PART SIX– Harvest Haven to Surprise Visitors (cont.)
I realized that in the year 2000, it would be 25 years that I waited for the Lord since receiving the Spirit. Abraham waited 25 years for Isaac since called out of Ur of the Chaldees to a land God had for him. From the time of my first dream and revelation of Jesus Christ in July of 1972 to the time of consecrating my life for the others in obedience to the Lord in July of 1997 is 25 years.
My last note of 1997: “The most trying year of my life, bar none, yet without regret whatsoever. How needful!”
On the evening of January 1, 1998, I had a vision wherein I saw a woman’s severed right forearm lying on the floor. I also saw a toilet bowl; I was reaching into it, but an unseen force was slamming the toilet seat and lid on my arm, preventing me.
For a time I suspected this to be Kerri’s influence defeated in my life. However, I came to know this to be Marilyn’s power. The vision was telling me I still trusted her, and that I was being rebuked for doing that which was a vile thing to Heaven. This vision was on the 23rd anniversary of our receiving the Spirit.
Weeks before this time, I was praying in tongues and Marilyn received interpretation. The words were: “I am coming soon.” Marilyn said of me: “The Lord is preparing him. The Lord is coming for him, the Lord and not a messenger.”
Again, now I prayed in tongues. Marilyn saw the words, as covered in crimson red. She heard, “Believe all that I have said to you. Behold, I come quickly. My Reward/rewards are with Me.” The Reward was for me and the rewards were for the rest of us.
There was prophecy as well. The words Marilyn could remember were, “Victory, ruling in righteousness, sitting on the throne with the Lord, having the power to do what he has always wanted to do – glory, glorious. I have done that too, for good and not evil. Rejoice in your salvation.”
I was supposed to tell Paul and Kerri that there was no blessing on their marriage and that there would be none. I halted because the implications were that Paul would have to part with Kerri and leave the farm. The result would be yet two more people gone, when the farm was already overrun with work.
I was ever hesitating to lay down my life. Depression set in. I began to see an oft-occurring connection between depression and disobedience to speak and do what the Lord required of me.
I finally called on January 4, 1998 to break the news to them. When I gave Paul what I had received, he was silent. The depression and anxiety immediately lifted; I was at peace. This day turned out to be 70 days after he and Kerri had come out to receive an answer from me on October 26th.
Paul and Kerri headed back to the US in January 1998 and filed for divorce in Great Falls, Montana. Paul then moved to Helena, having moved into Tom Bump’s cabin, but by August, he was getting together again with Kerri, who was in Great Falls. In May 1999, Paul moved back to Great Falls and in with Kerri.
Paul comments: “As Victor had his own battles knowing what was right and what was wrong, so did I. I had married Kerri after Victor said that he and others there considered the matter and thought we should get married. Kerri asked if it was a good thing and Victor said, “Yes.” So was I to turn away from a spouse that was pleading with me otherwise, because there was no blessing? Had God put us together, a “good thing,” or what was going on here? Should Israel forsake Saul because they asked a king and got one from God, though the matter displeased Him?
This was new territory for all of us. I saw no precedent in the Scriptures where a man should divorce his wife because God hadn’t blessed the marriage. I wasn’t convinced that Kerri wasn’t pleased to dwell with me. She wasn’t speaking against Victor or the Lord. She wasn’t asking to leave or wanting out. And there was Victor’s own wife, choosing another man, with people in varying and often-changing positions on which end was up, including Victor. Who or what was one to believe, other than the Lord? I had to find out where the truth lay with Him as He brought things to bear on me through my circumstances. He was working all things together for good.
The morning Victor called about us needing to leave the farm and get divorced, Kerri and I had awakened knowing it was our last night together. We had this knowledge independent of each other, unspoken, yet recognized simultaneously. It was quite profound, a preparation for what was coming. When Victor called, he told me that although what I was hearing from him was hard, I would be very thankful for it down the road. I received this as the truth and was encouraged to move forward with his directive, although I still didn’t understand and had doubts.
