PART TEN – The Issues of Life (cont.)
Jonathan and I proceeded from there to Benny and Helen Winther’s Heaven’s Gate Lodge in the hills, where we stayed the night in a quaint cabin. We went on a 7-kilometer hike, and tried some fishing near Chinook Lake. I found the fishing more of a bother than a pleasure over all, what with weeds, lost hooks, licenses, quotas, laws, costs, difficulties, lack of knowledge, pollution and no cooperation or gratitude whatsoever from the fish after all the trouble we went to for them. As we were leaving the park, we passed by a man entering. He seemed to behave rather peculiarly, smiling as he went.
That evening, I did some demos for people to whom Benny was talking about the Chi machine and Hot House. The time would come when I would have many talks and much email correspondence with Benny and Helen about spiritual matters. However, they were quite closed to Scripture and the Christian faith and more into New Age and the power of the human mind and spirit – “the christ within,” as they would put it.
Still, Benny kept coming back to press his beliefs, though he didn’t want me doing the same with mine. How often have we found that people who most despised being spoken to about the Bible and Jesus Christ are persistent in their mission to correct and enlighten us!
While the fishing proved unfruitful, the event itself did not. As Jonathan and I walked along the shore looking for a good spot, we met none other than David Straat, who was camping nearby with his family. He and his nine-year-old son David were fishing too. Straat and I had never met and were both surprised at who each other was when we introduced ourselves.
After some preliminary small talk, I asked him about Ingrid’s van. I don’t recall exactly what he said, except that he justified himself, saying it really wasn’t worth much even to Ingrid because it would cost a fair amount to get it into running condition, though Ingrid said the van was certainly in running condition when she left it, Pascal having worked on it and it being their main vehicle. While I wondered about these things, I didn’t pursue them, suspecting I would get nowhere, and judging by appearances, perhaps they needed the van more than Ingrid did.
The conversation was brief; we returned to the Winthers for a barbecue supper, but I had the feeling there was unfinished business with the Straats. I didn’t know where they were staying to seek them out but Jonathan informed me he had struck up a slight friendship with Dave’s boy while Dave and I were talking, and even made an appointment to play with him. This was a curious thing, seeing we really didn’t know our schedule and he didn’t ask my permission. The boy gave him the camp address so we were able to find the Straats after all.
At their camp site, I met Veronique, David’s wife, who was quite a difficult person. Though she had obviously made up her mind that she knew enough about me and what we were all about at Harvest Haven, all of which she didn’t approve, we three visited for a while.
During this time, Veronique told me that she had chased Pascal out of her home and banned him from returning because Pascal was showing her husband porn sites. As Dave and a friend were looking on, Dave’s young son and perhaps daughter Mary were in the room and would have been exposed to it. This enraged her. Who could blame her?
I was able to share some things with them and also leave several writings I had brought along, which she promised to read, though I suspected that with the disposition displayed, she was confusing reading with burning. I decided, as usual, that what they did was their business and that they would be held accountable before God for what was made available to them for their good.
As we drove away, I was satisfied that business with them was now complete.
Who says there is no God?
I’ve so often found that chance and even our errors are God’s appointments and that I should welcome them by now, knowing they’re anything but simple chance or valueless. Benny and Helen told us of a Peter Buhler in Coleman, a former Mennonite minister who left his denomination and eventually began his own religion. Peter called his office, “The Podium House.” He was into Eastern thought and philosophy. Benny suggested I have a talk with him. He thought perhaps that Peter, who had supposedly seen the light, might be able to help me in my supposed conventional religious darkness.
As an added attraction, Benny told me Peter had created some stone artwork along a creek in a park, which the Winthers suggested we visit. The walk was about three miles or so on a woodsy path and interesting all the way, they said. So Jonathan and I went and we both enjoyed it.
After the walk, I decided to pay Peter Buhler a visit at his office, to which Helen gave us directions. However, Helen made a mistake, off by one street, which led me to seek guidance at a nearby “Christian” bookstore.
I asked the man I met there for directions to The Podium House, which he gave and curiously enough, he asked me my name, which I gave, though I wondered why he was asking. A look of recognition of sorts came on his face but he said nothing.
