PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven (cont.)
Often and for long periods of time, God has hidden Himself from His called ones, as with all the saints and prophets of old. We desire so much to walk by sight, but we need to learn to walk by faith, by the little given knowledge of the unknown, in order that we may know Him.
And though He hides Himself to try us, He’s always there; there’s nowhere one can go from His presence. Emptiness isn’t a bad sign in itself, as one might suppose.
I am ill with sorrow and grief,
Vexation and loneliness;
My soul is filled with groanings and longings;
I look in all directions;
I reach out;
My hand returns empty.
Tears fill my soul;
I cry and cry and cry;
There is no one to comfort, to console, to ease my pain.
Day after day, year after year,
Decade after decade,
I wait, I long, I cry;
I heave and sigh.
There is none to understand.
I wait for morning;
I wait for evening;
I eat, I sleep, I cry.
Is it sin I say I don’t have
That causes me to be this way –
Desperate, sad, lonely, unfulfilled,
Useless, despised, unwanted?
This is not the abundant life.
Though I have my carnal needs met
And freedom to come and go,
I have nowhere to come and go.
All is quiet, uneventful, drab, and grey.
Do I complain,
Or do I merely state the way things are
For those appointed to such by Divine order,
Not for sin,
But for His purposes?
I don’t know.
I do know I am very sad and very lonely;
This I do know.
I note that I’m not fearful
As I once was;
I’m not doubtful of my path
As I once was;
Or am I?
I don’t covet my neighbor’s shoes;
There is no being with whom I would trade.
Yet I perceive that if
It were not for the Lord’s hand on me,
I would surely be tempted
To end my life.
If it were not for hope of better things,
I would despair so that
I would arrange my end.
So much for which to be thankful,
Needs provided abundantly,
A good wife,
A new healthy son,
Health, order, safety, and outer peace,
Yet a desperate longing within
For what, I don’t know –
Friends? Companions? Work?
Importance? Usefulness? Fame?
Glory? Honor? Recognition?
I don’t know.
In still times I’m troubled.
I don’t know.
I DO know I am very sad and very lonely;
This I DO know.
Moon River, Oct. 29, 1991
In one of these years, I received something slightly controversial (so what’s new?), yet perfectly understandable, reasonable, and Scriptural. The Lord made it known I could ask Him for answers on behalf of others, and He would give them.
I began to practice that privilege, and I told some people of this gift granted me. I was surprised there were those who didn’t profess faith, yet asked me to ask God, and He answered – every time.
However, His answers were seldom, if ever, what they wished or expected to hear. I found His answers addressed the issues of their hearts. Often they would come complaining about a problem with someone, assuming others needed to change, when it was invariably themselves who needed the correction.
Why do I say that what I heard was controversial? There’s the common doctrine in Protestant circles, primarily among evangelicals, of the “priesthood of the believer.” This doctrine declares each born-again person to have equal, ready, and direct access to God and none needs a mediator or go-between of any kind at any time. The Scripture most often used to defend this doctrine is:
“For God is one, and there is one Mediator of God and of men, the Man Christ Jesus…” (1 Timothy 2:5 MKJV).
Yet how is it some of these people claim to believe in praying for others, as James directs?:
“Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the Name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will cure the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up. And if he has committed sins, it will be forgiven him” (James 5:14-15 MKJV).
James goes on to say:
“Confess faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much” (James 5:16 MKJV).
God gives various gifts to individual members of His Body. Not all have the same gifts.
“But there are differences of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are differences of ministries, but the same Lord” (1 Corinthians 12:4-5 MKJV).
Between the foot and the head are the ankle, shin, knee, thigh, hip, back, abdomen, and neck. Before the blood passes from one point to another, it must use other parts of the body as passages and vehicles. No part is independent; neither does any part exist for itself, but for the rest of the body.
“Lord, who has believed our report?” cried Isaiah. It is to the sinner a prophet is sent, but sinners don’t see or hear because they’re sinners (carnal men can’t receive the things of the Spirit). And because they’re sinners, they’re the ones who need to hear! So both prophet and perpetrator, both saint and sinner, both herald and hearer learn of the grace of God, with Whom anything is possible.
“Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens” (Romans 9:18).
Nobody believes me;
They wince when I speak;
I give them Scriptures;
They give me notions.
They profess to love the Lord,
To honor the Scriptures,
To walk in righteousness and truth.
They have their own bibles
Of bits and pieces,
Tailored to their doctrines,
To suit their purposes.
They hate the Light;
They love their gods
And their sins.
God is anathema to them
As He is,
So they change the glory of God.
They take His Name,
Giving it to gods of their own liking.
They take His words,
Wresting them to their destruction.
With smiling public faces,
They deceive themselves, saying,
“We suffer for His sake;
Our reward is stored up,
For which we have so labored.”
Paupers, laid in the dust,
Naked, diseased, deranged,
Babbling vain repetitions,
Bled bone dry
By the gods they serve,
While I remain healthy, wealthy,
Moon River, Oct. 31, 1991
The pressure was on from acquaintances and the medical establishment for us to vaccinate Jonathan. The arguments were logical and persuasive, not to mention potent in suggestion that we were irresponsible parents for not allowing vaccinations. However, after research and prayer, we decided against them.
After that decision, many instances were made known to us of the harmful effects of vaccinations, like autism immediately following them, transforming otherwise happy babies into screaming nightmares day and night, nightmares from which there was no awakening. I pity the parents with the children.
Vaccinations are a horrible travesty perpetrated on the populace by murderous, money hungry, atheistic opportunists, and by ignoramuses who follow as cattle to do their bidding. The scientific facts are available for all who care to know them, backed by many living proofs of disaster. Reason and common sense protest as much as, or even more than, anything else.
Have you researched the ingredients in vaccines? How diabolical! Formaldehyde, aspartame, mercury, and human diploid cells from aborted fetal tissue, just to name an outrageous few of a lethal plethora. Check out Vaccine Ingredients. It is madness.
Google “Dr. Tenpenny” for excellent information on vaccinations.
I received the following words from the Lord. Near the end, He addressed a concern I had about what to do with our savings. I wanted to do what was right in His sight.
“I have given you power, rushing fiery power that will destroy your adversaries on the left hand and on the right, before you and behind, above and beneath, without and within. You will rule over the nations with a rod of iron, and as vessels of a potter, you will smash them to pieces and scatter the powder to the winds. My vehemence will be manifest in you, nothing thwarting it. Mouths offending and opposing I will shut, and they shall not be opened.
You are My chosen vessel and I will not tolerate any to touch you any more than the apple of My eye. They have all poked their fingers at My face and have fingered their noses at Me. They have railed and vomited on Me and on you because of Me. No longer will they be tolerated and permitted to do so.
You speak, My son, and fear nothing. They will proceed no further as they have done. Only do not do as they in man’s railing and wrath. Speak the truth by My Spirit, in the spirit of righteousness and temperance, and I will surely see to the results, that they are entirely in your favor and in the favor of all those who stand with you and whose interests you represent.
It’s here, My son, it is here! The time for victory is here. I will turn to shame the heads of those who despise you, and they will turn or I’ll break their necks. They will swallow their poison. They will be forced to revere you or die. Those who resent you can no longer do so without death to themselves. This is the beginning of your partaking of the heritage of the saints as you haven’t known it before, which the Lord your God has granted. Amen.
Do as you please with your investment money. It doesn’t matter. If it was important that you should have more, you would have more, and so will it be in the days ahead. ”
Moon River, Oct. 31, 1991
“Sussie” is what Marilyn called the female Northern Cardinal that appeared at our feeder on December 15th, 1991. We had been putting out bird feed since shortly after moving to Moon River, watching for new and different birds. Spotting this one, we were excited. Checking our Peterson Bird Guide, we found her, but being novices at bird watching, we decided to confirm.
We called the Helen Schuler Coulee Center and they referred us to Doug and Theresa Dolman, somewhat experienced birders. Theresa tested me on the phone: “So the bill is black, isn’t it?” not wanting to go on a wild goose chase, even if she was a birder.
“No, the bill is more of an orange color,” I replied.
They had enough reason by our description to investigate. When they arrived and confirmed, Theresa said, “This is a rare occasion. If you were to let birders know, they would all want to come and see it.” (It was only the third official sighting of a Northern Cardinal in Alberta history.)
