PART THREE – Israel to Bernalillo
Part I ::: Part II ::: Part III ::: Part IV ::: Part V ::: Part VI ::: Part VII ::: Part VIII ::: Part IX ::: Part X ::: Part XI ::: Part XII
Part III – Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Part I ::: Part II ::: Part III ::: Part IV ::: Part V ::: Part VI ::: Part VII ::: Part VIII ::: Part IX ::: Part X ::: Part XI ::: Part XII
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wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part VIII, Page 12
Page 12 PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.) Particle – Halting in Obedience Jonathan had spoken the Word of the Lord to me, saying that I needed to send Sean away, and I wasn't obeying. Another ewe was having difficulty lambing, and there was division as to what needed to be done. Marilyn determined that others weren't taking responsibility so she decided to do so, although Sean's vote was to get a vet. She decided not to call the vet, but to try and deal with the situation themselves, with neighbor Rose Slingerland's help (the Slingerlands had experience with sheep). Marilyn decided to use labor-inducing drugs, which was contrary to our philosophy of organic and natural management. Lois called me to inform me of what happened. Triplets were involved. The first lamb that came died, and the next two were desperately tangled in the mother. We lost the lambs and the ewe. Lois also talked about our whole situation. I had always viewed these tragedies as reflections and results of a lack in relationship to God. I wasn't speaking what I needed to speak. I wasn't making the move to evict Sean, afraid that the farm might fall apart if he left, seeing that he was controlling everything and that Marilyn was helping while he was there. I believed she wouldn't tolerate kicking him out and would therefore leave with him or wash her hands of any responsibility towards the farm. Besides, she might take Jonathan with her if she left. I was holding back obedience to God, preservin...
Page 12 PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.) Particle – Halting in Obedience Jonathan had spoken the Word of the Lord to me, saying that I needed to send Sean away, and I wasn't obeying. Another ewe was having difficulty lambing, and there was division as to what needed to be done. Marilyn determined that others weren't taking responsibility so she decided to do so, although Sean's vote was to get a vet. She decided not to call the vet, but to try and deal with the situation themselves, with neighbor Rose Slingerland's help (the Slingerlands had experience with sheep). Marilyn decided to use labor-inducing drugs, which was contrary to our philosophy of organic and natural management. Lois called me to inform me of what happened. Triplets were involved. The first lamb that came died, and the next two were desperately tangled in the mother. We lost the lambs and the ewe. Lois also talked about our whole situation. I had always viewed these tragedies as reflections and results of a lack in relationship to God. I wasn't speaking what I needed to speak. I wasn't making the move to evict Sean, afraid that the farm might fall apart if he left, seeing that he was controlling everything and that Marilyn was helping while he was there. I believed she wouldn't tolerate kicking him out and would therefore leave with him or wash her hands of any responsibility towards the farm. Besides, she might take Jonathan with her if she left. I was holding back obedience to God, preservin...
wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part VIII, Page 16
Page 16 PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.) Particle – In Timing Square I told Marilyn I wanted to gather everyone together to talk. We tried getting together at the corral, but the twin calves were bawling noisily, so we went to the garden shop. It was uncomfortably warm there, so we stepped out into the square and began to talk. I asked Lois, Trevor, Mark, and Sean to publicly express to me what they were thinking and feeling. Lois declared that they were ready to leave, that they could no longer bear Sean's conduct with them. The Bensons were frustrated. I found Lois faltering, however, almost fearful, and she gave me little in the way of substance or specifics to back her standpoint. Mark and Trevor said very little. I then asked Sean what he thought and felt about everything. He stood there in his usual manner, the perfect victim, innocent, with little to say, primarily giving the impression that he was right in all and they were judging him unfairly. I was momentarily stumped. It seemed, by appearances, that the Bensons were selfish whiners and Sean stood there, as if to say, “What's all the fuss about? I'm looking out for everyone's good and I'm confident in what I'm doing! I have nothing against them like they do against me.” I stood there, doubting, wondering what I should do. “Am I wrong about Sean? Is Marilyn right after all? Is he innocent and simply despised by the Bensons?” I asked myself, “What if I'm wrong? What if the Bensons are wrong?” I well kne...