I knew that Kerri would be fighting against our divorce and that this would make things particularly hard for me, which it did. I also knew that if she was right and submitted to it, she would have nothing to fear. In time, the Lord, being merciful and longsuffering, gave me crystal clarity on the matter along with the faith to do what was necessary.”
On January 6, 1998, Paul and Kerri headed back to the US and parted for nine months. Kerri called from where she was, angry and argumentative, even threatening lawsuit. Though I tried to explain to her what was going on, I stood by what I said, that there was no blessing on their marriage, and there wouldn’t be one. They had even suffered a miscarriage.
“What are Paul and I to do with what you are saying?” To others, the answer was obvious: Why continue in something without God’s blessing?
In her arguments, Kerri’s strength was that she and I both saw alike concerning Lois, Sean, and Marilyn. This made it difficult for me to deal with her. Was I wrong? Was she being unjustly treated? Then I realized that it isn’t about what one knows, but what one does with that knowledge. Kerri was rebellious, critical, judgmental, vindictive, and seditious. It was a matter of desire and power to her and not of what was right and true. I noted that Kerri was asking my blessing, but why was she not seeking God’s?
There are those who use the facts, as true as they are, not to bring common justice to all concerned, but to win against others, to get their way, right or wrong, even as lawyers commonly do in legal and judicial systems. To them, might is right, but to the righteous, it’s the other way around.
I received that Kerri was a seductive traducer. I didn’t know the meaning of “traducer” until I looked it up and found it to be perfectly appropriate for her. While she spoke true things against others, she did so for selfish purposes. Marilyn said Kerri wanted the power. Surely, I was seeing her ruling Paul.
But why should I be paying any attention to Marilyn’s judgment? Was she not also accustomed to ruling her husband? Marilyn also had knowledge not always used aright. I had to evaluate the knowledge and do with it what was God’s will and not theirs, or mine.
The wicked use truth to receive power, but the righteous forsake power to receive truth.
On January 7, 1998, I prophesied, “There is a wedding of physical and spiritual in process, of earth and Heaven, a redemption, a deliverance of creation, God’s will done on earth as in Heaven. It is His Coming, the Feast of Tabernacles, the Rest.”
Of Lois, “She sits with the high, and shits on the low. She will be changed. ”
Of Paul, “There are good things to come for all of us – Heavenly things, things of victory, worthy of rejoicing, a kind of finality. When Paul returns, he will know what is true and be established in it.
When Paul returns (he has not left), then will begin the fulfillment of all that I have ordained for you and for him. I gave him to you and over the years you have faltered and fainted, giving him over, doubting My promise to you.
I have given him to complement you. He will perceive and articulate those things I have given him by you. With you he will speak and bear witness in confidence and power he has not heretofore known. The enemy has been destroyed. His remains are being shoveled out the door and the cleansing follows. As Aaron perceived and articulated for Moses, so Paul will be and do so for you.
Your relationship with him will be full and mighty – bread for the nations. My power will go forth in both of you, such as has not been known by the world in all its existence by two men I have called to finish My work on this last day.
Never again will he quickly seek or accept whatever comes, except that which I give to him. Even there, he will be inclined to ask, ‘Can these things be? Are they acceptable? Are they the will of God?’ He has learned, he has known, to know no more as he has known.
By Me he has spoken, saying that you have never had what I purposed for the two of you. The time has not been. Only now have you forsaken him, setting aside your hopes and purposes in obedience to Me. Because you have done so, I have returned him to you to be as he ought and as I have willed.
He comes, will meet you in the way and join you. From there you will be found doing from day to day that which is required of you.
What will your wife think? She will think what I give and will know the truth. Her time is almost (already) completing.
There will be shame and rebuke in the midst of you all, Marilyn with hers, Lois with hers, Sean with his. I will have mercy as I choose and will hate whom I choose. My will has never been resisted, nor will it be now. You will all know, from the least to the greatest, that I, the Lord, do all these things. I create light and darkness (the darkness you have been in), receptivity and hardness, good and evil, to the end that, first of all, you might know that I reign over all, and second, that you will convey that understanding with conviction and power to all those I send you to and bring to you (Psalm 145:5-13).
