Who is going to do it – I or God? Who will initiate – the one led or the One leading? Do we help Him? Does He need our help? Were we around to help Him start it all? Do we think we must at least be around to help Him finish it? Do we have any understanding as to what the finish should be?
Either I reign or God reigns. Either I call the shots or He does. And every soul is in damnation until it learns to put its trust entirely in Him. As one has already put it, “Let go and let God.”
Grab a hold! Grab with all you’ve got!
Grab? Grab what?
I have grabbed and grabbed and grabbed.
I now find nothing to grab, and if I did,
I would be too exhausted to grab.
I once sat and waited.
I waited. I waited to see. I waited to hear and to understand.
Nothing came for me to grab.
But then nothing grabbed me and I could wait no more.
I went out to grab, finding something to grab.
Now I grab instead of wait.
And I hurt for grabbing.
I grab again and the pain grows intense, intolerable.
Then I remember………….no more grabbing!
So I wait until I am grabbed again by the One
Who already holds me and Who teaches me not to grab
But to rest and to be grabbed.
Lethbridge, July 20, 1984
Our Lord's final stage of suffering began and His social freedom ended with a kiss of betrayal from the lips of one who followed Him for years calling Him "Master." Our journey of learning has its bitter moments, none more bitter than the times of subjection to duplicity, hypocrisy and betrayal. Such a pleasant face! What a wonderful disposition! What do you want from me? Or is it just that you have nothing to lose? How easy it is to be pleasant And helpful and polite; How easy it is to show one self noble And virtuous, even saintly When there is something to be gained, And the one with whom you are friendly has it. Here, take what it is you are after. I am so happy to give it to such A pleasant fellow as you... As long as you'll promise me To keep your end of the bargain. I expect you'll be as congenial as you are now, When once you have what you seek from me. You tell me you are honest; You tell me you are reasonable and deserving And just and upstanding and unselfish. Fair enough! Here it is! I could not have given it to a better man. But sir, what about your promise? What promise!? A misunderstanding?! I was mistaken? But you said..! I'm trying to get blood out of a stone you say? Unreasonable?! But it's broken! You guaranteed it worked! "As is" you say? "Buyer beware" you say? Why is your face clouded? Why are you suddenly so harsh and haughty? Where are the meekness, the gentleness, The politeness, the smiles? Where...
Until the believer is perfected, there remains some atheist in him. He says he believes, but in the final analysis, his fruits tell otherwise, quite. We worry, doubt, or fear because we don’t believe. Examining ourselves in the Light, we discover the truth about ourselves. That Light’s source is the fire that serves to purge us of the atheist within, that fire being an enemy at first, and a friend in the end. How will I know I can stand the fire Unless I am subjected? How do I develop muscle to do heavy work Unless I do heavy work to develop muscle? How do I form calluses on my hands to prevent blisters Unless I do those things That make blisters? I say I have faith to do anything, To suffer all things and smile, even laugh But how do I get that faith Unless I suffer the very things To produce the faith To laugh at the things concerning which I say I have faith? How can I cry and say, “I believe”? But when I believe, I shall not cry When the fires come Because the fires have done their work. Lethbridge, August, 1984
I have heard it said many times that whatever divides is not of God. Of course, that simply depends on what is being divided and why. Is it not of God to divide sheep from goats, fleece from sheep, truth from error, heretics from the faithful, wheat from the tares? The problem is that those who make the statement above presume to be sheep or, they are under the false notion that pain and suffering and sorrow arising naturally from division are products of Satan and not of God. But these same people indulge in dividing others in the Name of God and think nothing of it. And does not God wound and break? Does He not call to forsake wife, children, parents and friends? Is forsaking easy and pleasant? If so, it would not be forsaking. I am not sent for division's sake; I do not come to attack; Strife and debate I do not sow, Yet all these are found where I go. I haven't come for evil's sake, Bearing trouble, sorrow and pain, Yet the sword I bear Will cut in two And each half in two again. There are those who wish to take the truth And claim it for their own But others, joined to them, declare "If you go, you go alone." I cannot help but cause this woe If I am to speak what is true; I can only hope as time goes on That your loved ones will come too. But you cannot wait for them to come, The time to take heed is now. Just as you cannot wait for yours, The call cannot wait for you. As friends increase, my enemies...