Jonathan and I left for Peter’s office but when we got there, it was closed. However, in the window there was a photograph of Peter. Jonathan immediately recognized it to be that of the man we passed at the entrance to the park.
Again, I was getting the feeling of unfinished business at the bookstore with the man we met, so we immediately returned there. He asked if he could help. I said I didn’t know. He then laughed and said he couldn’t help if I did not know.
I then asked him if I could help him. At that point, he admitted that he knew who I was, and that there was no further need of discussion. I was surprised at such an attitude from a stranger and perhaps annoyed at his apparent cat-and-mouse game. Pressing him, he told me he was a friend of and that what I had said to and done with her was evil.
I learned he was Joe Dreher, a Congregational minister. His wife’s name was Sharon; she was not present. “Joe and Sharon” I thought, “the on the phone when Jean called to serve me notice!” I asked him if he was who I thought he was and he admitted it was so.
I asked him if he had red the letters I sent Jean. He said he had not. “Would you like to hear the other side? Why not read the entire correspondence? I’ll send it to you.” He refused, saying, “I have all I need. I know Jean personally and I know she is a good Christian woman and would tell the truth.”
I replied that even a court of this world would hear both sides before convicting and condemning a man for alleged crimes. He would not relent. I said the Bible required two or three witnesses for a just and godly testimony against someone, while he was accepting only one – Jean’s. He refused to listen and had no answers. I confronted him on his ignorance, judgmentalism and bias as a so-called minister of God. I told him of Jean’s silly notions about anointed bikes and more.
He also knew Evan Yurkoski, and mentioned my affiliation with him, whom he called a “self-styled, self-appointed prophet.” I told him I wasn’t in agreement with either what Evan said or did.
At one point it came out that I knew the Lord. He replied that Satan knew the Lord as well. I got angry. “And whose side are you on, Satan?” I suddenly demanded. With that, he was flustered; he turned on his heel, waved his arms, and told me to go away and to never return. I told him very clearly that there was nothing romantic, sexual, or physically marital on my part toward Jean. I am quite certain he knew I spoke the truth but refused to believe it anyway. I addressed him as “Satan” more than once or twice, calling him a phony and a hypocrite. He hurried away and we left.
This time Jonathan was upset with the conflict, having witnessed most of it. I too wondered if I had not lost it, but I was angry (though not the least surprised) that this man had the gall to call himself a “reverend”, yet be so diabolical and perverse, condemning the innocent and justifying liars. I couldn’t help but speak.
As we headed back to our cabin, I marveled at these events that were part of what I had only purposed to be a casual outing for Jonathan’s sake.
Who says there is no God?
When we returned home, Marilyn tried talking to me about how she had shared at the farm and how nobody seems to be sharing as a group, that all we talk about is farm, food, and finances. I couldn’t grasp where she was coming from and got frustrated. We got into a bit of a fray, she cried and asked to pray, and I didn’t feel like praying but said she could or should if she wanted to do so, and she did.
I had words and thoughts come at that time (though I wasn’t sure if it was of God or of me) along the lines of “The Lord resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Take the lower seat, humble yourself, and accept your station. The last commandment is ‘Don’t covet your neighbor’s good’ and the first is ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart.’ Don’t envy your neighbor. The first shall be last and the last first.”
I went outdoors to do some weeding with Jonathan. Then he said, “Dad, I had a prophecy when we were inside.” He was reluctant to tell me for fear I might get angry, he said. “When have I ever gotten angry with you for any prophecy?” I asked. He said I hadn’t but that this one was different, one I would not like. “Speak it,” I said. He then spoke these words, “You are selfish, ignorant, arrogant and proud.”
I could readily see that. We later came into the house and told Marilyn. She readily agreed that these words were true. I told her I believed them and that I had been like that all along with everyone in many conversations. I told her I often could sense being that way.
I then called Lois and related the prophecy to her. She wanted to talk to the boys. They discussed it, she called back and said they didn’t know what to make of it. But I knew that I was all those things.
Lord God, that we be your holy people, uncompromised and uncompromising. Thank You, Lord.
About this time, I believe, I had a dream in which I was warning Kerri to not go in a certain direction at a campground in the woods. She was headed for outdoor toilets. It was dusk, and on the path to the facilities stood a wolf. I tried to warn her with whispers, lest the wolf should hear, then louder, because she wasn’t listening. She heard, but would not heed and kept going. I expected the wolf to injure her.
