In my striving to be conscious of God and to hear His voice and walk with Him, I slowly learned that I do not get the Lord to speak simply by striving to listen. Nor is He always speaking and I hear or get to hear bits and pieces only as I succeed in efforts to “tune in” like a ham operator trying to pick up a frequency. No, the Lord speaks when it pleases Him, and when He speaks, He is fully capable of making Himself heard with or without any help or hindrance from us.
Until we are humbled and repent of our arrogance, we will neither understand nor rest.
Standing atop a mountain peak,
I could not hear a sound.
In vain I strained my ears to hear
But nothing came except a tear
Because I could not hear.
Cold it grew and I withdrew
To lower levels not by choice,
And there I felt more comforted
But silence remained the only voice
And still I could not hear.
“Am I dead?” in pain I asked myself,
“Is there something wrong with me?
I should think that on these wondrous heights
Is where hearing and seeing ought to be.”
And down I came again.
Lower and lower and lower still,
Not even ground level was to be my fill,
But lower and lower and lower ’til
The darkness smothered me out of sight
And my only friends were sorrow and fright.
But I was not alone.
For in the nether of darkness and tether,
Down where I had made my bed,
And where I resigned to live and sleep,
I heard the Voice instead:
“Come up!” It said, “and into the Light.
Rejoice now with new hearing and sight.
I’ll take away your tether and fright
And you’ll be My servant instead.”
Albuquerque, Spring, 1984
They speak for themselves. Naivete says: "All that men say is true, or at least most of what they say is true." "All their facial expressions tell their true feelings." "Most people in everyday common affairs have no reason to lie or to be deceitful." "People conduct themselves as normal beings always or almost always. One can usually take them at face value." Naivete has never met Discretion - never heard of her. But Naivete has a sister: Pride says: "The friendship of people towards me comes out of their admiration for me." (sometimes true) "People see something special in me even if they can't put a finger on it. If they don't, they ought to." "People respect me because I am something special." "All centers on me...all." "All things said and done toward me to my dislike are offensive, wrong and unjustified." "Don't rebuke me; don't rail on and on. It's only your ignorance and bad attitude. I don't want to hear it." "I have spoken. Let all men fall down and worship." "World, watch the grace, see the grace that issues from my precious lips." "I'm sure glad I'M right." Blindness is the brother of Naivete and Pride. Blindness says: "I see me; I see what I do; I see what I see and what I say; there is nothing else." "I don't see the circumstances, their elements, their noteworthiness. With the help of my sisters, I only believe the flatteries people speak to me, of me." Destruction, the child of Pride and Blindness (a marriage of incest) says:...
"Lord, who has believed our report?" cried Isaiah. It is to the sinner a prophet is sent, but sinners do not see nor hear by virtue (or vice) of the fact that they are sinners. The carnal man cannot receive the things of the Spirit. And because they are sinners, they are the ones who need to hear! So then both prophet and perpetrator, both saint and sinner, both herald and hearer learn of the grace of God, without Whom is nothing possible. "Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens." Nobody believes me; They wince when I speak; I give them Scriptures; They give me notions. They profess to love the Lord to honor the Scriptures to walk in righteousness and truth; They have their own bibles Of bits and pieces Tailored to their doctrines To suit their purposes. They hate the Light; They love their gods And their sins. God is anathema to them As He is So they change the glory of God, They take His Name, Giving it to gods of their own liking; They take His words, Wresting them to their destructions With smiling public faces They deceive themselves, saying, "We suffer for His sake; Our reward is stored up For which we have so labored." Paupers, laid in the dust, Naked, diseased, deranged, Babbling vain repetitions, Bled bone dry By the gods they serve, While I remain wealthy and healthy And alone. Moon River, Oct. 31, 1991
Called on a ten day fast from all things dietary (but water) and social, the Lord was drawing me aside to spend time with Him and His saints and to prepare me for the future. The Lord has given me instruction To wait and fast and pray, To submit to this preparation, To accept all, come what may. Come, My darling, come away To a land where there is only day; Loving hearts await you there Where you will rest, free from all care. Come, My friend, why hesitate? I know, you're thinking of your mate. She'll be okay, I promise you, I have yet more for her to do. The time will come to meet again, Not in a bog but pleasant glen, Where you will meet with warm embrace, With joy and gladness, face to face. Your son, Jonathan, I gave to you; I'll make sure his heart is true And when their time is finally through I'll restore them both to you. Moon River Estates, Jan. 29, 1998