Have you been robbed? Have you been hurt? Have you lost or gained? Have you been weakened or strengthened? Indeed, the strength you have received is still mostly imperceptible to you, though its manifestation becomes more evident, and will be manifest more and more until all shall see that you walk with Me, My son, and I with you, and Paul with you.
Solitude, solitude, your friend in disguise, My ambassador to you, to impart Myself to you and to bless you all. Does not one rest alone? Does not one often lay on a bed by himself to rest and recuperate and rejuvenate? Yet this rest is not merely recuperation, but life from the dead, both for you and for all.
Angels, armies of angels are at your disposal. You and Paul are to fear nothing. Your wives and children are to fear nothing. This is your day; I have given it to you, and nobody will take it from you.
Carole [Reesor – Howard’s appointed executrix] and all those who oppose you will die or suffer defeat and loss (even now is she dashed in her purposes against you). Their attempts to cheat, oppose, obstruct, and rob you are success-proof. They are vain. You will prevail; have no fear or doubt of that. Let that sink down into your heart and don’t give it another thought. You have more important matters – My matters to contemplate and to focus on. So with the farm, health, and all other concerns. You’re on your way – keep it.”
All our Christian lives, we have talked about the sovereignty of God. We talked about writing a book on it. Instead, God has written it in us, and we have learned. Now I perceive, in part, that His Kingdom is His sovereignty, the message we will preach will be His sovereignty – the declaration that His Kingdom is not at hand, but here. God will place the believing in His Kingdom and His Kingdom in His people. Those who oppose will be hopelessly defeated and that without delay.
The world will vehemently oppose and scorn the message of the establishment of the Kingdom. And because the message is the establishing of the Kingdom, they oppose the establishing. The religious do so, expecting Jesus Christ to come literally, bodily, visibly, with great sound, light, color, and fanfare, much like the introduction of a Broadway performance. They criticize those who expected a physical ruler the first time He came, bearing witness against themselves because they are no different from the scoffers of that day.
Change is seldom received, and this change is as no other. “The Lord reigns over all,” is the message; all is His. He will demonstrate the message to confirm its veracity. That is why, as His messengers, we need prove nothing; we need not strive; we need not fear. The Lord will confirm our steps, our power and position in Him, and His message.
Many times have I been troubled about how I didn’t prevail in the stock market. This time, the Lord spoke to me:
“It was not given to you to prevail, as your wife has said. Recall that you all went to the farm on July 10 to see it. Is that not enough to prove to you that I was leading you? You ask, ‘What of the promise of $1/4 million to $1 million?’ I answer that I am not finished yet. Nevertheless, I refused your blessing in the stock market, as I refuse to bless whoredoms.
You well know the nature and participants of the money world, the things that are bought and sold, and how many of these destroy the earth and its people. Shall I bless you in these things because you are My son? I think not.
On the contrary, I chasten you and rebuke you. That is why you could never feel any peace in the stock market; there was none. I spanked you severely.
As a child, you wanted the things desirable to you in the flesh, but which were not expedient for you in My sight. Truly, those things destroy, and you tasted destruction, even as a child tries a toxic cleanser and hurts itself. But I’ve already told you I would provide more of what you may need or want.
I also told you that you were not to lay up treasures on earth, that you ought rather to seek first My Kingdom and My righteousness, and I would add all the treasures of Egypt to you, as I deemed suitable to your edification (spiritual profit), as well as physical comfort.
Victor, you don’t realize how very, very good your lot is. Here you sit, in comfort, provided for, with a faithful wife ardently tending to mundane affairs, desirous and capable of doing so, as I have given her, and you also have others to take care of these matters properly. I have provided for all your needs and theirs. I am providing for your customers and friends. I have destroyed your enemies and given you their possessions. I have taken you aside for Myself and given you the privileges given to nobody else. I tell you things no others hear or know of, and I give you honor above others for your sake, for their sakes, and for Mine. I do a new thing.
Men will see My grace, which comes by the absence of works. If you receive Howard’s [Lois’ ex] goods, men will not say he gave them to you, but if you prevailed in the stock market, would they not say you gained your fortune there? Where, then, would be My glory? Isn’t it for My glory that I do what I do with you? Does not what I did with Howard and his sons and parents glorify Me? Consider! And I have done nothing yet as I will. You’ll see it all.
