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Help, I'm Apostate!

From: Joseph
To: The Path of Truth
Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2016 4:54 PM
Subject: Apostate

I Think I’ve been Cut Off

I fell into to many snares and gave satan to much to work with. My family has been over ran and I lost track of what I was being called out of. I’ve been on prescription pain killers for over 10 years now for a back problem (Addicted) My main focus in life was to get on disabilty instead of pleasing God and I built up a false realty that my way of life was acceptable with God, then when I started to get off of the pain killers I realized the damage that I had done to my brain (Bipolar Disorder) and have been overwhelmed by dysfunctional horrible intrusive thoughts, Panic attacks, breathing problems and my sleeping patterns are off. I have a fearful realization that God had turned me over to reprobation. My wife is a unbeliever and I never fully broke away from my old life. My wife and I are separated now and none of my children are christians. I fear the Holy Spirit may have left me. How far will God go to keep you from falling away? I’ve prayed and tried to turn things around but to much damage has been done and I am not well. Would he turn someone over to Satan (Which I know he has done) for the destuction of the flesh 1 Co 5:5 (or because I’ve become a castaway) I’m hoping he would go to these extreems to keep me from being cut off. I know the Holy Spirit came into my life when I was 20 years old and I had a indescribable Joy at that time but since then I have made to many bad choices and have lost that Joy that is the true witness to the lost. I’m 59 now and I believe God has cut me off because of Disobeidance, Lack of a prayer life, Dishonesty and unfruitfulness. I’ve become a very fearful person now and can’t function normally in life because of what the doctors say is Bipolar Disorder (I’m thinking it’s demonic?). I’m tring to comprehend the fact that God knows that you would be rejected later on in life when he first reveals himself to you. I’ve been tring to find some hope in the scriptures but alot of scriptures seem to condemn me at this point. I’ve been struggling with what to do. End my life as Judas did? I’m very afraid of going to hell. God did work with me for a long time and looking back is very painful. I never thought things would end up looking so Grim. I find myself in a unrecoverable condition (Hebrews 6:4 and 10:26). I’m being peppered with perversion and violent thoughts. The Holy Spirit would not allow this to happen unless he’s left and I’ve been turned over to reprobation and been rejected.

There are nutritional health issues I have to look into and see If it will bring some form of mental recovery but the life I’ve lived doesn’t line up with what God commands of us after he has given us the Holy Spirit to do what we have no power to do without his spirit. If Gods spirit has left me I have no reason to live and I will have no protection from demons to break me down and hijack my body. I’m starting to break down mentally and am suffering from major panic attacks.The only thing keeping me stabilized at this point is the pain medication which is not good. I don’t think there is any hope left for me at this point.
1Pe_4:18  And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?

Joesph

From: Paul Cohen and Victor Hafichuk
To: Joesph
Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2016 7:08 AM
Subject: Re: Apostate

You’ve not been cut off, Joseph because you’ve never known the Lord or been with Him. It’s not too late to repent and live. Read these links and keep reading on our site. Learn the ways of the True Lord Jesus Christ, which, if you walk in them, you will live. Or keep perishing on the way you’re going now. Your choice. 

Paul and Victor

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