PART TEN – The Issues of Life (cont.)
Our public internet correspondences were kindling indignation and opposition from several people who were accusing us of being hateful and arrogant. They couldn’t point to any of our words in particular when we asked them to back up their accusations. Still, I don’t take these things lightly and have sought the Lord many times for His judgment.
Am I arrogant, as some declare? As I was seeking the Lord about this, on January 5, 2004, I saw a two-story, rectangular house with a 4/12 pitch roof. Suddenly two, two-foot square windows appeared on each side of the second story. Light then entered and the once dark second story was illumined. I could see the floor through the windows on the second story. Then I heard the question: “Is the light arrogant? Is light arrogant when dispelling darkness?”
On the first anniversary of this vision, 2004, I was writing to an Al Thomas, self-proclaimed prophet and teacher. He was rejecting our right to offer The Public Forum Correspondence by email without his permission. I knew this vision was meant specifically for him, though it is universal truth. I asked Thomas, “Does God need an invitation from sinners before sending His prophets to speak to them?”
In a visit to Dr. Rice, our dentist, I was informed that I was a classic example of one grinding his teeth. I wondered, “Why, Lord?” Yes, it has been hard all our lives, as it was for other saints (believers), like Jacob, who confessed before the Pharaoh, “Few and evil have been my years.” Isaac was blind for many of his latter years; David was cold in his body in his last years; Elisha, who had a double anointing of Elijah, no less, was ill at his death, and yet when he died and was buried, his body revived another corpse that came into contact with his (2 Kings 13:20-21).
Yes, I have been grinding my teeth, and that with over a dozen mercury fillings I’ve had in my mouth for three decades since Dr. Grenkow installed them in Winnipeg. So what happened to all the toxic mercury? Where is it and what is it doing?
There are many who have the erroneous notion that all are children of God. To counter this error, I completed a paper on January 7, 2004, Are All Persons Children of God? The Bible is very clear on this matter, as for example:
“But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His Name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” (John 1:12-13).
About January 8, 2004, Marilyn apologized for having hurt me with Sean. I had confronted her on the fact that while she publicly chose Sean as her husband, she has never renounced him, not even privately. She admitted this was so, and that she could do no other. She said she was waiting for God to give her repentance. I said, God calls on you to repent and you say, “God, You repent me”?
When Paul, Marcia, Sara and a hitchhiker they knew from Helena, Brian Wirak, arrived at the farm, Sara was manifestly a new person, receiving from us and rejoicing in the Lord. She had the fruit of the Spirit, Whom she received on December 20, about three weeks before.
Cody and Dena also came up for another weekend while Paul and Sara were here. Now he criticized me for pressuring him for payment of his debts. Yes, I was making it known that if he could afford to continue buying other products and pay other people what he owed, he had no right to borrow from me or hold back my money, saying he was borrowing it because he didn’t have money – clearly a lie.
There were many things we discussed, and while Cody resisted them all, Dena seemed to understand and receive what we were saying. Lois was moved to tell Cody he had to obey. He confessed disobedience but was unrepentant. We concluded business matters with Cody and he paid what he owed us for machines. The future did not look healthy for him.
On the 10th of January, we all played Monopoly, a game Jonathan had purchased. Should we be playing such a game, if any game, on the Sabbath? I wondered but was not constrained in spirit to prevent it. As it turned out, natures were displayed, Jonathan was dealt with in his attitude, and lessons were learned. It was revealing, correcting, and good for all.
I wrote a letter to Randy and Debbie Olafson concerning the feedlot battle, his ailment, and the Lord.
Hi, Randy and Debbie,
Victor here. You will recall, Randy, that I have wanted to meet with you, and it has not come together. While we have Grander, and we believe it is the very best thing we know of (and I would say, vitally necessary) that one can do with water, I did not have Grander alone in mind.
I hope you’ll believe and understand that I write to help you, not to sell you. Please hear me out.
