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PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.)

ParticleLack of Discipline for Jonathan?

Lois and Mark perceived and expressed concern that Jonathan was deceitful and lacking discipline. Sean also complained of how we were too lenient on him and of how he misbehaved. Seeing that Jonathan was more with Marilyn and seldom with me, and that he wouldn’t conduct himself in my presence as he would elsewhere, I was at a loss to determine the validity of these concerns.

I often complained of Marilyn’s favoritism toward Jonathan, not in preference to me, but in preference to that which was right and necessary for him from a parent. I was also concerned about her conduct with him. It was more of a “buddy-buddy” relationship than that of a mother and son. She quite often gave him things and privileges I wouldn’t give.

On my part, it seemed I had failed to discern Jonathan’s spiritual needs or fulfill them, whether because I was barely with him anymore, or because I was unwilling to tend to the unsavory duty, or because of Marilyn’s prevalent influence. She home-schooled him for hours a day, and they were together all the time.

To spoil Jonathan would be a great injustice, for which we would pay a fearful price. I’d seen good things with Jonathan but I also saw things that disturbed me.

ParticleDream of Courage, Boldness, Standing Up, Archie an Enemy

In the night of October 21-22, I had an unpleasant dream. I was confronted with a young false prophet who had seduced perhaps a dozen or so people. He was petty, vindictive, very selfish, and arrogant. If one were to cross him even with a difference in opinion, he wouldn’t tolerate or forgive. It was a scary thing.

I was afraid of him, apologetic, and compromising to the extent that I fully agreed with him, but this wasn’t good enough for him. He was going to have his pound of flesh. I decided that I had to be true to God; there was no profit in compromise, even if the Lord didn’t care, so I decided to confront this fellow.

As I began to withstand him and he began to retaliate, I grew in strength, though still having some trepidation. He picked up a rock and threw it at me. He had little strength so the rock fell low toward my knees. I caught it in my right hand while never taking my eyes off his.

I then closed in on him to lay my right hand on his head, which he strongly resisted but couldn’t prevent. I came against the demons in him in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I repeated the Lord’s Name one or two times. He went stone dead, not in physical life so much as in mental ability, which paralyzed him physically. He wasn’t delivered and I didn’t expect to see a redemption, but he was rendered helpless.

Archie was there, playing with a train set. Presumably, he was aware of what was going on, but preferred to be occupied with his play. When I called for his participation, he argued and became quite antagonistic to the point of physically attacking me. He was full of bitterness and devils.

Experiencing once again the same fears I had just had with the previous fellow, I summoned my courage and strength and withstood Archie, rebuking him in the Name of the Lord Jesus. He sneered, grew taller than me, but departed, not able to stand against me.

As Archie was leaving, I saw Mark in the hall outside, carrying away the man I had rendered helpless.

Interpretation:

That fear I experienced is one of lack of faith in the Lord, which leads to compromise and denying Him in everyday life. It had been bothering me, but I was sensing a gradual strengthening and change in me, leading to standing boldly and faithfully in the Lord with everyone, everywhere, and at all times.

This reminded me of Lois’ prophecy I found back in 1984 or 1985. It said:

“Behold, the time is coming when you will hear blasphemous things spoken about God. You will be tempted with fleshly allurements, but stay on the path that is hardest to endure, for you will know Me only on this path. Be prepared to speak the truth to the beasts and to declare your position and power in the Lord Jesus Christ as the day draws near.”

I felt that preparation and rejoiced in it. I saw where my holding back had been for naught, yet there had to come a time when there would be those who say, “He is beside himself.” To everything there’s a time and season, as the Bible says, and I was being prepared for the greatest time of my life by far.

Archie was an arch-enemy. He and his family condemned us as a cult and would do everything to oppose and do me evil, outside of perhaps some forms of criminal violence.

We would see if my expectations were true.

ParticleLois’ Vision: I, in the Lord, Hold Up Hand and Stop Battle

On Monday, October 25, 1999, Lois had a vision wherein she saw the Lord, or me in the Lord, standing on a high hill with back turned toward her, watching and controlling an ancient battle of armies on horses in a valley. The man lifted up his right hand and the battle ceased.

Lois was about to walk away, but was somehow made aware to remain and see more. She then saw the valley filled with a city full of constructive activity and good works, the very opposite of what had been there before the man stopped the battle. He then turned and walked.

At this time, Lois was going through great internal strife. The battle was within her, and the day I prayed for her just before she began fasting was the raising of my hand in the Lord.

