Lois Benson’s Testimony

I was first drawn to the Lord at a time when I was empty, and tired of battling with fears and anxieties, with no resolution in sight. This was in 1973; I was around 28 years old, and married to an unbeliever, with two young sons, Trevor and Mark. As I began to believe, my nephew, Victor, and his wife, Marilyn, paid me a visit. Victor shared “The Four Spiritual Laws” (a tract) with me. Their visit was a surprise and an encouragement in the Lord.

One of my older sisters, Delores, was a believer, and we began to visit and talk about the things of the Lord. God was bringing another person into my life to witness of Him. I began to pray that I would truly know the Lord Jesus Christ. I prayed with anyone I heard giving a so-called altar call on radio or TV, searching for an answer.

Delores was attending the Baptist Church, and, one day, she was to be part of a great choir performing at the Billy Graham Crusade in Edmonton. She called me, insisting that I go with her and her family to the Crusade. I didn’t know what to do, so I told her I would call her back. As I went into the laundry room to finish my laundry, the Lord told me that I did not have to go anywhere, because He was with me.

“And then if any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or, lo, He is there; believe him not: For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall show signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect” (Mark 13:21-22).

Delores also gave me different religious books to read, some of which had truth. One day I went to a gospel bookstore to look for a Strong’s Concordance, and when I saw all the books, it was as though they were calling out, “I am God! Read me, I know God! Here is God! I am God!” It was a horrible scene, and I left with my concordance.

One morning during this time, I woke up and felt stronger. The awful feeling of anxiety was diminished and I knew that something had changed. I did not want to party any more; I was convicted of drinking and smoking and of being entertained by TV programs. I also wanted to read the Bible and I wanted to talk to others about what was happening. I joined a Bible study group. Howard, my husband, did not object to my doing so. He did, however, make the comment, “You are not the same woman that I married.” He was right; I was not. Things in me were definitely changing.

Within a short period of time, we were transferred to Stettler from Red Deer. The Bible study group I had attended in Red Deer contacted Esther Thomas of the Church of the Nazarenes in Stettler, and she invited me to their church. I went there for a time. As I grew, I was strongly convicted of my smoking, but I did not have the ability to quit on my own. One day, things came to a head; I could not take it anymore, and I begged the Lord to help me. I knew that if the Lord did not do something for me, I would go to the corner store and purchase a pack of cigarettes. The Lord gave me these verses:

“I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear unto me, therefore will I call upon Him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell got hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the Name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech You, deliver my soul. Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The LORD preserves the simple: I was brought low, and He helped me. Return unto your rest, O my soul; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living” (Psalms 116:1-9).

“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD” (Psalm 118:17).

Upon reading these, I was completely delivered from smoking.

When Victor’s younger brother, David, passed away in 1977, I went to the funeral with my sister, Delores, and her family. I had another chance to visit with Victor and Marilyn at the funeral. I related my experiences in the Lord to Victor, and he encouraged me to go on, telling me that there was more. He was referring to the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

Because the pastor spoke against this baptism, I knew that I could no longer remain in the Nazarene Church. I started going to the Pentecostal Church, because it was the only one that I knew of that spoke of the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

One evening, I burned my thighs, badly. During this time, we were in the process of building a new home, and Howard was very upset because he thought I was now unable to cook for the work crew that was coming over to help us the next day.

The Lord showed me these verses:

“And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them” (Act 19:11-12).

I asked a friend from the church, Yvonne Whitfield, to ask the pastor of the Pentecostal Church to pray over a handkerchief and bring it to me. She did so (the pastor was surprised by the request); we laid the handkerchief on my thighs and believed for my healing. The next day, I was on my feet and able to prepare the meals for the crew. Praise the Lord! He gave me the faith to believe and to seek Him for healing, according to His will.

My family did not accept Victor and Marilyn’s new life in the Lord; many times I heard how very strange they were, and no one would have anything to do with them. I wanted to find out the truth for myself, so when I had another opportunity to visit with Victor and Marilyn, I did so, and asked what was going on with them. Victor spoke to me about many truths and I was quite excited about it all. The things I heard totally contradicted what the churches were teaching.

The next day, the Lord spoke to me and said: “You are going to go through a very hard time, but you are not to fear, as I will not leave you or forsake you.”

