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PART EIGHT – Day 888 to Victory (cont.)

ParticleMark Benson Arrives

I picked Mark up at the bus depot; he arrived from Japan to be involved with the farm. Within two days, he fell ill, having eaten some cheese Marilyn had asked Lois to deal with two weeks earlier. Why would Lois not heed instruction? Time and time again, I found this neglect with her.

ParticleThe Virtue of Amway

If only Amway distributors got as excited about the Lord as they did about Rich De Vos, LOC, financial independence, vacations, time shares, fancy cars, and big houses!

If Amway was so interested in the environment and health, it would be teaching everyone to use baking soda, olive oil, rubbing alcohol, salt, vinegar, borax, lemon juice, and washing soda as cleaning and polishing agents, instead of “compassionately capitalizing” (referring to Rich De Vos’s book) on far more expensive and detrimental chemical cleaning agents.

According to Amway, Jesus should have come sponsoring people (perhaps particularly the poor) into a capitalistic organization full of compassion, teaching them all how to run an independent business out of their homes, reaching out to the whole world through a business vehicle. Instead, He called on them to lay down their lives, literally losing them in many cases, to be hated and persecuted by the world.

The believers’ first message was not, “Hey! We can get you financial independence and freedom, a wonderful home, car, vacations, and early retirement! We can get you family harmony!” But what was the message? “Repent! Deny yourself; take up the cross; forsake all – family, friends, possessions, and ambitions. Speak and preach the Truth; preach the Gospel.”

The rich young ruler could well have been an Amway Double Diamond or Crown Direct Distributor who was teaching many to have financial independence. He kept the Law from his youth, he said. That would have included loving both God and neighbor. Was he involved in “compassionate capitalism” or did he fall short of the glory of, and acceptance with, God because he didn’t have a networking business to share with others?

What emphasis Amway places on putting away a nest egg! Jesus spoke of just such a man whose granaries were full and who said, “I’ll build more and greater granaries and be set for life.” But what did God say to him? “You fool. This night will your soul be required. Then whose shall those goods be?”

Said Jesus, contrary to the business-, riches-, and security-minded:

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or, ‘What shall we drink?’ or, ‘With what shall we be clothed?’ For the nations seek after all these things. For your Heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow shall be anxious for its own things. Sufficient to the day is the evil of it” (Matthew 6:31-34 MKJV).

Amway says, “Lay up treasures.” Jesus says, Lay not up treasures.” Amway says, “Family is important.” Jesus says, “Forsake family” (Matthew 10:37-38). Amway says, “Enjoy life by gain.” Jesus says, “Lose your life for My sake and you’ll find it” (Matthew 10:39).

If Amway people were to admit they are Gentiles (unbelievers), fine, but they preach prosperity in the Name of God and Jesus Christ, so contrary to what He lived and taught. Not good, not good at all.

ParticleMarilyn’s Spiritual State

The first thing Mark had to say soon after arriving was about Marilyn. He saw her as defensive and clinging to life. He saw that it wasn’t about Sean, but about what she was worshipping, which wasn’t God; it was something she wanted. When he confronted her, she immediately pontificated about how we need to look to the Lord. She justified herself, insisting on having her cake and eating it, too – having the Lord and making a display of serving Him and seeking after His will, yet retaining her own agenda of fulfillment, happiness, and being loved.

Marilyn had said she wanted so much to be loved, accepted, parented, and comforted. She was so insecure, possibly the fruit of her mother, Laura, leaving home when Marilyn was twelve. She confessed she had been afraid I would one day abandon her, the tiniest thought of which has never entered my mind.

At that age of twelve, with a father who was incapable of order and discipline, she took over the household. Laura’s departure traumatized Marilyn’s father, John. Perhaps Marilyn had little respect for authority because of the failure of authority figures in her life. Laura accused John of sexual perversion, bestiality no less. He also had a terrible temper. With her mother abandoning her responsibility of nurturing her children, how could Marilyn have confidence in authority, even parents?

With constant tears, Marilyn prayed to the Final Authority to bring her mother back to them, and when it didn’t happen, she renounced Him. “There’s no God,” Marilyn bitterly declared. She decided she needed to take control and be the final authority in their home and in her life in general. This could explain how things had to be her way or nothing with us.

But that’s all psychoanalysis, which, by experience, I’ve found serves little, if anything, to address and solve spiritual problems.