ParticleDebbie Neu Frowns

Some friends of Debbie Neu bought some apples from us and she came over to pay for them. She was quite friendly with Marilyn, but when I appeared, she went cold. What sort of fruits do these kinds of attitudes bring forth?

Are the fearful justified? Are those they fear at fault? We would see, as we already so often have.

ParticleBitterness toward Marilyn Checked

On October 26th, I was still bitter toward Marilyn. I prayed and confessed so. Whether all this was my fault or hers or someone else’s, I was still called upon to suffer and pay the price. If guilty, I had nothing to complain about. If I was asked by the Lord to lay down my life for the others, it should be counted a privilege and an honor to serve the Lord so. There was no room for bitterness on my part. If it was nobody’s fault, again there was no room for bitterness, as it was therefore the Lord’s doing.

ParticleReading to Jonathan

By now Jonathan and I had red many translations of the Bible and several other books together. We’d just completed Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, which he much enjoyed, and we were now beginning Pinocchio.

ParticleTo Die or Not To Die? What a Question!

Kerri once said she believed I would never die. Jonathan once said he believed I would live forever, that I would never die. Many years before, in the early 70’s, I believe, I seemed to be taking the Lord’s words of John 11:26 quite literally:

“And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:26 MKJV)

Not long ago, the Lord said to me, “You’ll not be dying. Will you believe Me?” (So similar were those words to the Scripture.) While I interpreted those words to apply only to Marilyn’s prophecy, could it be that I would never die? Jesus said it to His disciples, they believed, and they died. Obviously, He wasn’t meaning exemption from physical death, but because His words are true and His promises sure, the disciples did experience what He did mean. They experienced an outward death of the body, but their inner man would never perish.

Nevertheless, it now came to me that when the Lord spoke those words to me, He meant them for all time, quite physically. My body argued against this interpretation – it continued to deteriorate quite normally, if not faster than usual, not that I couldn’t be “changed in the twinkling of an eye.”

ParticleTranslation?

Enoch never died physically and neither did Elijah. One desire I have always had was to be translated as they were, if only for the fun of what those left behind would face trying to explain my disappearance to the authorities or the authorities trying to prove or comprehend anything!

Certainly a motive could be established – it would seem my wife wanted me dead. But where the weapon, the body, the mode of crime, or any evidence of one? Imagine the incredulity of the truth when told it, their frustration at trying to prove the testimony false, or their perplexity at witnessing the perfectly sincere reports. Can the witnesses all be “crazy”? Ha!

Obviously, this motive for a translation isn’t good enough for God. But I want it for any legitimate reason, though it doesn’t really matter if it’s not His will.

ParticleReading the Bible with Jonathan

On November 5th, Jonathan and I ate some spoiled watermelon and were ill within minutes. We both vomited it up, felt weak then progressively better, had some genuine ginger ale, which helped noticeably, had breakfast, and red the Bible.

I red Exodus 26 through 29 to him and he was keen, asking questions about the Tabernacle, its dimensions and their sizes, the gold, the ark, and the precious stones. He then asked me to read in First Samuel, where the people asked for a king and God gave them one, not according to His will, but theirs.

“How did Moses remember all those instructions as to the details of how to build everything?” Jonathan asked.

Good question. I had often wondered that myself. “It was given him to remember,” I replied, marveling. It didn’t occur to me to point out to Jonathan that when receiving the instructions on the mount, Moses had fasted for forty days. I recalled how my memory was marvelously improved after my 25 days of fasting, so much so that, months later, at the end of 1997, when I wrote a summary of the year, I was able to recall significant people and details in their order.

A few years later, when reviewing the summary, I was amazed, wondering how anyone could do such a thing! But I did it, and I believed my fasting had facilitated my memory.

Particle – Blessings of the Deep

One night and in it, I realized I was experiencing the fulfillment of the Word of the Lord spoken to me in the mid 80’s, saying, “Even the deeps will be a blessing to you, My son.” I was finding myself appreciating what I once hated – the rejection, the solitude, the stripping of my life. I couldn’t explain it – it wasn’t that I really enjoyed it, but it was a blessing, not a curse, as I once saw it.

I understood more about what Hannah Hurnard was trying to say in Hind’s Feet in High Places. She, as expressed in her main character, Much Afraid, saw that Sorrow and Suffering were turning out to be strong, faithful, and enjoyable companions, from whom she once shrank. When she learned to accept them, they were eventually transformed to Peace and Joy, even as she herself was transformed to Grace and Glory.

