Your mother has briefly and generally explained your situation to us, having also told of the recent incident between you two, which, she tells me, shook her up significantly. You and your mother have had great conflict, much of which has grown out of her past sins and mistakes. I want you to know that you two are by no means alone in parental/child relationships with troubles and problems. I truly do not know of anyone who has been spared.
I dreaded each day, knowing it was inescapable.
For my part, as a kid, I was not wanted when born. I came early, the firstborn, and I seem to have spoiled my parent’s good times by saddling them with the responsibility of child rearing. My mother was only 19, and with her youth and ignorance, I was obviously a “proving ground,” which added to the undesirableness. Her mother was miles away and had her own problems with a large family, so my mother had to go it alone. We were living in the country, and when it came time to go to school, my parents farmed me out to my great aunt and uncle for a year and a half because school would be closer.
The experience was bittersweet. While they doted on me, not having children of their own, I was very homesick for my parents, lonely, with no toys and no children to play with. My aunt and uncle believed in eating, and fed me treats until by age seven, I was twice the weight I should have been. As a result, I was teased and shunned in school. I was also wetting and soiling my pants, which added to the disgust people had of me, teachers and students often together having me as the object of their entertainment at my cost.
Added to that, my way home was also that of an eighth grade bully, who never failed to torment me. I dreaded each day, knowing it was inescapable. Added to that, my cousin was on that road, and while in private he would be my friend, in public he stood with the bully and those who laughed and scorned me, so betrayal was always there. Parents of other kids also joined the fun against me. Why did not my parents or my aunt and uncle do anything about it? I do not know. I do remember that when I complained and they called the parents and teacher, it was explained away and I was not believed. It was hell, Mark; it was hell.
Finally, when I returned home to go to another school for third grade, accompanying my brother in first grade, I felt the sting of separation. It was more than a sting; it was heart breaking. My aunt and uncle had become my parents. I was separated from my real parents, who had not cared enough to keep me at home, and then from the aunt and uncle who wept when I left (though I did not know it at the time). I was torn. Added to that, my parents could see that I had grown attached to my aunt and uncle, and I think they were hurt or jealous, so I was always feeling guilty for not loving my parents above my aunt and uncle.
Disobeying God is where hell begins, and obeying Him is where it ends.
Furthermore, my parents constantly fought. For example, one day they were arguing as to whether one urinates or defecates first when going to the toilet! They got so angry, dad got physical with my mother. I cut in, at about age 8 or 9, and shouted, “How stupid can you two be?! Arguing and fighting over whether somebody pisses or shits first at the toilet!” Still angry, and dad almost turning on me with his wrath, they stopped fighting, told me to shut up, and went their way. They did not hurt me, not having the heart to do so, knowing they were so foolish. I relate this story to give you a sample of the kind of atmosphere in which I was raised. Do not get me wrong; there were some happy moments, and it was not all hell, but mostly, it was.
Yet have not all of us, at one time or another, been that way? Anger has no reason. Those apart from Christ are bound by their sins. My parents were no different from anybody else. Oh, they had religion (Catholic), but they too were a product of their parents, who were a product of theirs, all the way down to Adam, who sinned in the Garden of Eden, disobeying God. Disobeying God is where hell begins, and obeying Him is where it ends.
In later years when troubles would come, my mother blamed me. One day while I was living in Winnipeg, a city two hundred miles away from home, my brother went on a “fun spree” and, with a friend, shot up the town at night with a pellet gun…parking meters, car windows, the exhibition pavilion windows, that sort of thing. My mother was on the phone telling me I was responsible! I could not have been further removed from the incident, whether in word or deed. I was often blamed for, or suspected of, many things.
She had a nervous breakdown somewhere in those years, blamed it on me, and refused to see me at the hospital, giving the doctor instructions to keep me away. When my father told me of this, I was shocked, confused and very hurt. I knew that I was not a candidate for “The Best Behaved Kid” in the town or the block or even the house with four siblings, but I honestly did not know what I had done that would drive her or anyone to a breakdown. Nobody really could tell me. I was hurt not only because of something for which I was allegedly responsible, but I was hurting for my mother, who was hurting. When I tried to make amends, it was hopeless. There was no forgiveness, no give, no understanding, no love, nothing. Mark, life was shit. I need not put it any other way. “Call a spade a spade.”