I must acknowledge that Marilyn was intelligent and had perception and understanding in many and diverse matters. So often, though not always, she was right and I was wrong in judgment. This compelled me to heed her advice, sometimes unwisely. However, Marilyn’s mistake was that she usurped the authority because of her abilities.

The Lord once revealed to me concerning Kerri that it isn’t the knowledge and ability a person has, but what one does with it that counts. Should Paul McCartney be King of England because of his musical abilities? The Scripture says that gifts bring men before kings. It doesn’t say that gifts qualify one to be king.

Marilyn made herself king/lord/husband/head with her gifts of intelligence, organizational and manipulative skills, tenacity, and strong will. She defiled herself, her marriage, and all those with whom she had to do. And Sean ate her dung with her.

I saw visions and prophecies of her being right on. While she agreed with positive points of those spiritual manifestations or revelations concerning her, she rejected the negative. One can’t pick and choose; either the prophecy is of God or it isn’t, whether positive or negative.

ParticleHopes Deferred on Agreeable Neighbors

When our Calvinist, Dutch Reform neighbors, the Den Hertogs, found out we didn’t attend formal church, Chris denounced us, walking out in a huff, sarcastically wishing us a “good evening.” I wrote him a note but decided not to give it to him, considering him too brutish to understand:

We were accused, tried, convicted, and condemned by a churchman for not going to church. Is it any wonder we don’t go to church? If you are the better part of churchgoers, or even the average, is there not very good reason for us not to go?

You say you don’t judge? You don’t even know why we don’t go. If we quote Scripture, you say we can make the Bible say anything. What do you make it say? Or do you claim to interpret it properly while we interpret it erroneously? Who are you to judge? You don’t even know the Scriptures.

You say there are all-weather friends and fair-weather friends [he was fond of trite expressions]. Into which category should we place you?

Meeting him later, I asked him if he could accuse me of any sin (the Bible says nothing about going to church services). He admitted he couldn’t. I asked him how it was we offended him. He replied, “You were too religious.” I recalled mentioning God.

The Den Hertogs were faithful in dressing formally and attending Sunday services regularly. Here was a fellow who scorned me for not going to church and scorned me for mentioning God. Go figure. I learned that there are those who think one ought not to talk about God unless he is a “minister” or goes to church. So much for Dutch and Christian Reform faith that would allow such attitudes to prevail in their midst.

Particle – God’s Law in the Legal Profession

In April 1999, Stockwell Day had a far greater conflict with Lorne Goddard than we had only months before when Mr. Goddard sought to legally persuade Lois’ son Jason against our counsel. As a minister of the Alberta government under Premier Ralph Klein, Mr. Day publicly criticized Lorne Goddard for defending convicted pedophile Kevin Valley’s right to possess child pornography. Goddard tried but failed to apply the British Columbia ruling that struck down child porn possession laws as unconstitutional. Day wrote Red Deer’s, The Advocate, saying Goddard went well beyond his rightful duties as a lawyer representing his client when he reportedly said he actually believed the pedophile had the right to possess child porn.

Because this issue was before the courts, Premier Klein criticized Mr. Day for making these statements; however, the Premier quoted Mr. Day as saying Mr. Goddard’s views went beyond his duties as a lawyer. Mr. Day also took issue with the fact that Goddard made his comments while serving as a trustee of the Red Deer school board, something Mr. Day found unacceptable and immorally influential towards young people. I agreed.

Consequently, Mr. Goddard, true to our experience of him, sued Mr. Day for $300,000 in general damages and $300,000 in punitive damages for defamation. So which is more important – how one looks in the eyes of others and how he prospers financially, or how one influences the society he presumes to serve? Which is more important – a good name at a fair cost, or a big name at any cost? Which is more important – upholding rights to be free to do evil in the name of freedoms and rights, or promoting and upholding valuable social responsibilities?

I didn’t care if the letter of the law did find for Mr. Goddard. I saw Mr. Day as genuinely interested in defending morals for society’s good, while Mr. Goddard was out for a name and a buck for himself, no matter the moral implications. God bless Mr. Day and give Goddard what is coming to him.

On December 22, 2000, there was a settlement out of court in Goddard’s favor for nearly $800,000. It cost Day $60,000 and the Alberta Government, we the taxpayer, paid the rest.

ParticleMariko Follows Mark

On May 14, 1999, Mariko Shinji arrived from Japan and asked to stay, saying there was peace at the farm. Peace? Wow! If what we had was peace, I wouldn’t want to see turmoil. She was after Mark, was she not? Were they meant to marry? I didn’t know.