The things I once feared, I was no longer afraid of. Instead, I was thankful.

ParticleTotal Consecration

This day, I repeated in a still deeper way, it seems, “Lord, I want to be the representation of You on earth, utterly Yours, everywhere, at all times, in everything, before all, totally faithful and devoted, totally committed to Your concerns. I want to be as You on earth towards all men. I want to be Your heart’s desire, judgment, expression, and righteousness, a complete vessel devoted entirely for Your own personal possession, not only in this world but everywhere.

“I can’t make it happen. I know I’m not there but this I desire above all things. All other things gathered together in a great bundle are not worthy to be compared to this.

“I will never be satisfied until this is fulfilled, Lord. Let there be not a speck of compromise or shortcoming in me for Your sake, Lord. I desire to be Your manifestation to this world in all integrity, purity, and holiness.”

I recalled the Lord granting me a free life to be used by Him, for Him, to address His concerns while He would take care of mine. I didn’t even have to ask for my concerns – they were taken care of. To ask for mine would be to be preoccupied and therefore less than perfectly available for His concerns. “Father, Your will be done in earth, not mine; Yours, as it is in Heaven. Yes, amen.”

ParticleIslam, Allah, Muhammad, the Koran, and the Hadith

In a video produced by Stan Johnson’s The Prophecy Club, Avi Lipkin spoke of the nature and agenda of Islam. According to him, Islam believes Jesus will return as a Muslim and will destroy all Jews and Christians unless they serve Muhammad. They believe all Jews must be exterminated. Jews and Christians are together called the “people of the book,” one people. They claim Jesus will destroy all churches and synagogues. These things are recorded in the Hadiths – the Muslim oral law – which are there for anyone to access for themselves.

Allah is the pagan moon god (hence the crescent), the war god of the heathen in Saudi Arabia. He is a god of the sword, the spear, and the bow and arrow. Muslims aim for one world government under Islam, devoted to Allah and Muhammad.

Avi said that Steve Emerson has a death sentence on him (fatwa) for exposing the true nature and agenda of Islam, as expressed in a movie he made, likely Jihad in America, 1994, including clips of secret Muslim meetings in America. In many places in the world, Muslims are slaughtering both Jews and nominal Christians.

As I read the Quran, I find that the laws of Allah are conveniently conditional. One can kill, commit adultery, rape, commit pedophilia, and beat wives, even if there is no evidence or proof of guilt against the victims, all by sanction of the Quran and the Hadiths.

ParticleNovember 10, 1999

Here it is, November 10th again, and though there seems to be no noteworthy event, I did speak some meaningful things to Marilyn. There was an abiding sense in me that all was done. I recalled last November 10th, wherein I knew I was done with the prophecy, and that it ended a human gestation period of nine months or 40 weeks, counting back to February 10th, as explained. As well, the Lord had notified me on several occasions and ways that all was finished.

Reminded of these things, I saw that I was a newborn infant, now a year old. I saw that just as Satan had disputed over Moses’ body, so the dragon waited for me, seeking to devour me the moment I came forth, but as the man child is caught up to Heaven, so have I been taken by the Lord and am made safe from the synagogue of Satan that came to derail the spiritual development occurring with me.

Even Penny Mills said something happened on November 10, 1998. The Mills came eight days after Day 777. Five weeks after Day 777, the Mills and Knorrs came with Trudy Lazet (the troubled woman who had been abused and abandoned by her husband), at which time I told them this was the Coming of the Lord and the Day of His Gathering. I told them the sign of the Son of man was the laying down of the life, which I was doing for them. Three days later, Lois had a vision of Les and Gene lassoed tight, back-to-back, and helpless.

More dates: The day came (Day 846) when Marilyn declared to Les and Gene, “I stand with Victor.” This day was 88 days back to another major visit on Day 758 with Les, 88 days forward to another with Les on Day 933 (including those dates would total 176 days – 2 X 88). Day 846 is 280 days (70 X 4 or 40 X 7) back to April 12 when they first came.

Four hundred and ninety (7 X 70) days after February 6, 1998, on Day 990, Jonathan had a prophecy and vision expressing that all was returning to God. The following day, I had the vision of the man slain, and a bundle rising from the grave and taken up into Heaven.

ParticleThe Man Child

All these things point to the birth of the man child, as recorded in Revelation 12. He now waits, grows, and develops. How long would it be? I didn’t know and it didn’t matter. Suffice it to say that, in Christ, I would rule over the nations with a rod of iron (the Truth). I do have a new name; I eat of the hidden manna; I am granted to sit on my Lord’s throne; I am made a pillar in the Temple of my God and shall no more go out; I shall not be hurt by the second death.