Page 16 PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.) Particle – In Timing Square I told Marilyn I wanted to gather everyone together to talk. We tried getting together at the corral, but the twin calves were bawling noisily, so we went to the garden shop. It was uncomfortably warm there, so we stepped out into the square and began to talk. I asked Lois, Trevor, Mark, and Sean to publicly express to me what they were thinking and feeling. Lois declared that they were ready to leave, that they could no longer bear Sean's conduct with them. The Bensons were frustrated. I found Lois faltering, however, almost fearful, and she gave me little in the way of substance or specifics to back her standpoint. Mark and Trevor said very little. I then asked Sean what he thought and felt about everything. He stood there in his usual manner, the perfect victim, innocent, with little to say, primarily giving the impression that he was right in all and they were judging him unfairly. I was momentarily stumped. It seemed, by appearances, that the Bensons were selfish whiners and Sean stood there, as if to say, “What's all the fuss about? I'm looking out for everyone's good and I'm confident in what I'm doing! I have nothing against them like they do against me.” I stood there, doubting, wondering what I should do. “Am I wrong about Sean? Is Marilyn right after all? Is he innocent and simply despised by the Bensons?” I asked myself, “What if I'm wrong? What if the Bensons are wrong?” I well kne...
wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE; Part IV, Page 10
Page 10 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle – An Impoverished Family They pulled up in an older rust-eaten station wagon, pulling a cheap homemade trailer. Coming up the walk to the house, I saw a defeated, weary, sickly, impoverished family - Archie, Cathie, and their six children - Elizabeth, Christopher, Nathan, Erin, Benjamin, and in Cathie's arms, Daniel, about six months old. The children all had colds. What I beheld was spiritual, though, every bit as much as physical. Archie told me they had lived in a dump of a house in Toronto. They had been six or more months behind in their rent at times. Archie was working as a handyman for as little as seven dollars an hour and, even then, his clients weren't paying him. They had nothing to show for their nearly six years in Toronto, ever since they left Winnipeg, rejecting all the good the Lord was offering them, except three more children, which they had a difficult time supporting. Cathie, being pressured by hospital staff at Danny's birth, had her tubes tied against her desire, something she deeply regretted. Archie said he had been fasting and received that he needed to come to Lethbridge and submit to me as his spiritual elder. I warned him that we wouldn't tolerate the kinds of things we experienced with them in the past, and this time, they would pay their own way in everything. I told him it would be hard. I reiterated that point more than once. He accepted the conditions. We permitted them...
Page 10 PART FOUR– Bernalillo to Moon River (cont.) Particle – An Impoverished Family They pulled up in an older rust-eaten station wagon, pulling a cheap homemade trailer. Coming up the walk to the house, I saw a defeated, weary, sickly, impoverished family - Archie, Cathie, and their six children - Elizabeth, Christopher, Nathan, Erin, Benjamin, and in Cathie's arms, Daniel, about six months old. The children all had colds. What I beheld was spiritual, though, every bit as much as physical. Archie told me they had lived in a dump of a house in Toronto. They had been six or more months behind in their rent at times. Archie was working as a handyman for as little as seven dollars an hour and, even then, his clients weren't paying him. They had nothing to show for their nearly six years in Toronto, ever since they left Winnipeg, rejecting all the good the Lord was offering them, except three more children, which they had a difficult time supporting. Cathie, being pressured by hospital staff at Danny's birth, had her tubes tied against her desire, something she deeply regretted. Archie said he had been fasting and received that he needed to come to Lethbridge and submit to me as his spiritual elder. I warned him that we wouldn't tolerate the kinds of things we experienced with them in the past, and this time, they would pay their own way in everything. I told him it would be hard. I reiterated that point more than once. He accepted the conditions. We permitted them...