ParticlePat Holt

I chanced on a garage sale where an elderly lady was selling her household goods. We got talking. She had been married to a doctor who suddenly left her, and she was apparently overwhelmed at her husband’s sudden action. She professed faith and attended Victory Christian Church.

She readily confessed she was financially in distress and needed whatever help she could get, that being a primary reason she was selling. She also began to speak of her faith. While she seemed to have a genuine conviction of Christ, I questioned her allegiance to a church I knew had nothing to do with Him and wondered why she was in her circumstances.

As I perused her sale goods, I found a used, lower quality 20-foot extension ladder. She was asking $70 for it, which I thought was high. She didn’t know the value of such things, except that she saw one somewhere for a higher price. I offered her $40, feeling a bit chintzy given her situation (I could have given her $100), but couldn’t bring myself to give her more.

I discovered later that a new ladder of similar quality, with rope and working pulleys, was selling for what she was asking for hers; however, I didn’t see the value of the ladder being the issue.

I was perplexed and concluded that Pat was in her circumstances for certain needful reasons and that I really shouldn’t attempt to alleviate them by charitable donation or generosity. Was I right or wrong? I struggled with the matter and even called to talk to her, but nothing came of our talk in terms of being any wiser as to what God was doing with her.

ParticleA False Prophecy?

One morning, it hit me square between the eyes that Marilyn’s prophecy was false. It would have to be if my written prophecy to her was true. When I considered the prophecy again at this point, I saw anomaly. The Lord doesn’t reveal a second husband while the first lives.

Why wouldn’t the Lord tell me directly He was taking me? He didn’t; in fact, He told me I would not be dying. Perhaps if I was a wicked man, He wouldn’t speak to me, but was I wicked before Him? Even Marilyn told me the Lord was taking me to a glorious calling, akin to that of Moses, no less. Was that what He does with wicked men? If not wicked, why would God not speak to me directly? And why would He tell me His plan in the next world? If my calling was to be likened to that of Moses’ calling in the afterlife, did He tell Moses what his would be? It is not heard that God does things that way.

But how does one explain the undeniable dates surrounding Marilyn’s prophecy? Were these the power, signs, and lying wonders of the man of sin, of Satan, with all deceivableness of unrighteousness to deceive, if possible the elect?

Besides, Paul, Mark, and I heard that Marilyn’s prophecy had already come to pass. Had I not died? Did not Marilyn “marry” Sean? I was taken and Marilyn set her affections on another man. Was this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Trevor also spoke saying to Marilyn and to me, “You are both right,” when she was saying I would die and I was saying I wouldn’t be dying. However, none of us saw a ministry in my life like that of Moses at the mount of transfiguration. And this much I knew: I still had to let this circumstance all happen.

ParticleMarilyn’s Contradiction

Marilyn declared I was a prophet and that my prophecies to others and of various matters were true, but when it came to those prophecies of her that she didn’t like, she said they weren’t of God.

She declared that I was a man of God, righteous in Him, and that He hadn’t cast me aside, yet she rejected me for a man young enough to be her son, and that in the presence of all, despite my protests.

She declared I was still her husband, yet she wouldn’t obey or submit to me as her head, according to Scripture, and declared she chose Sean over me as her husband, not that she submitted to him, either, from the reports I got.

When we discussed things at the farm, she immediately contradicted me before all and, not only so, but became angry and argumentative with me. I could do nothing right in her sight, and Sean could say, think, and do no wrong.

She complained that we had no intimacy, yet sang Sean’s praises and how they had a love she and I had never known. How was I supposed to be intimate with her?

Why would the Lord say He had been waiting to hear me say I would serve Him with my infirmities, if there was no call or need for service with infirmity? And why was I still here nearly 15 months after accepting my infirmities and serving Him?

If, as Marilyn said, she and Sean were supposed to be the model display to the world of a marriage, how was it she said to him, “Your life is in my hands; you have no choice but to do as you’re told”? Was this the foundation of a marriage of love, wherein the husband is to do as the wife commands? What was this – the Romance of the Preying Mantis?

It was just revealed to me that the dung Marilyn and Sean were eating in the vision represented her bitter past. Dung is that which was passed. Bitterness is that of one eating their own dung; Marilyn hadn’t overcome her past.

Marilyn laid the onus on me for our conflict, saying, “You’re hurting and speaking out of your pain.” Yes, partially true, yet she justified herself as though not responsible for my pain. She carried her bitterness, hurt me, and then blamed me for our troubled relationship because I was hurt! She and Sean were in great wickedness, and all I could do was obey the Lord and let it all happen.

