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A Mother’s Dilemma with an Evil Child and Husband

From: Victor Hafichuk
To: Femeca
Cc: Marilyn Hafichuk and Paul Cohen
Sent: Saturday, January 02, 2016 10:07 PM
Subject: Follow Up to Our Recent Talk

Hi Femeca,

We always appreciate hearing from you, to hear of your faith and your expression of it. But the other night at the latter part of our phone call, it became disturbing because of what was happening with Joshua.

He repeatedly said, “Shut up!” Understanding there was nobody there but you two, I assumed he was speaking to you. I was amazed he would do or be allowed to do such a thing. Then when you asked him who he was speaking to, he said he was telling the Devil to shut up. Was he lying to you, or did he honestly believe that? 

If he believed he was telling the Devil to shut up, 2 possibilities come to mind. He either has devils and he’s talking to himself or to a devil in him, or he is talking to what he believes is the Devil with me, as he is influenced by his father.

I think I recall how you said people were accusing you of listening to the Devil. I believe you said your husband was accusing you in this way because you were associating with TPOT and that we were of the Devil. If your husband was saying these things in Joshua’s presence, it would be quite understandable that Joshua thought you were talking to the Devil, seeing you were hearing of the things of God from us.

You also told us your husband would shout at you and tell you to shut up. Like it or not, he’s winning at setting the pace for Joshua. We heard a very unruly, impudent boy there, one whom you aren’t at all disciplining.

Do you know if he was talking to you or to me? If to either of us, he was speaking and acting in such a manner as would call for the parents to stone their child for such conduct, never mind severely reprimanding him. Are you aware of that? Do you have any idea of the gravity of his conduct and offense, particularly against a parent?

“For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him” (Leviticus 20:9 ESV).

“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15 ESV).

“The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son is the sorrow of his mother” (Proverbs 10:1 MKJV). 

“He who assaults his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach” (Proverbs 19:26 MKJV). 

“There is a generation that curses their father, and does not bless their mother… The eye that mocks at his father and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it” (Proverbs 30:11,17 MKJV). 

Femeca, it was embarrassing for us to witness that conduct. I should think that with your faith, it would be or should be very embarrassing to you. This matter should be of great concern to you because without correction…listen for it, here it comes…you are destroying your son.

You need an answer from the Lord for your quandary, and it is no easy position you’re in, we understand. You have a husband who despises you and who is training his son by example to despise you. Your son is being destroyed in the process and is pretty much there, I’d say, not that the Lord can’t save. We know He can and does, but this is a sobering situation, indeed.

What would the Lord have you do, Femeca? You need to know. I have prayed, as you’ve asked and thought this through, troubled for you. I thought, “Femeca needs to submit to her husband and go to his church after all, even as Naaman the Syrian was permitted to bow with his master to a pagan god.”

“In this thing may the LORD pardon your servant, that when my master goes to the house of Rimmon to worship there, and he is supported by my hand, and I bow myself in the house of Rimmon; when I bow myself in the house of Rimmon, may the LORD pardon your servant in this thing. And he said to him, Go in peace. And he went away from him a little way” (2 Kings 5:18-19 MKJV). 

But as I thought of that option, I didn’t have peace. I could be wrong, but that’s what I felt (Paul agrees that the Lord isn’t calling for this). I believe the Lord has enlightened and called you out. I also think this option would not permit you to raise your son as he ought to be raised, not that it’s about merely saving your son. Besides, the issue is with you and if you were walking in faith in rearing your son, last night would have been a different scene entirely.

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Proverbs 19:18 KJV). 

I thought, “She needs to take the rod to the child in great earnestness and discipline to save his soul”:

“Do not withhold correction from a boy, for if you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14 MKJV). 

But I thought, “There’s seems no doubt Femeca’s husband in his anger and pride would have her charged and even committed should she do what needs to be done with his son. In which case, she’ll avail nothing with Joshua and both the bottle and the wine will spill and perish.” 

What is another alternative? Femeca could try to flee with Joshua but there are 3 or more problems with that. One, where would she go and be safe? Two, her husband would prevent her, and three, she would be bringing along a son who, to us, appears to be your husband’s and not yours. Sad for you, but isn’t it true? We’ve seen this scene before with Lois Benson and her youngest, Jason – see my Theo-autobio around the year 1988. Femeca, did you know we’re called from the womb, whether as vessels of honor or dishonor? Read about Jacob and Esau in Rebecca’s womb.

The issue is not your husband or your son. The issue is your faith and obedience to God for your soul’s sake. You need to know the Lord’s will in this matter and knowing it, submit to it. 

It will be the cross, as usual and never otherwise. It will be painful. But you need to know and act. Perhaps you already know what is required of you, but you just don’t want to come to terms with it. If you don’t obey, you’ll lose your life, but if you obey for His sake, you’ll have it. 

I believe you need to forsake your husband and son. Is your son not more precious to you than your Maker? 