The Lord said, “You’ll not be dying. Will you believe Me?” – “I will not blot out his name out of the Book of Life,” is what that is saying. The Lord does confess me before His Father and the angels in Heaven. That explains why I am so hungry and zealous to confess His Name before all men. I now have the Morning Star, the ushering in of a new day. It is morning. I eat of the Tree of Life, which is in the presence of God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

ParticleLois’ Vision: I Rising from Altar and Gathering People

On November 4th or 5th, 1999, Lois had a vision wherein she saw me rise from an altar upon which I had been lying, and I began to, literally, with my hands, gather people. She received on November 10th, around the time of this vision, that the lying in state was done. On the 12th, she received the same as I, yet independently of me, that all was done. We have received confirmation on a few matters this way. She also received that she was to declare the deliverance of the Lord, that she was to shout it. Yes.

ParticleMariko Writes of Visions

On November 10th, Mark handed me a letter from Mariko, which he translated. She was lost and confused, not knowing what to do with herself in Japan. In her struggles, she had a vision wherein she saw Mark with his back to her. He was steadily walking away from her. She tried catching up, but in vain, thinking, “I guess this is it; Mark will be separated from me.” Then suddenly, she saw the two of them in a wedding scene and thought, “This is weird. How can I marry Mark who was separated from me?” She wrote it off as imagination.

She was determined to wait on the Lord to see what He would have her do with her life. She apologized to Mark for often hurting him, thanked him for everything, said that she would not forget him, and said that she was praying for everyone at the farm.

ParticleTrevor a Constant Vexation

Trevor was a great vexation – Mr. Self-Gratification – and the enemy knows his quarry. Months before, Nathan asked Trevor if he was going to leave the farm. Arnold Willms also questioned Trevor. Satan smells weakness and tries it. Some stand and some don’t. I feared Trevor was utterly consumed with himself, possessed with self-gratification. Unless the Lord did something, he was vulture meat – Mr. Vanity Incarnate. Few have I known to be so focussed on serving and glorifying themselves; Trevor was a legend in his own mind, seeking praise and adulation, ready to marry anything, skirt or no skirt.

ParticleConfession of Gathering for Myself

I had gathered for my own sake. I preached and witnessed to build my own kingdom, to have power over others and glory and honor of them. I have prayed, labored, and fasted to control, to take pleasure, to be heard.

Even now, as I went out to witness, it was with the hope that people would come and serve me and my interests, that they might work on the farm and provide for me. I hoped that they would gather around me. I was so ashamed of this but didn’t know what to do. “May the Lord grant me a pure heart, one that is to truly serve Him in all piety, holiness, righteousness, and truth.

ParticleMark Humbled in Montreal and Given a Promise

Mark gave a presentation in Montreal and reported that he was severely criticized by feminist chairwomen. I told him that whereas the world could criticize him in failing according to their standards and on their grounds, the day would come when they would again attempt to fault him, this time unjustifiably, and he would turn the tables on them. In a setting where it would be said, “Nobody does that sort of thing, it’s very impolite, entirely out of etiquette, etc.” he would be standing and judging them. It would be his turf the next time, even though it be a setting of the world.

Editor’s Note: Over the years since this time in 1999 (I write now in 2015), we’ve learned that Mark highly exaggerated everything. His mother would often say, “Whatever comes from Mark, cut it in half, then in half again.” We see that now.

ParticleAnother Bout of Self-Abhorrence

I was experiencing abhorrence for the person I had been all my life. There seemed to be no line between my life before Christ and after. I was equally ashamed of both periods and had, I suppose, more reason for shame in the period after receiving the Spirit.

But was I not forgiven? Why all this shame and abhorrence now? Was I back in the flesh, dealing in its ways? For example, if there were legal problems with the neighbors, did I resort to prayer or police? Recently, the police.

Did I resort to turning the other cheek or did I return railing? Railing, apparently, as I angrily blasted Den Hertog for cutting the branches on our trees out of season, without permission. If my neighbor appeared mad, did I think of demonic possession and exorcism or at least binding the spirits as a solution, or did I think of mental illness as the problem and medical treatment as a solution? The latter, apparently.

Had unbelief taken over, recapturing me? It appeared that I was now left with nothing, not even faith. Yet things did happen that strongly argued otherwise. Nor did they proceed only from me as though out of self-justification, but from others, as well.

