Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Marriage Before The Lord

On December 21, 2022 a website visitor, Marcin, left the following comment in response to this letter:

3 days later, an “alek” replied to Marcin:

After a few questions regarding the identify of Alek we received a comment from a website visitor named Amber, fessing up to the fake profile and explaining her situation and problem with Marcin:

Marcin responded:

Marcin prepared this response for Amber and sent it to Victor to determine if it was appropriate to share publicly:

 Marcin S
Sent: December 25, 2022 6:03 AM
To: Victor Hafichuk


Yes, my picture is me from two years ago or so. The facts you provided are mostly true, apart from you having that dream from God. And I assume March 2021 refers to my repentance at that time, though that was a checklist repentance, a work of the flesh, and not godly repentance.

Anyway, I asked about your picture because the person in the picture, and your name, do not match. See the source for the picture:

I’m also skeptical that you came here from, though I don’t have proof for my suspicions. But if you did, how did you come across

Now, you know I don’t like playing games, Amber, so cutting to the chase. You say I’m hiding behind false righteousness, but that’s what I’m trying to leave behind. I know now that I’m a sinner, who cannot do anything good or right. But, during my time with you, I definitely was very self-righteous, yes, and everything I did was through my own will and not the Lord’s. I tried to drive out demons on my authority, followed deceiving spirits, laid hands and tried to heal without authority to do so, and even gave false prophecies as you do here. I was deceived by false signs and wonders, and I deserved it.

I think that I was somehow engaging in magic by trying to control reality with my thoughts and prayers. It was my idea for you and I to enter into a relationship and also mine to start fornicating. I also thought that I was better and more spiritual than everyone, and hated the very people I deemed to help.

Look, I was just an all-around asshole. Still am. Much of this was due to great pride on my part, which I’ve confessed to you. I was a terrible person, and deserve death. If there’s anything else that I can confess, if I wronged you in any other way, I am willing to confess it here publicly, under my own name.

But I am not returning to you, and I am not sorry for that. That “marriage” was a total nightmare. I did it because I thought it was the Lord’s will, and I believed I made a commitment before Him. Honestly, I wanted to be a hero – I knew you were a mess, but I wanted to be the one who saved you. That brought nothing but death to both of us. Thank God, He saved me from all that and got me out of there, despite all my mistakes.

I have forgiven you, really. A lot of what happened was my fault, and all of this was appointed by the Lord – but I cannot trust you again, short of *genuine* repentance from the Lord. I think your behavior here shows why I cannot trust you. In the meantime, I am extremely thankful that this all happened the way it did – truly, genuinely. That relationship was the worst thing that ever happened to me, but the best possible thing for me, if that makes sense. I know I would not have accepted Jesus Christ in the flesh if God had not first put me through all that.

I never wanted our personal baggage to be known to our families, friends, and now to the public, but you insist on it, and I suppose it is the Lord’s will, which is perfect and good. So, here it is, everything from my side out in the open. I’m not interested in a lengthy argument with you that wastes everyone’s time and goes nowhere. Been there, done that, SO many times. This is all I have to say. But, if there is anything else I can confess I will respond to that, Lord willing.

Meanwhile, Amber wrote to us via email explaining her situation:


From: Amber M
Date: Sun, Dec 25, 2022 at 9:56 AM
Subject: Marcin


Sorry about the drama on the website. Please can you remove those posts? I don’t want to make Marcin look bad. I should have just asked for your advice but I was scared Marcin would tell everyone not to talk to me since he cut me off. Maybe this is too much information, but we didn’t sign papers at the wedding, so we aren’t married legally, but he’s the only guy I’ve had sex with and we both made the commitment before God in front of our families.

I was serious about my commitment and I never want to be with anyone else. When I was with him, my life got better in every way, and since we separated in September, I’ve been a mess. He was the only stable person I had in my life. He was my rock, and I tried my best to follow his lead, but I don’t know how to do that anymore when we’re in different states and not talking. I think we both need a community that can teach us a better way and hold us to higher standards and I was hoping maybe you guys could help me figure out the right way to handle all of this. There are a lot of other details and you can ask me anything.


From: Victor Hafichuk
Date: Sun, Dec 25, 2022 at 10:41 AM
Subject: RE: Marcin

Amber, everything will be okay. We’re kind of busy today but I’ll try to get back to you and Marcin. He also wrote, and like you, he’s willing to make everything public, so no worries there. I think things are shaping up in both your favors. Lord willing, you will both follow Him. We’ll get back to you.