Our reaction: “By all means, let them know and let them come. We’d be glad to have them.”
They came all right – from all over Alberta. The fascinating thing was that birders would travel hundreds of miles, wait for Sussie to appear, log their sightings, and be gone (she disappointed only one person, I believe). She was with us until the end of March 1992 – 3½ months. (There’s that number again.)
At that time, I received a prophecy, of which I have on record only these words: “They will come from far and they will be many, and of many different kinds.”
This spoke of people coming, believing, joining themselves to us, and worshipping God, living right lives in godliness, victory, joy, and thankfulness.
We met some interesting people in the birding world. First, there were Doug and Theresa Dolman. There were Liz Savoy (later Saunders) of Monarch; Malcolm and Joan McDonald, Ross Dickson, Richard Thomas, Brooke and Eric Tull, Bill McKitterick, and Rodger Dunn of Calgary; Peter Sherrington of Cochrane; Lois McKillop, Doris Rhodes, Jay Vander Gaast, Betty Haig, Dale and Paul Baumback, Graham and Pat Greenlee, Doug Walker, and Witek Gierulski of Lethbridge; Suzanne Benoit of Vermillion; Lloyd Bennett of Taber; Ruth and Jason Attwell, Hazel Hudson, and Grace Norgard of Claresholm; Richard Klauke of St. Paul; and Pat Marklevitz and Terry Thormin of Edmonton.
There was one visit in particular I recall, with Terry Thormin of Edmonton. I believe he was a university professor. He had supper with us. I spoke to him of God, but he was an evolutionist and humanist who placed his faith in man’s ability to make things right through science and technology.
“How and when will man do so?” I asked.
He pointed out the great technological advances, the landing on the moon, the increase in knowledge, medical breakthroughs, improvements in strategies and control in the environment, globalization, and so forth. “Men are becoming more and more advanced and civilized as we evolve,” he concluded.
I was amazed, almost speechless. How in the world could anyone with any amount of education possibly think that way? What was he smoking? Where had he been? I started pointing out a few things:
Concerning the environment: The oceans were being fished out, the forests were being rapidly destroyed, the Exxon Valdez had just broken open, spilling great gobs of oil, and nuclear waste was everywhere, just to name a few of the biggies.
Concerning man being “civilized”: We had finished WW2, which followed WW1 just two decades earlier; we had the slaughter of millions in Cambodia by the Pol Pot regime in our time, the Viet Nam war, the Korean War, the Cold War; South America was alive and rife with revolutions, Africa was no better, and we had now developed enough nuclear power to erase ourselves from the face of the earth in a matter of hours.
Concerning medical advancement: Cancer and heart disease were rampant and on the increase, tuberculosis had returned, as had other plagues. AIDS was killing millions, and all sorts of new ailments were appearing.
I asked, “Just where and how are we advancing, Terry?”
Then I heard words I didn’t expect to hear, because they are rarely spoken. “You’re right,” he replied; he was perhaps somewhat downcast or disillusioned. He honestly confessed he was wrong. He had more sense than many, in spite of his opening remarks and expressed viewpoint.
I believe I told him that unless God were to stop this train, it was headed at breakneck speed for a complete derailment with no hope for anyone. In other words, Jesus Christ, being very God, is our only hope and we must turn to Him.
I gave him a copy of Evolution – A Poem of Tact, Diplomacy, and Gentle Persuasion. He red it and protested that there were inaccurate suppositions in it, but didn’t specify. I’m not aware of any.
I hope Terry doesn’t succumb to despair in the dismal reality of this world, but looks to the Savior of all mankind, Who is able to save and will save if we turn to Him with our whole hearts. Of course, only God can enable us to do that.
During these years I began to realize a startling thing: The formal organized, structured churches in the world today are the high places of old, as described in the Old Testament. In the high places, people worshipped the Lord and/or other gods, but even if only the Lord, it wasn’t His will He should be worshipped in those places and in that manner. He hated the high places; they were forbidden.