Your struggles and worrying and regrets are disappearing, Victor. I take – behold – I take them away, My son. Your time of trouble is at an end. I have loved you and have therefore brought you, carried you to this hour. Son, close your eyes and come with Me. Rest from your labors, your work; that work I have done in you is finished. Now can we enjoy sweet fellowship together, that which I have long waited for.
Rise up and walk with Me. You will be joined by Paul and you will walk upon the high places of the earth with Me.
Son, son! This is the hour of the awaiting, the long-awaited time, longed for by all, by Me, the sons, the angels, and all of My creation. Together we shall harvest the fruits and enjoy the fulfillment of all things. It is the hour of My power when I reconcile all things and comfort the hurting. I wipe away all tears and there will be no more sorrow and crying. What more do you need and what more can you ask for?
The dark one can trouble you no more. She is gone, serving her purpose and Mine. You have nothing to fear from her or anybody else. Does that need saying? It shouldn’t, if you believe Me – and I am so glad to say you do!
I have told you your inventories will not be sufficient for the demand. I will bless you and make you fruitful. But more than this, I will redeem the world by you. That is why you are here; that is why the farm, which is not a farm but only a vehicle, a tool, and a touchstone. By it, all things do I try and they are tried – all things.”
The floodgates of God’s power are opening. Brace yourselves. You won’t be able to. Only be forewarned. The floodgates are opening and the flood of blessing, of goodness, of property will sweep you all away in all things – all things. The floodgates are opening concerning business, health, customers and customer relations, relationships on the farm and with others, general wellbeing all around; people coming and warming up to us in all matters, including and especially perhaps spiritual. It is a new day.”
(This floodgate portion came separate from the rest of the prophecy, and came on me as a flood. I had to call Marilyn at the farm and tell her.) The Lord continues:
“Your health will be fine and so will ALL else. Sleep in peace, Victor; sleep in peace.
There is life in the Scriptures only when I give it, even as I told the students of the Law. The life is in Me. Have not men destroyed themselves and others with the Scriptures? How can that which is life bring forth death?
When do the birds come to you to feed? Is it not when the need is great, by virtue of the circumstances that bring them? So I will cause people to come, and you will feed them; the weather will bring them in season and they will have nowhere else to go.”
The Bible speaks of 1000 years as a day and a day as 1000 years (2 Peter 3:8). Calculating that we have 4000 years before Christ and 2000 after, the year 2000 AD on the Gentile calendar makes a total of 6000 years, or six days. It is therefore said that we’re entering the millennial Sabbath (seventh) day.
The year 2000 of the common Gentile calendar coincides with the year 5760 on the Hebrew calendar. This brings up a new set of interesting figures when one considers that the Jewish calendar has only 12 months of 30 days each, making up 360 days per year.
If six days is 5760 years, then one day is 960 years. With 24 hours in a day, one hour equals 40 years (960 divided by 24), a significant number in Scripture, called a “generation” by some.
John the Revelator prophesies concerning Mystery Babylon the Great:
“And the kings of the earth who have committed fornication and lived in luxury with her will weep for her, and will wail over her when they see the smoke of her burning; standing afar off for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Woe! Woe to the great city, Babylon, that strong city! For in one hour your judgment came‘” (Revelation 18:9-10 MKJV).
“For in one hour such great riches were desolated. And every ship-pilot, and all the company on the ships, and sailors, and as many as work the sea, stood afar off” (Revelation 18:17 MKJV).
“And they threw dust on their heads, and cried, weeping and mourning, saying, ‘Woe! Woe to the great city, by which all who had ships in the sea were rich out of her costliness! For in one hour she was ruined‘” (Revelation 18:19 MKJV).
Using Peter’s figurative language, one hour is forty years, also known as a generation. Is John saying Babylon will fall within a generation? It sounds reasonable that a great entity such as Mystery could fall in 40 years, despite the fact that she has been in power for thousands of years.