I then talked to the pastor of the Pentecostal Church about what Victor had shared with me. He warned me to stay away from Victor because he was “dangerous.” I wrote a letter of rejection to Victor and went my own way. However, I began to see that there were things in the Pentecostal Church that I could not accept. When I questioned the pastor on these matters, he responded as if I questioned his authority.

One day, an older lady, Marge Harris, and I prayed that the Lord would show us what it means to worship Him in spirit and in truth. We received that we were to come out of organized religion and worship Him.

When I related this to Delores, she reacted, saying, “Who will be your head?” I replied, “The Lord will be my Head.”

Marge Harris left the Pentecostal Church, but she went back to her husband’s church (Church of God), her obedience not being complete. Spiritually, she died. I left the Pentecostal Church, and came out of the organized church systems altogether, being given by the Lord to rely solely on Him.

It was during this time that Jason, my third son, was born.

I received a letter from Victor that warned me of a coming storm. At the time of receiving the warning, life seemed pretty good. We were out of debt, and were in relatively good health. Howard and I talked, acknowledging all of this, but we gave the credit to ourselves and not to the Lord. No sooner had we done this, the storm hit. We had peace, and then sudden destruction came.

“For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night. For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction comes upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape” (1Thessalonians 5:2-3).

Howard began drinking heavily (alcohol had been one of his problems) and I suspected that he also had a problem with drugs, and having affairs with other women. We were unable to talk to him. He was being hardened to deal with me; judgment had come. Howard and I no longer lived as man and wife. He moved into the room above our garage, and he encouraged me to return to work, preparing me for his departure. I was running as fast as I could in the other direction, not wanting to face or deal with any of it.

I was at work on the midnight shift when Howard moved out. He left us a note saying that he could no longer live with me and he had to find his happiness. What a dark and terrible day that was, my fears being realized!

The boys and I would read the Scriptures together before they went to school and there was one in particular that strengthened us. It was Psalm 91:

Psalm 91:1-16
(1) He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
(2) I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.
(3) Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
(4) He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings shall you trust: His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
(5) You shall not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flies by day;
(6) Nor for the pestilence that walks in darkness; nor for the destruction that wastes at noonday.
(7) A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come nigh you.
(8) Only with your eyes shall you behold and see the reward of the wicked.
(9) Because you have made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, your habitation;
(10) There shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come nigh your dwelling.
(11) For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.
(12) They shall bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
(13) You shall tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shall you trample under feet.
(14) Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he has known My Name.
(15) He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
(16) With long life will I satisfy him, and show him My salvation.

One morning, Lois Moyes, my bank manager’s wife, dropped by for a visit. She confirmed that Howard was going out with other women, and said to me, “It is time to pay your dues.” These words were prophetic and she did not understand what significance they would hold.

As the marriage continued to fall apart, my sister, Delores, tried to help me, but found it hopeless. Not knowing what to do, she got Victor’s number and said, “You’d better call him.” I did and Victor was sent to bring us the truth. The truth, however, was not what I thought it was going to be. The truth was about me and my sins, dealing with my nature, and what I was all about! The Lord would require obedience and not sacrifice. The Holy Spirit is given to those who obey Him. Victor and Marilyn prayed that I would receive the Spirit.

The Lord brought everything that I had done in secret out into the open. I was a whore. Because of my fear and suspicions of Howard, I would openly flirt with other men to provoke him. Because of my thoughts of lust, I was guilty of committing adultery. Before I was married, I was guilty of hurting many men, leading them on and then dropping them without explanation. I was a masturbator, a liar, and a thief, taking from everyone and giving nothing. Judgment had come and it was time to pay my dues, and those prophetic words were coming to pass. It was time to face up and to ‘fess up. Not only about how I was as a wife, but also as a mother. I was very strict with the boys; it was “obey or else.” My look would have been enough, let alone words or spankings. I had no regard for their feelings; I was very brutish. Victor had a vision of a hairy arm of unbelief that pushed the truth aside; that arm was mine.

Howard returned only on weekends to baby-sit the boys while I was at work. I would often call Victor and Marilyn to try to talk to them but all I could do was cry. Victor gave me the words, “Through much tribulation you enter into the Kingdom of God.” We had been married 17 years and I was faced with the reality of, “What now?” and, “Who am I?” Those were the questions I asked Victor one day and he answered, “Marry us.” Victor was speaking of a union with the Lord and the Lord was the secret place of the Most High. We would learn that the Lord was our refuge and fortress, our God, and in Him we should trust.