There were very few kings in Judah that had the faith and courage to remove the high places – Kings Hezekiah, Josiah, and Jehoshaphat are examples (2 Kings 18:1-6; 23:5-25; 2 Chronicles 31:1). It always excited me to see them do so. No kings removed them in Israel.
It is no different with professing worshippers today. All the denominations and organizations with their formal services are men’s ideas of worshipping God. They aren’t worshipping Him in spirit and in truth. They’re doing as they please, not as God pleases. Furthermore, there are very few people willing to come out of all church systems, which would be their way of following in the faithful footsteps of Hezekiah, Josiah, and Jehoshaphat.
Page 5 PART THREE– Israel to Bernalillo (cont.) Particle – Let Your Requests Be Made Known to God Moishe could always find a way out of personal pickles, one way or another, obvious or not. One day when he was asking for money, I confronted him, saying he needed to make his needs known to God, not to men. It was a lesson God had taught me, and one I believed was meant for every believer: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 MKJV). As I pressed home this truth, and his arguments failed, he broke into an affected, “Oy, oy, oy! My head! Oy, my head! Oy! Oy!” I found it hard to believe he was being so obviously evasive. It appeared that Jesus wasn't his Lord, but his Larder. Particle – The Shnorrer Moishe was a shnorrer (look it up in a Yiddish dictionary). He was constantly hitting anybody and everybody up for handouts. As little as we had to do with him, we witnessed this several times. He shnorred when he was asleep and shnorred when he was awake. He was forever shnorring. Was he wise in his spending and money management? Could you give him anything with confidence that he respected or appreciated it? For example, he drove a big black old Cadillac, a gas-guzzler someone gave him. I was with him one day as he d...
Page 17 PART TWO – Pentecost to Israel (cont.) Particle – Learning My Father's Business On more than one occasion, Aunt Hazel tried to tone me down in my zeal to speak to my family about the Lord. I recall speaking to my sister Barbara on the phone from Aunt Hazel's home. Barbara foolishly and ignorantly accused me of reading a prepared script to her. Hazel felt I shouldn't have been saying anything to her. She was right, and she was wrong. I wasn't ready to sow or reap, and my sister wasn't ready to receive. I was preachy. It seems to me it would have been better to just share my life's experience, if anything at all, and leave it at that. Or perhaps I simply should have walked away. Yet, as I now see it, babies must burp, gurgle, soil their diapers, fail, be disappointed, and learn by trial and error. It is part of the process in all of His creation. These things are natural and necessary. I must therefore conclude that, as awkward as I was, and as foolish as it appeared, it was good that I spoke – all part of His plan. Sadly, Barb would pay a horrific price for her opposition in time to come. Particle – Battling and Baffling the Baha'i There was an arts instructor at the technical institute in Dauphin who did some ceramics. I decided to meet with him to seek out possible benefits for ARC Industries. He was an Egyptian and a member of the Baha'i religion. He invited me to his home, so Marilyn and I visited him and his wife. They soon brought forth their b...
Page 16 PART ONE – Darkness to Light (cont.) Particle – Turning to Jesus Christ After seven evenings, each with hours of instruction, I began to believe that Jesus Christ was The Answer for me. I knew I was not right with God, I was not able to make myself right with Him, and I wanted so much to be right with Him. Here George told me exactly how it was possible, and the only way possible. Finally, somewhat sheepishly, I said, “George, can we pray?” There I was, a proud, stuffy, stogie-sucking salesman, at a crossroad of life. He was out of his chair and on his knees in a flash, and I got down on mine. Almost instantly, I was surprised. I didn't know what to say or how to pray. I thought if anyone knew how to pray, it would be a Catholic! I was silent, stumped. It didn't even occur to me to pray an “Our Father” or a “Hail Mary.” “Speak respectfully to God as you would to a loving Father, a respected person,” George quietly advised. “Tell Him your thoughts and what you want.” Awkwardly, yet desperately and sincerely, I asked Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and to take over my life, which I confessed I could not manage or change on my own. George also prayed, he shared some Scriptures with me to assure me God had heard my prayer, and we rose from the floor. I did not feel, hear, or see anything. A little disappointed, yet somehow at peace, I went home. Particle – God Is Real! In the days to follow, changes occurred in me over which I had no control and for wh...