ParticleFlowers and Weeds

“You’re critical,” they say to me. Just as one can be wrongfully positive, so one can be rightfully negative or critical. If I go into a garden in need of dressing and keeping, what do I do if I want it to be a pleasant and productive one? I focus on the weeds to remove them. So I’m negative because I address the weeds? I should think that if one is essentially negative, he would leave the weeds and permit the garden to be overgrown with them. Negativity’s fruit would be the proof.

“But we are flowers, not weeds!” the weeds protest. Surely, thistles bloom, but it doesn’t make them desirable flowers.

“But one man’s weed is another man’s flower!” they cry. True, and when I work in God’s garden, He is the One Who decides what He wishes to keep and what to be taken away.

“Well,” they reply, “who are you to judge? Only God is judge!” God gives to His servants the prophets to judge between good and evil. And it’s the tares that protest my coming and my work because they’re the seed of the enemy trying to preserve themselves.

ParticleTension Increases at Harvest Haven

On May 29th, I came to the farm and found it to be so heavy and oppressive I wanted to leave. Lois was in a stew, Trevor was in his usual sulking mood, and Mariko was struggling with Mark. Marilyn said she received it was Lois’ turn for judgment and had a vision of Lois angry, fighting, and thrashing about.

Author’s Note: In April 2015, I note that this oppression became manifest two weeks after Mariko’s arrival on May 14, 1999. I hadn’t made the connection, partly because of everything else going on. More importantly, the Lord didn’t quicken this connection to me.

ParticleTalk with Mariko

On June 9th, Mariko came and spent some time at Moon River, staying the night. She and I had a talk. Without premeditation, I spoke to her of how lower life forms, against their wills, are consumed by the higher, thus becoming the form by which they are consumed, the forms being mineral, plant, animal, human, and Divine. As cows eat the grass that thus becomes the cow, so God reaches down to man, consumes him, and he becomes one with God.

I shared with her that life forms cannot will or accomplish being a higher life form and that if a form is not consumed from above, it reverts to those below. She was apparently moved by these things.

Marilyn received a prophecy for Mariko, saying, “I love you and I am with you. ”

Mariko left for Japan on June 19th; Mark was very emotional about it, though she seemed to take it without difficulty. I saw no faith in Mariko and didn’t feel it was God’s will at this time for them to marry. However, I felt the door must be left open and contact maintained, at least for the time.

Mariko’s father called on June 29th, perplexed about the situation between Mark and Mariko. He had hoped and expected they would marry.

Particle – Jonathan’s Vision: Lightning Bolts Headed Upward

On June 11, 1999, Jonathan had a vision of lightning bolts heading upward in darkness. He received a prophecy that everything was going back to the Lord. This day was Day 990, 490 days (7 X 70) after February 6, 1998, the day my 10-day fast ended, which was 11 years from the day when I had the vision at Paul’s of the star hitting the earth.

By the way, my fast ended 153 days before July 10th. Remember the number of fish in the net when the Lord told the disciples to cast the net on the other side of the boat? Why were the fish even counted? And why did they add up to 153? I don’t know.

ParticleVision: Great Man Struck Down, Tiny Body Raised Up

Early in the morning of June 12, 1999, I had a vision wherein I saw a tall, basically naked man, about 30-ish, fairly long hair (somewhat like da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man”). He was hit on the forehead by an object and slain. He fell backwards in a stiff, straight form, hard and final. I then saw him lowered into the deepest of graves by two straps, as they use for coffins. He was buried as he was when alive – nearly naked. The grave seemed to have no bottom, but I’m not sure.

I then saw a small bundled body (as they bury paupers in backward countries) about a foot long, going up to the highest height possible in Heaven, yet in bundled state.

I believe this vision spoke of me, my death, and the humble beginning of a new life. This day (June 12, 1999 – Day 991) is the first day after 490 days (70 X 7) following February 6, 1998 when my 10-day fast ended, 11 years and a day after I had the vision at Paul’s of the star hitting the earth.

Reminder: All these days are coordinated with Marilyn’s prophecy of September 24, 1996 wherein I was told I would be taken and would have a ministry like that of Moses. The Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) that year was September 23rd, beginning in the evening and progressing to the evening of the 24th.

Therefore, the prophecy was on the Day of Atonement, or the tenth day of the 7th month of the sacred Hebrew calendar, according to the Scriptures.