One might say Israel was in the wilderness for one hour according to God’s perspective, Moses’ life was divided into three hours (3 sections of 40 years for a total of 120 years) and Jesus was in the wilderness for 10 seconds (40 days).
Now if one hour represents 40 years, then one minute is 40 divided by 60 (the minutes in an hour); 8 months, or 2/3rd or .666 of a year, a number similar to that of the beast and of a man, as mentioned:
“Here is the wisdom. Let him having reason count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. And its number is six hundred and sixty-six” (Revelation 13:18 MKJV).
Eight months or 240 (two thirds of a Hebrew year of 360 days) is as one minute to God.
Here are a few more numbers and significations to ponder…
There are 24 elders:
“And around the throne I saw twenty four thrones. And on the thrones I saw twenty four elders sitting, clothed in white clothing. And they had crowns of gold on their heads” (Revelation 4:4 MKJV).
Speaking of six Hebrew days, there are four elders for each of the six days for a total of 24, one elder for every six hours or six generations or 240 years of our history in Hebrew calendar computation.
There are 144 hours in six days. The Lord has 144,000 called, chosen, and faithful to serve Him:
“And I looked, and lo, the Lamb stood on Mount Zion. And with Him were a hundred and forty four thousands, having His Father’s Name written in their foreheads” (Revelation 14:1 MKJV).
Therefore, He has called and chosen 1,000 in each hour or generation of 40 years, or 24,000 per day of 960 years, as reckoned on the Hebrew calendar.
Is it a coincidence that 2000 coincides with 5760? Is the Lord not over all things? Just some thoughts.
Jonathan sometimes spoke in terms of violence and killing; he loved guns and knives and movies packed with battle action. Why? Was it because we exposed him to some TV violence when he was young?
I also saw him as hard and selfish at times. I longed to have a relationship with him, but he didn’t seem so inclined at all. Was it because of the warfare between his mother and me?
I’m thankful to report that as this Auto Part 6 is prepared for posting, Jonathan has developed into a preciously decent human being with respect and earnest consideration for all. He empathizes, sympathizes, and does what he can to help others in need, especially those disadvantaged in some way not of their doing. He demonstrates great concern for Marilyn and is ever playful with me.
More rewarding to me is that he seeks my advice on important and spiritual matters. I’m so thankful for him. God has blessed us in many ways with Jonathan, despite my overly affectionate or idolatrous tendencies with him.
I’ve spent my lifetime calling people “stupid” to this day and now I realized that I’m the stupid one, unable to think through even simple matters. It’s like I’d been paralyzed, in a perpetual stupor, quite incapable of many things most others are able to think or do with ease.
On January 14, 1998, the Lord gave me an important revelation for comfort concerning Paul and me: God does not demote His chosen sons. With Him, it is all or nothing. His gifts and calling are without repentance (Romans 11:29). A calling remains in spite of the person’s faults or weaknesses, or even offenses.
For example, David, who committed adultery and murder, was repentant and forgiven. David wasn’t even removed as king of Israel for his grievous sins.
On the other hand, King Saul committed a sin that seemed much less of an offense. Under pressure, in the face of hordes of Philistines, his army deserting him, Saul took it upon himself to offer a sacrifice to God. Samuel, God’s anointed prophet was late to make the sacrifice at the appointed time before the battle began. For Saul’s act, he wasn’t just demoted; he was dethroned.
So what is the difference? Why was Saul destroyed and David restored? It’s because David was called, chosen, and sealed in destiny, not because of any virtue of his own, but because God willed it to be so. Saul was also called, chosen, and destined, but to be a vessel of dishonor, not of honor.
In 1984, the Lord promised me that Paul would make his calling good, that He had given him to me, even as He gave Aaron to Moses. God had not demoted Paul or me. Either my calling remained or I was altogether cast out; so with Paul.
Frequently, I’ve been attacked by thoughts and feelings in the night and early morning hours before awaking. I’m reminded that a messenger from Satan has constantly troubled me. Doubtless, this is the explanation for much of my troubling. I’ve been “buffeted” to be humbled. I also well know I would be an even more troublesome jerk to live with, “exalted above measure,” if not troubled constantly with these thoughts and with weight concerns.