All that had happened in my life, all the suffering, had been with purpose.
We were always poor, and when I headed off to college, I paid for it by playing guitar in bars (which cost me in school performance). Joining the Hudson’s Bay Company two years later, I began to earn money and bought my family expensive gifts, especially at Christmas. By this time they too had money, but I would receive something like a pair of socks from them. This would go on for years, with no points taken or lessons learned. I was always trying to be wanted or appreciated, but to no avail.
Then the Lord took a hold of my life (you can read about it in brief here: Our Testimonies). My life was miraculously turned around, but it took years, even decades after Jesus Christ first appeared to me, to realize the following:
All that had happened in my life until then (and since), all the suffering, shame, heartbreak, poverty, separation from parents, ostracism, loneliness, and all the negatives in all my years had been with purpose.
Going to the Bible, you will find that Joseph, Jacob’s youngest son, suffered at the hands of his older brothers. Envious, they had sought to kill him, but kidnapped him instead, and made some money by selling him as a slave. At age 17, he was suddenly, without warning or preparation, cut off from his father for over two decades, which father doted on him, and Joseph was made a slave and prisoner in Egypt.
But good came of it – because God was behind it all the time (Read about it all in Genesis 37 and following). So I realized that all the suffering I had gone through served a purpose. God was in it all the time. It was all meant to be, for good (God is over both good and evil). When Joseph was eventually ruler in Egypt, and his brothers came to him for food, did he take revenge? He was certainly in a position to do so. Was he bitter? No. He had understanding from God. This is what he said to them:
Genesis 45:4-11 MKJV
(4) And Joseph said to his brothers, Please come near me. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt.
(5) And now do not be grieved, nor angry with yourselves that you sold me here. For God sent me before you to preserve life.
(6) For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be no plowing nor harvest.
(7) And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
(8) And now you did not send me here, but God. And He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler over all the land of Egypt.
(9) Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, So says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me, do not wait.
(10) And you shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your sons and your sons’ sons, and your flocks, and your herds, and all that you have.
(11) And I will nourish you there, for there are still five years of famine, lest you and your household, and all that you have, come to poverty.
Joseph also said this:
“And Joseph said to them, Do not fear. For am I in the place of God? But as for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save a great many people alive” (Genesis 50:19-20).
God has been faithful and has given me peace and joy.
Mark, please read all that I have given you here. I must confess that during all those years, I was not gracious or forgiving to my parents. I was resentful to them for “all they had done to me,” for not loving me, for all the perceived wrongs they had committed. Now, understanding that all these things were purposed for good, I am so sorry that I treated my parents and others the way I did, justified or not (and I was not). I am in regret not for what they did to me, but for what I did to them. I had lived a life of seeing myself as a victim, but now I see that, like everybody else, like every human being that ever lived on the face of this earth, I had been a perpetrator. Please read Victims and Perpetrators.
Am I burdened with that regret? Though I have it, God has been faithful and has given me peace and joy. He has given me victory in this world. He has been good to me. Your mother would, I think, readily admit to her wrongs, and how they impacted you, and I doubt there is a day wherein she is not sorry for what she has done. You need to forgive, whether it is perfectly obvious that she was or is at fault or not.
Recognize that she was under the wrath of God all her life, brought on by her parents. She, as you, was a victim of her circumstances, but the only way out is to confess yourself not a victim, but a sinner, a perpetrator. Jesus said, “If you will not forgive those who have wronged you, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive you.” You will regret it if you do not forgive. I guarantee it. That goes not only for your unworthy mother, but your father, your stepfathers, your siblings, employers, friends, and everyone else. None of us is worthy, not I, not you, not anyone. God alone is worthy.
God wants us to steer clear of destroying ourselves – FORGIVE.