ParticleA Renewed Resignation

I saw now that Marilyn and Sean had firmly chosen to be with each other. As I visited the farm I saw them trying to conceal their feelings and their conduct with each other from me but it was obvious, even as Les saw it. All the others had constantly seen it. I had been publicly stripped of all things.

I lost the will to love her. She had asked, “What do you want from me?” Indeed, what did I want? Did I want her to say, “I no longer love Sean. I love you”? But my mind and heart seemed to be telling me I no longer wanted her. Two years before, I would have wanted her to return, but not now. I lost the will to give in order to get.

I wanted to say, “Sean, you want her? Have her. She’s yours.” Surely, if not for Jonathan, I would have left long ago. Idolatry of Jonathan? Why did I not leave her for the Lord? Yet I suspected the Lord wanted me to hang in there for her, though I lost any will or desire to do so. It was scary.

Particle – Inguinal Take Two

On June 17th, Jonathan was again taken to hospital for a hernia operation, this time on the other side. The surgeon, Dr. Gome, said it was a rare thing to have an inguinal hernia on both sides. Both operations were performed and concluded satisfactorily. Where was the Lord’s healing, for which we had asked? No miracles here, but there was the provision, as it was.

ParticleDon’t Try to Understand

I must now mention something we were told within months, if not weeks, of the time Marilyn received the prophecy in September 1996. We were constantly debating whether or not I would die, whether literally or otherwise, when, how, and why. We debated details and apparent contradictions. We spent hours and hours, often getting into arguments and quagmires of thought and getting nowhere.

Several times we were told by the Spirit of God to go on with the duties at hand and to not try to figure these things out. We were told to not try to understand. Everything was hidden from us with purpose. We needed to believe that, and often we did, but often we forgot to do so. Forgetting, inevitably there was trouble.

For some time, I believed the Lord was taking me, even as Marilyn heard, but not literally, not by physical death. Marilyn was ever adamant it was to be a physical death.

ParticleMarilyn’s Machinations

Marilyn received that all those at the farm were in rebellion and sedition toward Sean. Yet she indulged in utter witchcraft (rebellion) and usurpation of authority, with brashness and without apology. She courted Sean before all. She was thus as Jezebel, teaching the Lord’s servants to commit fornication and to sacrifice unto idols (Revelation 2:20).

I had been intimidated by her violent reactions and shamed by her tears. No more. Her reactions were not justified and her tears were not the tears of Hannah or Leah, but of Delilah. She was full of contradiction and power, able to move and deceive anyone with her charms. I had been deceived for a quarter century.

Perhaps I bore guilt for waiting so long and allowing all this, but I was persuaded of two things: One, that these things had to have their time; and, two, that we would make it through. I believed it is God’s will and doing.

I was now resolved to risk losing all with Marilyn, even to the point of her leaving, if I needed to speak. I would no longer be intimidated by her or fear to lose anything or incur her horrible wrath. But I couldn’t speak without good and just cause.

Particle – Saints Slain by Sinners, for Sinners

An astonishing, yet profoundly simple truth hit me. God poured out His wrath upon His Son through those for whom it was meant. If the Son had reacted and rejected the wrath, those for whom it was intended would have had no hope of salvation. Because He suffered it by them, their salvation was sure. God, by children of wrath, is pouring out upon His own children the wrath meant for the children of wrath. His sons and daughters serve as substitutes, as vicarious, sacrificial lambs at the hands of their persecutors for their persecutors’ sakes.

Warning: This doesn’t mean saints should surrender to death or abuse anytime or indiscriminately. There is a time appointed, even as Jesus didn’t allow His enemies to take Him until His time.

ParticleLetter to My Mother

On May 7, 1998, I wrote a letter to my mother but didn’t send it until June 30, 1999. It was a letter attempting a reconciliation of sorts, not to cross or abolish spiritual barriers, which would be impossible, but to try and clear up misunderstandings and make any possible amends. My opening paragraph:

“I come in peace, hoping that one day there will be peace and reconciliation between us. I wonder if I can finally express my heart to you after 50 years.”

I went on to review my childhood, particularly as specifically involving her. I bared my heart. I closed with:

“Perhaps one day, whether in this life or in the next, the Lord will see fit to reconcile us to Himself and to each other so that we may truly know a meaning as never before to that expression, which I have found to be true on other occasions, ‘All is well that ends well.’ The Lord is the resurrection and the life. He makes out of nothing and brings back from the dead, performing the impossible. That is a wonderful truth offering sure hope for those who believe.”