From: Femeca
To: Victor Hafichuk
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2016 11:20 AM
Subject: Re: Your Phone Call


I hope that you all are well, thank you for getting back to me.  I desired to talk to you all tonight but I am having problems with my IPhone.  I am unable to make or receive calls so now i’m waiting for Verizon to send me a new one (it will arrive tomorrow).  Would it be okay for me to call Thursday evening?  I would like to ask questions candidly and frankly without being offensive to you or your wife.  I do not want to be pretentious and I do not think I am but there are spiritual things I am thinking about and natural things to pertaining to my life that I am searching for the truth and the way to go about doing what is good.  Basically, I feel like I need help.  Thank you Victor and Marilyn.   

Not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ,

From: Victor Hafichuk
To: Femeca
Cc: Marilyn Hafichuk and Paul Cohen
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2016 3:10 PM
Subject: RE: Your Phone Call

Hi Femeca, 

We’ll be away for the day on Thursday and home late, perhaps even later than we expect, given certain potential developments. Would Friday during the day be okay? If not, when?

From: Femeca
To: Victor Hafichuk
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2016 12:23 PM
Subject: Re: Follow Up to Our Recent Talk

Thank you so much!!!

From: Femeca
To: Victor and Marilyn Hafichuk
Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2016 2:49 PM
Subject: Hi

Hi Victor and Marilyn,

How are you today?  Thinking about the both of you.  This season has been an extremely difficult one for me, beyond what words can express.  It has been one filled with fear, turmoil, heartache and many times, confusion.  But, to God belong all glory, honor and praise.  I want to say that I thank the both of you for saying to me what is most needed and truthful, just, good and right.  Initially I felt overwhelmed by the flood of emotions I felt, not being able to really know exactly what was going on in my own soul. It was difficult for me to process it all because so many other things were going on in my life. After speaking to you all  I am stirred in my being.  I feel so grateful for the wisdom you shared. Marilyn, I never had the opportunity to speak to you for very long before.  Your godly wisdom has affected me.  May The Lord continue to use the both of you for the work of the ministry to help many others, especially considering the days we are in.   In due time I will send a picture of my son and myself.  I hope that I can speak with you all again, soon.  May the Lord Himself richly reward you for your love toward His name.

-Not ashamed of Jesus Christ

From: Victor Hafichuk
To: Femeca
Cc: Marilyn Hafichuk and Paul Cohen
Sent: Sunday, February 28, 2016 8:01 PM
Subject: RE: Hi

Hi Femeca,

I understand you receive our daily correspondence on occasion, but are you aware we have Bible readings nearly each day on chat and phone conference, and that if you can’t make them, you can go to our Forum and hear the audio transcripts of the meetings? 

Are you aware that if you can’t attend the Sabbath meetings, the transcripts are available? As well, you can participate in the Forum. You’re invited to come meet with all of those whom the Lord has gathered – if you join the Forum you’ll have access to more information and instructions in the Private section about how to do these things.

If interested, contact Paul and he’ll show you how to get started. 


From: Femeca
To: Paul Cohen
Sent: Friday, March 04, 2016 3:07 PM
Subject: Fellowship
Hi Paul,
How are you doing?  I pray that you are well.  I am pasting the words from an email that Victor sent to me on 2/28 (see above).  I am interested in participating in one or more of these forums.  I would like to participate in the Bible readings or at least listening to the audio transcripts.  Thank you Paul.
Not ashamed of Jesus Christ,

From: Paul Cohen
To: Femeca
Sent: Friday, March 4, 2016 7:41 PM,
Subject: Re: Fellowship

Hi Femeca,
That would be good if you could join us – we have a Bible reading tonight at 8:00 pm MST, which is 10:00 pm your time, from what I recall of your whereabouts. Here’s the phone number and access code:
To have access to the Bible reading and meeting recordings, and the Sabbath meeting transcripts, you’ll need to join the Forum (you’ll find more instructions there, too). 
To join the Forum, click on the Forum hyperlink on any page at the site, and then click on the “Register” link at the top right corner. Once you’ve registered, Ronnie will give you access to the Private section, where you’ll see links for the Sabbath Meetings and Bible Readings. Let us know if you have any questions, or if you have problems getting there. 
And I’m well – thanks for asking. I’m thankful for the Sabbath this evening – it’s been a full week. Lots of good things happening, from which I need to recuperate! And yes, those good things include hard situations for those who are the Lord’s, a very necessary part of working out our salvation, bringing glory to God and causing us to know Him by faith.

From: Femeca
To: Paul Cohen
Sent: Friday, March 04, 2016 7:04 PM
Subject: Re: Fellowship

Thank you Paul for sharing your words of faith and encouragement.
Femeca came to the Bible reading the same night (Friday, March 4th) and heard that she needed to “come out from among them.” This entailed leaving her husband and even her son Joshua if he claimed his son and wouldn’t permit her to leave with him (discussed in a phone conversation weeks earlier).

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