Do you remember your father trying to establish a feedlot beside Moon River Estates, and how some people in the community opposed it? Do you remember the man who stood up, weeping, and speaking in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, standing against the feedlot? That was after it had passed first reading by the MD. Are you aware that I was that man?
I remember you sitting at the back when I spoke. Somehow I knew who you were but I don’t remember how. We had never met. When I spoke in the Name of the Lord, I recall that you looked over to your father, and had a peculiar look on your face. Often, when people hear the kind of thing I was speaking, they might get uncomfortable, embarrassed, or even scornful. It isn’t for me to judge where you were at. I only recall that you had a reaction that didn’t seem a positive one.
I don’t know exactly what happened, but I heard that the application for the feedlot in that location was withdrawn shortly after the hearing. You would know. Believe it or not, while the feedlot appeared that it was going through, the Lord spoke to my wife, saying, “Fight the feedlot, and you will win”. I think everyone, from both sides, was sure the feedlot was a “shoo-in.” Late in the game, I entered the fray, obedient to the Lord, and the outcome was as He promised.
There were a few people rather upset with me. Your father certainly was. I heard later that his son had a serious problem, as you do.
Randy, the Lord appeared to me in 1972, took over my life in 1973, gave me His Spirit in 1975, and I have walked with Him since then. I have learned many things of and from Him in the past 30 years. One of those is that if we humble ourselves, and repent of our pride and independence of Him, and of our sins, and seek to do His will, He makes Himself known, answers prayer, and heals. We have seen miracles. He has performed them through us, for us, and for others. If we don’t repent, we destroy ourselves, sooner or later.
He’s what life is all about. He’s what all the issues of life are all about. Be ashamed of Him, and you are ashamed of life itself. Be ashamed of life, and life will be ashamed of you. It is really quite simple and straightforward, clearly recorded in Scripture, which is the Word of God. I am communicating to you life-giving, life-saving truth. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.
Why do I talk about the feedlot episode in 1993, and of your reaction? I do so because I believe that your illness could be related to that day, depending on your attitude and what you were thinking, believing, feeling and saying relative to the testimony of the Lord that day. When people despise the Lord and those He sends, and His Word He gives them to speak, judgment comes on those people.
If you repent of that, and call on Him for repentance, faith, and forgiveness, He may well give those to you, and restore you to life. You would then know life as you have never known it, in joy, fulfilment, purpose, and power. I’m not talking about church or religion now; make no misjudgment here. I’m talking reality.
There was no reply.
Gayla Erickson, a Hsin Ten and Grander distributor was the one who asked us to help her at the QXCI conference last year in the Bahamas and it was primarily because of her request that we went. Originally, she agreed with Paul to pay his expenses. After all, we were not under any obligation to pay for them. She knew she would be away from her booth during the days at classes of instruction in a product with which we had nothing to do, that being Bill Nelson’s QXCI, and she wanted someone to take care of it.
Something happened though and after we had made flight and schedule arrangements, she changed her mind but didn’t tell us. When we arrived in the Bahamas, she and Sharon Castro from Florida, another Jehovah’s Witness member (Gayla is JW) were set to take care of things themselves, but she still didn’t tell us what she was thinking. While things seemed rather askew to me, I said nothing, thinking an understanding had been arrived at between Paul and Gayla. As it turned out, she chafed at our presence, but still said nothing, and we were left wondering what was going on.
I signed up France Veer under Gayla but decided to take the initial sale to pay a portion of our expense, an arrangement Hsin Ten had on their sales contract to reward all parties participating in a sale. Gayla would receive all future business from France, should France pursue building an organization.
Gayla later objected and there ensued a great controversy between us. She was “out for bear,” threatening lawsuit, full of anger and hate. While I felt guilty and condemned, though ignorant of what had occurred between Paul and her, we all agreed in prayer that we needed to stand our ground. I was willing to give her what she asked, though not fair. Paul insisted, with facts, that he was clear of any guilt of misunderstanding with her.
