PART FIVE – Moon River to Harvest Haven

Part I ::: Part II ::: Part III ::: Part IV ::: Part V ::: Part VI ::: Part VII ::: Part VIII ::: Part IX ::: Part X ::: Part XI

Part Five PDF

Part V  Page 1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17

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Part I ::: Part II ::: Part III ::: Part IV ::: Part V ::: Part VI ::: Part VII ::: Part VIII ::: Part IX ::: Part X ::: Part XI

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wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part VIII, Page 13
Page 13 PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.) Particle – Bedridden in Pain My leg pain increased, growing worse daily, and I could now hardly walk. Because I lied at the theater, saying we had diet restrictions, now I would have diet restrictions. What a horrible thing I did, and for what? A popcorn and soda snack in the theater, against their policies and wishes? How evil and carnal of me! And what a price to pay! “Lord, please forgive and cleanse and heal! I know I deserve evil – I do – yet I ask Your mercy. I had health, for which I should have praised and thanked You. Instead, I took it for granted and lied.” On May 18th, the leg pain was so horrible and crippling, I couldn't get out of bed, while Jonathan and Marilyn headed to the farm. I couldn't so much as slightly flex my knee. One night, I moved it and shouted out loud in pain, unable to help myself. I was sure the neighbors, if awake, would hear and wonder at it. I began to take Tylenol, which I hated doing, knowing its evil effects, particularly on the liver. I had Chris Den Hertog and his wife do some of the quick, small chores for me each day, like watering the plants and feeding the birds. Curiously, simultaneously, Lois scalded her feet with hot water, and Mark was having neck problems. It seemed we were the guilty ones and were suffering consequences for our sins, particularly opposing Marilyn and Sean. On May 21st, the Lord made it known to me that He wasn't condemning me ...
wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part VII, Page 10
Page 10 PART SEVEN – Surprise Visitors to Day 888 (cont.) Particle – I Am Evil I wrote in my journal: I am evil, a hypocrite, a destroyer; always was. There has been no change in me. I've tried to believe, think, and speak right; to love, obey, submit, repent, suffer, accept, thank, rejoice, and do and be all those things I thought were expected of me as a believer in Christ. I've failed miserably and suffered the loss of almost all things. Being blind, I probably don't see clearly at this point that I've lost everything. I criticize, condemn, point the finger, “judge,” “smite with the fist,” “lay heavy burdens,” enslave, impose, demand, trouble, rail, find fault – always. I chafe at things I don't like; I fret, stew, and verbally, violently retaliate. I'm that meddling, destructive son of perdition, man of sin, false prophet, anti-Christ, accuser of the brethren, devil, adversary to God, to all good, and to all mankind. I am ‘that wicked one.' I'm vile and have nothing to do with God or He with me. No wonder I've lost everything! No wonder I'm hated by all, including my ex-wife. I'm a damned soul and have neither the ability nor desire to change. God knows I've wanted to be different, or does He know that I haven't wanted to be different? God damn my soul! If I don't destroy myself, God will. If He won't, I will – I've done it. All these years, for decades, I hoped for change, deliverance, resurrection, and healing. I prayed, begged, wished, and cried for it. God ...
wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part XI, Correspondence with Art and Doreen Beals
Correspondence with Art and Doreen Beals   Hi Art and Doreen, Paul Cohen here. I am thankful that we’re in touch and particularly for the things Victor has written here. The Lord has greatly blessed us to know Him, and to walk with Him in spirit and in truth in a darkened world, which is particularly dark among those professing His Name. It is wonderful that His light is shining in the darkness. Praise the Lord! It is a glorious thing for those who repent and turn from their wicked ways, but a terrible thing for those who love their lies and sins more than the truth. Art and Doreen, One of my many weaknesses is to be so slow “on the uptake.” A man can punch me in the nose deliberately, so to speak, and two weeks later, I wake suddenly and sit up in bed saying, “He hit me in the nose!” I just do not have the presence of mind as some people do to realize presently what is happening or its implications or significance. I find the “cooking time” varies from a day to many years, even decades. But the Lord has been faithful, taking care of me. He is my Shepherd and I lack nothing, and whatever I have, I have only because He has graciously given it to me. We have thought of you many times over the years, naturally. Many times I thought to call you but did not feel free to do so. Finally, it happened. I came away from our conversation consciously oblivious to its nature, and particularly of where you were coming from, Doreen. Though you and we did not go into any de...

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