Paul received a verse to go with the vision:
“Therefore a lion out of the forest shall kill them, and a wolf of the deserts shall rob them; a leopard shall watch over their cities. Everyone who goes out from them shall be torn in pieces, because their sins are many and their backslidings are multiplied” (Jeremiah 5:6 MKJV).
All this time, there have been problems with Trevor. He has been careless, irresponsible, immature, lazy, unwilling to obey, fretting, preoccupied with getting a woman (at this time Michelle), and generally uncooperative with everyone. He has been trouble, no doubt about it. There have been so many times when I have felt like kicking his ass around the farm until there was nothing left.
Why we have not asked him to leave, I don’t know. Others have had to leave for far less. I cut into him heavily today, while Marilyn speaks of having love and mercy. She and Trevor have always gotten along and she has encouraged him in many ways and things disagreeable to me.
I perceive that there’s nothing that moves God more than a son willingly obeying Him though the son has great desire to do otherwise. Even as a young child, Jonathan at times obeyed me even when it was plain it was not his will or desire to do so, neither was he obeying because of fear of punishment. When he acted or reacted this way, my heart went out to him in brokenness and tears.
Truly, with such an attitude, I would withhold nothing from him – nothing good at all. Then I think of Jesus on the cross, saying, “Not My will, but Yours, Father.” No greater love can a son have. No greater love can a father have than to give, in sacrifice, his only, beloved, obedient son to his enemies for their sakes.
On September 6th, 2002, I was feeling like we were sinking down into mundane matters but Paul reminded me of a letter I had sent to everyone about a month ago:
To All, and for all to read:
As I was on the Chi last night, this came to me, then I forgot it, then Ingrid called, relating Joel 1 and 2, wherein I was thankfully reminded.
There has often, and in the main, throughout all of history, existed the fact that believers would have to be silent, to flee, to feel ashamed, to be persecuted by the wicked, by unbelievers, by the religious, to suffer unspeakable horrors at their hands and mouths. The religious particularly put on a show of worship of God, and vehemently accuse those of true faith, persecuting, condemning, and killing them.
What came to me was that now is the turn around. Now is the day of the saints and prophets and of the righteous; now is the Day of the Lord. No longer do we speak quietly, lest someone should hear us and accuse or mock us. No longer are we apologetic and fearful, or “discreet.” No longer should we expect that we will be at the losing end of the battle, even in the physical, because now is the Lord’s turn to speak. Men have had their say, their hour, their time of blasphemy. Now it is our turn. Now may we speak as did David to Goliath, with the confidence of victory in this life as well as the next.
Now we can speak as did Stephen to the Sanhedrin, particularly at the end of his speech. Only this time, God will not be calling on us to suffer the fate Stephen suffered. The tables are turned, so that the “sanhedrins” of the world will suffer Stephen’s fate and Stephen today will walk away, ready to speak again to another “sanhedrin,” until he is taken, if taken, by the Lord, because his purpose is completed.
The religious have been bold, yes, brazen, indignant, proud, aggressive, unapologetic, unashamed, cruel, contradictory; and the societies and ruling bodies and judges of this world have supported them and their evil ways. They have been this way publicly, ever so confident that they’re right, even as Saul persecuted the Church of God, even as the Roman Catholic Church and other religious bodies and persons persecuted to the death those with whom it did not agree. All this, however, has been according to the will of God for the time.
No more. Now it’s time for us to speak boldly and publicly. Now it’s time for us to refrain from the notion of being gentle, meek, and quiet concerning the truth which God has given us. Now it’s time to shout from the rooftops, to declare boldly, and not only that, but to fulfill the words of Enoch as recorded in Jude. We are here now “to execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have ungodly committed, and of all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him” (Jude 14, 15).
As the heathen have been bold to condemn the Lord and His saints, now we speak in that same boldness, with indignation, so that they, not we, are ashamed and that they are the apologetic ones; so that we, and not they, are angry, because they are the guilty ones. Now they are the judged, and not we. The Lord has judged us at their hands; having accomplished His work in us, now He uses us to judge them, and to glorify Himself. Now the victory is no longer on their side but ours.
