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“My wife and I have an equal partnership. We consult each other on everything of any importance. I do nothing without her, or she without me. If we aren’t in agreement on something, we leave it. We’re one flesh, as the Lord said we should be. I don’t tell her what to do, and she doesn’t tell me what to do. We work as a team. I don’t believe in domination, like, ‘I’m the boss, your head; you do as I say; submit.’ We have a great relationship, don’t we, dear?”
To many nominal Christians, this attitude and approach sounds like pious egalitarianism. Many pastoral ministries in the world apparently operate by this philosophy. Let’s express this issue by the “scriptures of men” and compare them to the Scriptures of God:
“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an equal partner suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18 Worldly Translation – henceforth referenced as “WT”).
“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18 MKJV).
1 Peter 3:1-7 WT
(1) Likewise, wives, know that you are equal to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the Word, they may also be won without the Word by the harmonious egalitarian conduct of the wives,
(2) having witnessed your authoritative behavior in the fear of God.
(3) Of whom let not be the adorning of garments, or outward braiding of hair and wearing of gold, or of putting on clothing,
(4) but let it be the hidden woman of the heart, in that which is corruptible, the bold and assertive spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God.
(5) For so once indeed the holy women hoping in God adorned themselves, being in equal partnership with their own husbands;
(6) Even as Sarah and Abraham obeyed and called each other ‘lord’; whose children you became, doing good and fearing no terror.
(7) Likewise, husbands, live together according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife as an equal vessel, the female, and as truly being co-heirs in every way together of the grace of life, not cutting off your prayers.
1 Peter 3:1-7 MKJV
(1) Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the Word, they may also be won without the Word by the conduct of the wives,
(2) having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God.
(3) Of whom let not be the adorning of garments, or outward braiding of hair and wearing of gold, or of putting on clothing,
(4) but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, the meek and quiet spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God.
(5) For so once indeed the holy women hoping in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands;
(6) as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children you became, doing good and fearing no terror.
(7) Likewise, husbands, live together according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, the female, as truly being co-heirs together of the grace of life, not cutting off your prayers.
“Wives, you need no longer submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. It is a new day. You ought to submit to each other as a team. It is more blessed to be an equal partnership. However, if any should desire to submit, take turns…as unto yourselves” (Ephesians 5:22 WT).
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 MKJV).
“Let both men and women be silent in the churches: for it is not permitted unto men to speak if women cannot. For neither are commanded to be in subjection, as the Law no longer applies – it has forever been done away. Let all things be done with just balance. However, if one wishes to speak, let all speak, that there may be fairness and equity in the house of God… better to have confusion than inequality. And if they desire to learn anything, let husbands and wives ask each other at home: for it is a shame for a woman not to be allowed to speak in a church, if a man is permitted to do so. Or did the Word of God go out from you? Or did it reach only to you?” (1 Corinthians 14:34-36 WT)
“Let your women be silent in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but to be in subjection, as the Law also says. And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home; for it is a shame for a woman to speak in a church. Or did the Word of God go out from you? Or did it reach only to you?” (1 Corinthians 14:34-36 MKJV)
Why the sudden dead silence in the church? Or is it uproar?
“Wives, you need not submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is not fit in the Lord, unless, of course, your husbands also submit unto you. Equal partnership or nothing – that’s now the way it is” (Colossians 3:18 WT).
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 KJV).
“Children, follow the example of your mother and father; you needn’t submit any more than do your mothers. Thus you will know how to conduct yourselves when you marry one fine day. Unless more changes come, yet again” (Colossians 3:20 WT).
“Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20 MKJV).
“And, servants, equality applies to you as with husbands and wives. You need not obey your masters in all things unless they treat you as masters, too. Let your obedience be with eyeservice, as menpleasers; with duality of heart, feigning to fear God” (Colossians 3:22 WT).
“Slaves, obey your masters according to the flesh in all things; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God” (Colossians 3:22 MKJV).
“Let men and women learn in silence with all subjection to one another. But I do not allow a woman to teach, or to exercise authority over the man, or the man over the woman, but to be in silence. For both Adam and Eve were first formed. And Adam and Eve were both deceived and in the transgression. But they shall both be kept safe through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and blessed equality, as partners – arm in arm” (1 Timothy 2:11-15 WT).
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I do not allow a woman to teach, or to exercise authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. But she will be kept safe through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with sensibleness” (1 Timothy 2:11-15 MKJV).
“But I would have you know that the Head of every man is no longer Christ (they are equal); and the head of the woman is no longer the man (they are equal partners); and the head of Christ is no longer God, but all are in equality, partners” (1 Corinthians 11:3 WT).
“But I would have you know that the Head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3 MKJV).
How about equality in all things?
“Does not even nature itself teach you that if a woman has long hair, it is a shame unto her? But if a man has long hair, it is a glory to him: for his hair is given him for a covering. However, if both have the same length of hair, then all is fair, unisexual, and good indeed. If you are to be equal, you ought to look equal” (1 Corinthians 11:14-15 WT).
“Does not even nature itself teach you that if man has long hair, it is a shame to him? But if a woman should have long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her in place of a veil” (1 Corinthians 11:14-15 MKJV).
