From: Nigel
To: The Path of Truth
Sent: Saturday, June 21, 2014 12:46 PM
Subject: hardening of heart
Hi there, In March 2011 at the age of 42, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinsons Disease. I had the symptoms in my right hand for about 2 years previous to that with virtually no change, tho i had known something wasn’t right for several years. Shortly after diagnosis things started going wrong and an incredible series of events led to an almost constant stream of intuitive revelations regarding the nature of PD, dementia and many spiritual things , have left me in no doubt that god is showing me the wages of my sin is death, and have now left it spiralling out of control
In a nutshell i have realised the rebellious and cowardly (percieved as clever at the time) choices i have made in those situations in the normal course of life which require trust and obedience, i.e. when the purpose was not clear to me, has from my earliest days as a child (possibly even in the womb; overdue forceps delivery) to my current situation, resulted in the same pattern; avoidance; because I didn’t understand the purpose or feared the outcome , followed by some subsequent form of overcompensation in a pursuit of my own choosing, probably as a means of hiding my failure from others and an attempt at self justification.As a result my soul never matured and developed as a normal person might. Perceived success in these chosen pursuits thru my “intelligence”, pursuit of “knowledge” and “stuborness” led to pride and an image/identity I could hide my self doubts behind and fear of losing this identity ironically has led to my present illnesses and tormented soul. As a consequence I have destroyed my life and my attempts to use/find faith to overcome this fear has only made things much worse.
At first I was very positive and hopeful, but now am hopeless and tormented by the fear of gods wrath before and after death when the truth showed me for who i really am. My fear of the torment of eternal punishment has not only rapidly accelerated my physical deterioration but also precipitated a whole series of pyschological changes and worst of all, hardened my heart to the point i live in perpetual fear of how it will all end. When I feel safe I logically recognise and accept God and the Gospel of Jesus as the truth but when im tested by constant pain and the challenge of trying to live without sin in a sinful world my soul reveals itself as too weak to find true faith,and i become worse than before in my heart. I understand faith as trust and obedience to god unto death. Only from trust does fear subside and love develop and from love comes genuine good works.
I have tried before to find faith and this time have tried for a year and a half but as a consequence my heart and soul have hardened immeasurably and my body and mind deteriorated rapidly. Jesus was right about the soul of the man who sweeps his house clean being far worse off in the end. my question is what am i supposed to do? The more i try the worse things get because no man can overcome sin by his own efforts and the process merely allienates me from those around me increasing my fear and conseuently my sin, but not trying seems to be like mocking God. I feel compelled to try even tho its destroying me, I knew from the start 18 months ago I was smashing myelf upon the rocks . What do those who havnt been graced with faith do? My fear is not only damaging me but everyone around me and I want to change but im in a spiritual state of self obsessed paralysis,
Yours in guilt and honesty,
Nigel
From: Paul Cohen and Victor Hafichuk
To: Nigel
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 2:41 PM
Subject: Re: Hardening of Heart
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23 MKJV).
“But Jesus looked on them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 MKJV).
Hi Nigel,
Honesty is a precursor of good things to come if you continue.
You haven’t said what you’re reading on our site, but I would guess you’ve found the section on The Restitution of All Things. You write:
“My fear of the torment of eternal punishment has not only rapidly accelerated my physical deterioration but also precipitated a whole series of pyschological changes and worst of all, hardened my heart to the point i live in perpetual fear of how it will all end.”
Why do you insist on character assassinating God by attributing such a lie to Him – the intention and ability to torture people forever? Where have you ever heard of God being so horribly sadistic or powerless to redeem? You’ve heard it from the evil one, the one who much prefers to keep his children, those of this world, in his domain of darkness. You’ll find no such teaching in Scripture or from servants of God.
Did Christ die for nothing? Did God give His only-begotten Son only to concede mankind to Satan and darkness forever? Satan wishes. What happened to this?
“But the Law entered so that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound, so that as sin has reigned to death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 5:20-21 MKJV).
And this?
“For since death is through man, the resurrection of the dead also is through a Man. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all will be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:21-22 MKJV).
You’re calling Jesus Christ a liar, which demonstrates that you’re presently suffering hell and its condemnation:
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes on Him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the Name of the only-begotten Son of God” (John 3:17-18 MKJV).
