From: Justin
To: The Path of Truth
Sent: Sunday, September 21, 2014 9:28 AM
Subject: In absolute crisis
Please to whom it may concern,
My name is Justin and I am going through a most terrible horrifying time. I knew and know the penalty of sin is death, and also know I have nothing but whatever grace God has given me to cling to him in Christ crucified, his only way of salvation and deliverance. Through what I know as not any of my merit or strength I have last Sunday come clean with my wife of the devastating truth that I have been unfaithful, deceptive by having been with other women in adultery for the past two years and couple months of our 5 year marriage. I don’t know any other way that I could’ve actually done this confessing were it not for Him.
This whole week I have consented to her demands and wants, seeming completely rightfully so because I have done such horrendous things, and I don’t have any argument as to why she would want these things. She had wanted me out of the house, so I went to stay at my parents. She had let me see out two children though and says she promises to always keep as their dad.
The day I confessed her sister came down from Massachusetts and stayed with her in our house. The following day or two I can’t remember which, she told me she is wanting a divorce and will be taking the kids to Massachusetts to live with her sister and her husband. I know she needs or wants space, I can’t tell which is the more prevalent one, but I had been saying to please not take my kids out of state.
This weekend came to a head when she had told me her plans to leave Sunday morning with the kids and I were to have them back to our house by 8am because they had been staying the last night with me and my parents. On Saturday I had said that I did not want that to happen, that I will be moving back to out house (I’m self employed so I need to conduct business from our home) and the kids will be staying with me at our house. She did not want that and has then threatened me with lawyering up then because she is going to do that.
There has been absolutely no reasoning with her, and she continues to tell me to keep remembering it’s because of my actions before that she can do whatever she wants to now and do those things with our kids. I have been in an overwhelming stressful and confusing state as to what I could, should or would do. I’ve got family all over saying “she needs her space, just let her go for now, even though it’s your rights as a father to say no and keep the kids here at the house.” And then I’ve got other people saying that legally she can’t leave with the kids without my consent and if she does I can I guess start some legal process to have them return.
As of right now, I am so out of sorts. I have also been reading your articles on the website for about a month now I think. The things you guys write if seem to make very clear sense to me. But then again the same thing has seemed to happen with other books and people in circles of Christianity that I have since found to be something very weird and off with. I just believe God has been drawing me to himself since 2002 when I first truely believed an experienced what I know to be real repentance.
Since then I had an always leering suspicion that my repentance had not been full because I had still such a struggle with sexual immorality that would come in waves. And as it would ebb and flow, and I would actually act on things I never would fully come out with it and confess…. Until this past Sunday!! Praise God! I have not had the strength to do this but by his mercy and grace the confession has been made available and it’s out now!!
I’m sorry so back to why I’m writing, I am at complete odds as to what my obedience to Christ Jesus looks like as I know He is working out and in me His Lordship. This pertaining to whether or not to use my legal rights of this place where I live to actually legally work to have my children come back to live with me, or….even let those rights go and basically allow my wife to decide or dictate whatever she deems best or fit for her and the kids and I just lay down completely because as she said “because of what I had done, do I really have any rights anymore to make her or the kids stay at this house that would cause her such more pain and agony and not be able to be supported by her family in Massachusetts.”
I don’t get or understand a lot of things right now. I know there are consequences that I must face and are facing because of my sin. I am seemingly seeing that there could be obedience to Christ in both ways of handling this situation but something tells me there can’t be, that there is only one way that is the true way of obedience.
I pray the full work of God to be done in this life of mine that is His by the blood of Jesus. Please respond as soon as God allows.
Justin.
From: Justin
To: The Path of Truth
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2014 10:43 AM
Subject: In response to my previous email
Victor,
I don’t if it’s needful for you to get back to me from my first email. This is justin again. I have been continuing to read your teachings and finally have come across to the one on obedience. I pray that God may give unto me a pure heart to obey him in the first and second of ways that you declare from Him, so that I could even dream of hearing His voice concerning the third. I understand and only minutely of the loneliness that I must endure on this road. Thank you for speaking the truth in love and maybe if The Lord wills, I may get an opportunity to hear from you personally.
Your fellow man who has been bought with the most precious blood of Jesus the Christ,
Justin
From: Victor Hafichuk
To: Justin
Cc: Paul Cohen
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2014 6:29 PM
Subject: Re: In absolute crisis/In response to my previous email
Hi Justin,
You write, “I’ve got family all over saying “she needs her space, just let her go for now, even though it’s your rights as a father to say no and keep the kids here at the house.””
They’re right. Take your lumps; you deserve to be stoned to death for your sin of adultery according to the Scriptures. You need to submit to your wife’s demands you’ve relayed to us so far. They are understandable and not unreasonable given the circumstances. You have terribly betrayed and pained her.
“I never would fully come out with it and confess…. Until this past Sunday!! Praise God! I have not had the strength to do this but by his mercy and grace the confession has been made available and it’s out now!!”
Indeed, praise God for repentance and faith to confess. The fact that you were willing to confess honestly will one day dawn on your wife if it hasn’t already. But you must not dictate anything to her. At the time of your writing, it doesn’t look good but that’s okay – you’ve done the right thing.
There are consequences not to be escaped for sin, even with confession and repentance, but as you do the right and not the fearful or selfish thing, the Lord will be faithful to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness. He is able to restore and reconcile.
“This pertaining to whether or not to use my legal rights of this place where I live to actually legally work to have my children come back to live with me, or….even let those rights go and basically allow my wife to decide or dictate whatever she deems best or fit for her and the kids and I just lay down completely because as she said ‘because of what I had done, do I really have any rights anymore to make her or the kids stay at this house that would cause her such more pain and agony and not be able to be supported by her family in Massachusetts.’”
In betraying your wife, you betrayed yourself, God, and your children, as well; be sure of that. Not to mention that you caused those partaking in your sin to betray themselves and others. Doing so, you have no rights. The power is in your wife’s hand to forgive or not forgive, right or wrong.
As I said, take your punishment – all of it as it comes. The Lord will decide where to draw the line of judgment. He knows the hearts. Regardless of the consequences, be thankful, or at least give thanks, that God has granted you repentance and courage to confess. This is a sure sign from above of good things to come, provided you don’t allow yourself to be discouraged or dismayed at what happens.
Continuing on this road, willing to lose and forsake all for righteousness’ sake, it will turn out well in the end. If you don’t continue in repentance and honesty, it won’t turn out well. It will get worse, much worse. Your choice, Justin.
Victor