they haven’t been as honest and direct with me as she was.
*In the year of posting this Part Seven – 2015, I think I understand where Erin Schipper was coming from. Martin Van Popta, who came out of the Canadian Reform Church and has gotten saved along with his wife, explained to me that Dutch Reform people don’t believe in present-day prophets and that if anyone is called a prophet, he must be a false one. Being Dutch in a predominantly Dutch Reform area of Canada, Erin likely would have had this belief. Yet she seemed to think I was possibly a man of God, though I was a false prophet. Curious contradiction.
The future would tell the wisdom of her stance.
I was angry with Chris and Nathan, seeing their departure as betrayal. On May 20th, I wrote a scathing letter, describing and enumerating the things we had to put up with from them, which we had often overlooked, and which they didn’t begin to consider.
I also chastised them for lacking the decency to be honest with us about leaving. Had they come forth and said they couldn’t remain any longer, I believe I would have been willing to get them started elsewhere with food, shelter, employment, and whatever else needed until they were able to fend for themselves.
Feeling terrible about all the rejection and opposition from “the seven” and others, not being believed, called a liar, despised, and ostracized, I went to prayer and heard the following words:
“Victor, we believe that God is with you and the only way for us is to come to you. We don’t like what you are saying to us or how you say it, but we feel we have to accept and submit. We don’t know what to do but to come and listen. We don’t see the darkness you speak of that we are in, but we sense that you know. We want you to help us.
“Please bear with us and deliver us from our destructives. Don’t give up on us. We don’t understand why you are so harsh, or why the Lord would speak to us that way, but we sense it is the Lord, though we don’t understand. We trust that if we believe and obey, He will be faithful. He has chosen it this way to deal with us through you.”
I then wrote, “I must wait for these people to come to me. I can’t go running after them. The Lord must bring them if they’re to come at all. And they must come with earnestness, pressing with zeal, undaunted, determined, with violence, if necessary. They’ve been told enough and must believe what they have already heard. I don’t have to struggle with anyone; I can rest. The Lord has said, ‘I will do it all.’”
Barny Knelsen asserted that seeing we were all kings and priests unto the Lord (Revelation 1:5-6; 5:10), we were all equal in authority and status before God. Debbie Summers loved that, and certainly Mark and Amanda Ogden agreed with it. But is it true? If so, let those who believe it explain:
One, while God called all of Israel a nation of kings and priests (Exodus 19:5-6), how is it He still chose one tribe to be the priesthood before Him on behalf of the rest of Israel?
Two, Elijah’s mantle was not passed on to any prophets except Elisha. Why should Elisha have received this honor above all the prophets, if all were equal? But this is still Old Testament. Barny would argue that we became equal with Christ’s sacrifice and our new birth.
If those two examples are invalid because the words Moses spoke in Exodus 19 were only meant for the future congregation of God, commonly known as “the Church,” let’s go on…
Three, how is it that Jesus chose 12 men as apostles to feed His sheep? It could be argued that this was not to direct, but only to feed. And why no women as apostles?
Four, how is it we find 24 elders in Heaven and Michael leading the angels in warfare? It could be argued that these elders were there only to feed others, not bear authority, and that Michael was simply noteworthy in his might, but not necessarily leading… which would be stretching it a bit.
As well, it could be argued that this was only among angels, not men. But then, didn’t Paul say the saints would one day judge angels? Perhaps it could be argued that correction is one thing, but authority another… which would be stretching it. With responsibility comes authority in any reasonable situation. How does one correct without authority?
Five, how is it Paul was appointing elders in the churches and directing Timothy to do the same? How is it he also told the Corinthians to do as he commanded? Can one imagine them equally telling him what to do? Where would be the order? And why weren’t women and novices appointed to these positions?
Six, how is it that husbands are to be heads of their wives and wives are to submit to their husbands, though nowhere is it said that wives are the heads of their husbands and husbands are to submit to their wives? As well, parents are not to submit to children but vice versa, and servants or slaves are to obey their masters (1 Timothy 3:5, 5:17; Ephesians 5:22-24; 6:1, 5-9; 1 Peter 3:6).
While it’s true we have equal status in Christ by nature, is it necessarily true that we all have right to the same positions and authority toward one another? Can there be any question that there must be positions of authority in order to have order and not chaos in any community?
Seven, how is it the Hebrews writer speaks thus, if there is no order of leadership and authority?:
“Yield to those leading you, and be submissive, for they watch for your souls, as those who must give account, that they may do it with joy and not with grief; for that is unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17 MKJV).
Eight, how is it James and the elders in Jerusalem directed the saints throughout the world, telling them what is right or wrong and what to do?