These two things have served to abase me – with great necessity. Does God need these tools? Could He not just make me as He thinks I should be? Did He need to send a messenger from Satan to humble the apostle Paul? Could He not have made Paul humble without a troubling devil?
Kerri called that morning from Great Falls, declaring she knew their marriage was of God and therefore I was wrong. However, when they were getting their marriage license, she said, “We’re going through the legal motions, but we consider our real marriage there in Canada when you bless it.” The blessing never came, as much as I was willing to give it. If she were honest and consistent, she’d have to admit they’d never been married. When I told her this, she had nothing to say.
Paul comments: “Kerri misspoke there. I never said I didn’t consider our marriage real until there was a blessing from you, so ‘we’ isn’t applicable in that statement. I had hoped for a blessing, but didn’t presume upon God for one.”
I wrote in my journal: “I’m thinking again of how Marilyn has been right on many things, and that she therefore is likely right on my physical death and consequent events thereafter, like marrying Sean. She said yesterday that when I accept or rather believe I’m dying, revelation flows, God speaks, and all is well, even exciting.
That certainly seems to have been true, but how do I deal with believing her saying I’m going to die, while the Lord says I’m not going to die? Do I believe her? He asked me if I will believe Him. Things don’t make sense.
I’ve had penciling in my stool for the past two to three weeks and this morning, blood. Lord, have I not asked You about my health? Have not the prophecies indicated and have You not told me I’d be fine, that I didn’t have cancer? If You were taking care of my concerns, would that not include my physical health? Or am I condemned?
Marilyn asked about King Saul prophesying after God replaced His Spirit of anointing with an evil spirit on him. Was she wondering about me? I’ve no doubt she has viewed me as Saul and Sean as David at times, and also me as Nabal and Sean as David. These two opposed David, who received Nabal’s wife after Nabal died, and Saul’s throne after Saul died.
My condition of body seems to give strong indication of an impending horrible death. I have preached healing and miracles, and spoken of a lack thereof as caused by unbelief and sin. Here I am.
The words of James 5:1-6 haunt me. I see the Korg piano and gadgets we bought – thousands of dollars, unused, while Archie and his family and Lois and her boys went without even basic necessities like socks for the kids. I was so, so hard on them and selfish. It’s horrible – not that I was aware of their needs, especially when Archie insisted on his great offerings.
Indeed, the coming of the Lord (judgment) draws near and is here. I sit alone, stripped of possessions, companionship, wife, young son, health, and life itself. What purpose is there left for me to live? Marilyn is gone and she is right.
Lord, I have spoken against all, and I have suspected, spoken, and prophesied against Sean. If I have been wrong or evil, and if he is Your chosen servant, will You tell me and grant me repentance and forgiveness? Or will I die as Nabal, the fool, and as Saul, the demon-troubled king?
I’ve suspected and spoken of Marilyn in terms of hearing false things and of adultery. If she has spoken by You, then I’ve despised prophecy, condemned Your spokesperson, and therefore done it to You. Nobody does such and lives or deserves to live, especially if he has formerly been given so much, as I have.”
Whether messengers or ministers truly serve the Lord or not, they do speak some true things. I have often experienced this with many different persons. Again I tuned in to The Miracle Channel and Joyce Meyer was speaking on her program, Life in the Word. Though she seemed light, joked, and entertained about the subject matter, I couldn’t deny the truth of what she was saying.
She spoke of ceasing to try to change people and circumstances, to start doing God’s will rather than getting Him to do yours, to get your nose out of other people’s business, to quit striving but rather accept one’s circumstances. Joyce also spoke of staying focused. We miss doing what is required of us because we allow distractions and side issues to interfere, she said.
I cried and said, “Right on!” This isn’t the first time the Lord has used women to speak to me. Besides Marilyn, Lois has often ministered to me. God used Kathy Wiebe in 1975, the Richardson group girl in Dauphin in 1977 – head covering and all – and He used Olga at the Catholic Charismatic meetings in Dauphin in 1977.