You want a new life? You want peace? You want victory? Forgive. It starts there. Genuinely, permanently, completely forgive everybody. If you can’t find it to forgive, then ask God to help you. If you mean it, for the right reasons (simply because it is the right thing to do), He will answer, and you will be on your way to Life. Right now, let’s face it, you are dead, and that will never change (except on the surface or in appearance), until you hear and believe what I am saying to you.
The other thing you must set yourself to do is make things right with all those who have not forgiven you, with those whom you have offended or abused in some way. Jesus Christ forgave us though we cost Him His life (we were taking it from Him while He was giving it to us… ironic, huh?). We must forgive and seek forgiveness.
Never mind your being a victim. Never mind that people did not treat you right. Never mind that your mother was not a model mother, or far from it. I no longer have ill will toward anyone. I only want their good. Those who do evil do not understand. They do not know what they are doing, and believe me, they will suffer the consequences.
You need not be concerned about that. You think your mother is not suffering the consequences of her past sins? Of course she is! All do. The Bible is very clear on that. That is why God disallows us revenge or retribution. He wants us to steer clear of destroying ourselves, and tells us how to do it – FORGIVE. Nothing else avails.
Father, I ask You to give Mark forgiveness for others. I ask that You will show him mercy as he shows mercy to others. Thank You. The Lord grant you both repentance and grace. Carol, could you please pass this letter on to Mark? Mark, your mother had nothing to do with this letter, except to pass it on to you, if she passes it on, which I hope and expect she will.
From: Dorothea To: The Path of Truth Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2016 8:06 PM Subject: clare-du-bois. listened to some of her videos although it prompts me to pray... and she is right that we are in last days no scripture is mentioned in videos I listened to ' I think she is a fraud ... or maybe just confused Sister in Christ http://pa-john.freehostia.com/ From: Victor Hafichuk To: Dorothea Sent: Monday, February 01, 2016 7:36 AM Subject: Re: clare-du-bois. Claire duBois is a fraud, Dorothea, and you can know this with all assurance, if you desire to do God’s will and follow through by His grace. “Therefore Jesus answered them and said, "My doctrine is not Mine, but His Who sent Me. If anyone desires to do His will, he will know about the doctrine, whether it is from God, or whether I am speaking on My own authority” (John 7:16-17). That looks like an interesting site you sent us. We’ll check it out, Lord willing. Is there any particular reason you sent it to us? Are you reading on our site and receiving the doctrine of Christ? Victor From: Dorothea To: Victor Hafichuk Sent: Monday, February 01, 2016 2:54 PM Subject: Re: clare-du-bois. I agree so I am ignoring Claire duBois Please pray for my husband who is under persecution - my husband managed site From: Victor Hafichuk To: Dorothea Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2016 2:43 PM Subject: Re: clare-du-bois. Can you elaborate on your husband’s situation? Who is perse...
