Hi Erin, and welcome to The Path of Truth, the Lord's website.
Regarding head coverings, there are a couple pertinent experiences Victor's relates in wHaT tHe LoRd HaS dOnE wItH mE
. I believe the following will help you with more than one aspect of your struggles:Particle - Head Coverings for Women
The Lord guided us through many issues that are manifested in various systems of belief. Some believe in baptism by immersion, keeping the Sabbath, observing the “Lord's Supper,” foot washing; some emphasize doctrines like eternal security, and so forth.
Some, such as Hutterites, some Mennonites, and Pentecostals, believe in head coverings for women - some while in church meetings (gatherings) only, others in any public involvement. They do this in attempting to follow these Scriptures:“So a man who prays or proclaims God's message in public worship with his head covered disgraces Christ. And any woman who prays or proclaims God's message in public worship with nothing on her head disgraces her husband; there is no difference between her and a woman whose head has been shaved. If the woman does not cover her head, she might as well cut her hair. And since it is a shameful thing for a woman to shave her head or cut her hair, she should cover her head” (1 Corinthians 11:4-6 GNB).
And: “Judge for yourselves whether it is proper for a woman to pray to God in public worship with nothing on her head” (1 Corinthians 11:13 GNB).
For a while, we believed Marilyn should wear a scarf, shawl, or hat when gathered with others, and she did so. Yet it didn't witness with us; we weren't free in it. Scriptures closely following the above have this to say:“Why, nature itself teaches you that long hair on a man is a disgrace, but on a woman it is a thing of beauty. Her long hair has been given her to serve as a covering” (1 Corinthians 11:14-15 GNB).
We eventually came to the conclusion that the Lord ordained long hair for a symbolic covering for women, and therefore a hat or headscarf wasn't necessary for Marilyn. The longer hair acknowledges God's order and authority through the man. Of course, that acknowledgment can only come with the proper spirit through Christ, both in the man and the woman.
Yet the time would come that the Lord would humble me by prophetically ministering to me on another matter through a young maiden who - you guessed it - wore a head scarf for a spiritual covering at a public meeting.
As for the cutting of hair, while some women are convinced their hair should never be cut, we are granted to understand that it isn't the cutting, but cutting the hair too short, that is the issue. A benefit in the difference in hair length is that a casual onlooker can more easily tell the two sexes apart. A woman having hair too short isn't natural according to the apostle Paul, the Judeo-Christian culture, and God's original intention. And here is the particle Victor refers to, where he was humbled: Particle - A Covered Head Covers My Head
The Richardsons, who were Pentecostal evangelicals from Yorkton, Saskatchewan, held a meeting at the Orange Hall on Main Street in Dauphin, and we decided to go. They believed in the use of head coverings for women in church services, which the Lord had taught us
was not what the apostle Paul was talking about to the Corinthians. As they had their meeting of prayer, song, and testimony, I sat there with a degree of cynicism, yet hoping that, somehow, the Lord might do something for me.
He did. One of the young ladies, perhaps in her late teens, wearing a headscarf, stood up to prophesy. She said, “There is a man here who has believed men rather than God. He has been confused and full of doubts, so much so that he suffers headaches.”
It didn't take me long to realize I was the man. She asked that the man would stand and acknowledge the message, that it is for him from God. I was too proud to do so.
Meanwhile, a couple of others stood up, thinking they were the man. I knew they weren't, and the girl knew they weren't. She insisted there was another. Finally, I put up my hand. She was satisfied and ceased to ask further. She had no idea who I was or what was going on with me. I had the sense that she knew her message was for me before I put up my hand. Was that true, or was it my conscience speaking?
I felt badly that I had been cynical towards them and also too proud to confess I was that man. I knew the Lord had spoken to me. I hadn't realized that unbelief caused my turmoil and headaches. I was relieved to know that it wasn't where we were (in Dauphin), or what we were doing, that was unacceptable to God (He was indeed ruling and leading), but my lack of trust in Him.
From that day forward, I resolved not to believe what Mickey or my mother or anyone else had to say in criticism. I decided to believe the Lord. One of the things I determined to believe was that He spared us from joining Mount Zion Christian Center. This faith would soon lead to fruition, a revelation about Bill Kellers and Dave Roberts. [END OF SEGMENTS]
What you write about head coverings (I was saved without that cloth...filled with the Spirit without that cloth...why do I need it now?
) reminds me of what Paul wrote to the Galatians: “Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, do you now perfect yourself in the flesh” (Galatians 3:3 MKJV).
Here are some writings that could help bring you clarity on a couple other issues where you've mentioned suffering confusion:How the Lord Gave Us the Sabbath
Spiritually Keeping the Physical Sabbath
The True Day of Worship
What Does One Do on the Sabbath?
The Feast-Keeping that Is Sin
You write about your recent experience with Botkin:
“I am angry that we were so stupid as to be led astray yet again by wrong teachings!
Was this stupidity, which term applied to believers indicates willful disobedience, or are you learning of the Lord as He oversees your spiritual journey that includes dividing the wheat from the chaff, internally and externally, bringing you from darkness to light?
Will you be sharing this with your husband? Is he also seeking light?