From: Amber
Date: Sun, Dec 25, 2022 at 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: Marcin

Just to be completely up front and open with you, I signed marriage papers with a pyschopath in 2018, Michael, he was the first guy I dated and he completely manipulated me. I was super naive and he lied to me about everything in his life. He was a secret drug addict but he blamed the withdrawal symptoms on a terminal illness and I was blinded by my empathy wanting to help him in his sickness.

I told him I didn’t want to move in together unless we were married, so we signed papers at the courthouse alone. I think he just wanted to live with me just so he could control me. From the first day, he wanted separate bedrooms. He was physically abusive and beat me up every other day. He tried to light my hair on fire, he stabbed me, put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger (it happened to be empty), everything in the house was broken.

He slept with the car keys in his pocket and had all my text messages forwarded to his phone so I couldn’t leave or contact anyone without him knowing. I was basically a prisoner for 2 years. I constantly had bruises all over my body. I was so scared, and only by a miracle someone else heard one of our fights and called the police. I pressed domestic abuse charges in 2021. This guy is still trying to control me by doing everything in his power to delay finalizing the divorce. It’s still not finalized, so technically I am legally married to Michael, which is why Marcin and I didn’t sign papers.

Marcin and I felt like, at the time, that God wanted us to do the wedding. There were a ton of signs and we had faith in them. Maybe we were wrong. We didn’t have anyone giving us advice. In my heart and mind Marcin is my husband forever. He completely turned my life around and healed me after that relationship. I wouldn’t be alive right now without him. He healed me physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I’m honestly pretty confused about how the spiritual realm works but he cast some spirits out of me and that changed me too. I think I actually don’t understand the God that he knows but I want to. I really respect him.

I just saw your message that you’re busy today. Thanks for the help and encouragement.


From: Amber M
Date: Mon, Dec 26, 2022 at 9:59 PM
Subject: Re: Marcin

This is my last email and then I’ll wait for a reply. I just wanted to share some thoughts. I know you’re busy and appreciate you taking the time to read this.

Marcin was a super great guy toward me until about August, then something changed. It happened about the same time that I was really sick for a month and he lost his job. I wrote out a long email explaining how he treated me for those six weeks before we separated, but then I decided it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he tricked me in September by telling me that we needed to separate so that we could grow spiritually and wait for my divorce to be finalized, saying we were in sin. I trusted his discernment and left willingly, without a fight, because he said that’s what God wanted us to do, and because he said we were going to get back together.

After we separated, every time that I asked him what God was teaching him, he said he couldn’t talk about it. As time went on, he slowly cut me off more and more to the point that, at the beginning of December, he had changed all of his account names and blocked every way that could contact him. He had disappeared until I saw him on your site.

The second to last text message I got from him said that he realized he had been following a false Jesus and needed to start over. I didn’t know what that meant until I saw your articles about it. I would have started over with him if he had explained it to me. I still will start over with him because I was serious about my end of the commitment. If he had told me what God was showing him, I would have trusted him, like how I believed him when he said we should separate. If he had wanted us to do anything differently in the relationship, all he had to do was say so, he was the leader. I think him leaving was a sin and he tried to do it in a way that made himself look and feel righteous by blaming it on the divorce paperwork. I don’t know that God cares about paperwork I have with a guy I never slept with and who was beating me up. Especially since it was incredibly obvious to everyone that God used Marcin to heal me after that relationship. I know I can’t make Marcin be with me, but I do feel like there should be some accountability regarding this. I am willing to go into more details if you want, but it seems like God is not ok with him disappearing on me, otherwise I wouldn’t have found your site.

That’s just my opinion and I’m sure there’s more going on since Marcin hasn’t talked to me in a long time. Also I haven’t been on your site very long so I’m coming from an outsider’s view, but that’s how things look from my perspective right now. Thanks for hearing me out.




Victor’s response:

As evident in the correspondence from Marcin and Amber and communications from those commenting on them at TPOT, we have the consent of the parties involved to publicly declare some details concerning their circumstances. It’s appropriate that we as believers in Christ, deal honestly, sincerely, and fairly with one another, especially concerning grievous sins like idolatry, lying, and fornication.