ParticleTerrible Troubling

On the morning of November 16th, I awoke terribly troubled over two things:

One, the way I was during all my existence right up to my involvement in the farm and the wicked ways in which I conducted myself – paying poorly, hiring poorly, stingy, demanding, wasting, blind, stupid, foolish, hasty, ignorant, arrogant, and more. Also there was all my past life before that – it was one and the same person.

Two, given the things we heard happening and the stories we red about how Revenue Canada and Health Canada were terrorizing innocent people and farmers, and how they were in bed with despotic multinational corporations bent on controlling the world, I thought: “Shall we lose everything?

If we were to lose all, it was not because of wrongdoing, but for righteousness’ sake that I wanted to lose it. Were we selfish and uncharitable? Were we focusing on this world – food, organic agriculture, and physical welfare – instead of on the Lord? While the Lord was destroying the old, what were we doing? Were we trying to keep and restore it? If so, we would lose; we would be sorely disappointed, indeed, devastated.

I discussed these things with Lois. I realized I could only see myself as I’d been because God had wrought a deliverance in me.

Now what kind of deliverance? It was the wolf and the lamb of my vision now at peace. It was the carnal man seeing himself for what he has been and still is, but for the grace of God. The grace of God came to reconcile the carnal man with the spiritual man. The wolf wasn’t destroyed, nor was it changed to a lamb, but its habits and appetites were changed miraculously so that it agreed with the lamb and now sought the lamb’s welfare. The first Adam is not destroyed, is not changed to another being, but is changed in desire, appetite, attitude, and habit.

When that change comes, the first Adam, for the first time, abhors the way he has been. Nor will he forget the way he was, at least for a time on earth while he deals with others, mercifully, because remembering the way he was.

However, it seemed to me the first Adam must eventually forget, if he’s to have pure joy and peace. To remember the past is to have torment. Self-abhorrence must end sometime. Yes, the memory of that man in the way that he was will eventually fade away. “I will remember their sins no more.” If the change is eternal, substantive, and miraculous, there need be no reminder forever of the evil that once was.

Particle – How Forceful Are Right Words

I wondered if there was a confession and apology coming to the Mills, Knorrs, Ogdens, and Knelsens. Had I been the “man of sin” addressing and condemning them? Had they been the prophesied servants of God sent to deliver Marilyn of her tares? Had we sent them away beaten? Did judgment therefore await us? Were they right after all?

Les did see about Marilyn and Sean. Gene did speak of a mixture of law and grace with me, which I think I saw. Mark Ogden did see a problem with Marilyn. Barny did say I was “consumed with rejection.” Les and Gene did say that Harvest Haven was a Babylonish work. Gene did say I wouldn’t be dying. All these things have I seen, struggled with, and I couldn’t argue with them.

And…

Erin Schipper parted with the forbidden partner.

Mark and Amanda were experiencing problems of all sorts – a chastening?

Trudy was now working on her own and accountable, instead of being a dependent – I had written to her to begin to apply herself instead of depending on others.

On the other hand…

Abby Lynn‘s foray (Gene’s daughter) with her boyfriend fizzled, but her worldly pursuits continued to complicate matters for them all.

Gene exhibited horrible darkness and tried raising up rebellion against me by Lois, Sean, and Trevor.

Barny was vicious and putrid in all his ways, unbelieving.

And I had things to say to all of them. I knew that the vision of my stepping on new territory and encountering entities hard to identify as friend or foe pertained to them and what the Lord had done.

It was done. The Lord did it, and we would soon see many and great things happening.

ParticleThe World Not Our Business

I told everyone at the farm it wasn’t for us to get involved in issues of the world and that we weren’t to criticize governments and other authorities for the perceived evils they practice on others. Hedges are upheld and removed by the Lord, as with Job, and what may appear to be utterly unjust and despotic may actually be well deserved or needful. We don’t know the whole story. We do know that the Kingdom of God reigns over all.

ParticleMarilyn’s Worship of Sean

A journal entry:

Marilyn admires Sean, worships all that he says, thinks, and does, but despises me. She knows us after the flesh, casting her lot with him. She deems to judge me after the appearance, rejecting the sovereignty and Lordship of Christ in me when the outward appears irrational and foolish. She worships Sean’s person as though always anointed and wise.

She will rejoice and be gleeful when she sees him dealing with me and prevailing when I am wrong and he is right on some minor point, and even when he is wrong and I am right. If he prevails in the flesh or in the spirit, she rejoices with him as though I am an alien or an enemy.