The problem with your belief in God is that it’s born of your carnal knowledge and faith and not the faith of Jesus Christ. His is the only faith by which you can overcome the flesh and the world. Going by your own thinking and ways has put you under Satan’s thumb, making you subject to his lies.
“When I feel safe I logically recognise and accept God and the Gospel of Jesus as the truth but when im tested by constant pain and the challenge of trying to live without sin in a sinful world my soul reveals itself as too weak to find true faith,and i become worse than before in my heart. I understand faith as trust and obedience to god unto death.”
But which god is one trusting and obeying? Many are following the god of this world who comes as an angel of light in the name of Jesus Christ, and where is it getting them? Where has it gotten you?
Those following the god of this world and his false Jesus depend on themselves and their own power to live without sin (or simply excuse sinning by saying, “Christ has it all covered”). Of course they fail and remain in sin. That you recognize you can’t achieve sinlessness (but need it) may now work in your favor if it causes you to repent, turning to the Lord Jesus Christ Whom we preach, to live by His thoughts, faith, and justification. He doesn’t deny any that come to Him unconditionally – “Your will, not mine, be done, Lord.”
Romans 3:21-26 LITV
(21) But now a righteousness of God has been revealed apart from Law, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,
(22) even the righteousness of God through faith of Jesus Christ toward all and upon all those believing; for there is no difference,
(23) for all sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
(24) being justified freely by His grace through the redemption in Christ Jesus,
(25) Whom God set forth as a propitiation through faith in His blood, as a demonstration of His righteousness through the passing over of the sins that had taken place before, in the forbearance of God,
(26) for a demonstration of His righteousness in the present time, for His being just and justifying the one that is of the faith of Jesus.
It is taught that when all is finalized, a handful of souls will one day live in perpetual fellowship and joy with their Maker. But how can He have that joy if He doesn’t take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? Eternal torment for those He cares about, if such a thing were so, will also be His torment. If His torment, how can He have fellowship and joy with anyone else?
God does not change; neither can He lie, and He will not lie to Himself or to anyone else about these matters or any other.
Immerse yourself in our writings, Nigel, especially the Teachings, which are the Word of God that bring faith through the preaching of His true Gospel that is found in the Scriptures. Believe and you’ll find life in Him through the obedience of faith.
“Say to them: As I live, says the Lord GOD, I have no delight in the death of the wicked, except in the turning of the wicked from his way, and so to live. Turn, turn from your evil ways; for why will you die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 33:11 MKJV)
Yes, you must die to yourself and your pride, which only the Lord can do for you. You need to come to Him as you are. You can’t prettify yourself into acceptability. Read Holy Waters, Confession of Sin, How One Is Saved, and God Heals Today, His Way.
We also messed up badly and had no hope, so we speak from personal experience in these matters, knowing the Lord is faithful and true to His every Word. He has brought you here to hear the truth. He, the One Who died for you, is the Truth.
And here are promises from Him for those who put their trust in Him:
Romans 10:9-13 MKJV
(9) Because if you confess the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.
(10) For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth one confesses unto salvation.
(11) For the Scripture says, “Everyone believing on Him shall not be put to shame.”
(12) For there is no difference both of Jew and of Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call on Him.
(13) For everyone, “whoever shall call on the Name of the Lord will be saved.”
Joel 2:21-32 MKJV
(21) Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice. For the LORD will do great things.
(22) Do not be afraid, beasts of the field; for the pastures of the wilderness grow green; for the tree bears its fruit, and the fig tree and the vine yield their strength.
(23) Be glad then, sons of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God. For He has given you the former rain according to righteousness, and He will cause the rain to come down for you, the former rain and the latter rain in the first month.
(24) And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
(25) And I will restore to you the years which the swarming locust has eaten, the locust larvae, and the stripping locust, and the cutting locust, My great army which I sent among you.
(26) And you shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the Name of the LORD your God, who has dealt with you wonderfully; and My people shall never be ashamed.
(27) And you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and no one else; and My people shall never be ashamed.
(28) And it shall be afterward, I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh. And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy; your old men shall dream dreams; your young men shall see visions.
(29) And also I will pour out My Spirit on the slaves and on the slave women in those days.
(30) And I will show wonders in the heavens, and in the earth, blood and fire and pillars of smoke.
(31) The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the LORD.
(32) And it shall be, whoever shall call on the Name of the LORD shall be saved; for salvation shall be in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem, as the LORD has said, and in the remnant whom the LORD shall call.
Paul and Victor