Of all my writings, there are two that were written in 2 sittings, years apart. These were the first ones I ever wrote, and this one, interestingly enough, speaks of two births. While I had known the first, I had written of it but did not write of the second, which is the resurrection, until I had known it as well. It is therefore most befitting that the words of this writing came in two parts. The first part came only as a poem, words. It is all now a song though the music did come somewhere inbetween the two sittings.
The shadow of the gallows tree
Spreads darkly over the grave,
And in the dust I toss and turn,
Hoping He will save.
I know the work is good as done;
He did it all for me;
He laid my sins upon His Son,
Who suffered the gallows tree.
Some day I’ll be a flutterby,
No more to crawl or squirm,
But it’s His work, I can’t deny,
For I am but a worm.
The angels watch from up above
To see this work beneath;
When God has formed in me His love,
His holy sword He’ll sheath,
And glorious will be that day
When Jesus Christ is manifest,
The day for which the saints do pray,
The whole world will be blessed.
Dauphin, MB; 1978-79
And then…
The heavy stone is rolled away; I’ve risen from the earth.
I have new life and power now; I’ve had my second birth.
The day for Him to judge is here; I sit upon His throne;
He draws His sword a second time and I am not alone.
Yes, now I am that flutterby, no more to crawl or squirm,
But it’s His work, I can’t deny,
For I was but a worm…
Yes, it’s His work, I can’t deny,
For I was but a worm.
Lethbridge, AB; 1984-85
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At a time of discouragement I received these words from the Lord in song and at this very moment as I write this introduction years later in 1996 ( the song was written in 1987), I feel down after having spoken to people who do not believe what I say or that the Lord has sent me to them. Yet I have nowhere but onward to go and am persuaded that these words hold true and someday will be fulfilled.
It seemed we were saying farewell to all things of our past, not just human friends or acquaintances. It also seemed I was prophesying a parting in the future but which would come to an end, never to happen again.
I think that one of the greatest battles I have ever had has been to forsake family and more particularly my parents, and perhaps most particularly, my father. His draw on my heart was so powerful, so very powerful. In his last years, his state was so pitiable that it was very hard for me to refuse him any wishes. It was agonizing indeed. But he died and was buried on my birthday, April 1, 1985. His death was the morning after I received a vision of the Lord standing up to put a stop to the enemies who were tormenting me. I did not know anything of my father's death until the following morning, or that his death and the vision were related. In his death, I felt loosened, with new freedom and power.