She also complained to Kenny Lai and wrote us letters, to which we replied with substance (all on file for all to read), but she would hear none of it. As far as she was concerned, we were at fault and cheating her.
Now, we could have easily allowed her to have the sale and suffered the wrong, as Christians often ought to do, but for some reason, we couldn’t let her have her way. Kenny Lai of the New York head office also understood the situation and agreed with us. While the mention and memory of the event itself slowly evaporated into the atmosphere over time, the conflict was never resolved to Gayla’s satisfaction (or ours for that matter), and France Veer never did follow up with further activity, so nobody gained anything more.
Gayla later revealed to us that she had an inordinate fear of men, having been abused in her past, and we think she was paranoid of being cheated, particularly by men. We determined we would continue to help her in future business transactions as much as we could, beyond the call of duty if necessary.
Sara had a strange dream on January 14, 2004. Her record:
This dream took place during a time of peace between Marcia, Paul, and me. She had just passed a point of obedience.
The atmosphere was dark at the beginning. The sky was gray, and I knew that I was in a country at war. There was a feeling of fear or grimness in the air that does not exist at other times.
I was standing beside a road, and a gray armored vehicle came up the road. Through the window I saw the face of a woman that I did not know, and she seemed to be in pain, or in fear. I had the feeling that she was taken somewhere against her will.
In the next scene, I was beside the bedside of this woman, and was waiting for her to give birth. I knew that the baby would be ours to care for.
Next, Paul and Marcia and I were all in a room with this baby, and we were discussing what to name her. When we began to throw names back and forth, the baby said, “Biscuit!” We all knew that she was saying she wanted to be named “Biscuit.”
I said, “Look, guys, she wants to be named ‘Biscuit,’ so what’s wrong with that?” Let’s name her ‘Biscuit’.”
Paul said, “No way! No child of mine is going to be named ‘Biscuit’!”
Marcia didn’t say anything.
I decided to look up the name “Biscuit” in a book of the meanings of names that we had on hand to see if it was a legitimate name, or had a legitimate meaning.
It read, “Biscuit: War-like.”
I said, “See, Marcia, it means the same thing as your name, so it can’t be bad!”
After this dream, I was laughing about it with Marcia, and she said, “Sara, did you know that Chuggie used to call me ‘Biscuit’?”
I didn’t remember that, and was quite amazed.”
On January 19, 2004, Mark told me he had an unpleasant dream of Cody and Dena. He writes:
All of us (believers – I believe Paul & Sara were there too even if I did not see them) were gathered together. I was walking down a hallway and happened to look into a room (I believe through a door that was ajar) and saw Cody and Dena in the act of intercourse while everyone else was gathered in the living room (it was the living room of the old farmhouse at our grandparent’s farm though). They both saw me at the same time I saw them. I remember Dena looking ashamed but Cody did not but rather looked indifferent or even defiant. I remember feeling angry with them to be doing such a thing while all were gathered together in another room.” END OF MARK’S RECORD.
My interpretation of the dream was that Dena was sensitive to the call of God on her life, of goodness and holy appropriateness, while Cody was contemptuous of God and us, preferring the things of this world.
Sara records: The Lord gave me this vision on January 26, 2004, soon after I received the Spirit of God:
“My mom’s face was before me. Then it floated high above me, and her body came into view. It was the body of a very large snake. Then I saw the situation from afar. I saw myself at a distance, standing at the entrance to a large cave. The snake was coiled before me, and its large body in coils stood two or three times higher than my own. The body was also about three times thicker than mine as well. The snake had my mother’s face. I was speaking to her, confronting her wickedness. I was able to stand in what the Lord had given me without fear.”
Being farmers, we were somewhat aware of some agricultural matters going on in our province, country and the world. Cattle farmers were suffering horrendous losses over the BSE (Mad Cow Disease) brouhaha. A cow was purportedly found with the disease in Canada and consequently the US and other countries shut their borders to Canadian beef. This immediately and effectively subjected many Canadian farmers, ranchers and feedlot operators to serious financial circumstances because much of their product was for export.