We have been made to feel that we are the wrongdoers, but they are the wrongdoers, in truth and reality. Now we stand; now we speak, and now we judge, because judgment has been delivered into our hands, and the powers of Heaven are with us to execute that judgment for all to see and fear. This is that long awaited Day of the Lord.
Will we make enemies? Most assuredly. Will it matter? Not a whit. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” And who can resist His will? His will is that we now boldly declare the truth before all. There’s no more waiting, remaining silent, or debating. We speak; we speak with indignation, boldness, thankfulness, conviction, power, with alacrity.
This is the hour of His power. God is finished winking. We are finished running and hiding. “Now we turn; now we fight; now we speak. Now the heathen run and cringe in fear.
And if it should be that I’m wrong, that we, in our boldness and faith should suffer wrong and loss while speaking out, so be it. What are our lives worth to us here in this world, if we can’t speak boldly, plainly, and unashamedly of the glory and will of God for all mankind, which He has so graciously revealed to us?
They, the unbelievers, and not we, should be watching what is said. They should be ashamed and hesitant and fearful for what comes out of their mouths. They and not we are the evildoers, idolaters, and blasphemers.
THEY are the “cult,” and not we. Let us now adorn their boldness and conviction by doing right, even as they have been so bold as to do evil, and that, in the Name of God. And God grant us to succeed, in the outward as well as the inward, even as they have succeeded in the outward.
Rev 18:6 Reward her even as she rewarded you, and double unto her double according to her works: in the cup which she has filled fill to her double.
Rev 18:7 How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she says in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow.
Rev 18:8 Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judges her.
Are we that army of Joel, as Ingrid found? Are Lois’ words of the Lord the other day, that we are that army of God? Certainly, those words pertain to the conquerors over Israel, be they Babylonians or Romans; however, the nature and principles of armies and warfare are the same and God’s army against evil and evildoers can be described in similar terms. Indeed, did not God send Babylon and Rome to judge Israel for its sins?
With that in mind, let us not continue “beating around the bush.” It is in that spirit that I write to Miyuki now. She doesn’t need pity but rebuke; she doesn’t need understanding, but a harsh call to repentance from her hypocrisies and evil deeds. She isn’t innocent; no person is. Let’s “call a spade a spade.”
Do you hear me? Let me hear from each and every one of you.
On September 18, I record that Paul and I are coming to a greater realization that the world absolutely hates the truth that Jesus Christ is Almighty God, that by Him alone, God came in the flesh in all His fulness, not as “God the Son,” but as the Son of God – His Fullness and Essence.
As we visited the Kleins in Calgary, we saw Tibby, Marilyn’s half brother, who was unmarried, working, and living with his parents. I often wished I could reach him somehow. He was a lost soul. Yes, he seemed to have a decent job, friends and a leisure life of golf off hours, but I saw him as unfulfilled. I suppose I blamed Laura for standing against us all those years and not standing for truth and right, which affected them all – Tibby, Lazlo, Sheila, Les and Noreen, all of them. In her selfishness and fear, she had done her work and left her legacy of darkness, superstition, falsehood, and fear. There would come a day when I would opt to talk to Tibby in their home.
In tandem with the thoughts on our calling and mission, it came to me to write a paper examining why people saw us as a cult. It turned out to be an eye opener. I cited several reasons, none of which were major, coming to the conclusion that the main reason was that we were personally hearing God speak to us and were obeying Him at all costs. This set us apart from all others, most of whom do not believe He speaks to men today as He did in the Scriptures. The link:
Today, October 1, marks seven years of Harvest Haven, and what a seven years it has been! Who knew!
On this day, I met with Nes Kotyk. Every time I meet with him, Nes can talk of nothing nearly as passionately as he does about money, making money, and how much others make. His focus is on profiteering. This would not be quite so bad if he didn’t profess faith in Christ. He has the notion that one can simply call himself a Christian and yet go on living pretty much as one pleases, as the world lives, simply because Christ paid for his sins. There seems to be no awareness of the need for obedience and holiness, no consciousness of going deeper and farther.
Nes, humble yourself; forsake the riches of this world. Life’s much better and easier in the fertile valleys of peace than in the rocky summits of thin air and aloneness.