Around this time I had a dream from the Lord. I was in a dark, dusty, dirty pit, standing on a flat deck filled with dung; I was moving the dung about, trying to clean it up with a putty knife and getting nowhere. There were others doing the same. I tried many times to climb out of the pit, but the walls, which were as peat moss, just crumbled and gave way. At one time, I looked up and saw an arched, opened door. It was bright, clean and fresh outside that door and I wanted to go there. But try as I may, I could not get to the door. Then suddenly, without knowing how, I was out the door and running on fresh green pasture. Outside of the pit was just as I had seen it to be: clean and bright. As I was running, I passed Mark, one of my sons, and I wondered how it was that I could run faster than Mark.

“I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD” (Psalms 40:1-3).

During the years that we were going through our separation, I would sometimes visit Victor and Marilyn in Lethbridge. One visit that I remember in particular was when Victor’s brother, Archie, and his family moved to Lethbridge from Toronto. Archie’s family was in a desolate state, in need of direction and deliverance. Victor told Archie that he would have to do as he was told and Archie agreed. One evening as we were sitting in the living room, Archie suddenly became full of fear and cried out, repeatedly, “Don’t let them get me!” In his spirit, he saw nine men in black business suits standing around him and they wanted him. The spirits spoke to Victor and said, “You’re not going to tell us what to do.” Victor immediately got up, laid hands on Archie, and addressed the spirits, commanding them to name themselves. He then commanded that they leave in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Archie had fasted 16 days before he came to Lethbridge, and 16 devils were cast out, 14 that evening, and two more in the few days to come!

I had heard and seen many pastors trying to cast out devils, heal, or whatever, but nothing ever happened. This was the real thing. They had to obey the authority of the Lord in Victor. Archie was set free and was warned directly by the Lord that if he did not obey Him, walk in obedience, and open up (not withholding things inside), not only would those devils return, but they would bring others with them.

As for myself, each day was a battle; I felt like my insides were being turned inside out and I didn’t know up from down. I was afraid of losing custody of the boys, afraid of divorce, and afraid of facing myself. Howard wanted a divorce (the very thing I feared). He wanted everything. He wanted all the possessions, the boys, and he wanted me out of the picture.

I found out years later from Jason that Howard planned to have me killed or at least have me committed to a mental institution. He even had the support and help of two local police officers (RCMP), who often harassed me on my way to work for the midnight shift. I came to believe through all of this that if I was to be killed, nothing would prevent it. On the other hand, if I was to live, the whole police force and their armies could not succeed. As the truth came, so did correction. As the fires burned, so came freedom and strength.

We went through mediation, and the boys were subjected to a psychiatrist, who found Mark and Trevor quite sane and intelligent, contrary to Howard’s assertions of mental manipulation on my part. Still, the Amicus Curiae (“Friend of the Court”), Penny Lazarowich, favored Howard receiving custody of all three boys. I went to the courts to try to stop Jason’s visits with Howard, because of Howard’s adulterous and ungodly lifestyle, which he committed even in Jason’s presence (Jason was in his preteens). Nothing worked. Everything was going against me.

Because mediation was not working for us, I asked the boys whom they wanted to be with. I wanted them, and not the courts, to choose. Trevor and Mark chose to stay with me, and Jason chose to go with his father (and Howard took Jason to spite me). Trevor and Mark did not choose to stay with me because I was a good mother (or anything of the sort), but because the Lord was doing the dividing. If it had been otherwise, they would have gone with Howard.

As we prayed for direction, the Lord told me to give Howard what he was after. Victor told me during this time that my youngest son, Jason, was not a believer, that he was not of us, and that I would have to surrender him to Howard. I continued to hold on to him, however, in hopes that something would change. Victor’s words were like a knife cutting through me. I did not want to face losing Jason. I had a vision of a monkey wrench being thrown into the picture. It was revealed to me that this vision represented Jason, and I had to let him go. Howard knew of my closeness to Jason and was surprised that I would give him up.

Giving Jason up, the deadlock was broken. The older boys choosing to be with me, Howard’s lawyers were confounded and suddenly it was over.

Because Howard and Jason were gone, however, I went into a deep pit of self-pity. I couldn’t cope, and had trouble even doing simple tasks. One morning, as I was struggling to face the day, the Lord rebuked me. He said that I had two boys who needed me and chose to stay with me, and that I had better get up and look after them. I was not to mourn over the one that chose to leave with his father.