There were reports of death, bankruptcy and suicides among farmers. We knew that if that disease were anywhere near us, we too could lose our herd, but the Lord assured us we were safe.
As well, the Avian bird flu crisis was happening in Asia, where they were slaughtering millions of birds. It also happened in British Columbia, the province next to ours. With reports that the disease could spread by wild birds, we wondered how long it would take before foolish government bureaucratic policies would be put in place that would either eliminate organic chicken production or at least make it much more difficult. Already, we had been facing many foolish and hurtful policies and regulations by the government that served only to make matters worse for all.
On January 28, I record that Cody is stubborn, obstinate, stupid, arrogant, opportunistic and demon-possessed. I told him he followed his father, who, he had told me, was not the most moral man in town or country, but was a thief and a liar. He told me that when he was a young teen, he had approached his father with a proposition to team up together to steal and take advantage of people. With or without his father’s participation (he died in a vehicle accident), Cody was apparently following through on his evil desires and dreams.
Dena was agreeing with us. I addressed the devils in Cody, knowing they were there, but felt that unless he was repentant, there was nothing to be done; they had license to remain with an unrepentant soul. As Cody grew more stubborn and implacable, Dena began to be lifted in spirit, rejoicing more and more. She was being set free from things of which we weren’t aware. She was hearing things she had already been feeling and receiving to be true. God had been at work with her and confirming truth to her by us. We would see much more.
Jonathan had difficulty believing that Marilyn was practising deceit and disloyalty with me in the matter with Sean. She was conditioning him to believe it was my fault, not by her words so much as by a deportment of innocence, as though she has been misunderstood and victimized. So I advised Jonathan to question her for himself, directly and specifically.
He was very good at it. He asked and she evaded, and he knew she was evasive. How contradictory and slippery must the ways and subjects of darkness be!
“Just what is your relationship with Sean?” Penny Mills once asked Marilyn point blank? “We are friends,” Marilyn replied in front of everyone (who knew better). She lied to me, hid things from me, and could not be honest. Liars are nevertheless exposed. Jonathan would not be deceived, not that he was satisfied with the truth. After all, who wants to know such things about his mother?
After meeting them in Hawaii, we had much correspondence with John Oldham and Martina Rodriguez, who are Catholic. We found that they had no good reason for believing the things they believed and were not prepared to listen to reason, which is the case with almost all people. The correspondence had been thick and heavy, but finally wound down to cease altogether, not by our choice but theirs.
Truly, people were thinking we were arrogant, unlearned in spiritual matters, hateful, deceptive, predatory, angry, insane, and heretical. Certainly, with their definitions and frames of reference, we were all those things and more. Darkness hates the light; to darkness, light is all those things. “Leave us alone,” the devils cry! “What have we to do with you? You’re not going to tell us what to do!”
Paul and I were slated for another complimentary cruise with Hsin Ten. This time, however, we would be meeting many people who had also won the cruise and with whom we had conflict in the spiritual correspondence of recent past. These were Conrad and Judy Ching, Bob and Karen Nelson, Deanna Sudweeks, John Oldham, Martina Rodriguez, Chandler Mitts, and others. As we contemplated the possible unpleasantries, I had words come to mind: “Better to be a true friend and hated, than to be false and loved” and “Better to be a friend of God at the expense of favor with men, than a friend of men at the expense of favor with God.”
On February 3, 2004, Lethbridge acquaintance Bonnie Nemeth gave me a book her 17-year old son Cody had just published, Destiny Will Call Back if You Leave a Message. I said I would read it and get back to her. Upon reading, it was clear the book was about positive thinking enabling us to master ourselves and have the universe at our beck and call if we just do things right. It is the age-old and popular, “I can lift myself up by my own bootstraps” kind of thinking that keeps on taking a slightly different form in every generation.
