“The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” At the time I wrote this, I sincerely thought and desired that I would give anything and everything. I haven’t changed on that except that the Lord has given me more since then and the more I have, the less possible it seems that I can give all. I now have a son and am much more appreciative of what it cost God to give His Son. We have these sincere thoughts as did Peter on the last night but to perform is terribly difficult and even impossible, I say. Only by the grace of God can we give Him everything and it is not without pain if we have that which is valuable to us to give.
But being a jealous God, we must surrender all to Him and He is faithful, patiently and mercifully enabling us to do His will.
I’d give anything
I’d give anything I own
And I mean anything
I’d only ask that what I give
Would be received by Him
That He’d be pleased to have received
All that I give to Him
My heart goes out to Him
My soul desires that all my firstfruits
Do return to Him
That there is nothing held from Him
That He would love to have
What sheer delight is it to give to Him
The best of what I have, the very best
The very best…
Yes, I’d give everything
So much do I love Him
That I’d give everything to Him
He’s given me all things and even
All my love for Him
I only hope that by His grace
I’d give Him everything
Everything, yes, everything.
Let me not forget to give You everything
Not just the first and best but everything.
Helena, MT; August 26, 1987
This song came for Caren Lampitoc, whom Paul met in Philadelphia. How different we discovered the Christian walk to be in comparison to what we had expected or were led to believe it would be! It was lonely, painful of soul, friendless, fraught with enemies on all sides and the greatest enemy was on the inside. How we had to do battle with unbelief, with our carnal desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams, with the lusts of the flesh...lusting mostly for social security, belonging, importance, usefulness. All must be surrendered or lost; there really is no choice in the matter when the call of God is upon one. He that keeps his life loses it and if he loses it for the Lord's sake, it is still lost, if only for a time, even if replaced with more and better somewhere down the road. The main thing is that one must trust God in it all and let it happen. One must learn and accept that God is in charge of all things, working all for good.
In Winnipeg, we met Henry Unrau, who laboured dreadfully under the Law, thinking he was doing God service. He was a tormented soul but a very self-righteous one who, while seeking counsel and help, quite believed that he was in a position of counseling and helping instead toward those who were not enslaved by service of the letter as was he. What ironies and contradictions in man!
Of all my writings, there are two that were written in 2 sittings, years apart. These were the first ones I ever wrote, and this one, interestingly enough, speaks of two births. While I had known the first, I had written of it but did not write of the second, which is the resurrection, until I had known it as well. It is therefore most befitting that the words of this writing came in two parts. The first part came only as a poem, words. It is all now a song though the music did come somewhere inbetween the two sittings.