In Jonathan’s early years, we heard from many directions of the dangers and injuries with trampolines. Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s Marketplace also did a TV documentary discouraging their use. Marilyn, Mark, Lois, Paul and I all agreed that Jonathan should not be allowed to play on them.
Our neighbors, the Harrises and the Overbeeks, must not have heard, and certainly didn’t seem to care. For years, Jonathan would faithfully, obediently stand by their trampolines while the children enjoyed them immensely. I once observed him from my window as he stood watching longingly. Vicky Overbeek marveled and commented on how obedient he was. I also marveled and my heart was at times overwhelmed with Jonathan’s faithfulness to resist in the face of what surely was great temptation.
In October of 2002, just after he turned 11, Jonathan cried, begging and protesting to be allowed on a trampoline. We all tried reasoning with him, warning him of the dangers. He would not relent. Finally, I prayed, asking for wisdom, and received that it would be OK to let Jonathan do it. However, I asked him not to do flips. Later, he told me he encouraged Thomas, who was about his age, to do flips. I said, “If they aren’t good for you, why would they be acceptable for him?”
I would learn that it was in Jonathan to pursue these kinds of activities, whether personally or by proxy. There was an evident calling on his life, an unusual one to me, considering my convictions and aspirations, but the signs had already been there for years. I had only to recognize and accept it as of God, though I didn’t understand.
I could begin to relate somewhat with Samson’s parents, whose son made unconventional, even apparently ungodly choices, yet was moved of God for good (Judges 14:1-4). There is even the similarity of the element of physicality here as well as spirituality.
Our Harvest Haven neighbors, the Watmoughs, were running up a bill for groceries at our store but continuing a long-standing account with us that was only growing over years. Inez kept promising the girls in the store she would pay but it wasn’t happening. I finally called her, intending to be friendly and understanding. She was immediately on the defensive and got right down to verbally abusing me. I said, “Inez, pay your bill.”
“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me?” she shouted. I said, “Just pay your bill, Inez.” She called me a jackass and hung up. I was surprised at her reaction, her perspective on what I was trying to do, her language, her temper and her contradiction. I had intended to discuss the matter and make suitable arrangements.
She sent her daughter Cindy over to square up. “It was my bill, not my mother’s. Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” she protested. However, the account was in Inez’s name and not Cindy’s, it was Inez who did most if not all of the shopping, and finally, she was the one continuously asked to pay and continuously promising to pay, saying not a word about Cindy.
They came and paid but swore they would have nothing more to do with us, and didn’t – until circumstances arose that they were in need or trouble, like when they had a snow-blocked driveway and couldn’t leave their yard. Still, they accused us of many things and would have nothing to do with “the jackass,” not knowing that I was the one authorizing those at the farm to provide them with the help they needed in spite of their attitudes.
Remarkably, those attitudes never changed. How strange people can be! How selfish and self-destructive!
It came to my ears that Lois, Trevor and Mark were watching garbage humor movies, thinking they were funny. I talked to Mark, who was evasive and defensive. “What are you doing? What is your spiritual state that you don’t see the folly of these things?” I asked them. “As the Lord’s people, shouldn’t you be ashamed of yourselves?” Their customs and habits would of course be witnessed by and passed on to the others at the farm. I rebuked them sharply for their conduct, Mark and Lois confessed and repented, Trevor said nothing, and Ingrid thanked me.
It’s not that we don’t or shouldn’t watch movies, but why, what kind and when? Are there other things we need to be doing at the time? I’ve watched many movies, and I marvel at occasions when things we saw directly related to things we were experiencing elsewhere and it was evident there was no designed coordination by men.
On October 15, 2002, I asked Jonathan, “What would you like in life, Jonathan? We have only one life to live on this earth.”
“Two things,” he replied, without hesitation, “one spiritual and one physical; the spiritual, that God would always be with me; the physical, that I would always have enough money for food and necessities, and a little extra.”
I was thankful to hear such wisdom from him. I recalled the proverb:
“Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with mine allotted bread; Lest I be full, and deny, and say: ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or lest I be poor, and steal, and profane the Name of my God”
(Proverbs 30:8-9 JPS).
I replied, “God grant you your desires, son.” Who can ask for anything more or better?
Editor’s Note, 2016: Jonathan’s prayers have been answered all these years.