ParticleLois’ Vision: I Speaking to Many People

The thought came to me to begin holding informal meetings locally with Bible study and open discussion on matters of life. In expressing my thoughts to Lois, she said she saw me speaking to a large group of people, without number. She saw me elevated, with my right hand stretched forth, and leaning towards them. She had the vision a couple of days before I talked to her, which would be approximately June 29, 1999.

Particle – Removing the Tares?

When Les and Penny had confronted Marilyn on what Les saw as an ungodly relationship between her and Sean, Marilyn denied there was anything. So Penny asked, “Just what is your relationship with Sean?”

“We are friends,” Marilyn replied. She couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth. She couldn’t bring the Lord into it, saying, “We are brother and sister in the Lord Jesus Christ,” for example. She couldn’t even say, “As owner of the farm, I’m teaching Sean to manage it.” She denied and lied. If the Lord was doing what she said He was doing, why the shame and the lies? I very much appreciated Penny’s question.

I wondered if my prophecy of the Lord sending His servants to remove the tares sown in Marilyn’s mind pertained to Les and Penny and company.

Particle – I Am Leaving

On July 5th, I told Jonathan I was leaving, that I couldn’t hold out for him any longer. He pleaded and cried. It was so hard. He seemed to be resigning himself to the possibility.

Marilyn was angry with me for it, saying my “yea should be yea and my nay, nay.” I think she was telling me that I should only tell him I was leaving if I meant it.

This I knew – if I perceived any determined unrepentance in her or a refusal to change, I would consider myself free of her and I would leave. The marriage vow was “for better or for worse,” but not “for good or for evil.”

(As I write this from my journal record, I don’t remember the occasion and feel quite bad that I did such a thing to Jonathan. Was I feeling sorry for myself? Was I looking for sympathy from him? I don’t remember. I didn’t follow through. If I meant it, what changed my mind? I don’t recall.)

ParticleTalking Behind Marilyn’s Back

I had many discussions about the trouble with Marilyn – with Paul, Kerri, Mark, and Lois. Marilyn told me she never talked behind my back as I did behind hers. Yet she talked love and marriage with another man and publicly declared her allegiance to him instead of me in front of my only acquaintances without telling me. My, how innocent and righteous! I didn’t deserve her!

ParticleThe Two Men of Bob Gregson’s Dream

I took a nap and awoke with a quickening that the two persons with the red and black roses in Bob Gregson’s dream were the two witnesses. I know I’d talked about that before and yet had to say, “Of course! Where have I been?” All this came on the heels of asking Marilyn to pray with me while I asked the Lord what was happening and what He was doing with me. Marilyn gave me a hug, saying she received that she was to comfort me until He came for me.

I recall hearing the words, “Two entities vying for power,” when asking the Lord what was going on during trying times with Marilyn. I initially assumed the words spoke of Marilyn and me. Then, I’d wondered if the two entities of Bob’s dream were not within me, the old and the new, one with the black rose and one with the red, both waiting for the Lord’s coming down the river.

ParticleBirds Have Brains

I watched an American goldfinch up close in the basement laundry window. It seemed to have a personality, an intelligence quite beyond what one expects. I’ve also watched fledgling waxwings making themselves familiar and comfortable with me. They were explorative, innocent, and naïve.

Young robins sure squawk for their food, demanding it of their parents who devote their lives to raising their young. What is sex, marriage, house-building, producing food or income for living, but one great scenario of propagation? We reproduce ourselves. Our existence seems mainly devoted to bringing others into existence after ourselves, in our image. A primary instruction God gave man in the beginning was to replenish the earth.

ParticleAngry Adversaries

Nathan and Chris drove into the farmyard. I wasn’t there at the time. Nathan came for his .22 rifle, which was registered in his name. He suddenly became very angry and nasty with Sean. Indeed, some were wondering if he might not use the gun. I notified Firearms about his short temper; they said they would put it on record.

Speaking to Chris later, he told me he had friends to financially assist him in suing us for work compensation and abuse. Chris settled down when I began to ask him a few questions for which he had no answers. I told him he had hurt me by taking off without warning, but that I was open to future talks and reconciliation.

He was hurting. His prime observation was that there was a great lack of love on the farm. He commended Marilyn, saying she cared and tried to help. Of Sean, Chris said he was arrogant, power hungry, knowing nothing.

There seemed to be nasty notions floating about in the boys’ heads, and I saw Archie as the instigator, not that Lois and Sean were by any means innocent.

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