“A virtuous man is a crown to his wife: but he who causes shame is like rottenness in her bones” (Proverbs 12:4 WT).
“A woman of virtue is a crown to her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4 MKJV).
Now let’s see: Were these verses written recently, or were they written nearly two millennia ago or more? If long ago, have they changed? If so, when did they change, and by whose authority?
If the purpose and meaning of verses concerning marital relationships have changed with the times, pray tell what else of the Word of God must we believe to have been altered or cast off? What are we left with that we can confidently believe?
“Let us break their bands in two and cast away their cords from us” (Psalms 2:3 MKJV).
Ah, yes, this is indeed the Day of Liberty! Do you know why there are “equal partnerships” now proudly declared by husbands and wives? Because there are none! That’s right: Wives rule. Women have usurped the authority over men, and in some cases have subtly made men to feel and think that they (the men) have equality.
Men, for their part, have willingly abdicated their responsibility of faith and obedience to God by submitting to their wives, who have been deceived by the serpent from Eve’s day down to the present. Believe it. Men have used their wives as an excuse for disobeying God since Adam, who said (and still says), “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the Tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12). Men do not believe, and therefore they follow their wives.
“Well, you’ll have to talk to the wife, the better half; she’s the boss, you know!” How often have we heard that said in wry humor, but as truthfully as anything can ever be said?
“I’m a good husband – I do as I’m told!” How sad and true!
“You can tell she wears the pants in the family!” The truth is told; often it is not so obvious, but no less true.
“Sorry, I think it’s a really good product, and I’m sure that it would help us a lot, and I’m all for it, but my wife says, ‘No.’ Maybe some other time, OK?” (Spoken out of earshot of the wife, of course.)
“Well, I disagree with you, Victor; my wife lets me be the head of the family, don’t you, dear?”
Why are men dying at an earlier age than women, on average? I think it’s because they’ve disobeyed God and heeded the serpent by their wives, instead. Satan became the prince of this world by seducing the wife, who then, along with her willing husband, became as God, knowing good and evil, which the serpent promised would happen. God also confirmed that such had happened (Genesis 3:5, 22). Authority was reversed from God-Adam-Eve-Serpent, to Serpent-Eve-Adam-God. Man so chose. (Read The Origin and Identity of Satan.)
Dear seeker, the serpent speaks truth, too. The problem is not what he says, but why he says it – and the “why” is what makes him a liar and murderer (John 8:44). And, man, do you think your wife speaks well? Of course she does! The Tree of Knowledge is of good as well as of evil. But do you know the difference? Not if you’re “in equality” with your wife, you don’t. I didn’t.
And, wife, do you mean well? Of course you do! And the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. You and your husband must repent of the present order of things as inspired of the Devil, obey God, and take your rightful place in His desired order of things.
Now, I’m speaking of so-called Christian marriages, people. It is the woman who decides on most of the important matters that concern them. I know. I was there for 22+ years and didn’t realize it until the Lord took me aside for 3½ years and revealed it to me. What a shock! And all those years I had the silly notion that I was head of the house! In “theorology” only.
In the Christian, Biblical context of life, we believe husbands are supposed to be the head; we assume it’s automatically that way if we’re Christians. And many of us men have tried to give the appearance that we’re the head of the house. But it really isn’t that way at all. We have deceived ourselves.
Look around you and soberly consider: What marriage can you honestly point to wherein the husband is the true head of the house? Apart from ours (and my wife and I must always be vigilant, since apprised of the reality and corrected), I know of no such marriage. Nor does anyone with whom I have discussed this topic.
In the past, my wife did the cooking, laundry, general housework, grocery shopping, and other mundane chores. We had sex regularly (she didn’t deprive me in the flesh), and I drove the car. Isn’t it interesting how driving the car can make a man feel like he’s in the driver’s seat? Like wearing pants makes you feel like you’re wearing the pants! But are you?
Equality of spouses in marriage is an evil premise. It is a doctrine from the serpent. It has nothing to do with the will of God. It is confusion.
But the Day of the Lord is now here. The Lord Jesus Christ is here to restore all things. He has defeated the enemy, and He will establish His Kingdom on earth forever. All will be in order as intended from the beginning.
Men, you need to forsake your wives. A man said to me, when I told him so, “Well, what about the Scripture that says, ‘Husbands love your wives’? How are we supposed to love them if we forsake them?”
And I answer, “Is He not the One Who also spoke the words, ‘If any man come to Me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whosoever does not bear his cross, and come after Me, cannot be My disciple’? Does He contradict Himself?”
So how are we to love our wives? Do we love them by following their lead? No, not at all. We’re to turn and believe and obey the Lord. In doing so, we must forsake our wives, stop following them, obeying them, believing them, and deceiving one another by thinking we love them because we give them their way.
Husband, whom are you really following, the Lord or your wife? Let me ask you this: Did Abraham let Sarah know he was going to sacrifice Isaac? Had he confided to her what God had commanded him only, what do you think her reaction (and decision) would have been?