I decided I would respond to the philosophy of it in full and publish it. My intention was not to belittle Cody but to point out the fallacy for the good of all. I saw Cody as a young fellow misled by those one would think would know better but don’t. The link: .
On February 4, Lois had a vision of Cody and Dena. Cody was very angry and Dena was very afraid of him. We didn’t really know what was going on between them, only that it wasn’t good. We took this dream as a peek into the reality of their relationship. On the 7th, I apologized to them for having some erroneous conclusions. I was being reminded that I was to not speculate. Speculations will never do. No facts – no conclusions. We would learn that even many facts will not always tell the conclusive truth – one must have all the facts.
I saw that Cody was in idolatry of physical health. I received that he needed to sell Journey of Health or lose it. He wasn’t interested in selling but eventually he consented to do so and gave it a feeble effort.
During this time, I had a vision in which Cody was dressed in a shiny red gown reaching down to his feet. The cloth and patterns on it looked like the kind of garments astrologers, fortunetellers, or palm readers might wear. On his head he had a red peaked cap, something like a “dunce’s cap,” with a gold tassel dangling from the tip of it. He had a long, thin, red beard flowing from his chin, the kind one might imagine sorcerers wearing as depicted in fairy tales. He was on his knees, bowing to the ground, worshiping, with hands forward on the ground. Before him was an altar and statue of some kind, not tangible, but I identified it as an altar to himself and physical health.
I dreamed a dream in the night of February 10/11, 2004:
A man and I approached a deep cement pit or bunker that had parallel walls about ten feet apart. We approached on one side. The depth of that bunker or pit was about twenty-five feet. At the bottom were rocks, snow, ice and water. The pit had guardrails for safety. Yet I warned the man, who was to my left, to be careful and not slip. However, when the man with me heard my caution, he deliberately slipped under the guardrail and over the edge of the cement wall. He hung on to the edge with his hands for a while, as if deliberately taking chances.
I was surprised that he would do such a thing; a bit alarmed, I warned him to stop. I was hoping he would heed me, and I was heading over to grab his hand to haul him up, warning him not to move. Suddenly, he deliberately let go, as if having no fear of danger or death. He landed on the rocks below.
Shocked, I expected his body to be mangled and he to be certainly dead. I hollered down, “Are you alive?” To my surprise, he stirred somewhat, showing me he was still alive. I thought that perhaps there was a chance of somehow getting him out of there and treating him. However, I didn’t know how I would get him out, and it seemed that he was very stubborn, heedless, and incorrigible, and therefore whatever measures I took to save him would ultimately be in vain. He seemed determined to destroy himself.
I asked him not to move, so that I could have a chance to get help. He again deliberately defied me and moved, and thus slid into a dark hole of water and ice, disappearing out of sight. I was both angry and very disturbed that he should do such a thing. The dream ended there.
Note: The person, at every step, would deliberately do what I told him not to do because I told him not to do it.
I cannot help but believe that this man was Cody Dahl. Cody has been just that way in his actions and attitude. He also had a dream, which seemed somewhat similar to mine.
Ingrid confessed on February 21 that if she had known she was not going to get her children back, she would not have come to Canada. She also said she didn’t want more children, lest she should go through the same again. She was in great fear, doubt and depression about having left them behind.
On the morning of the 23rd, the Bensons and I sharply rebuked Ingrid. She has been pining for her gods long enough, casting in the Lord’s face His abundant mercies and great privilege bestowed on her. I told her she was eating her own shit, and expecting us to sit there watching her and having to smell it. I also told her that if she wished to continue in her idolatry, that I would pay her ticket back to Belgium if she had no money. “There is no point in remaining with us as you are; it has been two years,” I said, “Enough is enough.”
I have wrestled with an oppression of unidentified fear, but what is it I’m afraid of? I’d like to know and deal with it. Is it of losing the farm? A lawsuit? Is it a guilt of wronging others? Is it a fear of conspiracies? I really don’t know. It’s not a fear of death or of myself or of being alone. I came to terms with those. If not death, what can I be afraid of? Yet something is always there bothering me, on and off, day and night, although I get over it and can function without difficulty almost all the time.