I was reminded of what happened to David when Absalom was killed.

“But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son! And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, You have shamed this day the faces of all your servants, which this day have saved your life, and the lives of your sons and of your daughters, and the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines; in that you love your enemies, and hate your friends. For you have declared this day, that you regard neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased you well. Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto your servants: for I swear by the LORD, if you go not forth, there will not tarry one with you this night: and that will be worse unto you than all the evil that befell you from your youth until now” (2 Samuel 19:4-7).

Howard and I divorced, and Trevor, Mark and I moved to Lethbridge. Jason and Howard lived in Bashaw, Alberta.

Shortly upon our arrival in Lethbridge, I fell off a ladder while painting, and broke my wrist. The doctor’s report stated I would have to have my wrist fused. This would have made my wrist inflexible. As the doctor showed me the X-rays, the Lord told me that my wrist would be all right; it would not be the same, but I would still be able to use it. The X-ray showed the complete separation of my hand from my wrist, and all the broken pieces of bone in between. Because of what I was given by the Lord, I knew I did not need to have it fused. I sought the Lord on why it happened. He showed me that I was not trusting in Him but in myself, and I was rushing. He also gave me the following Scripture:

Psalms 51:1-19
(1) <To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.> Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of Your tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
(2) Wash me throughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
(3) For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
(4) Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight: that You might be justified when You speak, and be clear when You judge.
(5) Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
(6) Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part You shall make me to know wisdom.
(7) Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
(8) Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which You have broken may rejoice.
(9) Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
(10) Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
(11) Cast me not away from Your presence; and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
(12) Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation; and uphold me with Your free Spirit.
(13) Then will I teach transgressors Your ways; and sinners shall be converted unto You.
(14) Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, You God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
(15) O Lord, open You my lips; and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
(16) For You desire not sacrifice; else would I give it: You delight not in burnt offering.
(17) The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
(18) Do good in Your good pleasure unto Zion: build You the walls of Jerusalem.
(19) Then shall You be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon Your altar.

I had an operation, but the only thing that the surgeon, Dr. Hurdle, could do was put three pins in my hand and wrist, and put on a support cast.

When I returned to the doctor to have my cast removed, he took an X-ray. As we walked back to his office, he was shaking his head, although I didn’t know why. He looked at me and said, “Your wrist is healed. I can’t explain it, but go and fly as long as you can.”

During the time from the fall off the ladder to this day, I have not experienced any pain in regards to the break and have taken no pain relievers. However, Victor later told me that he experienced the physical pain in his hand and wrist while I was in surgery. I can truly say that the bones the Lord has broken do rejoice!

Tithing was a very important part of my journey in learning to trust and obey the Lord for everything. The Lord put us through many circumstances to try us in the very matter of money. Would we obey the Lord or would we reason it out? Would it be obedience or sacrifice? Who was I to give to? I had given to churches, but the Lord revealed to me that I was to give my tithes to Victor.

Our priorities had to be first the tithe, then the bills, and then the food. The reduced items at the grocery store were a blessing and we were never hungry or without. We had everything we needed, and little did we realize that we were being given greater riches far beyond anything we could have imagined! Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace for having given faith to obey.

As I went on my spiritual journey, the Lord corrected and blessed me in many ways. However, He also had to show me something else that needed to be dealt with.

Victor called me one day and said that I was trying to enter the Kingdom another way, not by the cross. As a child, we used to sneak into the fairgrounds without paying our way and I was trying to do the exact same thing here. Spiritual discussion between Victor and me came to an end, and this separation was very difficult. I tried to escape from thinking about it or from dealing with it by keeping very busy, until one day I could not face it any longer. It was so dark that I came home from work and crawled under my worktable in a fetal position. I wished I had never existed and that I would never have to leave that table. But what could I do? I couldn’t stay there. I had to come out and face the day and my responsibilities. I was at a crossroads. Something had to change or I was finished.

The Lord, in His mercy, showed me that the root of my problem was great bitterness towards Howard and Jason. The Lord could not forgive me until I had forgiven them. I had to call them and tell them that I had forgiven them and the call had to be made before 9:30 that evening. It was as though I was wading through muck and couldn’t bring myself to call. Finally, at 9:25 pm, I called them and was able to tell them that I was sorry and that I forgave them. Upon doing this, I felt a release and saw an evil spirit leave my bedroom. Another part of the journey had begun. We cannot come out until we pay the uttermost farthing. We do reap what we sow. Praise the Lord! I was forgiven.