Nine, do the Gentile believers and all new believers in Christ, Jewish or Gentile, have equal authority to tell the elders and apostles what to do?
Ten, as a new believer, I know I had nothing in the way of any authority or status in real, spiritual terms towards older believers. I would have done well to shut my mouth and submit.
The Knorrs, Knelsens, Mills, Ogdens, Summers, and Schipper all despised authority with a fervent passion. As apostles said:
“The Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptation, and to reserve the unjust for a day of judgment, to be punished, and especially those who walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise dominion. They are darers, self-pleasing; not trembling at glories, speaking evil” (2 Peter 2:9-10 MKJV).
“In the same way, these dreamers make the flesh unclean, having no respect for authorities, and say evil of rulers” (Jude 1:8 BBE).
As I was going to garage sales in June, I met up with Don Morgan. He informed me that Aleeyta Starre had died of a massive heart attack at his kitchen table on February 23 of this year (see Particles, “Warning Signs Always There,” and “Automatic Writer”).
Page 10 PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.) Particle – I Am Evil I wrote in my journal: I am evil, a hypocrite, a destroyer; always was. There has been no change in me. I've tried to believe, think, and speak right; to love, obey, submit, repent, suffer, accept, thank, rejoice, and do and be all those things I thought were expected of me as a believer in Christ. I've failed miserably and suffered the loss of almost all things. Being blind, I probably don't see clearly at this point that I've lost everything. I criticize, condemn, point the finger, “judge,” “smite with the fist,” “lay heavy burdens,” enslave, impose, demand, trouble, rail, find fault – always. I chafe at things I don't like; I fret, stew, and verbally, violently retaliate. I'm that meddling, destructive son of perdition, man of sin, false prophet, anti-Christ, accuser of the brethren, devil, adversary to God, to all good, and to all mankind. I am ‘that wicked one.' I'm vile and have nothing to do with God or He with me. No wonder I've lost everything! No wonder I'm hated by all, including my ex-wife. I'm a damned soul and have neither the ability nor desire to change. God knows I've wanted to be different, or does He know that I haven't wanted to be different? God damn my soul! If I don't destroy myself, God will. If He won't, I will – I've done it. All these years, for decades, I hoped for change, deliverance, resurrection, and healing. I prayed, begged, wished, and cried for it. God ...
Letter to Bob Gregson Bob, when we first met in 1984, you were living a life of frustration, trying to get your father to pass on the business to you and Ron. There was “bad blood” between you and your father. Maybe you remember. (Not long ago, you described his last days with scorn and cynicism.) During those days in the ‘80’s, I spent hours and hours and hours with you, not only on spiritual matters but you were asking me many questions and seeking my opinions on your problems with your father and the business. During that time of consulting, I asked the Lord for an answer in every situation, and He answered me every time, with many persons, you included. In your case, you will recall that God revealed to me that you needed to begin to love your father, to treat him with respect, not to get the business, but to do what was right, that the problem was with you, not with your father. He was, after all, your father, no matter how much he fell short of being what he should be or what you expected of him. You were fairly seething at him. I recall you often complaining, even sarcastically, about him and his ways. You were wrong in spirit and attitude, though perhaps the matters spoken of were not necessarily erroneous. As a result of your attitude, you made it practically impossible for him to graciously pass on the business to you. It would have been like asking him to get on his knees to you, or to give a customer a 50% discount on all goods and services simply...
Page 14 PART ONE – Darkness to Light (cont.) Particle – Concept-Therapy, Forming God Some of us in Amway became involved in Concept-Therapy, a philosophical system founded by Thurman Fleet of San Antonio, Texas. It promised all one could wish in terms of spiritual and temporal wealth and power. Harry Roder, a certified instructor and former evangelical minister from Ontario, came to Winnipeg, holding weekend meetings at John and Betty Fortins'. Though I thought CT's fees were high, I became very motivated and excited about the concepts, and I aspired to be an instructor. They promised that once completing a series of weekend sessions over several years in various cities of North America, one would enter cosmic consciousness, a state of peace, power, and fulfillment, with access to all knowledge. It was about being at one with all creation and the intelligent power of the universe, and being able to harness this power to great advantage. They taught that their sources of learning were science and the Bible, the best of both worlds. One day, at a short break in the meeting, I gazed at a chart on the wall that symbolically depicted the seven phases of the spiritual journey, the seventh being the temple of all knowledge, the state of cosmic consciousness. While others stood by, I asked Harry, out of curiosity, where he was at on the chart. His reaction surprised me. He was silent. Others were interested in his answer, and they waited for him to reply. Thinking perhap...