Consider these verses from the Holy Scriptures for our guidance and confirmation:

Ecclesiastes 5 (KJV)

1) Keep thy foot when thou go to the house of God and be more ready to hear than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil.
2) Be not rash with your mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter anything before God: for God is in heaven, and you upon the earth: therefore let your words be few.
3) For a dream comes through the multitude of business, and a fool’s voice is known by a multitude of words.
4) When you vow a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for He has no pleasure in fools: pay what you have vowed.
5) Better is it that thou should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay
6) Suffer not your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; neither say before the angel, that it was an error: why should God be angry at your voice, and destroy the work of your hands?
7) For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but fear God.

“You shall not steal, neither deal falsely, or lie one to another” (Leviticus 19:11).

“Lie not one to another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his deeds” (Colossians 3:9).

“Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14).

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits fornication sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

I’ll get to the point: Marcin and Amber, whether I’m right or wrong – and you must decide, from all that you’ve confessed and declared of yourselves, you are man and wife. I say this for more than one reason:

One, you made vows to the Lord. See how the Scriptures provided witness to how serious that is.

Two, we’re told that both Marcin’s and Amber’s parents consented to the marriage and witnessed the event.

Three, you declare you have consummated the marriage, in which you are obligated to honor it before God to the end of your lives here on earth – as commonly declared, “…till death do us part, so help me God.”

Four, it appears that Amber’s heart is set on Marcin, with goodwill and no apparent evil intent even if Marcin has wronged her. I see that as an act of God and godliness. Yes, she declared some things that weren’t true, but not with evil intent that I can tell. She was bringing the truth of the matter to light to resolve the injustice done to her.

Five, we can marvel at how Amber was able to find Marcin on the internet in a very peculiar way, almost impossible one might say. I see this as an act of God to flush out Marcin in his deception and negligence of responsibility.

Six, I see God’s mercy toward both of them. Remember what God did with Ananias and Sapphira for their similar, not identical, sins (Acts 5).

Seven, you have both been brought here to God’s site, TPOT. He has brought you here for judgment, correction, instruction, and, I believe, for confirmation of marriage by His will. Choose this day whom you’ll serve.

Marcin, why are you running from Amber? You don’t say. What are you holding back from us? Can you be honest with Amber? What didn’t you receive that you were expecting or receive that you weren’t expecting?

And what makes you think you’re free to take a woman’s privacy, whether virgin or otherwise, and abandon her as a prostitute? And don’t you know that you owe her parents either faithfulness to their daughter or compensation for violating her?

If a man encounters a virgin who is not pledged in marriage, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are discovered, 29then the man who lay with her must pay the young woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she must become his wife because he has violated her. He must not divorce her as long as he lives…(Deuteronomy 22:28-29).

Amber, you declare that Marcin has greatly helped you. Be thankful to God but don’t you dare idolize Marcin. In other words, don’t make a hero of him. That would be Baal worship – yet another grievous sin. As you can see, God has amply demonstrated to you and all that Marcin’s no hero and he certainly hasn’t been conducting himself as a saint. Of course, Jonah wasn’t much different in similar ways, when you consider it. Neither were the Corinthians – at times they were a lawless bunch. Paul called on them to repent, seriously warning them of the gravity of their sins as believers.

Marcin, as a person brought to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, you need to flee fornication and idolatry, whether as the idolater or the idolized. Same thing for each of you. You’ve been brought before God to worship Him – nobody and nothing else. I also believe He has brought you here to worship Him together as man and wife. Amber, your “marital” association by legal formality with the fellow you mentioned was not of God. You are free of that situation and God has delivered you. Give thanks to Him for delivering you out of the pit of destruction. Marcin, you can also be thankful to God and consider what great things He’s done for both of you.

Can anyone produce valid cause before man and God that you two shouldn’t be man and wife? If so, speak up or forever hold your peace.

If either of you needs healing or deliverance from spirits, the Lord will take care of it in good time as you believe, repent, and obey. He guarantees so by His Word, He’s Just, and He’s Merciful. But you dare not play with fire. God is a Consuming Fire. He’s not your toy. And Amber isn’t your throwaway toy.

Prove me wrong, change my mind, and I’ll gladly back off by God’s Grace. Father, make everything we need to know be known for all our sakes.

Have there not been people who identify with TPOT who have spoken hasty and foolish words concerning Marcin and Amber as indicated in this correspondence? I think those people know who they are and need to earnestly and openly confess their errors. Doing so, God will forgive you, unless you persist in trying to be great and important. In which case, it won’t be pretty. I know the Lord is finished winking.

Victor Hafichuk


Notify of
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Provide your email if you would like to receive periodic correspondence from us.

You can leave a comment herex