To his dying day, my father refused to believe me and could not and would not understand that what had been done in me by God made an irreconcilable difference between him and me not only in terms of thought and way of life but very nature.
He lingered for the old Victor he was once the father of, not willing to accept that I had died. He went to his grave lingering at mine. If only he had desired not the grave for the two of us but the resurrection. What man in his right mind would trade the skies and birds for the underground and worms? So, in all sadness, I turned my back on him, but do not regret it, no, not for a moment.
You linger at my grave, longing for your son;
I’ve left the darkness for the light and what is done is done.
The change in me is not perceived by frail human sight
And so you think that I am wrong and you are surely right.
Reason fails to comprehend the things in my new life;
Explanations will not do, they only lead to strife.
People, habits, memories call but I’ve traded old for new;
I’ve traded all that’s bad and false for all that’s good and true.
I’m a stranger in this world whom you have never met;
I’ve only kept this outer shell on which your hearts are set.
My life is hid in Jesus Christ; believe me you will not;
Your hearts are very hard and cold, for truth you have not sought.
I’d rather walk on foreign soil than to this evil world be loyal,
And trade the rags of dirt and toil for robes magnificent and royal.
Kingly blood flows through my veins as I am led down holy lanes;
I’ve left the world of sorrow and pains, and climb the heights for greater gains.
Some day I know I will return for others who will come
And each man will, in his own time, ’til all are in the sum.
Great and glorious will be the day when all men drop the sword
And raise their hands in harmony to praise our mighty Lord.
Dauphin, 1978, 79