I then recall the great release from anxiety and fear with chiropractic treatments, replaced with a sense of well-being. I know my neck has often bothered me without realizing it, especially at night, perhaps because of its position on the pillow somehow.
Harley Laporte of Coaldale, Alberta, a Catholic, came to the farm on February 24, 2004 and left me with a tape of Scott Hahn, a Protestant who had converted to Roman Catholicism. He was the RCC’s latest knight in shining armor and proof positive that the Catholic Church was indeed the true, original, “mother” church of God. We would soon address this unfortunate, wandering star in a public paper that would answer all the arguments he put forth for the Catholic Church, answering those questions he had pre-conversion that Protestants couldn’t answer satisfactorily, but which he came to believe the Catholic Church answered irrefutably.
On February 27, 2004, Jonathan and I drove to Calgary to catch a NWA flight to Florida. We were on our way to another Hsin Ten cruise, Jonathan’s first airliner experience and first cruise. The airline gave him a certificate, wings, a piece of cake, $30 worth of food coupons, and he got to sit in the cockpit with the pilot. These treats added to the general novelty and excitement.
I was surprised when the pilot asked Jonathan if he would like a picture with his father in the co-pilot’s seat as he sat in the pilot’s, and Jonathan decisively refused. My facial expression was obvious; the pilot chuckled, saying, “Ah, look at that – your father’s crushed!” This wouldn’t be the last time Jonathan chose to not take pictures with me, though he would with Marilyn, instructors, club associates, friends and strangers.
Arriving at Orlando, we took a shuttle to the Courtyard Marriott where we met with Kenny Lai, Conrad and Judy Ching (Conrad avoided us like a plague), John and Deanna Sudweeks, Bob and Karen Nelson, and Joe Hong. Paul and his brother Seth met us there. Seth left us and we took a bus to Cape Canaveral where we boarded the “Disney Wonder.”
On the ship we met up with Mitch and Michelle Fields, Mel Turner, Norman and Evelyn Gibson from Riverside, California, Ian Liu from Hsin Ten, New York office, Gordon Pan (CEO and owner of Hsin Ten) and his wife, Eric Pan (Gordon’s son) and his wife, Joe Hong, his wife, and Joe’s sons Victor and Vincent, Jerry Tsai and his wife, Julie, and several Mexican distributors, including Jesus (Spanish pronunciation, “Hay Zoos”) and his wife, Raphael Garcia and his wife, and Rosa, Raphael’s sister.
We had good spiritual talks with the Tsais, Turner, Gibsons, and Kenny. We missed supper the first night because of rough waters and Jonathan, along with several others, got seasick, but with a good night’s rest, he recovered for the rest of the cruise.
A note concerning the Tsais: At a dinner, I told them that one day we would stand side by side with each other and Siddhartha Gautama Buddha (the Tsais were of Buddhist background), with arms upraised, together worshipping the Lord Jesus Christ. I made it clear that we all, Buddha included, would confess Jesus Christ as Lord.
Landing at Nassau, Paul and I distributed many of our writings to the people at the Straw Market and on the streets. We also dropped off a hard copy of with a Tanya Hunt-Major, the administrator of the Episcopalian Church within blocks of the dock, and gave her our website.
A beggar in his fifties or sixties named Moses met us on the street, asking for a handout after giving us a brief history lesson of the city. Jonathan had never been confronted by a beggar before. As we were talking with him, Jonathan called me aside and asked if he could give him his last $20.
I’m the perpetual skeptic or cynic, especially given our lessons in Israel from the Lord concerning beggars. I taught Jonathan that though the man was likely lying to us, he still seemed poor, and that it would not hurt Jonathan to give to him, so he did.
The fellow either was, or pretended to be, surprised and thankful, giving Jonathan a big hug. No doubt he rarely received $20 from a young teen, and that with parental consent.