Nine years to the day of the divorce, the RCMP came to notify me that Jason had shot Howard dead. The very thing Howard had planned for me (my death) happened to him. The day that I heard of it, I was reminded of this Scripture:

“A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come nigh you. Only with your eyes shall you behold and see the reward of the wicked” (Psalms 91:7-8).

Victor, Trevor and I visited with Jason on weekends at the Calgary Remand Centre (Mark was living in Japan at the time). We had an opportunity to speak to Jason about spiritual matters and also about what happened between Howard and Jason during the years that we were separated. He agreed to admit his guilt and take the consequences of his action, against the advice of his lawyer. He was sentenced to seven years in jail, which he served in the Drumheller Penitentiary.

In 1995 Victor and Marilyn purchased a strawberry farm for Archie (Victor’s brother) and his family. We were faced with many issues in regards to those working at the farm and Victor realized that something had to be dealt with. One evening, as we were gathered together discussing the various problems, Victor picked up a handful of dirt, threw it into the air, and rebuked the powers of darkness over the farm.

That fall, Victor prophesied that a storm was coming. A pruning process began for all who were there. The storm truly did come and Archie and his family were removed from the farm. For the rest of us, we were to be tried by fire, and what a fire it was to be.

In September of 1996, a prophecy came forth from Marilyn that Victor would die, and that he would have the ministry of Moses in the next life; she would then marry Sean (a young man living at the farm). I believed this prophecy, but I also had a battle with it. My battle was that I was witnessing Sean and Marilyn trying to fulfill it, acting in an inappropriate manner towards each other. I was also torn with facing the reality of it and worrying how it was going to come to pass. There was also the question, “What if I am wrong (in believing the prophecy)?” Mark told me that if I was wrong, better to face it and move on, than hang onto the delusion in pride.

Sean, at this time, suggested that maybe I should fast. I agreed, saying that I was out of control. My question was, “Why I am having such a battle if the prophecy is true?”

When I began to fast, I had two questions that I asked the Lord. The first was, “What am I all about?” The second was, “Is the prophecy true or false?” I felt like I did not know what to believe anymore.

Upon completion of the fast, after 18 days, the Lord spoke to me. He told me what I was all about. I had a hatred of men, and was glorying in what was happening to Victor. I was getting a personal revenge through the situation because of what I had been through with men. The Lord also told me that the prophecy was false.

Upon receiving these answers, I called Victor and told him what I had received from the Lord. He told me that he had had a vision of me standing with my back to him while a great and raging bear was charging me. He handed me a musket, which I took somewhat apprehensively, and, resting the gun on a large crate about five feet cubed, I aimed and fired at the bear, hitting it squarely in the chest, surprising the bear. The bear kept coming on for a few yards more, though its chest had been ripped open, surprised that it should be victim, and incapacitated so quickly and easily, but it finally collapsed, dead. This vision confirmed what had happened to me.

Victor also told me that I believed the prophecy because I did not have a love of the truth.

“And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” (2 Thessalonians 2:10-11).

This storm was very good, for we would not have what we have today if this had not taken place. Through these circumstances, the Lord proved us, one by one.

“For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you” (1 Corinthians 11:19).

“And you shall remember all the way which the LORD your God led you these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you, and to prove you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments, or no” (Deuteronomy 8:2).

This fire was also the very thing I needed to be set free from my hatred of men and from trying to please Marilyn, who had the authority over the farm.

We have become new creatures in Christ, born by fire. Victor and Paul have also been given a ministry together in which they preach to the world.

I am very thankful to know that the Lord is over all, both good and evil. What sense would any of this make if things just happen?! We have seen all things working together for good. The Lord gives us beyond what we could ask or think. He has blessed us spiritually and physically. I realize now that I had nothing to fear but fear itself. The Lord’s words to me at the beginning, “You are going to go through a very hard time, but you are not to fear, as I will not leave you or forsake you,” and, “Through much tribulation you will enter the Kingdom,” were exactly what happened. Praise the Lord! Bless the Lord!

One of the greatest truths Victor shared with us is that we are to submit to our circumstances and to give thanks in everything because the Lord Jesus Christ is running the show.

Lois Darlene Benson

Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada

E-mail Lois Benson