There has been a pattern in our lives repeated many times. When our savings grew, we began to realize there was a specific purpose coming for them, usually a mission, as was the case in going to Israel and speaking the Word of the Lord to Paul. When that purpose was fulfilled and the money spent, we would start the process again. This time, money came in from the Benson estate, more than we seemed to need, and it was not going anywhere.
On October 15th, I asked the Lord what we should do with it but no answer came. Or did it? On the evening of the 26th, I heard these words: “Is a fat wallet wise?” I’m constantly, unrepentantly doing things to maximize my profits – in nickels and dimes, yet letting the dollars slip away.
God, help me!! Do Your will upon me!
I judged the question to be rhetorical, the answer being “no,” but I still didn’t know what to do with the money. I didn’t know that I should give it anywhere and I wasn’t about to invest in any kind of stocks again.
Editor’s Note: As I was editing this document on November 17, 2015, I suddenly realized why the Lord had provided that money from the Benson estate. Most of those associated with us at this time will know why and the rest may find out soon enough, should I continue the Theo-autobiography to the date of this edit.
The Lord has been informing me that great trouble approaches, and this time North America will not be exempt as a territory for war, as has often been the case – World Wars 1 and 2, Korea, Viet Nam and others.
A terrible economic time approaches. It is the downfall of the US, which arrogantly presupposes to make war and to conquer. Do Americans not know? If they knew, they would not aggressively cry for war in self-righteousness. They should be crying for repentance. Instead, they flaunt before the whole world their sins, debauchery, decadence, pride, power, affluence and extravagance. It is all coming down.
After so many decades of having heard of Grizzly Adams, I decided to read his life story; it is a fascinating one. Besides wild encounters with bears, two other things stuck with me concerning this man who did not profess faith in Jesus Christ. One, he once attended a meeting where Brigham Young was preaching. He saw right through the man, his conclusion being Young was an arrogant and pompous blowhard. Two, he came to a conclusion about life, that we needed both good and evil and that the lesson of life for each man was to come to the place of embracing both.
Embracing both good and evil – what a wonderful revelation! And I thought that only seasoned people in Christ would come to that conclusion, for I had never heard it from another in my nearly three decades as a believer. To me, this is just another of many evidences that God has His people on many levels, in many worlds and capacities, whether in faith or unfaith. All men and worlds are His and He reigns supreme.
Many people pay lip service to the practice and efficacy of prayer but few believe. Melba Berg made known to Paul that her daughter Kima was having certain health problems. Paul offered that we pray for her. We believed that God would do something. Melba, being apprehensive, was willing to receive the prayer from afar, but not in person, and declined the offer.
Angela met Jim Barngrover online (she was from Jamaica) and moved in with him. Paul, Sara and I went to visit them one day but Jim wasn’t home. Still, she invited us in and we learned she professed faith. I thought, “Don’t believers realize that they don’t just shack up? Ought they not make a public commitment to one another?” Furthermore, Jim was not a believer, so if she was, why would she marry him anyway, seeing it is against God’s will and His Law that believers yoke themselves with unbelievers?
I soon sent Angela a letter to confront her on these things. She adamantly refused to consider what we had to say, finding excuses and rationalizations to justify her actions. She was hoping to convert Jim, for example. I told her believers marry believers only; they do not marry unbelievers with hopes of their becoming believers – there are no guarantees they will believe.
The thing was, she didn’t believe. She and Jim came to be quite upset with the letter. Whether because of our letter or otherwise, eventually they officially married. If both are unbelievers, which they are, their marrying may not be a problem, though unbelief while professing faith is.
On October 29, I rebuked Sara for her negligence, ignorance, and irresponsibility in everyday matters. She was utterly unaware of a whole world outside her. It appeared that her parents fell down on their parenting, teaching her very little.
Paul and I visited with Kerri. She angrily expressed herself against me and God. I related the dream I had of her and the wolf. She agreed that she was as I saw her in the dream – set to do her own will and not believing my warning. There is such great contradiction and foolishness with her, and she is adamantly opposed to true knowledge. We confronted her on my relationship with God and what He has done for and with me that nobody in right mind could question, but she refuses to believe.
Paul records: “In the fall of 2002, during the time that Ingrid was going back and forth on whether she wanted to be married to me, I saw a large snake coming between us as we stood side by side.