English – Spanish – Chinese 我們收到了這封信： 維克多， 我的名字是丹尼爾，我也曾與菲利普會面並一起工作過。我正在閱讀你和保羅的電子郵件，我注意到您在哪裡說：「我知道，在『基督教』世界裡，有很多不好的文學作品，教導謊言，例如，那些沒有得救的人永受折磨教義。從未有過比這更醜陋的謊言。這是對上帝的本性和品格的誹謗。」您是在說您不相信地獄或永恆的詛咒嗎？我不明白您在說什麼。此外，在您給菲利普的電子郵件中，我注意到一種沮喪的語氣，幾乎到了責罵的程度。您認為這種語氣是一種愛和關懷，是對菲利普的造就和鼓勵嗎？ 丹尼爾 我們憑信心而活，而不是憑眼見。 維克多和保羅的回覆： 嗨丹尼爾， 你來信的結尾 (「我們憑信心而活，而不是憑眼見」) 本質上就是我們告訴菲利普的。你認不出來嗎？我認為你發送該聲明是我們給他的信的結果。我可能是錯的，但如果是對的，諷刺的是你會把它發給我們。 我認為你相信一個永恆的、折磨人的地獄。雖然聖經清楚地表明地獄的存在，但不是在大多數新教或天主教圈子中所宣揚的地獄。大多數人發現或將發現自己身處的地獄是一種黑暗和晦澀的狀態，是死者的地方，他們「一無所知」(儘管他們可能認為自己知道)。他們在屬靈上對上帝是無意識的。 當然，在黑暗中，與上帝的靈隔絕，那裡有無知、懼怕、缺乏理解、拜偶像和束縛，更不用說折磨。但是在來世是否有字面的、身體上的懲罰之火？沒有。地獄會永遠存在嗎？不 (啟示錄 20:14)。有沒有像詹姆士王欽定版翻譯的那樣「永遠的詛咒，」即與上帝「永永遠遠」的隔絕？沒有。閱讀“永遠”、“永久”、和“地獄”的真正聖經含義。 只有上帝是不朽的，以及那些祂授予的人。永恆的詛咒和折磨是邪惡、異教思想的編造，試圖向人們灌輸恐懼，以控制他們。天主教會，從君士坦丁開始，使用這種可怕的教義，而新教徒繼續利用使用它。上帝不會通過恐懼來獲勝。 如果你看一下希伯來語和希臘語翻譯成英語的「地獄」和「永遠」這兩個詞，它們沒有提到一個沒有盡頭的狀態。關於這些問題，我有很多文章可以發給你。目前，閱讀我們《萬物的復興》的部分，你還可以閱讀惡魔般的教義；你應該特別閱讀永無止境的折磨。 你可能想(或不想) 閱讀的另一篇文章是：邪教的真實標記，並考慮你的立場。 丹尼爾，我懷疑當你幾乎還沒有觸及我們的著作時，你不會同意它們，但它們是真實的、符合聖經的、由上帝教導的，那些不同意這些教義的人不是上帝派來傳教的。他們是出於自己的公義和假定而宣講的，對他們聲稱代表的唯一的那個是一無所知。 判斷了我對菲利普說話的語氣後，你問：「您認為這種語氣是一種愛和關懷，是對菲利普的造就和鼓勵嗎？」對於這個問題，我的回答：「是的，」我很清楚你不會那樣理解上帝的愛。就在今天，我 (部分)寫信給另一個人： 「事實上，人將他人吸引到上帝面前的行為恰好是敵基督靈的一個顯著特徵。人假設他們在基督裡的，認為他們可以通過『在他們裡面的光』來『愛』人歸神，因此，他們以『能力作見證。』事實是，他們以他們的愛作證歸給自己，同時在宣告祂的名。舊約或新約都沒有記載聖徒通過愛他們贏得任何人到上帝面前…無處，甚至是與耶穌。這就是敵基督的靈。」 你可以閱讀的有關該主題的文章有： 虛假宗教人士喜愛那憎恨(拒絕)上帝 上帝只說出柔和的話語嗎？ 竭力維護從前一次就全交給了聖徒的信仰， 維克多 丹尼爾，我是保羅。 我想補充一點。 有趣的是你在同一封信中詢問關於地獄和愛。我們經常發現那些指責我們沒有愛心的人，他們相信並宣揚全能和愛的化身的上帝，祂創造了...
From: Aston To: The Path of Truth Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2016 2:06 AM Subject: Hell testimonies Victor, from what I see in your write up you just don't believe the Bible, Jesus in the Bible talks about the worms in Hell that never dies. Am not holding brief for these people that shared their experiences, true or false they shall answer to GOD, but you too shall answer to the same God for denying his word. You also twist the same Gospel, first remove the log in your eyes Victor before removing the speck in other people's eyes. Word is you are a hypocrite and deceiver yourself and a joker to claim monopoly of knowing the Bible better than others. From: Paul Cohen To: Aston Cc: Victor Hafichuk Sent: Saturday, June 25, 2016 7:26 AM Subject: Re: Hell testimonies Aston, Paul here. We aren’t denying God’s Word – we’re showing how those who interpret it as you do are plainly wrong and in Hell. The worm that never dies and the fire that isn’t quenched will do their work on you, thank God, as He promised. “For it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.’ So then each one of us will give account concerning himself to God” (Romans 14:11-12 MKJV). When your condemnation has run its course, then you’ll know that God has sent us: “Behold, I give out of those of the synagogue of Satan, those saying themselves to be Jews and are not, but lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before your f...