Never has there been the slightest pleasure or satisfaction in her when I have prevailed even in righteousness. In fact, her judgment is that I could or would never prevail relative to Sean. She views me as a castaway, a has-been, an old garment to be discarded. How prevalent is her disdain for me! My very breath is strange to her. I know what Job was talking about:

“My breath is hated by my wife, and I must beg to the sons of my mother’s womb” (Job 19:17 MKJV).

She defends herself, saying, “You don’t know what I think or feel.” But she will never say what she thinks or feels. “You won’t let me express myself,” is her reply. Are these not accusations and indictments on one as if he were utterly a son of Belial, a brute beast? She despises me so, denies it, contradicts herself, and retains her righteous indignation and right to judge me. Am I supposed to beg her to tell me what she’s thinking or feeling?

Pungent is Marilyn’s bitterness toward me – and toward God! How she contradicts herself! If I try to speak, she flares.

Yesterday, yet again, she stirred me up against others, this time Mark. She has often been wrong, yet she impassions me in her bitterness, which runs wild with her. But she masks it (unconsciously, it seems) with an appearance of piety, composure, wisdom, plaintive disposition, “justified” judgments, and criticisms.

She played Sean, asking, “Why do you want to take care of me? I have a husband; I can take care of myself.” She was fishing for words of conjugal, romantic affection and interest. How pitiful! How adulterous! How wicked! How treacherous! How bitter! How shameful! She is naked, even as I saw in the vision, and nobody has eyes to see her nakedness.

She is hearing things from her man of sin, who speaks to her. She hears her own heart. Much has she heard that is not from God, yet attributes it to Him. She is a wretched woman. Though she has had faith, wisdom, and understanding, yet now is she bitter, miserable, and naked. Who can understand? Who can reconcile these things?

I again and again think of these words and wonder at them:

“And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands like bands. Whoever pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her” (Ecclesiastes 7:26 MKJV).

She has had me in her steel grip ever since we married. No wonder her brother Les was so bitter and, once freed, disappeared for good. No wonder! I have Jezebel on my hands. Jezebel was beautiful. She tried to seduce Jehu with her beauty and charm. Marilyn’s beauty lies not in outward appearance, but in her schmoozy, flattering, meek, and gentle manner, along with her giggles, silly talk, and powers of appeal.

If all else fails, she breaks out in tears when she doesn’t get her way. Then we all fall for her and surrender. In her understanding and personable ways, she is powerful. Her power and control are perfectly hideous.

The Lord is delivering me from her, else I would not be seeing what I see. I perceive that the Lord is now granting me to escape from her.

How can such a bitter woman have faith and wisdom? But she does. And see 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. Many in the world have organizational skills and are able to size up people and situations. The problem is, Marilyn rules with these things rather than surrendering them to God; her gifts are unsanctified. Many in the world have active minds, accurate memories, and insights and greatly prosper, but to what end and to whose glory?

I have been profited by her gifts, but I’ve also been snared and banded, and it has been more bitter than death, even as the wise man said.

Sean is taken by her. I say, “Sean, take her. It’s your turn. I was a sinner taken by her. She’s yours! I’m free.” Yet there’s great sadness in this. A tragedy prolonged and/or repeated is not occasion for rejoicing at all. When I express these things, she goes into a pity party and horrible tantrums, raging, or she hardens herself and ignores me to prove me wrong. There are marks on the wall and broken laundry baskets to prove it. What a bitter, selfish woman!

Les, Penny, Gene, Mark, and Barny all saw these things. I also saw them before they came along, but was more occupied with what I saw of myself, and I also blamed myself for what Marilyn was like. But it isn’t so now. I see her, and God must do what He must do. I no longer take responsibility for her sin, except in that I must pay the price and let her do to me what she will, particularly concerning Sean.

She says I say these sorts of things because I’m hurting. Yes, I am hurting but that’s not why I’m saying them. I say them because I see them, apart from the influence of pain and rejection. But she uses this explanation or rationalization to escape culpability. If I speak out of pain rather than truth, then she doesn’t see herself as guilty.

She refuses to be wrong; she can’t bear it. She justifies herself before God, even as Job did. It is despicable and it angers me, yet I pity her. (See 1 Timothy 5:14-15; 2:11-15; 1 Corinthians 14:34-38; Titus 2:3-5.)

On the morning of November 26th, I called her to ask of things Sean had to say to her to help her. She said that I was less and less help to her and he was more and more. (Archie once prophesied in 1996 that I would decrease and Sean would increase.)

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