I realized later that I was the cause of this division, because I had been frustrated with Ingrid’s going back and forth. I had no business expecting anything of her and was wrong in my pursuit of her affection.” END
On October 31, 2002, Jonathan called me in Helena from the farm, saying he would like to erase his reputation (as someone who was not a responsible and willing worker, I believe). I told him that repentance and putting his faith in the Lord, Who died for him for that very purpose, was the answer.
Page 22 PART TWO – Pentecost to Israel (cont.) Particle - Our Lives Never Our Own The BC trip wasn't fulfilling. My neck bothered me so much sleeping on the hard ground that I was brought to tears. There's no rest in traveling thousands of miles in two weeks. Stay home and rest! There's no rest in tenting, having to deal with occasional inclement weather and noise. Most of all, as a believer, there's no rest in seeking recreation or going sightseeing or doing anything as the world does and not as the Spirit of God leads. We never did it again. Particle - Fear of Man What torment we put ourselves through because of the value we place on the attitudes and opinions of others toward us. Realizing the effect of that grievous burden, we throw it off and are greatly relieved, until a day comes when we find it has somehow grown on our backs once more. We must make a choice between praise of man and praise of God. How sweet the deliverance from a chain that binds A man to many lords. Peace and rest come to his soul, Which he hasn't known before! The disquieted mind beleaguered with questions, Bedraggled with doubt and confusion, Struggles to know the answer at hand, Which seems to be an illusion. How fruitless the concentration On opinions of other people! How taxing the consternation About all their thoughts and actions! To the extent one values their words And seeks to be praised of men, To this extent are they his lords And idols are they within. Se...
Page 7 PART NINE - Signs of New Times (cont.) Particle - Lingering Pains and Troubles I awoke on January 27, 2001, troubled. I was still hurting from the two or three times Marilyn publicly stood with Sean against me. "You have all the Scriptures; we have nothing we can say in our defense, isn't that right, Sean?" she would say, standing by his side, interrupting me several times, venomously retorting. It was horrible. And I had never heard a word of true repentance. Lord, I had words come forth in the night, and this morning; it's like it's just not worth living. I've lived in torment for 55 years, ruled by greed, self-concern, pride, emotion, regret, and confusion. Oh, that I could have that new life, that we all could be in a constant peace, enjoying Your Presence, knowing absolutely that all is very good, experiencing it in every way. But we obey where we can, give thanks, and go by faith. It is ever a battle of faith. Battle? Has not the battle passed? Or was there a storm passed? Is there a difference? Are there two battles? Lord, You know all things. Particle - The Difference between Doubts and Things of Doubt I think that if I have any doubts, I must discern the difference between the necessity of putting away those doubts and putting away those things of which I have doubt. If I can discern between these two and obey, I'll have peace in the matter. "Lord, grant me to believe Your Word, which is Lig...
Page 4 PART ONE – Darkness to Light (cont.) Particle – What Kind of Ukrainians? The Corneliuks seemed to have confidence in spite of the fact that they were common farmers and Ukrainians; they had Ukrainian accents and didn't seem to have a lot of anything special going for them. How could they feel so self-assured and comfortable in their social relationships with Anglo-Saxons, business people, politicians, and others? Other Ukrainians seemed to have this self-confidence as well: Dr. Potoski was a medical doctor. John Lysak was the Dauphin General Hospital administrator. Fred Zaplitny was an apparently successful politician, representing Dauphin for years. I sat in class with his son, Rick, who became a chartered accountant, someone who seemed quite adjusted socially, with the in-crowd, in spite of the fact that he lost his father early in his life to heart disease. Rick's pal, Mike Ohryn, also seemed to get along. There were the Wojtyshen twins, Steve and Sid, who were quite extroverted, even brazen in their ways, and popular. Ed Toporowski, our farm neighbor, who lost his father early in life, became a country and western DJ at CKDM, the local radio station. Years later, Laverne Lewycky was elected as Dauphin district's representative to Ottawa as a Member of Parliament. The local dentists were Ukrainian – Steve and Orville Heschuk. Citing someone out of the province for a greater example, Saskatchewanite Ukrainian, Ray Hnatyshyn, served as Governor General of Can...