I’m tired of trying to control everything. Joyce says, “You want peace? Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong! God is running things – let Him do it; stop fighting.” (Thomas Kempis says the same thing in Of the Imitation of Christ, Book 3, chapters 24 and 25).
END OF PART VI
COMING NEXT: PART VII – SURPRISE VISITORS TO DAY 888
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Page 10 PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.) Particle – I Am Evil I wrote in my journal: I am evil, a hypocrite, a destroyer; always was. There has been no change in me. I've tried to believe, think, and speak right; to love, obey, submit, repent, suffer, accept, thank, rejoice, and do and be all those things I thought were expected of me as a believer in Christ. I've failed miserably and suffered the loss of almost all things. Being blind, I probably don't see clearly at this point that I've lost everything. I criticize, condemn, point the finger, “judge,” “smite with the fist,” “lay heavy burdens,” enslave, impose, demand, trouble, rail, find fault – always. I chafe at things I don't like; I fret, stew, and verbally, violently retaliate. I'm that meddling, destructive son of perdition, man of sin, false prophet, anti-Christ, accuser of the brethren, devil, adversary to God, to all good, and to all mankind. I am ‘that wicked one.' I'm vile and have nothing to do with God or He with me. No wonder I've lost everything! No wonder I'm hated by all, including my ex-wife. I'm a damned soul and have neither the ability nor desire to change. God knows I've wanted to be different, or does He know that I haven't wanted to be different? God damn my soul! If I don't destroy myself, God will. If He won't, I will – I've done it. All these years, for decades, I hoped for change, deliverance, resurrection, and healing. I prayed, begged, wished, and cried for it. God ...
Page 11 PART TEN - The Issues of Life (cont.) Particle - Larry Spencer Resurfaces Around December 3, 2003, we heard in the news that Larry Spencer, whom we met through Henry Blackaby in our Baptist work in Regina in 1974, had been expelled by Stephen Harper from the federal conservative Canadian Alliance party caucus for making remarks about homosexuals. I called him and we talked. I shared our website with him, expecting that as a Baptist minister, he would disagree with much of the content. Later, I found his public apology of November 27 and wrote him. Here is the letter and apology, to which I received no reply: December 4, 2003 Hi, Larry and Sue, I opened up the Alliance newsletter they send by email and found your apology in it. Then I recalled that I wanted to express my disagreement with at least part of it: "I apologize for linking the homosexual community with pedophilia. I was wrong to draw such an inference." "I apologize to my colleague Svend Robinson [homosexual Member of Parliament]. I have the utmost respect for Mr. Robinson as both an individual and as a parliamentarian." First, I do agree that not all homosexuals can be accused of pedophilia, at least not directly. Therefore, from a technical, legal, and political perspective, you were speaking unadvisedly. However, you and I both very well know that the two sins, according to Scripture, are more than close cousins. When God gives men over to the lusts of the flesh, as you said the night of our...
Page 13 PART TWO – Pentecost to Israel (cont.) Particle – A Chest of Treasure At Caroline, we met and had fellowship with Ernie and Robin Gouchie from Prince George, British Columbia. They were natives and members of Ernie Chadwick's church. Robin didn't participate in many of the meetings. She felt that many of the people thought they knew a lot, talked too much, and listened too little. Robin had a vision for us of a chest full of treasure. While it seemed to sound good, we had no idea what it meant, but one day we would. Particle – One Zealous Worker of Many There we also met John Taal. He was a tall elderly fellow, who was quite joyous, friendly, energetic, and zealous. His expressed ambition was to serve with Brother Andrew, smuggling Bibles through the Iron Curtain. I believe he had his wish granted, though I'm not sure. I will mention more of him later. Particle – The Koster Connection We met Bill Koster there, who was from Taras, British Columbia. As we did many times, we discovered the world to be a small place. You will remember Len and Ruth Koster to be the first to whom we spoke about receiving the Spirit, Len being the outreach minister at Faith Baptist Church. I never did know if Len and Ruth were related to Bill. We didn't realize the connection between them until a year later when Bill came visiting us. Particle – My First Inner Healing Charlie Pegelow, Cliff Stalwick's mentor and spiritual elder (I believe) in the Charismatic movement, was ...