To his dying day, my father refused to believe me and could not and would not understand that what had been done in me by God made an irreconcilable difference between him and me not only in terms of thought and way of life but very nature.
He lingered for the old Victor he was once the father of, not willing to accept that I had died. He went to his grave lingering at mine. If only he had desired not the grave for the two of us but the resurrection. What man in his right mind would trade the skies and birds for the underground and worms? So, in all sadness, I turned my back on him, but do not regret it, no, not for a moment.
You linger at my grave, longing for your son;
I’ve left the darkness for the light and what is done is done.
The change in me is not perceived by frail human sight
And so you think that I am wrong and you are surely right.
Reason fails to comprehend the things in my new life;
Explanations will not do, they only lead to strife.
People, habits, memories call but I’ve traded old for new;
I’ve traded all that’s bad and false for all that’s good and true.
I’m a stranger in this world whom you have never met;
I’ve only kept this outer shell on which your hearts are set.
My life is hid in Jesus Christ; believe me you will not;
Your hearts are very hard and cold, for truth you have not sought.
I’d rather walk on foreign soil than to this evil world be loyal,
And trade the rags of dirt and toil for robes magnificent and royal.
Kingly blood flows through my veins as I am led down holy lanes;
I’ve left the world of sorrow and pains, and climb the heights for greater gains.
Some day I know I will return for others who will come
And each man will, in his own time, ’til all are in the sum.
Great and glorious will be the day when all men drop the sword
And raise their hands in harmony to praise our mighty Lord.
Dauphin, 1978, 79
¿Quién ha sabido que el Día del Señor, el Gran Día del Juicio llega en el siervo ungido de Dios que viene sin advertencia, fanfarria u observación? ¿Quién ha sabido que Él no solo viene como ladrón, sino que también permanece y actúa como tal y deja los hogares que ha visitado con sus debidos juicios, mientras que la mayoría no lo sabe hasta mucho después?
Not His ways so much as Him! Yet “theologians” or “studiers of God” presume otherwise. And how ingrained it is in our very carnal natures the thought or belief that somehow we are in control to some extent of our destinies and the destinies of others. How frustrated we get at our failures and at the failures of others when we do not understand that all things, great and small, good and evil, obviously and otherwise are indeed in His hands, that He rules over all. How unforgiving we can be toward others for the evil the Lord has sent our way by them for our good, and toward ourselves for the evil He sent to others by us for their good, not that we can justify ourselves. We seek to do good as we learn. But we must also learn that even our mistakes and evils have served in their place for the time and though these things are to be repented of, they are also to be recognized as purposeful and to be forgotten in the sense of continual regret. And how fretful we are when we find certain circumstances and events are entirely in disagreement to us and beyond our control. But if we know the Lord, and if we know that He is in full control of all and that all He does is for our good, we can indeed forgive, forget and rest. The wisdom of God is unsearchable, His ways past finding out; His thoughts and His actions high above ours, we don’t know what He’s about. Moses He sends to save Israel and Pharaoh’s heart He hardens, And both are found faithful in doing His bidding, both b...
Often and for long periods of time does God hide Himself from His called one, even as He did with all the saints and prophets of old and to the present. We desire so much to walk by sight, as in this world, but must learn to walk by faith, by the little given knowledge of the unknown, the Unknown, that we may know Him. And though He hides Himself to try us, He is always there...there is nowhere one can go from His presence. Yet one can choose to do so, and the one choosing so is not called. Emptiness is not a bad sign in itself as one might suppose. I am ill with sorrow and grief, Vexation and loneliness; My soul is filled with groanings and longings; I look in all directions; I reach out; My hand returns empty; Tears fill my soul; I cry and cry and cry; There is no one to comfort, to console, to ease my pain. Day after day, year after year, Decade after decade, I wait, I long, I cry, I heave and sigh. There is none to understand. I wait for morning; I wait for evening; I am desolate. I eat, I sleep, I cry... Is it sin I say I don't have That causes me to be this way - Desperate, sad, lonely, unfulfilled, Useless, despised, unwanted? This is not the abundant life; Though I have my carnal needs met And freedom to come and go, Yet I have nowhere to come and nowhere to go. All is quiet, uneventful, drab and grey. Do I complain Or do I merely state the way things are For those appointed to such by Divine order, Not for sin But for...