During a ten day fast, I contemplated the reality of the two natures which do battle within each believer. The Lord was teaching me that He is about reconciling and not utterly destroying the first Adam in us. Did He not provide skins for Adam and Eve? Did He not also provide him Abel and Seth and by Seth, the Messiah? And had Adam and Eve repented and confessed their sin? Not at all. They would not take blame but passed it where they could, even on God. But God planned the salvation of all men and will perform it perfectly. If this is not so, not one of us will be redeemed. It is all or nothing.
I look back at my life with regret and remorse
Because the carnal man has reigned on the throne, of course.
The spiritual man has been battered and bruised;
He has tried to fight but was often confused.
“This is my friend, partner and room-mate!
Why is it he fights me, so full of hate?
He said he agreed with all that I do
And believed the Lord to be entirely true!
What’s this? I find him my enemy!
What he really is, now I’m given to see.
To defeat his cause, the Lord will help me
And only then will we both be free.
He’ll be put in his place and raised from the dead
And the Lord, not he, will rule instead.
From now on, each other we won’t hate but adore,
Shouting in unison, ‘Let there be war no more’.”
Moon River Estates, Jan. 29, 1998
I was hurt by a vain professor of righteousness. Of that person I saw a vision. She was like her kind and her kind like her - light, treacherous, full of lust and hypocrisies. So are all those who "go to church" and think they do God a service.
If and when financial blessings come, one comes into danger of straying after mammon. Mammon has a way of creating and whetting the appetite for more. More accurately, it has a way of rousing the carnal nature with what is already there. I began to be dissatisfied with what my money was doing in the bank at terrible interest rates, thinking I was a coward or a poor steward by not working the money to get better returns. I ended up in the stock market. Fear and Greed, two robust bullies, caught me in the back alley on my way to the bank and beat me severely. I lost two years of peace with my family and God knows how much more. My faith was greatly battered. One cannot play with fire and not get burned. A bitter lesson indeed. My boy had been such a joy to me and I missed him for a part of our lives. If you value life, flee mammon; don't rationalize; don't compromise; don't even think it...flee to God for your life. I wrote this during a fast a couple of years later, when I was expected to die. I've missed my boy since '93; Money was all that I could see; Even robbed him of maternity; Without my boy since '93. Hung a plaque up on the wall The words of which would say it all And failed my duty to heed that call Now all I can do is bawl and bawl. Son, don't ever cry, the fault's not yours; I'm persuaded the Lord will even scores. How does He do it? by the blood He pours, Reuniting us on better shores. Mom, please don't spoil ou...
All of creation points to and teaches us of God, His requirements of us, our relationships to Him. Life in Christ must be as spontaneous and natural as the branches to their tree trunk. And am I presumptuous in pointing out that as branches cannot live without the trunk so the trunk has no life without branches? Can it be that Almighty God is so committed to us, His creation? We are branches, we are one, Not by ourselves, not of ourselves, But we live by the Greater One Which gives us life, Which gives us purpose for being. Though we go our own ways, One this way and that, Still we serve the One greater From where we come, In Whom we have our being and our life. We serve the Greater One and give It life; We live for It and It alone. The Trunk is our source and our deposit, The Beginning and the End. How can we live except we give? If we do not give, the Trunk does not live; If the Trunk does not live, we die. For the Trunk then we live No other choice can there be, Yet we give not so that we live, We are what we are; We do what we do, And if we do well we live. Lethbridge, 1984