Jesus said, “He that has My commandments and keeps them, he it is that loves Me…” (John 14:21). If you don’t obey God, you don’t love Him. If you don’t love Him, how can you genuinely say you love your wife? True, you may love her as one loves art or wine or music, meaning you love her for the benefits and pleasures she affords you. But that’s not the love I’m talking about. I’m talking unselfish, giving, sacrificial love, with no strings attached – agape love (1 Corinthians 13). This requires the love of God.
True love is nonexistent with fellow man if he doesn’t love God. In loving God, we love our wives, not in passion or in emotion, but in spiritual reality. Emotion flows from there, yet not to be mistaken for love itself. And emotion can exist without true love, as Hollywood and unbelievers in their relationships effectively testify.
“Marital Equalitarians” respond with another Scripture:
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
And I say to you that it was the very same person, Paul, who also said, “Wives, submit to your husbands.” Was Paul confused? Was he a deceiver, a hypocrite, or a fool? No, but those who selfishly and ignorantly distort the meaning and purpose of his words are.
Thus, they destroy themselves. They say that things appear to be unfolding as they should. But are they unfolding, or unraveling? Can you tell the difference?
“There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12).
By the way, that proverb is repeated in 16:25. You might wonder why it deserves repeating.
You may say you love God, but you’re known by your fruits, not by your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. If you forsake all for Christ’s sake, as He bids you to do, and do those things He requires of you, then yes, you do love Him. Otherwise, you don’t, no matter what you think or feel.
I didn’t love my wife all those years I followed her. I did as she said, allowed her to control me, and deceived myself into thinking I was in charge. I didn’t love her in that I wasn’t being faithful and obedient to God. I wasn’t listening to His Voice – I was listening for His Voice from her, trusting she could hear more clearly than I. I placed an unbearable burden on my wife. And if things went wrong, she surely took the blame.
I didn’t want to take any risk or make mistakes, and I shirked my responsibility. I was as the man burying the talent; I made huge, painful mistakes. Men, we’ve all been guilty of this – it is the legacy of Adam.
Fear, the opposite of faith. Trusting man instead of God. Unbelief. With Adam, you’ve turned to trust your wife, who, with Eve, has believed the serpent. And there, Satan has you. In believing him, you reap terrible consequences, often thinking you’re suffering for righteousness’ sake, or simply not knowing why you suffer. You suffer health-wise, family-wise, financially, mentally, occupationally, socially – in every way – because you don’t believe God. Believing lies and being out of God’s order, husband and wife suffer death and Hell.
What is Hell? Hell is the discomfort of being disconnected from God; it is the inability to believe and receive available good. (Read The State and Fate of Hell.)
Man, are you prepared to forsake your wife and to avail yourself of hearing from God for yourself? If you’re prepared to believe and obey Him, He’ll make Himself known to you:
“He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me. And he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will reveal Myself to him” (John 14:21 MKJV).
If you continue taking the easy way out, believing your wife hears from the Lord for you, or that she must be in agreement with everything you hear from God, then you’ll continue to hear from, and be deceived by, the serpent. You won’t hear from the One you think to hear from and Whom you profess to serve. Nor is the wife alone to be blamed… you are the man (2 Samuel 12:7).
Here is the sequence of events, still unfolding: God spoke to the man. The serpent spoke to the woman. The woman was deceived; the man disobeyed God and followed her instead of Him. The relationship with God was cut off. Death reigned. We call this “the Fall” or “original sin.”
Jesus Christ came to reverse the situation by the cross and resurrection. Now in this last day, man must repent of looking for guidance from his wife, who is inspired by the serpent (as pious and faithful as she may seem to be). He must turn to believe and obey God. If the woman follows the man, both are restored to Paradise. From there, all things are restored in due time.
The reversal has begun. The Lord reigns supreme over all. HalleluYah!
This paper has addressed the ordained headship in a marriage. However, are women of less importance to God than men, or wives than husbands?
Not in the least. The woman is no more sinful than the man and no less able to hear from God and be chosen from a couple to believe. We have seen as many wives as husbands turn from their spouses to God. God is no respecter of persons.
As the husband mustn’t wait for the wife to agree, so the wife mustn’t hesitate to follow the Lord, though the husband doesn’t agree with her. She would hesitate to her perdition. She must forsake her husband and all things that stand in the way of obedience to her Lord and Savior.
An excellent example of a wife of faith is Abigail, who was married to Nabal. Nabal was a fool, living up to his name, while Abigail was a righteous woman. When Abigail perceived that her husband was acting in a selfish and unjust manner and consequently endangering their household, she intervened and saved her house from being slain by the sword and David from slaying with the sword. The Lord killed Nabal and gave Abigail to David in marriage. (Read 1 Samuel 25.)
Woman, in faith, you are no less. Is God calling you to Himself?
The conclusion of the matter is that we turn to the Great Husband of all, the Lord of lords, believing on Him rather than on our spouses, and taking our rightful places before Him.
Consider the alternative to believing this doctrine: Return to order and authority as God has ordained it. Repent and now let it be “The Rise,” instead of “The Fall.” Be restored to Eden and to fellowship with your Maker, your Lord and Savior!